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We’ve Found 21 Of The Best Sex Toys To Boost Your Sex Life After Menopause
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Until way too recently, women of ‘a certain age’ have been unfairly labelled as undesirable and past wanting sex. To which we have to say: what the hell?
While menopause can bring with it a whole host of bodily changes, including taking a swing at your libido, contrary to popular belief, it is not the end of desire and pleasure for vulva owners.
In fact, menopause is a ‘new phase’ of pleasure, according to Samantha Marshall, head of brand at Smile Makers Collection, a GenM MTick-certified sexual wellness brand.
“Libido isn’t something that stays constant throughout life, and menopause is one of many moments where it can shift,” says Marshall.
“What’s important to remember is that this isn’t a ‘loss’ so much as a transition. Our relationship to pleasure evolves over time, and menopause is another opportunity to get to know your body again. For many, a lot of life is actually post-menopause; so this isn’t the end of pleasure, it’s a new phase of it.”
In case you were looking for a reason to start this new phase, like ASAP, sex toys can be an excellent tool to reconnect with your body, according to Marshall.
“Sex toys aren’t just about pleasure in the moment; they can support circulation, explore new types of stimulation, engage your pelvic floor and help you stay in touch with your body as it changes.
“Having tools that make exploration easier and more intuitive can help reconnect with that sense of desire, too.”
To help you on your journey to re-prioritise your pleasure, we’ve rounded up the best sex toys for menopause, as well as tips for how to add them into your sex life after menopause.
What happens to libido during menopause?
Our hormones (famously) go through a huge shift during menopause. This can contribute to changes in our sex life, with up to 86% of menopausal women reporting vaginal dryness, reduced libido, and discomfort, according to research by Smile Makers.
“Hormonal changes can play a big role in libido, but they’re only part of the picture,” Marshall says. “Things like stress, routine, sleep, medication, and life changes often have just as much, if not more, influence on desire.”
The drop in oestrogen can also impact our vaginal health, she adds. “Dryness or atrophy can cause pain or discomfort during penetrative sex and then in turn might make sex feel less desirable,” Marshall explains.
While these changes can result in wanting less sex, menopause doesn’t have to mean the end of pleasure.
“It’s about getting curious and finding new types of stimulation, not ignoring our most intimate parts and burying our head in the sand, but acknowledging that it’s such a worthwhile investment of our time and energy to seek our and allow ourselves pleasure,” Marshall explains.
What to look for when buying sex toys during menopause
As your body inevitably changes during menopause, you might find the stimulation you previously enjoyed changes.
External
Menopause can result in vaginal dryness and tightness, so Marshall recommends looking for toys that stimulate the external portions of your vulva.
“Many of us rely on clitoral stimulation to orgasm, and during menopause, internal sensitivity can decrease or feel uncomfortable,” she says. “Start with a design for exploring in and out.”
Adjustable
“Look for toys that let you easily control intensity, especially if sensitivity varies,” Marshall explains.
This might also involve using toys in more inventive ways, such as a suction vibrator on your nipples and other erogenous zones, rather than just your clitoris.
Material
As sensitivity fluctuates during menopause, you’ll also want to look for soft, body-safe materials like silicone.
“As our vulva and vaginal tissues can become drier or more delicate, softness matters more than ever,” Marshall explains.
Certified
If you’re not sure whether a toy is menopause-friendly, look for products that carry the GenM MTick, Marshall recommends. “This is a trusted symbol that shows the product is suitable for menopause and has been independently assessed to meet the needs of women and people experiencing it,” she explains.
21 of the best sex toys for menopause to shop now
To save you time scrolling, our shopping writer has found 21 of the best sex toys for menopause, including options made from body-safe materials, that are versatile, and some that have the GenM MTick certification.
While you might not want to venture inside the vagina, there’s no reason you can’t reap the benefits of exploring its entrance. This vibe from Biird not only mimics oral sex on your C-spot, but sends vibrations around the rim of your vagina, too, for blended orgasms that can’t be beaten.
If you’re looking for something that hits the spot, the Dot from Swedish brand LELO is truly the best of the best. Thanks to that pointed tip, it provides eight modes of ultra-targeted vibrations to whatever erogenous zone you please: clitoris, nipples, or even behind the ears. Yum.
Our pelvic floor naturally weakens as we age, especially if we’re not exercising it like we would any other muscle. This intuitive, app-free pelvic floor trainer from Smile Makers Collection will finally teach you how to engage your pelvic floor, which in turn will boost your orgasm strength and (less sexily) prevent incontinence in later life.
If you’re feeling sensitive down there, this vibrator shaped like a coco de mer seed (see what they did there?) is designed to cradle your clitoris for stimulation that’s as direct, or indirect, as you’d like. Its motor with 10 different vibration settings is also surrounded by a layer of ultra cushioned silicone, for extra softness.
Exploring pleasure for the first time in a while? You might not want everyone on your street to know about it. Luckily, Womanizer has created a completely silent (our shopping writer can confirm) vibrator that sends 10 intensities to your C-spot via your choice of its curved head, swooping hook, or entire length. It really depends on your vibe.
Do you love oral sex, but you’re bored of telling someone to move slightly to the left? Relatable. Well, we have good news for you because this vibe from LELO is designed to feel exactly like a tongue so you don’t have to rely on anyone else to get you off. It’s powered by a rotating nub that moves in 12 motions, and is 100% waterproof in case you like to get it on in the bath.
If there’s anyone you can trust to create a pleasure pal specifically for folks with vulvas, it’s the MIT engineer and sexologist behind NYC-based brand Dame. This simple vibe sits perfectly in the palm of your hand, and can be bent and squished any which way to make sure your choice of its 10 vibration modes hits exactly where you want it to.
New to the sex toy game? This simple vibe from So Divine is called irreplaceable for a reason: it’s easy as pie to use, thanks to being powered by one button that levels up between 11 suction intensities, and that soft silicone head comfortably cushions your clitoris for what one reviewer describes as a ‘cloud nine finish’. Dreamy.
In case you do still feel like venturing inwards, this versatile vibrator from LELO gives you the option to switch between two kinds of stimulation. That round ribbed head can be used for external exploration, while the opposite end doubles as a G-spot vibrator. If you feel like getting techy, it can be controlled via the LELO app to unlock two extra vibration modes, or else you’ll have 10 patterns and 16 intensities to control with its manual buttons.
Not sure how much direct stimulation you can take? Introducing sensory play could be a fun way to reconnect with your body without having to go near your erogenous zones, and this vibrator can both heat to 38 degrees and cool to 20 degrees to add a new dimension to your stimulation. It’s also loaded with three vibration intensities and three patterns in case you want to spice things up.
If you’ve decided your next holiday is the time to prioritise your pleasure, this curved clit toy comes in its own travel case that will keep it safe from the suncream and sand that inevitably makes its way into your luggage. The shape makes it ideal for resting against your vulva, making for an effortless expedition to O-town.
In pursuit of discretion? We’ve got you – or, rather, Maude has, with this minimalist ‘massager’ that can be left out on your bedside table without rousing any suspicion. This one’s also great for beginners, as it’s powered by just three vibration modes, controlled by its one button.
Looking for a quick fix to abracadabra your way to renewed pleasure? Magic wand vibrators are some of the most powerful and versatile toys out there, and this one from Rocks Off comes with two attachment heads that open up a whole new world of play. As well as being packed with six vibration modes, Quest has a handle so you don’t lose control of your vehicle, and comes with its own remote so you can hand the reins over to your lucky lover.
To quote one Britney, this Womanizer is so damn charming, you’ll never look back. Powered by the brand’s Pleasure Air Technology, it’s designed to simulate the sensation of the best head of your life. There’s a reason it’s loved by celebs like Katy Perry and Lily Allen. Plus, it’s rose gold – need we say more?
Sometimes bringing a fuck off huge sex toy into the bedroom has the opposite of its intended effect: it completely kills the vibe. This tiny vibrator won’t get in the way if you’re playing with a partner, as it slide onto your digits to send its whopping 17 vibration patterns and 3 speeds to any zone you like without you barely having to lift a finger.
Bullet vibrators are another great option for sliding between you and a lover in the heat of the moment; this one from Bellesa won’t raise any alarm bells with your neighbours as it’s completely silent. And, whether you’re using it solo or as an add on during penetration, it comes with plenty of power thanks to its five vibration speeds.
You deserve to be treated, so get you a vibe that can do both. This purple pal from Smile Makers Collection can be used either inside or out, depending on your mood, and it’s as beginner-friendly as it looks.
For a hands-free experience, this bumpy buzzer from Rocks Off is designed to be sat on and controlled with a remote. The smaller of its two nubs rests against your C-spot, while the other stretches across your vaginal opening and perineum for full-genital stimulation. Its flat base makes it ideal for riding, but you can also use it as a hand-held vibe if you prefer lying on your back.
A flat surface isn’t for everyone, so to add a little extra texture into the experience, this bullet is covered in lumps and bumps to mix up your stimulation. If you’re not feeling vibration, you can roll it over your sensitive spots to wake them up, or switch between its five rumbly vibration intensities and seven patterns for the duet of a lifetime.
You don’t have to go all the way to Paris to find a lover, Smile Makers has made one that’ll come straight to you. Intended to mimic a french kiss down there, this bullet is crowned by a silicone ‘tongue’ to send its four vibration speeds along the length of your vulva. Oh, and top tip: use plenty of lube for an extra-realistic experience.
While this isn’t the most fun of toys, if you’re experiencing extreme vaginal tightness, a dilator set could help you work your way back up to full-on penetration.
Tips for using sex toys after menopause
As with taking a break from anything, jumping back into the pleasure pool with a changing (or changed) body can be slightly intimidating.
To guide you through the process, we asked Samantha Marshall, head of brand at Smile Makers Collection, for her advice on using sex toys after menopause.
Lube first
Lots of women experience dryness during and after menopause, which lube can help with.
“Lube can completely change the experience, making intimacy feel comfortable again and most importantly pleasurable,” Marshall says. “It acts as cushion to increase glide and decrease friction.”
Consistency
Consistency can prevent intimacy from feeling like a chore. “Keep it regular, not rigid,” Marshall says. “Like any wellness habit, consistency helps; but it should feel inviting, not like a task.”
Stay curious
To avoid putting unnecessary pressure on yourself, be curious about what feels good, over performing. “This is a time to explore, not to recreate what things used to feel like but to meet yourself, your body, your pleasure exactly where you’re at today and be present,” Marshall says.
“Arousal may take longer, and that’s completely normal. Build sensation gradually, and remember that pleasure isn’t just about one area. Massage, touch, audio, or setting the mood can all help you reconnect with your sexual self.”
Comfort is key
You may experience discomfort or pain if you have vaginal dryness or tightness after menopause.
“Don’t push through pain, especially with penetration,” Marshall recommends. “Discomfort can negatively impact desire over time, so it’s worth adjusting rather than enduring.”
Enhancement, not replacement
“Use toys as a bridge, not a replacement,” Marshall notes. “In partnered sex, they can take pressure off and open up communication; turning intimacy into something more shared and exploratory.”
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