Worry Time Could Help Kids (And Parents) Manage Anxiety Better

Worry often creeps in gradually rather than all at once. It can start with a passing comment, an incident at school, or a lingering “what if” that occupies a child’s mind longer than it should.

If left unchecked, this worry can envelop a child’s day, much like ivy wrapping around a tree, tightening its grip.

Anxiety can gradually erode a child’s confidence, sense of safety, and overall ability to enjoy life. It can manifest in various ways, from overt signs such as a child refusing to go to school or avoiding social situations, to more subtle expressions like irritability, sudden outbursts, or a façade of exaggerated confidence that conceals deeper unease.

Parents often find themselves navigating the complex landscape of supporting both neurotypical and neurodivergent children, striving to acknowledge their feelings while preventing those feelings from taking complete control.

The challenge lies in understanding how to give children’s worries the attention they deserve without allowing those worries to dominate their lives.

Ignoring anxiety doesn’t make it disappear; it often creates more space for it to grow, becoming louder and more persistent.

Conversely, giving anxiety constant attention can be equally unhelpful, allowing it to seep into everyday activities, especially during mealtimes, school runs, and bedtime when thoughts tend to rush in unfiltered.

Children require not endless discussion nor firm dismissal, but rather structure.

One effective approach I recommend to parents is known as “worry time”. This simple yet structured method helps children process their thoughts without allowing anxiety to spill over into every aspect of their day.

The concept is straightforward: just as a fast-growing plant requires a pot to contain it, worries need a designated space where they can be addressed safely and within limits.

‘Worry time’ is a brief, dedicated period, typically lasting 10 to 20 minutes, ideally scheduled around the same time each day, perhaps after school but well before bedtime.

It is crucial that this time is one-on-one, involving just one parent and one child, free from distractions. No phones, television, or interruptions – just focused presence.

During this time, children are encouraged to express whatever is on their minds. The parent’s role is not to solve problems immediately but to listen attentively. One of the most impactful questions a parent can ask is, “Do you want me to listen, or help you problem-solve?”

While the designated time itself is important, the real power of ‘worry time’ emerges from how parents engage with worries outside of that period.

Inevitably, concerns will arise at other moments – on the way to school, during dinner, or just as bedtime approaches. Instead of diving into discussions during these moments, parents should acknowledge the child’s feelings but gently defer the conversation back to ‘worry time’.

A simple response could be, “I can see that’s really on your mind. Let’s talk about it in worry time. You could write it down so we don’t forget.”

This approach validates the child’s feelings while reinforcing an important boundary: worry has its place, but it does not need to dominate everything.

Over time, this practice helps children develop the essential skill of recognising their thoughts without feeling overwhelmed by them.

Many practitioners are witnessing a concerning rise in anxiety among children.

From 2019-2020, there were nearly 99,000 new referrals to NHS mental health services for patients aged 17 or under due to anxiety, a number that surged to over 204,000 in 2023.

As of early 2026, more than 550,000 children are on mental health waiting lists, with many awaiting treatment for over a year.

Whether these trends relate to long-term impacts of disrupted early experiences, increasing social pressures, or the rapid pace of modern life, the reality is stark: more children are struggling to manage the overwhelming volume of information and emotions they encounter daily.

This is particularly true for neurodivergent children, including those with ADHD, who often experience heightened sensory and emotional input. For these children, the world can feel more intense and overwhelming, making structured emotional processing not just beneficial, but essential.

‘Worry time’ is not about eradicating anxiety, which is both unrealistic and undesirable.

Small doses of worry are a natural part of the human experience. Instead, the goal is to contain it – providing enough space for acknowledgment and processing without allowing it to overshadow everything else.

When worry is allowed to spread unchecked, it can constrict a child’s world. However, when it is gently contained within clear boundaries, there is space preserved for joy, connection, laughter, and simply being a child.

By offering children a dedicated space to address their worries, parents can help ensure that anxiety does not overshadow the moments of joy that are so vital to childhood.

Gee Eltringham is a SEN family psychotherapist and founder of twigged, the family membership for ADHD help and support.

• Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
• Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI – this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
• CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
• The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
• Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.