Politics
Israel accused of ‘Jewish supremacy’ by retired IDF general
Academic Shaiel Ben-Ephraim describes himself as a “Jew from occupied Palestine”. He has posted what he describes as “probably the most important Hebrew tweet I’ve ever seen”. Ben-Ephraim introduces and translates the Hebrew words of Israeli general Moshe ‘Bogie’ Ya’alon, one of Israel’s most senior military and establishment figures.
Ben-Ephraim’s words – and the explosive words of Ya’alon – need little elaboration, except to flag to readers that Ya’alon describes Israel as ethno-supremacist “Judeo-Nazis” for their crimes against Palestinian people. And he mocks the common Zionist tactic of complaining that we must never compare Israel to the Nazis. Read in full below – emphases added:
This is probably the most important Hebrew Tweet I’ve ever seen. Moshe Ya’alon is a former chief of staff and defense minister. The absolute cream of the Israeli defense establishment. In this text he admits that the Israeli government and settlers have become Judeo-Nazis and their policy is based on Jewish supremacy. Here is a full translation:
“On the last Tuesday evening, I attended an event marking the International Holocaust Remembrance Day. When I got home, I received a message about Jewish pogromists attacking Palestinians in the south of Hebron, stealing their livestock, and burning their property. “We can’t compare!…”
After ambulances, which tried to reach the scene, were delayed by the Jewish terrorists, three Palestinians were evacuated to the hospital, one of them with skull fractures. “No event can ever compare to the Holocaust, which we endured!” …
I turned, of course, immediately to the security authorities in the area, and I was assured that the incident was being handled by the IDF. To this day not a single Jewish terrorist has been stopped (as in many other cases), because … the Israel Police is controlled by a convicted criminal, a fascist racist Nazi, the Shin Bet is controlled by a representative of “Jewish supremacy” from the schools of the rabbis Tao, Lior, Ginzburg, and Zini (Dodo), the defense minister prevents administrative detentions of Jewish terrorists, and the other minister in the Ministry of Defense encourages illegal outposts and equips them with off-road vehicles, to torment the lives of Palestinians, to evict them from their land, and to settle the land with Jews (you’ll ask again why I blamed the government for “ethnic cleansing”!?). The ideology of “Jewish supremacy,” which has become dominant in the Israeli government, resembles Nazi racial theory, “but we must not compare!” …
When I commanded the Jerusalem and Samaria Division, the Central Command, and the IDF, I was acquainted with the warnings of Professor Yeshayahu Leibowitz, regarding the process of dehumanization to the point of turning us into “Judeo-Nazis” (as he put it), under our control of another people. I did my best, even as defense minister, “so that we may know how to defeat terrorism and remain human.”
I never deceived myself into thinking that only through concessions would we achieve “peace now,” and I also understood the danger of “Jewish supremacy” over our future and our existence. Therefore I advocated separation according to the proto-programmatic speech of Yitzhak Rabin of October 5, 1995, and therefore I named my book is “A Long Short Way.” As of now, Professor Yeshayahu Leibowitz was right and I was wrong.
The task of the next Israeli government is to prove that Professor Leibowitz was wrong, and not to bring ruin upon our state. The government of “Jewish Supremacy” — the government of lies and betrayal — the government of messianism, the traitors and the corrupt — must be replaced before ruin.”
Israelis of conscience see that it is adopting the policies of Judeo-Nazism and Jewish supremacy. They have known it for a long time. But most do not have the courage to say so. This is an earthquake.
Unsurprisingly, the silence of ‘mainstream’ media and pro-Israel groups on Ya’alon’s words is deafening.
Featured image via the Canary
Politics
Why Did Justin Bieber Perform At The Grammy Awards In Just Boxers?
Justin Bieber certainly turned heads at the recent Grammy Awards when he performed in nothing but his satin boxers – but it turns out this was actually a subtle marketing opportunity.
During a very stripped-back performance of Yukon on Sunday night, the Canadian star took to the stage in just lavender boxer shorts and socks, debuting a rumoured new tattoo in honour of his wife Hailey in the process.
It now looks like Justin – who was nominated for four gongs at the ceremony – was also using his return to the Grammys stage to market his own fashion brand, Skylrk, as it’s since been pointed out that the brand’s double-blob logo was visible on the boxers, embroidered in crystal patches.

John Salangsang/Shutterstock
Justin launched Skylrk in July last year, offering comfort-oriented pieces, including $250 (£185) pleated jeans, $200 (£148) sunglasses and $80 (£60) slides.
Of course, the As Long As You Love Me singer is no stranger to overseeing his own own clothing label – in 2018 he co-launched his former venture, Drew House, before finally pulling out of the brand in April 2025 after months of rumoured in-fighting and conflicts with the co-owner, Ryan Good. Months later, he started Skylrk, and has since been sharing prototypes and designs on his social media pages.
Justin’s decision to wear just his brand’s underwear was apparently one he made right at the last minute.
During a recent interview with Rolling Stone, the Grammys’ executive producer explained that, unlike most artists, Justin hadn’t heavily pre-planned his look days before the performance.
“When we had reached out to him about his creative, he was just like, ‘I’m just going to get on stage and sing’,” producer Ben Winston said.
He also revealed that Justin barely used his allotted time to rehearse and left after around 15 minutes of his 90-minute slot, happy with the results.
“It was all him. It was a career-defining moment for him. It was so different to what we’ve seen over the years,” Winston added.
Justin’s next major performance will be in April, as he headlines Coachella – and we wonder if he’ll debut another piece from the Skylrk line.
Politics
Reform has an Epstein problem
Reform UK and its leader Nigel Farage are no party of the people. Their emerging Epstein links show how their relationships with unaccountable transnational ruling elites let them play politics on easy mode. What has changed is that we’re starting to see more and more receipts.
If Farage’s outfit knows one thing it is money. A privately-educated banker himself, Farage has always played the tweed populist while making money moves behind the scenes. For example, this virulent critic of Muslims and Islam was in the Middle East last week ago courting UAE billionaire’s for donations.
But there is more. Property tycoon billionaire and Reform treasurer Nick Candy has now been revealed as an associate of late child-rapist, Zionist, and fascist Jeffrey Epstein.
Reform have an Epstein problem
As Skwawkbox reported recently, the Epstein files name Candy in relation to Epstein. There was even an email talking about Candy’s property firm selling a London flat for Epstein.
The emails appear to show, among other things, that Epstein was a fan of Candy, that Candy and Epstein appear to have swapped phone numbers through a third party, spoke directly – and that disgraced Labour grandee Peter Mandelson was also in the mix.
You should read the full report here.
A former Tory donor, Candy shifted to Reform UK in 2024 and now serves as their treasurer. He even promised the party a massive sum to support their bid for office. Even far-right tech baron Elon Musk – another Epstein associate – approved of the move.
Candy’s job is to elicit money for the nativist party whose officials have spent the last week dodging questions on Epstein. One even threatened to storm out of a TV interview when pushed on the party’s connections to Epstein.
Needless to say the full extent of Candy’s – and his financial dealings – with Epstein are still hazy. Yet the pair’s apparently rather collegiate relationship tells a story.
Questions to answer
Tax expert and economist Richard Murphy drew out some of the contradictions in the Reform UK/Epstein relationship.
Murphy wrote on 5 February:
In December 2024, Candy announced that he had quit the Conservatives and would “become the treasurer for Reform UK”. He then joined Nigel Farage and Elon Musk at a strategy meeting at Donald Trump’s Florida mansion, the latter two of whom also appear in the Epstein files.
Adding:
The trio’s names all appear in a tranche of three million documents released by the US Department of Justice last Friday
Murphy rightly noted:
Appearing in the Epstein files is not an indication of wrongdoing.
But as he pointed out questions remained. And that no Reform MP seemed to have attended the debate on Epstein and Mandelson on 4 February:
That is true, but questions still need to be asked about this and about why, apparently, no Reform MP thought it appropriate to be in the Commons yesterday. Why could that be?
But what are we to make of it all? Because treating Epstein as an aberration, rather than a product or expression of a system, rather misses the point.
Global transnational elites
Epstein was many things. And by all credible accounts every single one of those things was reprehensible. He was a prolific (and prolifically self-serving) operator in international affairs: connector, deal-maker, and schmoozer. Epstein was one figure in an amoral network of transnational elites, dealing in information and brokering power.
He traded in what he and his vile cohorts considered nothing more than property, be it human (his sex-trafficked victims seem to be regularly sidelined in all this) or inanimate. His own politics were clearly of the furthest right.
Ultimately men like these – and they are overwhelmingly men – want to make a world in their own image. With that in mind organisations like Reform UK – led by people with bottomless reserves of base viciousness, bigotry and ambition – are going to have a profound appeal for powerful, hyper-rich grotesques like Epstein.
The core truth is Reform UK aren’t popular, they’re just connected. They’re the electoral wing of a propertied global cartel. Underneath the pint-swilling, faux-populist trappings they represent an identifiable set of class interests. Those interests, as it happens, are the same values as tech barons, billionaires, bankers and property tycoons, petro-lords and bought-and-paid-for politicians and abusers whose names are all over Epstein’s gruesome files.
Featured image via the Canary
Politics
Piers Corbyn is a liability
Piers Corbyn, brother of Jeremy Corbyn, is officially on the ballot for the Your Party Central Executive Committee (CEC) in elections ending 5 January. This is despite Piers’s links to various conspiracy theories.
A pale imitation of his younger brother
Corbyn passed the ballot with 103 votes as an independent yesterday. Since then, people have raised their concerns:
Piers Corbyn is a climate change denier who has been protesting outside refugee hotels alongside fascists of late. The fact that he’s allowed to be in YourParty, nevermind that he has been endorsed for its CEC by 102 London members, is shocking. https://t.co/jZBIpwk87p
— Adam Ramsay (@AdamRamsay) February 4, 2026
Piers has a long history of controversial beliefs, having been very active in the anti-vax movement, leading to his arrest on several occasions. He didn’t stop there, going on to harass NHS workers, accusing them of murder. He also turned up at a drag story time in Brighton screaming “Your parents were straight!”
To be fair, some of the above is kind of tame compared to the time Piers was arrested on suspicion of inciting arson.
Observers have also clocked Piers holding signs saying ‘Stop the Boats’ outside of migrant hotels:
🇬🇧🚨 PIERS CORBYN, brother of JEREMY CORBYN, has arrived at the Bell MIGRANT Hotel in Epping to offer his support.
“I’m here to support the campaign to close this hotel. The boats should be STOPPED. The government is using this CRISIS to bring in DIGITAL ID. We don’t need… https://t.co/536Yj9lkek pic.twitter.com/O7rqq12SVK
— VoxPopuli (@vpopulimedia) August 8, 2025
Just yesterday, he tweeted this:
AND now:
Zach Polanski the conman.
Fact: Man-Made ClimateChange does Not Exist – Download https://t.co/qXisckHYmJ https://t.co/OsYEcRbTUO pic.twitter.com/xulHiKnylA— Piers Corbyn (@Piers_Corbyn) February 3, 2026
Do you see what we’re getting at here?
Is this really who Your Party wants?
The presence of Piers on the ballot poses a significant question for Your Party members.
Will the membership reject his toxic brand of conspiracy-led politics?
Or, will Piers find a powerful new platform for his controversial views?
It all feels a bit ‘nepo sibling’ to us.
Featured image via Daily Record
Politics
WATCH: Starmer “Sorry” for Appointing Mandelson
Looks like he’s seen a ghost…
Politics
The Mandelson scandal has exploded the myth of McSweeney
The post The Mandelson scandal has exploded the myth of McSweeney appeared first on spiked.
Politics
Neva Novaky: Farage’s long career of noise over governance
Neva Novaky is Surrey Area Deputy Chairman and was a candidate in the 2019 General Election.
As a small state, low tax Conservative, I can see why some fellow Conservatives have been tempted by Reform. However, I have no intention of joining them. My reasons are not rooted in tribal loyalty but in judgement, delivery and national interest.
Reform will not deliver low taxes. They claim to be a low-tax party but that is already being tested – and found wanting – in the five councils they control.
Residents of Derbyshire, North Northamptonshire, West Northamptonshire and Leicestershire Council’s, are seeing their council tax increase by the maximum of 5 per cent allowed by law. Kent residents face a 3.99 per cent increase. This is a huge betrayal of the public given they were elected on a promise to cut council taxes, whatever Farage claims.
They are also now backtracking on the £90 billion of tax cuts they promised in their manifesto. In autumn of last year, Nigel Farage said that his party now felt that substantial tax cuts were not realistic.
Reform also announced they are against the two-child cap.
They did not propose a tax cut to support families but defended a government hand out. They put the emphasis on the state giving you back the money you pay them in the first place after taking a cut, rather than allowing you to keep more of your own hard-earned money. This is socialism dressed up as populism.
Then there is Farage’s track record as an elected official for over 20 years – he was a Member of the European Parliament from 1999 to 2020 and there was one single issue that he stood for – UK’s departure from the EU. Yet, it was not Farage, the Brexit Party or UKIP that delivered Brexit or even the intellectual arguments in favour of it. We did that as Conservatives in government.
During his 20+ years representing the UK in the European Parliament, he also did not influence EU legislation or arguably do the job he was paid to do. Outside of plenary sessions where he played to the UK media, he did not do the committee work so as to even try and defend the UK’s national interest in the policy-making process. His attendance was notoriously bad. Meanwhile, Conservative MEPs did the job at hand! They were present at votes and negotiations at all levels (committee and plenary) and worked hard to defend our national interest.
He’s had questions around his expenses throughout his time in the European Parliament and they don’t make me confident that Reform would be a safer pair of hands if in charge of the treasury.
During his time as an MEP, Farage and the group he co-chaired faced various spending scandals. From 2004 till 2019, he co-chaired a European Parliament group of MEPs. Farage was personally found to have not respected rules on staff funding and had his salary cut for 10 months to compensate for it.
His political group’s EU wide alliance had to repay their full 2016 grant of €1.1 million.
While Farage’s team in the EU did underline that they were under higher scrutiny on their public spending for politically motivated reasons, this was also the case for Conservatives. The reality is that decisions taken by Farage and under his watch left him and his European grouping vulnerable. Farage is responsible for at least some of those decisions and indirectly responsible for what happened on his watch.
Then of course there is Russia.
Reform’s weak stance on Russia is not in our national interest – amid the ongoing Russia-Ukraine war, threatening the freedoms we fought so hard for decades before, it is difficult not to see Reform’s history and stance on Russia through the lens of national security. Last year, a UK court found Nathan Gill guilty of accepting bribes to promote a pro-Russian narrative. Gill was a former MEP in Farage’s party under his leadership and briefly head of Reform in Wales.
Furthermore, Farage’s voting record on Russia speaks volumes. In October 2019 before leaving the EU, while we were supporting European efforts to take stronger action against Russian propaganda, Farage and his MEPs were opposing it.
Farage did make a public statement last year finally criticising Putin, saying he was a “very bad dude”. However, that was after he had once said Putin was the politician he most admired and repeated the Russian propaganda after the invasion of Ukraine that the West was to blame for provoking Putin. Everyone is allowed of course to change their minds, but historical statements speak to Reform’s inability to make sound judgements in the interest of national security.
Reform’s track record and that of Farage demonstrate to me that my political values will not be better fulfilled by them. This is not about tribalism – after all, Winston Churchill changed parties. It is about making sure that a potential trade is a trade up. As Edmund Burke argued, those in public office fail the public when the sacrifice sound judgement for an applause. Reform are good at playing for applause but they fail the test of sound judgement and delivery needed to lead Great Britan.
I am sad to see some Conservatives who were unsuccessful in fulfilling their aspirations in my party join Reform. There may be a lesson for us on how to manage aspiration and treat teamwork as a key skillset needed from those in public office. After all, national interest must come before ego.
Those leaving because they fear Reform would beat them, my advice is, do not make it a self-fulfilling prophecy. With elections three years away, there is everything to fight for.
Politics
Peace campaigners protest arms fair at Birmingham NEC
Peace campaigners have held two days of protest to call attention to a controversial arms fair hosted by Birmingham’s National Exhibition Centre (NEC).
There were no arrests outside the Specialist Defence and Security Convention (SDSC-UK) on 3-4 February. Although two protesters were carried off the site.
Actions by around 60 protesters included a mock drone attack ‘die-in’, street theatre from the Red Rebels, a silent vigil led by Quakers, interfaith prayers and drumming.
Arms fair ‘not welcome’
The Stop SDSC-UK campaign includes Quakers, Campaign Against Arms Trade and others. A spokesperson for the campaign said:
The SDSC-UK isn’t just another exhibition, it’s a showcase for companies that profit from war, human suffering, and corruption.
Weapons sold here end up being used against civilians in conflicts from Yemen to Gaza. This is not welcome in our city.
The SDSC-UK has faced protests in every community it has visited. Campaigners forced previous events out of the Three Counties Showground in 2023 and the Telford International Centre in 2025.
Notorious exhibitors at the arms fair have included:
- Thales, linked to arms used against civilians in West Papua and breaches of sanctions against Russia.
- BAE Systems, whose fighter-bombers have been used in Yemen and whose deals have been tied to massive bribery scandals.
- Qioptiq / Excelitas, providing military optics to regimes known for human rights abuses.
- L3 Harris, whose bomb racks have seen use in conflicts in Turkey, Azerbaijan, Ethiopia, and Libya.
- Elbit Systems, a key part of Israel’s drone fleet involved in attacks condemned as potential genocide in Gaza.
An open letter to Paul Reeve, CEO of the NEC Group, signed by over 400 individuals and 30 organisations including Pax Christi and the Peace Pledge Union. Their Peace Dove mascot delivered it to the NEC on 21 January.
In their letter, the campaigners said hosting the arms fair goes against the NEC’s stated commitment to honest, ethical business.
The UK arms industry alone emits over 1.4m tonnes of carbon dioxide annually. And it has links to nearly half of all international trade corruption cases.
The spokesperson added:
The NEC cannot claim to be a responsible, ethical venue while hosting an event that fuels oppression and destruction around the world.
Campaigners are calling on the NEC to refuse to host the next SDSC-UK.
Featured image via Hugh Warwick / Flickr
Politics
Trump whines about ‘bad publicity’ over ICE murders
As we’ve reported, Donald Trump has been deploying masked goons to terrorise US cities. These anonymous thugs work for the US Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency, and yet the Trump regime is using them to intimidate all Americans – not just those who were born outside the states. This recently saw ICE agents murder Renee Nicole Good and Alex Pretti.
Now, Trump has offered the most self-pitying response when asked about their murders:
Trump on ICE: I hate even talking about it. 2 people out of tens of thousands and you get bad publicity.
Llamas: But they were Americans who died.
Trump: They don’t talk about that we have small trucks. We have been very tough on the waters.
Llamas: The waters?
Trump: Where… pic.twitter.com/eO8juwpY4v
— Republicans against Trump (@RpsAgainstTrump) February 5, 2026
Pitiful Trump
To Trump, the great unfairness isn’t that his goons shot an American in the back; it’s that he’s getting bad publicity as a result.
Truly, he’s the least self-aware and most self-centred man to have ever existed. As such, it makes sense he’d end up as the US president. Trump is the embodiment of the past 80 years of the American Empire without any of the pretence.
In other news, Trump has defended Bill Clinton:
Trump: It bothers that they’re going after Bill Clinton. I like Bill Clinton.
Reporter: What do you like about him?
Trump: He got me. He understood me. pic.twitter.com/wNowPvORka
— Acyn (@Acyn) February 5, 2026
If you’re wondering why they’re “going after” Clinton, it’s because – like Trump himself – he features heavily in the Epstein Files. Once again, it’s a case of ‘poor me‘ from Trump, although this time he’s extended his definition of ‘self’ to include the other degenerates who enjoyed Epstein’s company.
It’s obvious Trump isn’t thinking about Epstein’s victims at all. Sadly, he isn’t alone in this, as Maddison Wheeldon wrote for the Canary:
“flawed redactions” of the Epstein Files have made nearly 100 survivors vulnerable, with the women’s lives “turned upside down.” However, the mainstream media circus around the release of the files is conveniently diminishing both the horror and scrutiny of these atrocious crimes, as well as the accountability of the powerful figures responsible for them.
Yet another lawsuit
In this clip, Trump is defending his decision to sue the US Inland Revenue Service:
Trump: Essentially, the lawsuit has been won. I guess I won a lot of money. I’ll give 100% to charity.
Reporter: You’re taking it out of the system.
Trump: No, I’m putting it back into the system. I’m giving it to charity.
Reporter: 38 trillion in debt and we’re taking 10… pic.twitter.com/ylhbRG4Vg1
— Acyn (@Acyn) February 5, 2026
On this topic, AP reported:
In 2024, former IRS contractor Charles Edward Littlejohn, of Washington, D.C. — who worked for Booz Allen Hamilton, a defense and national security tech firm — was sentenced to five years in prison after pleading guilty to leaking tax information about Trump and others to two news outlets between 2018 and 2020.
The outlets were not named in the charging documents, but the description and time frame align with stories about Trump’s tax returns in The New York Times and reporting about wealthy Americans’ taxes in the nonprofit investigative journalism organization ProPublica. The 2020 New York Times report found Trump paid $750 in federal income tax the year he first entered the White House and no income tax at all some years thanks to reported colossal losses.
Regardless of the precise details, it’s obviously not sustainable to have a country in which the leader is suing his own governmental departments.
ICE
For readers in the UK, it’s worth bearing in mind that both Nigel Farage and Kemi Badenoch have both spoken about importing ICE-style policing to the UK. These same leaders have also done more than their fair share of sucking up to the US president. As such, we need to ask ourselves: is this pathetic, declining mess of a country really what we want to emulate in the UK?
Featured image via NBC
Politics
Corbyn calls to centre focus on Epstein victims
Jeremy Corbyn has demanded a focus on the victims of Jeffrey Epstein as the scandal surrounding Peter Mandelson grows. Speaking from the Central Lobby on 5 February, Corbyn called for the US authorities to interview Mandelson and Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor.
Victims of Epstein’s vile network will be scarred forever by the horrific abuse they suffered. It is them we should be thinking about.
pic.twitter.com/EBgrCCUJnC— Jeremy Corbyn (@jeremycorbyn) February 5, 2026
Corbyn makes plea
Corbyn rightly emphasised that the political activity around the latest Epstein File releases should not overshadow the woman and girls involved in these sex trafficking rings. Pointing out the tragic case of Virginia Giuffre who sadly died by suicide in April 2025, he continued:
Others are in a desperate situation. They will be scarred forever by the experience of the behaviour of Jeffrey Epstein. It is the victims we should be thinking about.
Corbyn’s suggestion that both Mandelson and Mountbatten-Windsor would only be questioned under voluntary circumstances is worrying. These two perverted predators should be in fucking prison, not being politely asked to consider facing justice.
Unaccountable
These remarks are absolutely right. It’s the women and girls who have had their lives ruined who should be at the forefront of these investigations.
As Maddison Wheeldon wrote for the Canary:
It is time we empathise and choose to empower women and girls, not continue this toxic cycle of even the reveal of abuse not centring the abused.
Featured image via Sky News
Politics
Manipulative Phrases To Avoid In A Relationship
And speaking to HuffPost UK, relationship therapist and author at Passionerad, Sofie Roos, said there are “a few types of phrases that almost always do more harm than good in a relationship,” too.
“Many of these aren’t mainly about what you say, but about when you use them, and how they shut down a conversation or augment in a way that blames your partner and leaves them feeling that their version [of events] doesn’t matter,” she added.
Here, she shared five hurtful comments she thinks we should avoid using with our partner.
1) “You always…” or “you never…”
One of the Gottman Institute’s four horsemen of divorce is criticism, especially ad hominem critiques, which turn issues with your partner into comments about their person.
Phrases like “you always [do xyz]” can tie “one personal trait to [your partner’s] whole identity… with no nuance,” said Roos.
When comments like these are “thrown in your face, the reaction is often to go into defence mode, and the situation tends to escalate into a dirty fight.”
2) “Boo-hoo, poor you…” or “You’re so dramatic”
Dismissive, sarcastic, and diminishing statements, which suggest your partner is overreacting, are a no-go, said Roos.
They “signal that [your] partner’s feelings aren’t valid and not to be taken as equal to yours, which in the long run makes… their opinion and voice less valued.
“That’s no way to build a healthy, happy and respectful relationship.”
3) “If you really loved me…” or “I thought I meant more to you than that…”
These “manipulative” terms are unfair, Roos told us.
“Using these makes you push your partner into a certain behaviour, and you make them earn your love, which is extremely unfair, harsh and manipulative.”
It also “makes them very tense and afraid of doing wrong, where they feel their love isn’t enough.”
4) “Other couples don’t have this problem” or “My ex never did this”
Comparing your relationship to another couple’s, or even your own ex, should be avoided as much as possible.
It “makes your partner compete with others instead of making you a team against the world, which leads to feelings of not being good enough,” the therapist said.
5) “I don’t care, you do you,” or “I don’t want to tell you what you should do, you know best”
These can be tricky, Roos said, because at first glance, they can have the veneer of consideration.
But often, she said, they’re “actually loaded with anger and bitterness, which leads to a very tense atmosphere between you”. They can force your partner to do the hard work of noticing, bringing up, and “managing” problems you don’t want the effort of addressing.
Instead of this, try to “clear the air by saying what you really think”, and assume responsibility in your relationship by taking a position rather than leaving all the work to your partner.
Overall, Roos said, “Phrases that make your partner feel shamed, diminished, less worthy or manipulated have no room in a healthy relationship. Instead, say what you have on your mind and how you’re feeling, but in a respectful, nuanced, constructive and solution-oriented way that’s not aggressive or confronting.
“That will lead to a more peaceful, stable and happy relationship where both feel needed, seen and equal.”
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