How To Talk To Children About War And Conflict

This article features advice from Dr Emily Crosby, a child and educational psychologist, as well as experts from Save The Children and NSPCC.

As the conflict in the Middle East continues, it’s common for children to feel stressed and anxious.

“What is happening across the Middle East and the wider region is frightening for both children and adults,” said Rebecca Smith, Save The Children’s global head of child protection.

Not only this but children are likely to be exposed to “distressing content or false information” during these tumultuous times, according to the NSPCC.

If your child is worried about the growing conflict, child and educational psychologist Dr Emily Crosby has shared some advice on how is best to discuss this with them.

If your child has expressed worry about what’s happening, experts at Save The Children advise reassuring them, while being honest and addressing any misinformation or inaccuracies they’ve come across in an age-appropriate way. You can also remind them that it is okay to feel scared or worried.

Dr Crosby agrees. “Validate any feelings and emotions they may have on the topic,” she advised. “Always listen to what they have to say and be careful about [sharing] your own views, give them space.”

If your child is online, the NSPCC said it’s important to make sure parental controls are in place on their device and you’re having regular conversations about online safety.

“It’s important to be mindful of how much news exposure you provide children,” Dr Crosby said, as this could lead to further distress and misinformation.

Save The Children also recommends explaining the difference between sensationalised posts and verified news.

Sometimes children can be exposed to worrying news that isn’t accurate and makes their anxiety worse. As a result, the NSPCC suggests recommending reliable news sources to your child.

And if the disinformation is coming from their friends, “carefully challenge” it, Dr Crosby advised, and explain how this can be affected by other families’ views, too.

Stay calm in this discussion and model the behaviour you want to see, experts at Save The Children added.

If your child is finding the news especially distressing, Dr Crosby said it could be time to consider providing boundaries around the time given to the topic.

“Whilst you cannot avoid the topic altogether, be careful of how much you allow this into the family home,” she said.

UNICEF said that “children have a right to know what’s going on in the world”, but equally, as adults, “we have a responsibility to keep them safe from distress”.

That does not mean being dishonest, but it can mean using age-appropriate language and working out what your child already knows and how they feel about it.

“Focus on what they can control and what they cannot control,” Dr Crosby said.

Save The Children added that it’s important we are “careful not to over-explain the situation or go into too much detail as this can make children unnecessarily anxious”.

Sometimes, a very base-level description of the situation will suffice.