A three hour long indie game, about teenagers enjoying their final summer together, has inspired an internet hate campaign of disturbing proportions, but why is everyone so upset?

The term non-game dates back to the Nintendo DS, in the mid-2000s, and was not intended as an insult. In fact, it was coined by former Nintendo president Satoru Iwata and used by him to describe titles such as Brain Training and Nintendogs which, as he put it, don’t ‘have a winner, or even a real conclusion.’ Non-games are not necessarily devoid of traditional gameplay, or an ending, but they are made with different intentions, and often for a different audience than normal, and for some people that means they must be hated above all things.

As a concept, the non-game has many antecedents, all the way back to the 1980s, including Jeff Minter’s light synthesiser Psychedelia and interactive rock opera Deus Ex Machina. SimCity is also often considered one, although creator Will Wright preferred the term ‘software toy.’

Terms fall in and out fashion, and nowadays SimCity and any similarly open-ended simulator would be called a cosy game. Walking sims are a more modern invention, and in that case the name was definitely intended as an insult, since in gameplay terms that’s often all you do. That in turn implies that, to the benighted minority, the award-winning narratives of games like Dear Esther and What Remains Of Edith Finch are somehow irrelevant. Which brings us neatly to the embarrassing furore surrounding Mixtape.

Mixtape is not literally a walking sim, but it shares a lot in common with that genre. There are a number of simple minigames, that you cannot fail at, but much of the story plays out on its own, without any input from the player. It’s a flawed experience, that relies a bit too much on its soundtrack and general 90s nostalgia – especially given the sometimes cheesy dialogue – but it’s breezy and competently made and utterly inoffensive.

If you’re not familiar with the game, or the anger surrounding it, you’ll quickly get an inkling for what’s going on when you hear that two of the three main characters are young women and that the game’s publisher is being accused of bribing video game journalists.

A good argument can be made for Gamergate being the vanguard for the worldwide rise of far right rhetoric, which is as terrifying as it is pathetic, when you realise it revolved around nothing more than nonsensical conspiracies about review scores and women in video games.

The madness surrounding Mixtape makes it depressingly obvious that little has changed since 2014, to the point where Xbox felt the need to step in and say something this week, presumably because Mixtape is on Game Pass at the moment.

At this point, many agitators are savvy enough not to focus on the female characters, although there’s been lots of purposefully vague talk about the game not being relatable, as if it was the law that every game should appeal to everyone. There’s also a lot of weird conspiracy talk about the game’s positive reception being funded by giant corporations, despite the developer being a 12-person team from Australia (and it having a Very Positive user rating on Steam).

Mixtape is published by Annapurna Interactive, which was co-founded by Megan Ellison, who presumably is or will be a billionaire – and yet her film company, from which the video game side spawned, has never funded anything more expensive than a Dick Cheney biopic.

It’s hard to believe that the sort of person who would complain about Mixtape would care that it was somehow siphoning money away from other indie developers (which has been one of the other suggestions). In any case, that ignores the fact that Annapurna Interactive is one of the best indie publishers in the business and since 2017 has been consistently putting out a wide range of interesting and unique games from many different developers – and yet for some reason this is the one they decided to bribe IGN for a good score?

The complaints about the lack of interactivity also seem insincere. Either that or these people’s minds are going to be blown when they find out about visual novels or the final disc of Metal Gear Solid 4. Interactivity is at the heart of video games but the exact nature of it is highly malleable. From the earliest days, games could be all action or slow-paced strategy but in the last few decades the broadening of gaming’s audience has meant there’s plenty of space for narrative-focused games with low levels of interactivity or cosy games with low levels of anything except comforting vibes.

That hasn’t meant less of the other type of games – it’s not like Mixtape’s developers were being tempted away from making the next Gears Of War – it’s just meant that people that wouldn’t previously have considered being game developers have been able to make games for people that hadn’t previously considered being gamers.

Whether you like the games that result or not that seems like it should be something that’s celebrated by everyone but, as we see with Mixtape, that’s not the case. In trying to understand what so many people are upset about you have to work through several layers, the first being the general sense of mass hysteria which social media has always encouraged.

Sexism definitely plays a part but more even than that, there’s a sense of petty outrage that anyone would dare make a game not aimed specifically at a traditional male audience, not just in terms of the protagonists but a game with almost no gameplay. The obvious response to this outrage is to wonder why anyone would care, considering there are already many games like Mixtape and an almost infinite number of action-orientated alternatives, but clearly that’s not enough.

Imagine if action movie fans suddenly started a hate campaign against Hamnet, angered that it had the temerity to exist, and attract critical acclaim, rather than its meagre resources being directed towards making a film they liked. That’s what’s going on this week in the world of video games and it’s sad to say it almost certainly won’t be the last time.

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Life appeared to be on hold. The main street was still decorated for Ramadan, and almost all houses seemed abandoned. The village was quiet, but not in peace. Near the mosque, I met two cousins, Fatmeh and Dunya, both in their 80s. Outside, a banner paid tribute to the late Hezbollah leader, Hassan Nasrallah, killed by Israel in 2024. “We’ve witnessed many wars. But we’ve never left,” Fatmeh said. “Whatever happens we thought we’d die in our homes rather than leave.”

Locals have said that the proposals are “excessive” for the location and appears to represent a “significant overdevelopment”

People living near a site where more than 30 flats could be built have said that the plans are “excessive” and “a significant overdevelopment of the site”. They are worried that the number of flats could “add substantial population pressure with no matching services” and that increased car use could “become dangerous”.

GCR Camprop Fifteen Ltd has proposed to change an office building into 32 flats on Station Road in Shepreth. The buildings have been used as offices for a “significant period of time”. If approved, the flats would be a mix of studios and one-bedroom flats.

The plans have received over 15 objections so far. One objector said that the proposal is “excessive for this location and appears to represent a significant overdevelopment of the site”. They said that the scale is “not in keeping with the character and density of the surrounding area” and the “level of intensification risks harming the local character and setting”.

Another said that although in principle they “like the idea of small flats being provided for the area”, they are “concerned about the increased car use and parking in an area that is already highly problematic especially in such close proximity to the level crossing”.

The concerned local feels as though adding more vehicles to the roads, especially on Station Road, will “become dangerous or make the road unusable”.

Another local raised a similar concern that “providing just 10 parking spaces for the proposed number of dwellings with potentially further development” is “not realistic”. They said: “It is not practical to live in Shepreth where we have no local amenities and not have a car.”

Multiple objections were lodged about the “inadequate natural light” and that the application “fails to ensure sufficient adequate natural light in all habitable rooms”.

Another objection said: “The proposal represents a significant and inappropriate over-intensification of residential use in a small village, relies on unrealistic assumptions, and appears to be a fragmented or ‘creeping’ residential scheme that avoids proper scrutiny of the full site.”

An “unanswered concern” raised by the objector incudes the emergency access and fire safety risks including having “only one access point for the entire development” and “no clearly demonstrated turning head for fire appliances”.

They believe that the proposal would “add substantial population pressure with no matching services”, “increase delivery traffic due to lack of amenities”, “remove employment use without adequate consideration” and would provide “no affordable housing”.

The applicant has described the location of the proposed flats as “highly suitable”. They added: “The site is located adjacent to Shepreth Train Station. The site is therefore very accessible from London and Cambridge. Cambridge to Shepreth typically takes 13 to 16 minutes which makes travel by rail a very desirable option.

“The new Cambridge South Station will also make the site more accessible from south Cambridge, southern fringe development areas and connect the site with Addenbrooke’s Hospital and the Cambridge Biomedical Campus. It is expected that residents would choose the location for its excellent rail links and would not be reliant on car travel.”

It is believed that the development, which was submitted to South Cambridgeshire District Council, will not have an impact on the local highway network, according to a transport technical note produced by the applicant. It will also not result in any significant change to traffic.

Allegiant Air said Wednesday it has completed its purchase of Sun Country Airlines, finalizing a deal that combines two low-cost carriers at a turbulent time for the budget airline industry following the recent shutdown of rival Spirit Airlines.

Las Vegas-based Allegiant said the transaction closed after receiving required regulatory and shareholder approvals. When the deal was first announced in January, Allegiant said it was valued at about $1.5 billion, including debt.

“Today marks a defining moment in Allegiant’s history as we officially join forces with Sun Country,” Allegiant CEO Gregory Anderson said in a statement, adding that the new combined airline is positioned to offer broader access to affordable travel.

The deal comes as both airlines and travelers are grappling with a sharp run-up in jet fuel costs driven by the war in the Middle East, a jump that is already showing up in higher fares and fees across the industry. That increase is hitting low-cost airlines especially hard, since they have less room to absorb rising costs.

The pressure was especially acute for Spirit Airlines. The ultra low-cost carrier shut down after 34 years May 2, its collapse accelerated by the sharp rise in fuel costs following years of financial strain, including heavy debt, repeated restructuring efforts and ongoing cash-flow problems.

Against that backdrop, Allegiant and Sun Country say their tie-up gives them more ways to generate revenue. Along with passenger flights, Sun Country brings into the fold cargo flying for Amazon, as well as charter trips for sports teams, casinos and the U.S. Department of Defense,.

Allegiant says the expanded network is also expected to give travelers more options, especially in smaller and mid-sized markets, with about 195 aircraft serving nearly 175 cities and more than 650 routes.

For now, travelers shouldn’t expect any changes. Both airlines will continue to operate separately, and customers can keep booking, checking in and managing trips just as they do today.

Allegiant said it will take time to bring the two airlines together. Over the long term, the combined company is expected to operate under the Allegiant name and remain headquartered in Las Vegas, while adding new options and connections across its broader network.

Minneapolis–St. Paul, where Sun Country is based, will remain an important hub for the airline.

The British Geological Survey (BGS) recorded a magnitude 2.3 tremor centred near Silverdale at 8.11am, at a depth of around 3km beneath the ground.

It was strong enough to be felt across the border in Cumbria and in communities around Morecambe Bay, including Carnforth, Grange‑over‑Sands and Milnthorpe.

The earthquake hit in Silverdale (Image: British Geological Survey)

One resident in Carnforth wrote online: “Anyone else feel a tremor this morning?

“Must’ve been around 10.10am/10.15am?

“Sounded like my neighbour dropped something huge (they’re not in) and then a loud noise shook the whole room.”

Reports submitted to the BGS website describe the quake as feeling “like a small explosion underground” and “like a heavy lorry outside” rattling past, while others said they “heard a loud thump” or “a loud bang” followed by a “large, quick shake”.

Although a magnitude 2.3 event is considered minor in global terms, quakes of this size are often noticeable if they happen close to the surface and near populated areas.

People are unlikely to see damage, but can feel a short, sharp jolt, hear furniture rattle or notice windows and doors vibrating.

The UK experiences dozens of small earthquakes every year, most of which go unfelt because they occur offshore or deep underground.

On average there are more than 100 recorded quakes annually, with the vast majority falling below magnitude 3.

Silverdale and the wider Morecambe Bay area have seen several small tremors in recent years, with local geology and ancient fault lines thought to be behind the cluster of minor quakes.

Residents who believe they felt this morning’s tremor can submit details to the BGS via its online “Did you feel it?” form, including the time, location and what they experienced.

That information helps seismologists refine their measurements and map how far the shaking travelled.

The Stone Roses Bar in King Street has taken to social media after a number of stickers reading ‘voice activated’ popped up on machines around the bar including the jukebox, the phone charger machine, and even the hand dryers in the men’s toilets.

Bar manager Joel Langton, 31, said that the mystery started on Saturday morning when the bar’s owner, Joel Bray, came in and spotted the first sticker on the jukebox – with the rest found by staff over the next few days.

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He said: “He put it in our staff group chat and asked if it was meant to be on there for any reason. Later that afternoon when I came into work, I went up to the toilets and noticed the one on the hand dryer as I was going to dry my hands.

“I sent a picture of it to Joel who said it was hilarious and they were going to be all over the pub. So, we had a laugh about it, then yesterday morning, I finally saw the last one on the phone charger machine a few days after. That’s why we did a post on socials to see if anyone owns up to it.”

The special voice activated hand dryer in the men’s toilet (Image: Stone Roses Bar)

Joel said that the staff had found the whole thing and reactions to it to be ‘hilarious’, but (un)fortunately, as far as they were aware, nobody had been fooled by it.

The team at Stone Roses also suspects that the culprits behind the stickers are likely male students, but that if someone is able to prove that they were behind it, they’ve earned a handshake and a pint.

Joel added: “It’s hilarious and we love a harmless prank. It’s a bit annoying that we’ve got to peel them off and get the sticky stuff off, but that’s about it really.

The sticker on the jukebox (Image: Stone Roses Bar)

“We haven’t seen anyone put them up – they’ve done it really secretly. Before we opened yesterday, I had time to skim through the cameras at the jukebox, but you can’t really see when it happened because there’s always someone stood in front of it.

“It’s funny, because we’ve got our own label maker, so we had to check to make sure it was still locked up. Turns our stickers are smaller than the ones that were put up, but it would have been really funny if it had been one of our staff.”

An oncologist traveling on the cruise ship at the center of a hantavirus outbreak says he’s the lone American isolated at a special biocontainment unit in Nebraska.

Dr. Stephen Kornfeld of Bend, Oregon, says he volunteered to help care for fellow passengers who began getting sick aboard the MV Hondius in April. He was among more than 120 passengers and crew evacuated from the ship, and flown to different countries to enter quarantine.

While 15 other Americans are being monitored at the National Quarantine Unit at the University of Nebraska Medical Center in Omaha, Kornfeld was the only one taken to a separate unit after a nasal swab he took on the ship tested positive for the virus.

“I feel wonderful, 100%,” Kornfeld told CNN’s “Erin Burnett OutFront” on a video call from his hospital room Tuesday.

He said there was a period on the ship when he came down with flu-like symptoms including night sweats, chills and fatigue but he said he has no symptoms now.

The World Health Organization said Wednesday that a total of 11 hantavirus cases linked to the cruise have been reported worldwide, including three deaths. Eight cases have been confirmed by laboratory tests.

Kornfeld said a nasal swab he took on the ship was later tested twice in the Netherlands. One result came back negative, the other positive. He’s now awaiting results from a new test taken when he returned to the U.S.

“The initial test that we received was from abroad and it was inconclusive in its results,” Dr. David Fitter of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention told reporters Wednesday. “So we’re in the process of testing currently and we hope to have those results back in a day or so.”

In addition to the passengers taken to Nebraska, two other Americans are being monitored at the serious communicable disease unit at Emory University Hospital in Atlanta.

Health authorities say it is the first hantavirus outbreak on a cruise ship. While there is no cure or vaccine for hantavirus, the WHO says early detection and treatment improves survival rates.

Public health officials say the risk to the general public from the cruise ship outbreak is low. Hantavirus usually spreads from rodent droppings and is not easily transmitted between people, though the Andes virus detected on the Hondius may be able to spread between people in rare cases.

The WHO is recommending that passengers and crew from the cruise ship stay in quarantine, either at home or other facilities, for 42 days.

Kornfeld described his quarters in Nebraska as a hospital room with a comfortable bed.

“It’s a little weird being in here by myself,” he said. “But the nurses come in, the doctors come in. I’m on WhatsApp all the time. It’s really amazing how quickly time flies.”

The US Vice-President has made a not-so-subtle dig at Donald Trump’s 11-year stint as host on NBC reality game show The Apprentice

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US Vice President JD Vance has jumped at the chance to take a jab at Donald Trump, by way of a joke about the now-US President’s time as host on NBC TV programme The Apprentice. When asked during a Washington press conference about Trump polling crowds at a Monday White House dinner about a possible Republican successor, the Vice President replied: “I just don’t think it sounds like the President of the United States to have a televised competition for who would succeed him as his apprentice.” As chuckles and guffaws rang out crowd-wide, he continued: “I just think that’s not at all what you would expect the president to do.” Vance had, of course, been referencing Trump’s 11-year stint hosting NBC’s reality game show and global TV sensation The Apprentice and The Celebrity Apprentice for 11 years. Trump was the centric force to the fan-favourite programme, which ran from 2004 until 2015 when he departed to run for US President.

Vance’s not-so-subtle dig at the US President comes after Trump conducted an informal straw poll in the White House Rose Garden on Monday, asking visiting law enforcement officials and other allies at the dinner if they preferred either him or Rubio as next in line. Trump told his guests on Monday: “I don’t know who’s it going to be — Is it going to be JD, is it going to be somebody else? I don’t know,” he said. The US president then turned to his guests to hear their views. He asked: “OK, who likes JD Vance?” To tepid applause, Trump then asked: “Who likes Marco Rubio?” Speaking in Washington on Wednesday, alongside Medicare and Medicaid administrator Dr Mehmet Oz at a press conference to detail the administration’s latest efforts to combat ‘public benefits fraud’, Vance was quick to add a caveat, telling reporters that Trump has “always been fascinated by politics”.

The Vice President said, therefore, it was only “natural for him to, you know, joke around with us a little bit, to play around with the idea”.

He also seemed a tad uncomfortable about being played off against Rubio, telling reporters there were ‘few topics that I want to talk about less than what office I’m going to run for years down the road’ when asked about a possible joint ticket with the now-US Secretary of State two years from now. Vance was also pressed on recent comments made by the US President, who is currently in China to meet with President Xi Jinping. A reporter could be heard asking Vance during the wide-ranging press conference: “When approaching the war with Iran, do you agree with the President’s position that Americans’ financial situations should not be a consideration in that decision-making process?”

Vance replied that Trump’s word had been taken out of context. He said: “Well, I don’t think the President said that. I think that’s a misrepresentation of what the President said.” “But, look, I agree with the President that Iran should not have a nuclear weapon. We’re obviously engaged in a very aggressive and very engaged diplomatic process to try to ensure that doesn’t happen,” he concluded, adding: “And the President has a lot of options.” Trump, however, did say that he doesn’t consider the financial woes of the average American when making decisions about the US war with Iran, which has seen fuel prices skyrocket and the cost-of-living spike worldwide as a result.

Speaking on the White House South Lawn just before he departed for his diplomatic trip to China, Trump was asked to what extent “Americans’ financial situations” motivated him to strike a deal with Iran. “Not even a little bit,” the US President said. “The only thing that matters when I’m talking about Iran: They can’t have a nuclear weapon. I don’t think about Americans’ financial situation. I don’t think about anybody. I think about one thing — we cannot let Iran have a nuclear weapon. That’s all.” A reporter followed up on whether he really wasn’t thinking about the economic impact of the war. “The most important thing by far – including whether our stock market, which, by the way, is at an all-time high – but including whether our stock market goes up or down a little bit, the most important thing by far is Iran cannot have a nuclear weapon,” he said, before adding: “Every American understands.”

Cameron Dickson said he first reported the large tree on Nuttall Lane in Ramsbottom 18 months ago.

The dad-of-two claims he asked the council for details about when the tree was surveyed and believes it has not been reviewed by the council.

The tree overhangs both the highway and Cameron’s garden, he claims.

Cameron said earlier correspondence from the council led him to believe they would maintain the tree, which is why he has not taken action yet.

He said he is unsure what proportion of the tree can be cut back on his side as a landowner.

Cameron, who works in the construction industry, said: “At one point, there were some large twigs, branches, whatever you want to call them, falling into my garden where my two daughters play, and they’re three and one.

“I just think it poses a risk to not only us and my children but also the road users, given that at least 50 per cent of it hangs over the road.”

He said he brought the issue to his local councillor, Gareth Staples-Jones, who Cameron described as “helpful”, but he claims they have not had a response from the council.

Cllr Gareth Staples-Jones said: “Originally, Cam contacted me over a year ago, the council did a site visit and arborists agreed upon inspection the tree needed pruning – as a councillor I’ve chased every month for the last 12 months.

“Every time I chase, I’m given a specific month the tree is to be pruned by, and then we reach that month, the tree has not been touched. Cam and I exchange emails where I apologise, tell him I shall chase up the matter again – I then get given a new date, and the cycle has so far repeated for 12 months.

“I’ve now raised the matter directly with the chief executive of the council.

“Sadly, we’re no further along, and I’ve not received any other updates.

“As a councillor, despite my challenges to escalate the case due to the time taken, I’ve been told by the council that this is not possible given the lack of arborists currently employed by the council, due to historic financial constraints.

“However, I’ve been told that there will be a plan to recruit more arborists in the long term.

“I have previously suggested getting contractors in to clear the backlog and to tackle specific cases, but have again been told that, due to financial constraints, this is not possible. I’ll continue to engage with Cam until we get this resolved.”

Cameron said: “Council tax is up at the moment. They barely empty the bins, and they don’t grit the roads properly.

“If it were anybody else, I would be changing providers, but unfortunately, you can’t do that.

“At what point do things like this constitute us not paying council tax? It’s just not right.

“I’m not a ‘Karen’, you know, I don’t go looking for things like this.”

A council spokesperson said: “We are writing to Mr Dickson to confirm that the work is on our work programme to be carried out before the end of June, to apologise for the delay and to thank him for his patience.

“We can confirm that there is no tree preservation order for the tree, and works will include pruning of the overhanging limbs, without having to access Mr Dickson’s property.

“We take safety very seriously and do a survey of the location every year, with the next review to take place by the end of the year.

“We do need to prioritise urgent safety works, particularly related to the issue of ash dieback disease, but we are working to improve response times where possible.

“Thank you to Cllr Staples-Jones for advocating on the resident’s behalf.”

Whether you call it an Irish goodbye, French leave or filer à l’anglaise (leave in the English style), as the French prefer, the act of quietly slipping out of a party without fanfare is a familiar social impulse. The Brazilians called it sair à francesa (French style), the Germans a Polnischer Abgang (Polish departure), and Australians call it ninja bombing. Whatever name it goes by, the concept is the same: one moment you’re there, the next you’ve vanished into the night without a drawn-out round of explanations, hugs and promises to catch up soon.

The pattern is telling: every culture has a term for it, and every culture blames someone else. That collective deflection suggests we already know, on some level, that slipping out unannounced is a social transgression.

But for those of us with anxiety, that silent exit isn’t rudeness. While etiquette traditionalists will probably insist that leaving without saying goodbye is a social no-no, some psychologists argue that it’s a coping strategy. Here’s why sneaking out without saying goodbye might be the healthiest decision you make all evening.

When you break it down – and let’s be honest, those of us who are anxious, introverted, neurodivergent or dealing with chronic illness have all broken this down into agonising detailed steps – saying goodbye is a loaded cultural ritual. It’s a performance that demands a high degree of social skill, accuracy and nuance.

Goodbyes are high-demand situations and, sadly, by the end of a social occasion, many of us are already depleted and don’t have the energy to handle all the steps involved.

For many of us, socialising can mean feeling overwhelmed, constantly monitoring how we come across, trying to fit into other people’s expectations, comparing ourselves to others and worrying about rejection. It can be exhausting to feel like you’re constantly trying to act like your best version of normal.

When socialising means constantly adapting yourself to other people’s expectations, the healthy choice becomes using your last bit of energy to recharge and take care of yourself. Don’t leave the party completely drained with nothing left to recover with.

Sometimes we want to leave quietly because leaving loudly feels like shouting out: “I matter! Look at me, I’m leaving!” The fact is, many of us sit with the belief that we don’t really matter that much, so we don’t say goodbye because we don’t feel we are worth the performance.

Sometimes a silent exit is about self-respect, minding your energy reserves, even if you really enjoyed the evening. At other times, though, it’s an act of self-erasure. You leave without saying goodbye because you think no one will care, that you don’t matter enough to make a fuss when leaving.

Leaving quietly can become a way to protect yourself from the discomfort of saying goodbye. But the quiet exit cuts both ways. Ask yourself whether leaving without a word made your life bigger – you conserved enough energy to recover and you’re glad to go back next time – or whether it shrank it, adding another reason to avoid socialising altogether.

If you are going to pick apart your goodbye and negatively assess it, the next goodbye will feel even harder. Be careful to reality-test your post-event ruminations. It’s usually not as bad as you think, especially if you are assessing your performance through the distorting lens of anxiety.

The healthiest choice of all

There is always a tension between wanting to belong and wanting to be yourself. If saying goodbye starts to feel so pressured and so performed that you lose any sense of being authentic, then the connection is starting to cost more than it’s worth.

If you feel like you need to be a chameleon to survive the complexities of socialising, the healthiest choice is to find a way to be who you really are. Find a way to tell your friends and family that leaving quietly is something you need because of how your nervous system and psychology are made, and not a reflection of the relationship. Research shows that being your truest self and having the best social connections go hand in hand.

And if you are neurodivergent, being open about what you need can feel like a risk, but it can also be a way to find acceptance, support and understanding when you let people know what you need and like.

If you’re anxious, it’s worth letting your host know in advance that you might need to slip away quietly. Otherwise, there’s a risk that people will read it the wrong way, as coldness or indifference, say.

Get ahead of it by letting people know you’ll leave without saying goodbye, and that you’re grateful to have been invited. Anxious people aren’t bad at relationships. Relationships just work better when everyone understands the other person’s needs.

Less is more

There’s a growing idea that being choosy about your social life isn’t antisocial – some psychologists call it “selective sociality”. Picking your moments carefully means you have more to give when it counts. The goal isn’t to retreat, but to invest in deeper relationships and in real presence, rather than the hollow churn of online contact – unless it supports meaningful connection.

In a world where being seen to do the right thing has begun to outweigh doing the right thing, selective sociality offers a way forward. Knowing our limits and being open about them, when possible, doesn’t weaken connection – it helps create relationships that feel real and sustainable.

If sneaking out without a fuss makes it more likely you will go to the next party, then it’s a choice for more social connection and therefore your health.