How To Tell If Child’s Stomach Ache Is Caused By Anxiety

What Kids Are Carrying is a HuffPost UK series focusing on how the nation’s youngest generation is *really* feeling right now – and how parents and caregivers can support them.

There can be so many things going on when a child tells you their tummy hurts. They might have a stomach bug, lactose intolerance, trapped wind, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), constipation – the list goes on.

But one thing many parents might not consider is that when a child is anxious, it can also cause them to suffer physically, and stomach pain is a pretty common manifestation of that.

Counselling Directory member Patricia Calabro tells HuffPost UK: “Many of my adult anxiety clients can recall sore tummies, nausea or feeling sick before school, social events or family stress as children, but didn’t know at the time that what they were feeling was pressure, fear or overwhelm.

“Kids don’t have the language, self-understanding or ability to opt out when something feels too big, so the distress lands in the body. The gut is densely connected to the nervous system and reactive to stress hormones – a ‘tummy ache’ is a real physiological event, not an excuse.”

She highlights one particular study which followed children with functional abdominal pain into adulthood – it found 51% had experienced an anxiety disorder in their lives, compared to 20% of children without tummy aches.

“So, taking it seriously early really is a form of prevention,” she adds.

Anxiety is one of the most common mental health concerns children brought up in therapy last year, according to therapists and counsellors.

In October last year, the NSPCC revealed anxiety was the most common mental health concern for children reaching out to Childline, too. The service delivered more than 12,000 counselling sessions to children and young people with concerns about anxiety.

Therapist Claire Seadon tells us stomach ache is “commonly reported by children who are experiencing anxiety”.

First of all, speak to your GP who can rule out any physical issues like constipation or an intolerance.

If everything seems normal on that front, Seadon advises parents to notice any patterns emerging: do they get stomach ache on a Sunday evening before the school week begins? Or are they feeling unwell on a certain day of the week? Or at a certain time?

“Ask yourself, what happens on this day? Do they attend an activity or come into contact with a particular person? A bit of detective work is required,” says the therapist.

Integrative counsellor and psychotherapist Nadia DiLuzio, who is also a Counselling Directory member, suggests if you do notice a pattern in the symptoms occurring and you’ve had their health checked, it could be driven by “a part of the anxiety cycle in which our brain looks for a way to relieve us of these feelings”.

“For example, if I am unwell, I won’t have to sit this exam, attend school, go to that specific lesson, club or activity – or be in a school/home environment I find overwhelming, or with other young people or adults that are unkind to me,” she said.

“If I can avoid the situation or the friendship group or the environment, then I can stay safe.”

If you suspect your child is feeling anxious about something, it’s best to chat to them about where it’s coming from. Snuggle up, have a calm conversation, and see where it leads.

“It’s important to note that a child may not be able to make the link between the stomach ache and feeling anxious,” adds Seadon.

“Depending on the age of the child, they may not be able to articulate a worry, but they will feel the pain of a stomach ache. Perhaps say to them: ‘I notice that you feel unwell every Sunday night, are you worried about going to school tomorrow?’”

If it turns out that something is worrying them, you can then provide support.

DiLuzio advises validating their experience and feelings, rather than jumping to rescue them. “Whilst we want to help them feel better, we also want to show them that it is OK to feel the way they do, that having a range of feelings is part of being human,” she says.

“It can be a gentle way to help them learn how to tolerate uncomfortable feelings because they have support for them.”

You can also explain more about how anxiety impacts our bodies, so your child understands what’s happening when their stomach starts to hurt.

You can say that worry doesn’t just show up in our minds, but in our bodies as well. DiLuzio describes anxiety as “the part of us that is simply wanting to keep us safe and we need to be curious about what it may wish to keep us safe from”.

You could tell your child that “in trying to keep us safe, it amplifies how we feel, so we listen to it and I am here to listen to what that part of you is wanting me to hear”.

Seadon suggests parents might even want to share their own experiences of anxiety showing up in their bodies – for example, before an exam or driving test.

It’s important to bear in mind that these are examples of situational, one off stressors, but a child’s environment, home or school, may also be causing them anxiety.

“For example, if they are being bullied at school, walking into school each day, not knowing what they will have to face, is going to impact them,” she adds.

“Some age appropriate psychoeducation around this can be really helpful, as it can empower the child in understanding their bodies natural responses to anxiety and can support them in making the connection between their emotions and their stomach pain.

“You can enable them to develop an understanding that the physical manifestations of anxiety, serve as a warning signal that they need to reach out for help and support. Knowledge is power!”

• Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
• Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI – this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
• CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
• The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
• Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.