Last year, the Canary reported how Daniel Harvey, activist and campaigner for disability justice, was denied access to Parliament on International Day of Persons with Disabilities, despite making all of the necessary arrangements.

Below, Daniel writes about his experiences and the lack of resolution, months later. In particular, he describes the lack of support offered by Scope, the charity for which he is an assembly member.

Approached for comment, James Taylor, executive director of strategy at Scope, said:

We are sorry for the experience Daniel had when he attended one of our events in Parliament last year and are grateful for his feedback. We have continued to engage with him since the event last December and with Parliament. We know there is more to do so that Parliament does not repeat the same mistakes. And we will look to improve our process for future events.

We are currently working to improve the experience our members have with Scope.

Advertisement

Our members are hugely valued and important to us, and we are currently engaging with all members to understand how we can improve their experience.

Dear Scope

When giving up your time to support one of the UK’s biggest disability charities, you would expect a sense of co-production.

I am currently an elected assembly member for Scope. We are involved in influencing Scope and how they connect with its members and the general public. During my time, I have entered two meetings: one centred around an icebreaker; the other on disability awareness training. The vast majority of us were already familiar with the latter, due to lived experience.

So, technically speaking, I haven’t actually achieved anything.

When I was invited to Parliament for a Scope event, I was denied entry. This was despite having clearance and an official invitation. Due to a governmental error, my invite and clearance was hidden from view. I was told by police officers at the gate that I had to try and resolve this amongst the hustle and bustle of Metropolitan London.

I made the decision to leave after an hour of attempting to call every staff member I could from Scope.

Experts in the systems that hurt us

I’ve received no agreeable resolution. Instead, the expectation was for me to work for free by providing my knowledge and insight to strengthen the government’s accessibility policy.

I am personally fed up with hearing that age-old narrative where disabled people, who have experienced a barrier, are then expected to volunteer their expertise exploitatively. It’s an existential crisis that leaves a bitter taste to those of us who don’t have a choice in becoming experts in the systems that hurt us.

Our insights and experiences are extremely valuable, and to see this poor trend continue within a charity that I deeply respected has saddened me.

Silenced, not empowered

Scope has made multiple errors around supporting and safeguarding its assembly members. Staff members have left without reason. Changes have been made without our acknowledgement. Our current means of communication in WhatsApp has disappeared. Scope has now changed the platform without consulting us to Microsoft Teams, which is atrocious for accessibility amongst our community.

I am shocked by Scope’s approach and their lack of accountability. I’ve had informal meetings with various staff members, but it hasn’t gone anywhere. This isn’t the picture of inclusion I had in mind. Scope is meant to empower disabled people, but somehow I feel silenced.

The lack of communication from a disability charity that supposedly champions inclusion and accessibility has ironically created some very big barriers. There has been no paid staff member monitoring communications, which helps with safeguarding its members. We are also restricted when reaching out to the management team or board of trustees for support, due to a lack of engagement.

Undemocratic

Being an assembly member involves being able to share your perspective on any proposed changes. Instead, we are expected to legitimise the obstacles we are experiencing. That isn’t democracy.

I didn’t agree to sit in spaces where you feel unable to challenge. I am tired of being told to hold my tongue or be grateful when the very things we fight for daily are happening right in front of us. I will not be complicit with Scope if they cannot recognise the value of this assembly.

I spoke with another assembly member, Damian Bridgeman, for his perspective:

My relationship with Scope goes back to childhood. I re-engaged at a governance level where I went back onto the council as a volunteer. I gave up my skills freely.

Damian was later encouraged to become a trustee.

I went through the process despite inaccessible forms. Then I was told my skills didn’t fit the board’s matrix.

Still he remained…

‘Control dressed up as inclusion’

During his involvement with the council, Damian grew aware of proposed charity shop closures. He wrote a 13-page turnaround plan to help. However, he was told that his plan didn’t stack up.

In my career, I’ve developed assistive technology which is now being used by 250 million people globally. I knew I could deliver that turnaround.

Damian’s conclusion is extremely unambiguous:

We are being kept close enough to be visible, but not close enough to have real influence. That’s not inclusion. Instead, that is control dressed up as inclusion.

That last line in particular has hit me. For so many of us, we fight for change in a world where we come face-to-face with health battles, discrimination, physical and environmental barriers and economic exclusion.

Disabled people shouldn’t be expected to sit still with their feelings like it’s some performative act. We shouldn’t ever discourage anyone from the opportunity to engage and make change especially when it’s in reach.

Opportunities like being in the assembly were meant to be that for me. Unfortunately, it has turned out to be a story of deep disappointment.

Please do better.

Featured image via the Canary

The United Arab Emirates (UAE) government has said it wants compensation from Iran for Iran’s supposedly “unprovoked” attacks.

The UAE can whistle

In a statement, the UAE’s foreign ministry says that it also wants full assurances from Iran that the Strait of Hormuz will remain open and all hostilities will cease.

The foreign ministry even claims that it is “not a party” to the US-Israel war of aggression:

UAE Closely Following Ceasefire Announcement, Affirms Importance of Iran’s Adherence to Cessation of Terrorist Attacks, and Ensuring Freedom of Navigation ​

The United Arab Emirates is closely following the announcement by U.S. President Donald Trump regarding the two-week ceasefire between the United States and Iran, and is seeking further clarification on the agreement’s provisions to ensure Iran’s full commitment to an immediate cessation of all hostilities in the region and the complete and unconditional reopening of the Strait of Hormuz. ​

Advertisement

In a statement, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs (MoFA) underscored that the unprovoked Iranian attacks targeting infrastructure, energy facilities, and civilian sites over the past 40 days -which included 2,819 ballistic and cruise missiles, as well as drones -and the resulting loss of life and property damage, necessitate a firm position, including ensuring that Iran is held accountable and fully liable for damages and reparations. ​

The Ministry emphasized the need for a comprehensive and sustained approach that addresses Iran’s full range of threats, including its nuclear capabilities, ballistic missiles, drones, military capabilities, and affiliated proxies and terrorist groups, while ending threats to freedom of navigation, as well as economic warfare and piracy in the Strait of Hormuz. ​ The Ministry expressed hope for achieving sustainable peace for all countries in the region. ​

The UAE reaffirmed that it is not a party to this war and had undertaken intensive diplomatic efforts to prevent its outbreak, including through bilateral channels and initiatives within the Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC). ​ Furthermore, the UAE underscored that it has firmly safeguarded its sovereignty, security, and national achievements, and stressed the need for Iran’s full compliance with United Nations Security Council Resolution 2817 (2026), adopted on 11 March 2026, which condemned the Iranian attacks and demanded their immediate cessation.

The UAE hosts at least 5,000 US troops and the Al Dhafra US airbase, as well as allowing US warships to use its Jebel Ali port. The US has used Al Dhafra in its operations against Iran and has – or had – advanced missile warning radars stationed at the base. As well as attacking the US base and the port, Iran has struck hotels housing US military and CIA personnel moved there from its bases to hide – using other guests as ‘human shields’.

International law expert and foreign policy analyst Reza Nasri explained why the UAE has no grounds for complaint and has collaborated with the US and Israel – and why Iran has acted entirely within its legal rights:

The UAE now demands compensation for what it calls “unprovoked Iranian attacks” on its territory.

Iran stands ready to present clear, verifiable evidence — including precise targeting data, timelines, numbers of strikes, and the specific means and munitions employed — proving… pic.twitter.com/d6TgYJ10Ij

— Reza Nasri (@RezaNasri1) April 8, 2026

The UAE now demands compensation for what it calls “unprovoked Iranian attacks” on its territory.

Iran stands ready to present clear, verifiable evidence — including precise targeting data, timelines, numbers of strikes, and the specific means and munitions employed — proving UAE complicity in US-Israeli aggression.

Advertisement

Iran exercised its inherent right to self-defense under Article 51 of the United Nations Charter in response to armed attacks originating from UAE territory.

By contrast, the UAE actively facilitated and collaborated with the aggressor. It knowingly permitted the United States to use UAE territory as a launchpad and staging ground for strikes against Iran, despite being fully aware that these operations constituted an act of aggression in flagrant violation of the UN Charter.

The United States had no valid claim of self-defense, no imminent armed attack to repel, and no authorization whatsoever from the UN Security Council.

Furthermore, the UAE demonstrated its unwillingness to take any measures to prevent or terminate the United States’ use of its territory once it became apparent that the US-Israeli campaign was predicated on the systematic commission of war crimes.

Advertisement

The UAE’s complicity was publicly acknowledged and expressly thanked by President Trump.

How dare they speak of “unprovoked Iranian attacks”?

Regardless, the UAE is whistling in the wind. Iran has re-closed Hormuz and continues to retaliate after Israel immediately collapsed Donald Trump’s claimed ‘two-week ceasefire’ by perpetrating mass attacks on Lebanon, and the US justified the attacks by denying that peace for Lebanon was part of the agreed conditions.

France and India have responded to the “geopolitical risks” posed by Donald Trump’s aggression and instability by repatriating massive gold reserves from the US. In France’s case, it has taken back its entire US-held reserve – and made a huge profit in the process. The gold had been there since WWII.

Gold out of America

France used a ‘sell-rebuy’ manoeuvre to offload 129 tonnes of gold held at the US Federal Reserve in New York and used the funds to immediately buy new gold at a profit of almost €13bn. India, which had already started the process in 2025 has physically moved another 64 tonnes just since the beginning of 2026.

Although the French government claimed the repatriation was “technical”, the moves come against a background of a flailing Trump threatening to punish countries he feels have not been supportive enough of his disastrous and illegal war of aggression, alongside Israel, on Iran.

Other central banks are considering following suit, including Germany’s Bundesbank, which currently holds a huge 1,236 tonnes of gold in the US. It fears that Trump has his eyes on it and that even if he does not try to grab it directly his unpredictability and his international aggression make it unsafe. Michael Jäger, head of the German Taxpayers’ Federation, which represents wealthy and tax-averse members and would normally be aligned with Trump’s focus on the wealthy and corporations, said German gold is “no longer safe” under Trump:

Trump is unpredictable, and he does everything to generate revenue. That’s why our gold is no longer safe in the Fed’s vaults.

The withdrawal of gold reserves is a further blow to Trump, who has spent hundreds of billions attacking Iran only to be forced to concede most of Iran’s demands in his desperate search for an off-ramp from his and Israel’s illegal, losing war.

Featured image via the Canary

On 8 April, the Nursing and Midwifery Council announced plans to embed “anti-racism principles” in midwifery teaching across UK universities. The move forms part of an effort to tackle the health crisis among Black and brown individuals during childbirth.

As part of its announcement, the Nursing and Midwifery Council acknowledged recent, shocking figures from campaign group Mothers and Babies: Reducing Risk through Audits and Confidential Enquiries across the UK (MBRRACE-UK). They stated that:

Black women are three times more likely to die during pregnancy or in the immediate postnatal period, and maternal mortality rates for Asian women are 1.3 times as high compared with White women. The figures also show that Black babies are over twice as likely to be stillborn as white babies – with Asian babies 50% more likely to be stillborn.

Interim Amos report

These results were further supported by similar findings from the Health and Social Care Committee, Five x More and Birthrights. Likewise, back in June 2025, the government announced an independent, national investigation into NHS maternity and neonatal services.

Valerie Amos, a Labour member and baroness of the House of Lords, is chairing the inquiry. Amos’ interim report, published in February, was damning in terms of structural racism, discrimination, and inequalities, causing a “notably higher risk of adverse outcomes” for Black and Asian parents.

This discrimination against racialised parents is hardly new information. However, Amos shed light on just how little improvement there has been in this regard, reporting that:

Babies of Black ethnicity are more than twice as likely to be stillborn, and are at increased risk of preterm birth and neonatal admission at term when compared with White babies. Neonatal mortality rates are also higher for Black and Asian babies compared with White babies, and there is variation in neonatal care delivery between ethnic groups.

Stereotyping from clinical staff was also a frequent issue. Black patients reported being treated as though they were tolerant to pain due to their “tough skin”. Meanwhile, Asians were stereotyped as “princesses” who were too demanding and unable to handle pain.

‘A national emergency’

Paul Rees, the Nursing and Midwifery Council’s interim CEO and registrar, explained:

Black and Asian women are more likely to die during pregnancy or in the immediate postnatal period, and their babies are more likely to be stillborn.

The situation is totally unacceptable and is a national emergency.

Advertisement

To help tackle the Black maternal health crisis we’re calling on our education partners to embed the new principles which will enable us to embed anti-racism, bias awareness and cultural curiosity, safety and respect across all midwifery education in the four countries of the UK.

We hope that this initiative will make a real difference, meaning that Black, Asian and minority ethnic mothers, babies and families have a far better experience of maternity care across the four countries of the UK.

Although individual universities design their own curricula for midwifery, they have to conform to the Nursing and Midwifery Council’s standards. As such, the council approves and keeps watch on training programs across the UK.

As part of its new push to improve outcomes for Black and Brown people during childbirth, the Nursing and Midwifery Council has stated that it will:

work with all universities delivering midwifery education, to make anti-racism, bias awareness and cultural curiosity, safety and respect more explicit in their curricula.

The council plans to publish the final version of its new guidance later in the spring. Over the coming weeks, it will workshop the document with the help of Black and Brown people with “lived experience of poor outcomes” in maternity services.

‘An urgent priority’ for the Nursing and Midwifery Council

The Royal College of Midwives (RCM) Nursing and Midwifery Council is also supporting the in its endeavor, alongside running its own ‘Race Matters’ campaign.  The initiative’s stated aim is to “dismantle systematic racism within the midwifery profession”.

Gill Walton, chief executive of the RCM, said:

That Black, Asian and minority ethnic women continue to face such stark inequalities in maternity care is a disgrace and tackling this must be an urgent priority for the whole profession. The NMC’s new anti-racism principles are a vital step in the right direction.

This initiative builds on work the RCM has already been doing. In 2023 we launched our Decolonising Midwifery Education Toolkit – the first of its kind, co-created with educators, students and service users – to address the continuing legacy of colonialism within midwifery training. We subsequently developed our Decolonising Midwifery Practice position paper, setting out clear asks for government, NHS Trusts and Health Boards and individual practitioners.

Advertisement

Whilst the Nursing and Midwifery Council’s move toward actively anti-racist teaching is a welcome one, the findings of the interim Amos report show starkly and clearly that midwifery has a long way to go to correct its shocking racial biases.

This must form the foundation for a revolution in the practice, to avoid further prolonging the scandal of Black and Brown peoples’ deaths and serious harm during childbirth.

Featured image via the Canary

Israel has bombed the Qasmiyeh bridge over the Litani River in Lebanon, in an attempt to cut off a key route between Tyre and Sidon.

The Israeli army has bombed the Qasmiyeh bridge, which connects the cities of Tyre and Saida. The south is now almost completely cut off from the rest of the country. This will cause a humanitarian disaster.

— courtneybonneauimages (@cbonneauimages) April 8, 2026

Israel failed to destroy the bridge. This would have further disconnected Southern Lebanon from Beirut and the rest of the country.

🌲 – 🇱🇧 Lebanese Army reopened traffic on the Qasmiyeh coastal bridge after clearing debris caused by last night’s Israeli strikes.

Families south of the Litani River appeal for evacuation after the area was effectively isolated following its destruction. pic.twitter.com/bjhVxrHXht

Advertisement

— Lebanon News & OSINT (@LebOSINT) April 9, 2026

آثار الغارة التي استهدفت جسر القاسمية البحري ليل أمس.
ــــــــــ pic.twitter.com/DNemSzqWAu

— ألأحداث ألإيرانية بالعربية (@iranin_arabic) April 9, 2026

Now, Israel is threatening to bomb the bridge again. Its destruction would cause an even greater humanitarian disaster.

🌲 – 🇱🇧🇮🇱 Mayor of Tyre: Israel is threatening to strike what remains of the Al-Qasmiyeh Bridge, which was attacked and partially damaged last night. https://t.co/uyChoPKGo0

— Lebanon News & OSINT (@LebOSINT) April 9, 2026

Advertisement

War crimes by Israel again

The Qasmiyeh bridge is the last bridge linking the north and south of the Litani River in the Tyre area. Despite Israeli warnings to evacuate, thousands of families are still in the area.

There’s no way to explain the suffering the destruction of this bridge will cause without sounding hyperbolic and the fact that it was intentional should lead to an indictment of war crimes for everyone involved. https://t.co/e1uTlapZfd

— Shane Proteus (@shaneproteus) April 8, 2026

Complete destruction of the bridge would isolate huge parts of southern Lebanon from the capital and the rest of the country. This would make it much more difficult for Lebanon to deliver humanitarian aid to the south. It would also undermine resistance fighters’ ability to travel and defend their sovereign territory.

Of course, this is part of the Israeli Occupation Forces’ (IOF) illegal plan to occupy and depopulate the south.

Northern and southern Lebanon are almost completely disconnected as part of the Israeli military’s plan to occupy and depopulate the south. https://t.co/L5sah174Zj

— Nicola Perugini (@PeruginiNic) April 8, 2026

As always, the end goal is ‘Greater Israel‘, which Israel first mentioned as far back as 1967.

Israel’s goal is the creation of Greater-Israel. They will not stop until they have achieved this goal. They are going to ethnically cleans and occupy whole of Lebanon. This is not about Hezbollah or security, it’s about murdering, expelling people and conquering more land for… https://t.co/UB1pWz3wYq

— Burim Bajrami (@BurimBajrami) April 8, 2026

It is used to refer to the territories Israel illegally stole in 1967: the Palestinian territories, the Golan Heights in Syria, and Egypt’s Sinai Peninsula.

However, Zionists have also referred to it as including all of Palestine, Lebanon and Jordan, along with significant parts of Syria, Iraq, Egypt and Saudi Arabia.

How many genocides does Israel want to add to its scorecard?

They’re about to commit a 2nd genocide. https://t.co/u25ufE1rvX

— Mack V. 실험ᵥᵢᵢᵢ 🟡⚙️ VTuber (@TheMackV) April 8, 2026

What does the international community expect when it has allowed Israel to systematically carpet-bomb Gaza, without repercussions?

I fear we are about to witness another genocide.
Israel has not been held accountable for Gaza, and now we might be witnessing a repeat in Southern Lebanon. https://t.co/aUvVOZ7ezn

— Constantine Valdor -The King in Yellow (@Griffinstreaks) April 8, 2026

You have to sanction Israel @UN
It doesn’t matter if USA vetoes – every country must commit. USA can’t punish everyone. https://t.co/6eCkmVPNCL

— aharring (@aharring) April 9, 2026

Israel has already displaced over 1.1m people in Southern Lebanon, and killed thousands. But humanitarian disasters are its speciality, and just like in Gaza, it has now created another one in Lebanon.

Israel is a US-backed colonialist project that gets off on killing brown people. Meanwhile, the majority of Western governments continue to whitewash their war crimes in the name of ‘defeating terrorists’. We all know it’s bullshit, but unfortunately, until the international community grows a collective backbone, Israel will continue to get away with committing multiple genocides at the same time.

Feature image via AFP News Agency/ YouTube

What is Pvolve?

What did the researchers find?

2 min read6 min

Before entering Parliament, I worked for the Crown Prosecution Service, building cases against those who had committed serious crimes.

In that role, I saw first-hand the impact crime has on victims, families and communities, but also how much of that harm could have been prevented if the right policing had been in place earlier.

It’s something I hear about constantly from my constituents in Amber Valley, people frustrated by shop theft, anti-social behaviour, and the sense that too often nothing is done. That’s why neighbourhood policing matters so much.

Under the Tories, it was hollowed out. Officers were taken off the streets, neighbourhood teams were cut back, and communities were left to deal with the consequences.

We have all felt the impact of these policy decisions. Shop theft has surged, anti-social behaviour has become a daily frustration, and phone snatching and street crime are increasingly common. 

That is the reality this government inherited, and it’s why rebuilding neighbourhood policing has been a clear priority for this government from day one.

This week’s milestone shows what that looks like in practice. More than 3,000 additional neighbourhood police officers and PCSOs are now in place — two months ahead of schedule — and we’re on track to deliver 13,000 more by the end of this Parliament.

Crucially, we’re already seeing the difference this makes.

I’ve been out on patrol with our safer neighbourhood teams in all three of my towns in Amber Valley and I know many of my colleagues have done the same in their constituencies. I saw the value of the relationships the officers and PCSOs have built up with members of our community. It reminded me of so many cases I prosecuted throughout my career where the offender had only been identified and subsequently brought to justice because people had the confidence to speak to their local police teams about what had happened.  

Over just two months this winter, increased patrols led to nearly 18,000 arrests across more than 600 towns and cities. Many of those arrests were for the kinds of crimes people deal with every day: retail theft, street crime, anti-social behaviour. Offences that might not always make headlines but have a huge impact on how safe people feel.

I know that none of this is a quick fix. Years of decline can’t be undone overnight. But after 14 years of neglect, we are finally turning things around.

Linsey Farnsworth is Labour MP for Amber Valley

(Alamy)

4 min read55 min

Speaking to PoliticsHome at the party’s local elections campaign launch on Thursday, Polanski said that the party was dealing with an “immense amount of people very quickly” in its bid to field candidates in Scotland, Wales and council areas across England next month, adding: “I won’t be surprised if we have the odd candidate where we have to distance from them.”

The Greens launched their local elections campaign in London, where the party is expected to make significant gains next month, particularly at the expense of Keir Starmer’s Labour.

After dealing a seismic electoral blow to Labour by winning the Gorton and Denton by-election in February, the Greens are hopeful of seizing control of Lambeth, Islington, Southwark and Hackney councils when voters go to the polls on Thursday, 7 May.

The Greens have surged in the opinion polls since Polanski became leader in September, and now the party is tasked with finding people to stand as candidates across the country.

In an interview with PoliticsHome, the Green leader admitted that vetting such a large number of people in a matter of weeks was a “real challenge”.

“I also recognise we’re dealing with an immense amount of people very quickly, and so I won’t be surprised if we have the odd candidate where we have to distance [ourselves] from them,” he said.

The London Assembly Member continued: “I’m not planning to do that. But also, I’m recognising up front that it is a challenge that you suddenly accept thousands of people and you say, ‘okay, we’re putting your name on a ballot paper’.

“So we’re doing everything we can to make sure we’re doing due diligence. We’ll continue to do that. We’re not being complacent about it for a second and recognise the scale of the task that’s in front of us.”

Polanski predicted that his party would record its best-ever local elections results next month.

As well as winning councils in London, the Greens are expected to make gains across the country, and could be in a position to form a government with Plaid Cymru in Wales.

In his speech this morning, Polanski sought to focus on the affordability of London housing, telling reporters that he would be happy for Green councillors to block developments if they deemed them to be luxury properties, rather than affordable homes.

“We do have a housing crisis, but what we also have is an affordability crisis, and it’s about making sure we build the right homes, at the right price, [in] the right place.

“And what we see far too often with Labour councils is building luxury, unaffordable buildings that no one’s ever going to live in, often knock down communities or destroy communities that are already there in the name of regeneration, but don’t actually replace the homes with affordable homes or council homes.”

Labour has accused Polanski of blocking necessary house building. A van parked outside his press conference this morning, organised by Starmer’s party, accused the Greens of opposing over 40,000 homes.

The Green leader also used his speech to reiterate his criticism of the US and Israel in their war with Iran and Israeli strikes on Lebanon.

“Israel are behaving in a completely uncontrolled way, in a way that they seem to believe they have complete immunity to any kind of sanction or any kind of criticism,” he said, urging the government to completely withdraw the UK from its trade deal with the country.

He asked what Israel would “actually have to do” for the UK to say it is “a country that is behaving like a rogue state”.

“Any community that cares about international law needs to come together and say, ‘this is not acceptable’. We need to do everything we can to stop it. And of course, that relies on pulling every sanction, every arms embargo that we could make, to make sure that Israel can’t continue to murder innocent people.”

Foreign Secretary Yvette Cooper and Defence Secretary John Healey today both urged Israel to stop attacking Lebanon as the UK and other countries try to bring peace to the Middle East and the resumption of vital traffic through the Strait of Hormuz.

Alert readers will have noticed something of a furore in recent days around a boneheaded Scottish Greens candidate (as if there were any other kind) calling for the complete abolition of prisons.

So far Kate Nevens – who on the latest polling has a reasonable chance of being elected on the list – has resisted calls to step down, which is probably for the best as, incredibly, her replacement would be even worse.

With the implosion of Your Party concentrating the nutter vote firmly in Green hands, the next term of the Scottish Parliament is set to feature the worst array of MSPs in Holyrood’s history, with almost everyone in the SNP with any sort of ability or experience resigning to be replaced by hyper-obedient young party drones, while the opposition are mostly putting forward the same old faces who’ve been such utter failures for the last 20 years.

It’s a grim prospect, but we do have a solution to propose.

No, wait, hear us out. The current election will usher in dozens of useless candidates nobody likes, largely by default for want of any better alternatives. We know nothing about most of these people. The Greens may get two list MSPs per region, but see what you can find out about most of their second-placed list candidates – it’s nothing.

Here, for example, is the entirety of the Greens’ web page for their #2 list candidate in Central And Lothians West, Claire Williams.

And here’s pretty much everything we could find out about her:

As far as we can tell she has no personal site and no social media presence except a Facebook page, which mostly contains notifications about upcoming roadworks.

This is the most substantive or personal statement we’ve been able to find from Cllr Williams on any subject:

Good luck with your informed voting decision. We’re using Cllr Williams purely as a typical example of a list candidate, not picking on her particularly, because there’s nothing to pick on, other than the basic assumption that she supports all the repulsive policies of her party in general.

So we’re about to elect a whole herd of pigs in pokes without the slightest notion of whether any of them might be capable MSPs. (And let’s face it, the odds aren’t good.) If we had a Squid Game parliament we’d at least know that they were good at SOMETHING.

The 129 survivors would have demonstrated intelligence, co-operation, adaptability and strength under pressure – all fine traits for anyone, let alone politicians, a job for which there are no qualifications. (Indeed, most of the things that qualify someone as a good and useful human being, like the ability to think for yourself, are an active hindrance in politics.)

And it’s not a brute-force contest either. To win at Squid Game requires a wide and diverse range of skills, as well as the bravery to enter in the first place. You’d know your representatives REALLY wanted that seat, not just because they lacked the talent to get any other job. (There’d be no financial prize other than their normal wages, of course.)

We already know that Squid Game is box-office, compared to the current election which most people already desperately wish would just be over. Voters would actually care. Put it on pay-per-view and you could generate many millions of pounds for hard-pressed public services, as well as improving the quality of your public servants a thousand-fold.

There are no downsides. Convince us we’re wrong.