Why Are People Calling Women ‘Birds’ Online?

Content note: this article contains discussion of domestic abuse.

If you grew up in the UK, you might have heard women referred to as “birds” once in a while (stats suggest many of us would like to ditch the term, however).

That usage refers to women in general, or a female partner, but on social media, calling a woman a “bird” has come to mean something entirely different.

People on apps like TikTok have taken to referring to women as “birds” for enduring bad treatment from the men they’re romantically involved with, or for being overly male-centred (prioritising male perspectives and approval).

“A bird is essentially a woman who will give up her self-dignity for the purpose of supporting a man or being with a man,” one TikTok creator said, though the poster stressed that didn’t extend to physical abuse.

An example may be “if he cheats on you 35 times and you get with him a 36th time”, they added, and “you are willing to lie for a man … [and] are willing to put a woman down for a man”.

Per Urban Dictionary, it can also mean someone, especially a girl or young woman, who’s naive, easily fooled, and/or lacking in common sense.

It may also refer to internalised misogyny – so-called “bird brain behaviour” can involve laughing at a man’s joke deriding another woman’s looks, for instance.

Some have called the new use of the phrase “misogynistic”.

“Anyone notice how calling a woman a bird has quickly shifted from holding women accountable for enabling men, to blaming women for being mistreated by men?” asked one TikTok creator.

“Calling women birds for something a man did is rooted in misogyny,” another claimed.

Not every use of the term “bird” has to do with men (one creator suggested hanging out and trusting a girl “who talks negative about everyone in their life” is “bird brain behaviour”), and some male-related videos about “birds” say the term shouldn’t extend to abuse and only applies to general bad dating behaviour.

But other posts on social media suggest the demarcation isn’t always clear.

“A piece of shit man can also be an abuser… just because it’s not straight-up domestic abuse… there’s different ways to be abused,” one TikToker said.

They added that factors like financial inequality, a patriarchal society, and negative childhood experiences can make staying through poor treatment and abuse more likely, which the charity Women’s Aid and research papers agree with.

“I’ve been thinking that calling women ‘birds’ is… basically telling her to shut up and that whatever situation she’s in is her fault,” a commenter assented, while another wrote: “I totally agree as a [sexual assault] survivor”.

A spokesperson for the European Institute for Gender Equality (EIGE) told HuffPost UK that if the term is used to describe abuse, it’s important to remember that “violence against women is fundamentally both a cause and a consequence of gender inequality”.

“It is rooted in unequal power dynamics and is often used to maintain power and control over women, whether in intimate relationships, workplaces, online spaces or public life,” they said.

“In this context, we also need to look at the responsibility online platforms have in moderating conversations about violence against women – especially when the language and tone risk reinforcing victim-blaming attitudes.”

But they added that safeguards should be instituted from the top down on social media, rather than focusing on a specific trend or post.

If you, or someone you know, is in immediate danger, call 999 and ask for the police. If you are not in immediate danger, you can contact:

• The Freephone 24 hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge: 0808 2000 247
• In Scotland, contact Scotland’s 24 hour Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline: 0800 027 1234
• In Northern Ireland, contact the 24 hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: 0808 802 1414
• In Wales, contact the 24 hour Life Fear Free Helpline on 0808 80 10 800.
• National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0800 999 5428
• Men’s Advice Line: 0808 801 0327
• Respect helpline (for anyone worried about their own behaviour): 0808 802 4040