Super Mario Galaxy Movie Reviews: Critics Slam ‘Rubbish’ Sequel

The reviews are out for the new Super Mario Bros. Movie and… it sounds like the film is anything but a level-up.

While we weren’t exactly expecting the follow-up to the animated video game adaptation to be the next Citizen Kane, it’s worth pointing out that the response to the first film was, at least, somewhat mixed, and it went on to gross more than a billion dollars at the global box office, making it the 20th biggest box office earner of all time at the time of writing.

Ahead of The Super Mario Galaxy Movie’s release at the end of this week, critics have been having their say, and they’ve certainly not been holding back, with a smattering of two- and one-star reviews (not to mention a zero-star take from one particularly unimpressed reviewer).

Here’s a selection of what’s been said so far about The Super Mario Galaxy Movie…

“Of course it’s intended for little kids, but it surely didn’t need to be such a visually dull screensaver of a movie, with even more of the cheesy, Euro-knockoff look of that first film. And, again, the paucity of funny lines is a real puzzle.”

“It’s a supremely vacuous anti-movie that climaxes with a sequence featuring full-screen Nintendo gameplay, as if to remind us of the levels of rancid commercial whoredom we’ve reached.

“The film is torturous to sit through and, for me, provoked periods of actual physical discomfort. I had to stab myself repeatedly in the hand with a pen to distract from the howling distress. It’s that bad, and that offensive.”

“It’s testament to just how bad the original Super Mario Bros Movie was that this sequel can be a noticeable improvement in every respect – animation, storytelling, humour, vocal performances, you name it – while still comfortably qualifying as absolute rubbish.”

“The Super Mario Galaxy Movie” is frenetic in such an impersonal way that it feels like the entire film should be put on Ritalin […] The film treats its story as a threadbare adventure, a mere throwaway, because it’s so focused on those little pings of recognition for gamers. And that’s quite a comedown.”

“[The Super Mario Galaxy Movie] offers the adults a few pings of nostalgia, but otherwise it’s a humourless, hysterical trudge. […] The moments of fan service might keep the hardcore happy, but for everyone else over the age of five it’s just a succession of loud, bright things happening without any real point.”

“Relentlessly fast-paced and filled with hyperkinetic visuals, the sequel hits the sweet spot in terms of what its target audience wants, even if adult non-aficionados will find little of interest other than the starry vocal cast.”

“The Super Mario Galaxy Movie doubles down on its own blandness. There’s barely a plot here. Not a single memorable character. Not even another piano ditty for Jack Black to sing […] There is… one real, solid joke in this film? And it’s mostly just repeating a bit from Disney’s Zootopia.”

“A movie like this will probably make a lot of money, because it doesn’t rock the boat. But a boat that never rocks is a boat that never goes anywhere. That’s how boats work. They’re supposed to take you on a journey.

“The Super Mario Galaxy Movie doesn’t take you anywhere you haven’t been before, and it’s not as fun, it’s not as exciting, and it’s not as challenging as literally any of the games it’s based on. This is not an adaptation of the Super Mario Bros., it’s just a reminder that the franchise exists.”

“A masterpiece of game design that provides endless levels of unique planets to roam and explore, 2007’s Super Mario Galaxy is filled with moments of pure euphoric joy […] yet somehow on screen, it all registers as flat, imagination packaged into the most cleanly corporate and focus-group approved form possible.”

“While it’s likely that retro gamers won’t find anything here that wasn’t in the first movie – Yoshi and one or two others aside – it’s no doubt got enough for kids to enjoy, which will surely come as a relief for parents looking to entertain their offspring over the Easter holidays.”

“This is not a movie to be scrutinised, but to allow beleaguered elder millennial dads to sit their tots down for a precious two hours (if you count the trailers) and get some much-needed rest. It’s cute, and breezy, and rock-stupid, and will probably make a billion dollars again. Such is the world in which we live.”

“This film is even more of a manic roller coaster ride compared to the first movie, with so many gaming references packed into every scene, it’s hard to keep up. There are also a lot more power-ups used this time around, and that results in some fun and interesting combat for Mario and Luigi.”

The Super Mario Galaxy Movie arrives in cinemas on Friday.