Ex Wants To Take Kids On Holiday: Private Investigator’s Advice

Summer holiday season is fast approaching. If you’re newly-separated and have children with your now-ex, a private investigator wants you to be aware of some ‘red flag’ signs that could indicate parental abduction.

Now let’s be clear – most parents aren’t going to abduct their own children over the holidays. But there are, unfortunately, instances where this can happen.

According to Reunite International, a UK-based charity specialising in international parental child abduction, around 500 children are abducted from the UK by a parent every year.

Private investigator Paul Jones from ARF Investigations has worked on child abduction cases before. He warns that one of the biggest mistakes separated parents can make is treating overseas travel as a routine arrangement.

And if your ex wants to take the kids away, but their travel plans are vague, Jones warned this should ring some alarm bells.

Per UK government guidance, parents must get permission from everyone with parental responsibility or from the courts before taking a child abroad. A letter from the other person with parental responsibility is usually enough to show they can go abroad.

“You can take a child abroad for 28 days without getting permission if a child arrangement order says the child must live with you, unless a court order says you cannot,” reads the advice.

Taking a child abroad without the correct permission is classed as child abduction.

Jones said: “When you hear of abductions, you think of a stranger, but in my experience, the majority of the time a child is taken by a parent or a family member who has taken them on holiday and then kept them after the agreed holiday end.”

He suggested these abductions “often happen during school holidays, where a child is not returned after a visit to a parent’s home country”.

Jones said parents don’t need to panic over every holiday request, but there are signs to look out for that might indicate something is amiss.

“Details matter,” he said. You should know:

• Where your child is going,
• When they are coming back,
• Who they are staying with,
• How they can be contacted while they’re gone
• What flight they are returning on.

“If you don’t have all of this information, then you need to stop the holiday,” he added.

If your ex becomes defensive about basic travel information, if they refuse to provide an address where they are staying, if they request your child’s passport earlier than necessary, or if they become vague about a return date, these are red flags, the investigator suggested.

He added parents should be cautious if the other parent has previously ignored past contact agreements, blocked communication between you, or made past threats about leaving the country with your children.

“You should also listen to your child,” he noted. “If they start saying things like they may be staying longer, or they’re going to a new school, or even they may not be coming back for a while – don’t dismiss it, as children often repeat things they have heard from adults.”

If you’re worried your child may be taken out of the country without your permission, per government guidance you should contact the police and ask about a Port Alert.

“This will allow the police to contact the National Border Targeting Centre and alert all UK departure points, including airports and ports, to stop your child from being taken out of the country,” said Jones.

“This only lasts for 28 days, so you will need to speak to a family lawyer after this.”

According to the Met Police, you might need a court order to prevent your child from being taken out of the country – in this instance, you should consult a lawyer as soon as possible.