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It’s Not All Strap-Ons: The Best Lesbian Sex Toys And How To Use Them
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Porn really did a number on our concept of lesbian sex.
For decades, there hasn’t been anywhere near enough representation for the women-loving-women (WLW) out there, with buzzwords like scissoring, strap-ons, and tops being thrown around when anyone mentions lesbian sex.
So this might come as a complete surprise, but there’s a hell of a lot more to it than that.
Thanks to famous WLW like Chappell Roan, Kristen Stewart, and Renée Rapp talking more openly about lesbian sex, our idea of what it involves (and who does what to who) has evolved in recent years.
We’re proud to say we’re living in an age of lesbian renaissance, so much so that the number of people identifying as lesbian increased from 2.2% in 2018 to 3.8% in the UK. That might not sound like a lot but, trust us, it shows the tides are turning.
But whether you’re new to lesbian sex, or seasoned in the art of loving vulva owners, there are still plenty of misconceptions about positions and sex toys knocking around (literally).
So, ahead of Lesbian Visibility Day 2026, we asked experts what lesbian sex really looks like, and rounded up some of the best sex toys to enhance your adventure.
Misconceptions about lesbian sex toys
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: identifying a lesbian has nothing to do with men.
As much as free internet porn might have convinced you otherwise, wanting penetration during vulva on vulva sex doesn’t equate to wanting to have sex with men – or be one.
This is one of the most common misconceptions about lesbian sex toy use, according to sex educator for Lovehoney, Javay Frye-Nekrasova.
“When people, especially lesbians, choose to use dildos and other insertables, it has nothing to do with wanting to have a penis or trying to ‘be a man’ but is just an avenue for pleasurable exploration and sex that is penetrative,” she says.
When lesbians choose to integrate strap-ons, this also doesn’t mean that the wearer ‘should’ be the more masculine-presenting partner, Frye-Nekrasova explains.
“Toys and activities do not determine someone’s gender identity, and it does not mean that someone is trying to fit a particular role (as dictated by society) in their relationship,” she says.
“Don’t bring society’s expectations or rules into your bedroom or sex life. There is nothing wrong with enjoying particular activities or roles in the bedroom. As long as you and your partner are communicative and have a sex life that you both enjoy and find pleasurable and are open to adjusting as the moment and your relationship desires, that’s all that matters.”
Types of lesbian sex toys
Contrary to popular belief, not all lesbians use strap-ons, nor do they all love scissoring. Okay? Got it?!
In fact, there is a smorgasbord of sex toy options available for WLW folk.
“Pretty much every type of sex toy can be used during lesbian sex if you are creative enough or open to trying new things,” explains Frye-Nekrasova.
“Vibrators are great for all-over use, and insertable toys, like dildos, are great for penetrative play. App-controlled toys are a great choice if you want a little more fun or to engage in discreet public play, while kink and BDSM products can also add some spice to sexy time.”
How I tested the best lesbian sex toys
Wouldn’t you like to know? As a seasoned WLW myself, I’m always on the look out for sex toys that can fit seamlessly into my sex life.
When looking for a lesbian sex toy, I consider how easy it would be to use it during sex with a partner, including the size, ergonomics, and number of settings it comes with.
I’ll also consider material, looking for stainless steel, crystal, borosilicate glass, medical-grade or body-safe silicone and ABS plastic, as these are non-porous and won’t transmit bacteria or STIs.
Depending on whether my partner is into playing in the shower, I’ll also think about whether a toy is waterproof, as well as whether it can be controlled long-distance by an app, or if it has a travel lock (because, duh, lesbians love both those things).
Best lesbian sex toys in 2026
What goes around comes around, and this double ended vibrating dildo will certainly make you both come. You can connect it to the LELO app, which makes things easier when trying to control the separate motors instead of reaching between you when things get slippery.
A good dildo is an essential for lesbian sex, and this one from Biird is pretty much perfect. It comes in at just under six inches, has a strong suction cup so you can stick it to any surface, and it’s not too curvy, making it great for beginners and aficionados alike. Oh, and it comes in a velvet storage pouch to keep it safe and dry (bougie!).
In my experience, it’s rare that both couples like to be penetrated at the same time. If one of you is more into clit stimulation and the other into penetration, this double-ended wand is ideal because, one again, it’s app-controlled, and has 10 patterns and 16 intensities to choose from, so you can find that sweet spot.
Now here’s an idea: one of you wears this dual clit and G-spot stimulator while the other controls it with the remote. That way, one of you can get off while you pleasure your other (I’ll leave it up to you to figure out how). Now who’s the pro?
If you’re looking for something that will definitely get the job done (à la Chappell Roan), this magic wand is loaded with 20 vibration modes and 10 patterns, for direct clit stimulation that will leave you shaking as hard as it does. It’s also the most waterproof toy on the market right now, which means you can take it for a dive wherever you like (we’re thinking hot tub in Hawaii, what about you?).
As a society, we’re really not talking about mutual masturbation enough. Specifically, the joy of seeing your partner get themselves off. This grind pad gives your lover a delightful view of you riding your way to O-town, and they can even take the reins with the remote, too.
It’s no secret lesbians love rings (look, some things are stereotypes for a reason, ok?) but this one from Unbound Babes is extra special. It might look like just a chunky accessory, but really it’s a multi-speed vibrating ring to turn you on at the switch of a button. Chic as hell.
Anyone into kink play will tell you, it’s really hard to find restraints that feel as cute as they look. These cuffs from Bellesa are the exception. Not only are they baby pink, but they’re also super soft and can be tightened or loosened by sliding the ribbon – cute!
Chakrubs
Crystal-loving girlies, this one’s for you. As well as claiming to help facilitate shadow work, thanks to being made from Black Obsidian, the crystal for protection and grounding, this dildo is super curvy, so that bulbous end hits your G-spot just right. The surface also cools down and heats up quickly, making it ideal for exploring temperature play for the first time.
If you’ve ever worn a strap, I won’t have to tell you the struggle of trying to get all the components in the right position, and picking your wedgy out mid-thrust. These open-back briefs are not only designed to combat that, but are actually comfortable. You can insert a dildo or strapless strap-on (your choice, and even connect the straps to your favourite pair of suspenders. Hot.
It can be really hard to tell exactly how much something is vibrating when you’re using a sex toy on someone else, so I love that the remote of this C-shaped toy is filled with haptic squeeze sensors that mirror the vibration intensity of the toy you’re controlling. As well as being just deliciously intuitive, the toy itself (which sends pleasure to your G-spot and C-spot simultaneously) can be used in any position, including when being penetrated with a strap. Did someone say double trouble?
One thing about strapless strap-ons is they’re always way too hard. This one from Ann Summers has completely bendable pony, so the wearer can actually be comfortable (who would’ve thought) and, even better, they can get off thanks to the base being equipped with vibrations, so you can both come at the same time. Now that’s pleasure.
Tips for using lesbian sex toys
If you’re new to sex with vulvas, or simply want to refresh your knowledge, we asked Frye-Nekrasova for her tips on how to integrate sex toys into your intimate moments.
Communicate
“Have a conversation ahead of time about what you both like individually in terms of toys, and then work from there to decide where you would like to start with toys together,” she says.
“It is a good idea to get new toys with new partners rather than using the same toys from previous relationships and partners.”
Positions
“Whatever position feels best for everyone involved should be where you start,” Frye-Nekrasova advises.
“I personally find doggy to be a great position, especially when using the strap, as it can be used to better align the bodies to make penetration easier. If you want to enhance the overall feelings and pleasure, add a sex pillow like the Lovehoney Elevate Sex Position Pillow or Lovehoney Move Sex Position Pillow.”
Scissoring (or tribbing) can be a helpful position if you’re using vibrators or double-ended dildos, she adds.
“A wand does really well for this because the vibrations are felt on the entire head of the toy, so both partners can experience the vibration sensations,” says Frye-Nekrasova. “Palm vibrators can also work well for this.”
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