Millennials Feel Constantly ‘Checked Out’. Experts Share How To Cope

If you feel “checked out” more often than not these days, you’re certainly not alone.

Between reading about and witnessing footage of multiple wars, humanitarian crises, the devastating effects of climate change, as well as bracing ourselves for threats like self-improving AI and a “Godzilla” El Niño, things can feel pretty overwhelming (to say the least).

One millennial Redditor recently explained how they spend “way too much time” on their phone and social media and have realised “how cyclical everything is, how much noise there is, and how little impact” it now has on their life.

They asked: “Is anyone else kinda just checking out of everything?”

Plenty of people could relate to this sensation. “I’m finding myself watching nothing but 90s/00s nostalgia videos lately. I really can’t cope with this hell anymore,” said one commenter.

“I think our generation is just burned the f out,” said another. “We are onto our one millionth ‘once in a lifetime event’ now. We were sold a bunch of ‘work hard’ lies that aren’t paying off. Most of us are one big financial problem away from complete financial ruin. Who wouldn’t be burnt out?”

It’s swiftly becoming the norm to check out – and often it’s not because people don’t care, it’s self-preservation. As one respondent shared: “Same. The past couple [of] years I followed the news a lot because so [much] crazy shit has happened, but lately I’m like.. yeah whatever.

“And it’s not OK, I know this, but it just has less and less impact. I’m very desentisised to horrible events. I almost feel like I am less human than I was 10 years ago. Like it’s slowly eating at my emotional abilities. It sucks.”

Feeling “checked out” can be understood as “the mind’s response to feeling that there is simply too much to process”, said counsellor Edward Hopgood.

“We are now surrounded by a constant stream of information, news, social media, advertising and popular culture, much of it designed to capture and hold our attention,” he explained.

“Even when we are not actively seeking it out, information can be coming at us throughout the day. For some people, this can begin to feel overwhelming.”

Counsellor Rose Fisher notes how while evolutionarily, we would’ve benefitted from local, immediate information that was relevant to our social group or survival, now we receive information that isn’t necessarily even geographically or psychologically relevant to us – and it is endless.

“We are exposed to far more information than we can meaningfully attend to, process, and integrate,” said Fisher, who is a member of Counselling Directory, “therefore, at some point, we have to stop taking it all in fully.”

When we become overloaded, we might then “check out” to cope.

Putting into perspective just how much things have changed in a relatively short amount of time, and how we’ve had to adapt to this bombardment of information, counsellor Annabelle Hird recalled how just over 25 years ago, many of us witnessed in real time the Twin Towers being struck by hijacked planes.

“The world was in shock as we saw the atrocity unfold, televised live into our workplaces and homes. It was probably the first time our knowledge of such an event was quite so instant and the impact was felt across the globe,” she said.

Fast forward to now, said the mental health expert, “and we go about our business with the news of wars, genocide, natural disaster and economical collapse gently humming in the background”.

“We find ourselves less easily shocked and more able to take on this information without it changing how we live our lives. It has become ‘normal’ to learn of terrible things.”

This can all contribute to what’s been dubbed ‘outrage fatigue’, that emotional exhaustion and almost numbness that can come from repeated exposure to outrage-inducing news or events.

While people might initially spring into action at something that seems unjust and morally wrong – for example, genocide – as they become bombarded with more and more outrage (which, let’s face it, social media algorithms are pretty good at doing) they can begin to increasingly feel like there’s nothing they can do. Apathy kicks in. People shy away.

Counselling Directory member Becky Walsh suggested that when people feel checked out, “it can feel like not caring”. But, she noted, the opposite is likely to be true.

“Hypoarousal is when the nervous system gets to a point of emotional overwhelm. This is when we can reach a state of ambivalence to the news and current affairs,” she said. “It doesn’t mean we don’t care, just that it’s too much for our nervous system and we gently close ourselves off in a form of self-protection.”

Some of the other signs you might be “checking out” include becoming less emotionally present, going onto autopilot or finding it difficult to concentrate.

“In the short term, this can create some distance from everything that feels demanding. It can be the mind’s way of saying, this is too much right now,“ said Hopgood.

Overload might also trigger the opposite effect, “for some people it can produce increased checking, anxiety or agitation,” said Fisher.

While mental health experts stress there’s not anything concerning about occasionally needing to switch off, if “checking out” becomes a default state, this might signal you need to take action, as it’s essentially a sign you’re overwhelmed and burnt out.

“If someone notices themselves becoming mentally checked out, it can be helpful to approach this with curiosity rather than self-criticism,” said Hopgood.

“Instead of asking, ‘Why can’t I concentrate?’, they might ask, ‘What am I taking in at the moment, and is it more than I have the capacity for?’. Sometimes the answer may be that they simply need less stimulation.”

If you do recognise that you need less stimulation, the key is often taking a step back. And yes, that might mean a digital detox – or at the very least, limiting device usage. (If you struggle to put your phone away, there are tools like Brick that can enforce this for you.)

“It can be useful to put some boundaries around our consumption of media, news and social media,” Hopgood continued.

“Rather than allowing an app, news cycle or media source to determine when it gets our attention, we can make a conscious decision about when and what we consume.

“Setting time limits, switching off notifications, having periods without screens, or choosing particular times to catch up with the news can help us take some control back.”

Fisher advises turning off your device when you start to feel “checked out” and, instead, spending time in nature; with a friend; or reading a book.

Grounding techniques can also help bring us back to the present. Hopgood advises “noticing your breathing, feeling your feet on the floor, stepping outside, or spending time doing something that requires your attention without constantly introducing new information, even for a brief time”.

If you do instigate some form of digital detox, Hird advises setting boundaries around engagement when reintroducing the use of apps and devices.

“Counselling can also be helpful,” she said. “It offers a safe and time-boundaried space to talk through and explore some of the issues that keep us up at night. It can be a very supportive tool for those who want to be able to function, but do not want to detach themselves from world events.”

• Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
• Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI – this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
• CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
• The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
• Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.