Gentle Partnering: The New Trend That Can Make Your Relationship Happier, Healthier, And More Intimate

Chances are you’ve heard of “gentle parenting,” a method of raising children which avoids taking an overly authoritarian or possessive approach.

It involves approaching each other’s emotions and problems with empathy and curiosity, as a team.

“Gentle partnering is not about one person agreeing all the time or being submissive, it is about recognising our individuality,” said Rogers.

“It is not about power and control but being part of a team and a united front… Having differences of opinion can strengthen a relationship; it is how these differences are communicated to each other that is the key.”

Toxavidi described the approach as one which centres “open communication, emotional regulation, dealing with conflict and feeling loved and supported”.

It aims to “eliminate power and control [and set]… clear and consistent boundaries, which is another essential element that needs to be present and cultivated within healthy relationships.”

Try using “I” statements, try listening to their concerns rather than trying ot immediately fix them, accept your differences with respect, and accept each other’s individuality, Rogers told us.

Apologise, genuinely, when needed, recognise and own your feelings, and show affection regularly.

“All it involves is truly hearing and seeing your partner respectfully communicating your needs and feelings, but also considering and validating your partner’s needs and feelings, even if you do not agree. It is being firm, fair, respectful and maintaining your boundaries.”

Toxavidi said, “When partners can see their differences as opportunities for growth rather than as sources of conflict and disagreement and their different emotional tantrums around different relational issues with compassion and understanding, then a deeper bond and authentic connection can be built.”

Like Rogers, she said it’s important to focus on active listening, “acknowledging and validating someone’s behaviours or efforts,” setting boundaries that can “foster self-respect, safety and open communication,” and extending empathy.

“When someone is actively listening to their partner in order to understand where they are coming from with a deep curiosity of what is all about the other person opposite of them, and listens in order to respond and not to react from an ego place, creates a safe space for the other where defensive behaviour is eliminated and open expression and true intimacy and connection can take place,” she ended.