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Girls Next Door star and Playboy Playmate Karissa Shannon now unrecognizable after quitting Hollywood to start a ‘normal life’… see her now

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Karissa Shannon and her twin sister Kristina, best known as the Shannon twins, moved into the Playboy Mansion when they were just 18 and then started dating Hugh Hefner shortly after; pictured 2010

Former Playboy model and Girls Next Door star Karissa Shannon has resurfaced after quitting Hollywood for a quiet life in her home state of Michigan.

Karissa and her twin sister Kristina, best known as the Shannon twins, both moved into the Playboy Mansion when they were just 18 and then started dating Hugh Hefner shortly after.

The siblings starred on the final season of E!’s The Girls Next Door alongside Crystal Hefner, which positioned the trio as the replacements for the show’s former leading ladies, Holly Madison, Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt.

Karissa, now 36, has now left the bright lights of Los Angeles behind and moved back home to try and start a family, but she resurfaced last week to discuss her new life on Lisa Guerrero’s Unleashed podcast.

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‘I was like, you know what? Get out of the spotlight, cut the lights, cut the cameras, let me go find out where I want to live, where I can be in privacy, no one knows who I am, and live a normal life and just figure out what I want to do,’ she explained. 

‘I needed a moment to myself where I can just build on my inner self… Get healthy habits, fully detox, get away from the circle of people that I was around,’ she continued.

Karissa Shannon and her twin sister Kristina, best known as the Shannon twins, moved into the Playboy Mansion when they were just 18 and then started dating Hugh Hefner shortly after; pictured 2010

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The siblings starred on the final season of E!'s The Girls Next Door alongside Crystal Hefner, in addition to being the Playboy mogul's girlfriends; pictured 2009

The siblings starred on the final season of E!’s The Girls Next Door alongside Crystal Hefner, in addition to being the Playboy mogul’s girlfriends; pictured 2009

‘So what I want more than anything is to be a housewife, be a mother, I want to be able to give my kids what I didn’t have.’

She added, ‘I want a normal family life. I want a husband. I want to be in true love, I want real love. And I’m dating right now.’

While Karissa still boasts her signature tanned skin and platinum blonde hair, the former Playboy centerfold now looks much different than the fresh-faced teenager that fans were first introduced to on the E! Network. 

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‘She’s lost a lot of weight I hope she’s doing well and is getting not only physically healthy but emotionally and mentally with everything she’s been through,’ wrote one fan.

‘She looks great,’ commented another, while a third wrote, ‘This isn’t one of the twins… Looks nothing like her!’ 

Karissa also told Guerrero that she’s spending less time with her twin Kristina so that the siblings ‘can do their own thing’ and find their own individuality.

‘I like to be a real person and be honest and be myself and I can’t do that when I’m stuck together with somebody,’ she said.

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‘We were always pushed that in our career, to be the same person, dress alike and do the same things, but we’re really different.’

Karissa, now 36, has now left the bright lights of Los Angeles behind and moved back home to try and start a family, but she resurfaced last week to discuss her new life

Karissa, now 36, has now left the bright lights of Los Angeles behind and moved back home to try and start a family, but she resurfaced last week to discuss her new life 

The former Playboy centerfold looked unrecognizable on Lisa Guerrero's Unleashed podcast

The former Playboy centerfold looked unrecognizable on Lisa Guerrero’s Unleashed podcast

The Shannon twins are pictured posing up a storm at the Playboy Mansion in 2011

The Shannon twins are pictured posing up a storm at the Playboy Mansion in 2011

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When pressed about her time dating Hefner and living in the Playboy Mansion, Karissa said that she was never attracted to Hefner because ‘obviously he was too old’, but she admitted that she enjoyed having the millionaire take care of her. 

‘His power that he had and the brand that he had and being able to take care of me… I’ve never been taken care of, I’ve always had to take care of myself,’ she reflected.

‘I did get a lot of opportunities from being on the Girls Next Door show and from dating Hef, but also, who knows where I could have went if I would’ve went my own direction and just been a Playmate.’

The Shannon twins both spoke out against Hefner in A&E’s 12-part tell-all docuseries Secrets of Playboy back in 2022.

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Not only did they both claim to have caught chlamydia after having a threesome with Hefner on their 19th birthday, Karissa also said that she’d gotten pregnant from sleeping with Hefner, who would have been 84 at the time.

She then said that she’d had a secret abortion behind his back in order to avoid any paparazzi or unwanted media attention.

A&E noted in a statement attached to the series that ‘the vast majority of allegations have not been the subject of criminal investigations or charges, and they do not constitute proof of guilt.’ 

Karissa and Kristina moved into the Playboy Mansion in 2009 when they were just 18

Karissa and Kristina moved into the Playboy Mansion in 2009 when they were just 18

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The twin sisters shocked fans when they appeared on A&E's Secrets of Playboy docuseries in 2022

The twin sisters shocked fans when they appeared on A&E’s Secrets of Playboy docuseries in 2022

The twins, along with Crystal, are all pictured with Hefner during a night out in 2009

The twins, along with Crystal, are all pictured with Hefner during a night out in 2009

Additionally, Hefner’s ex-girlfriend Holly Madison claimed in her 2015 memoir that she and Hefner tried to conceive through fertility treatment, but that Hefner’s sperm was ‘not viable’.

When directly questioned about Karissa’s abortion story on an episode of the Juicy Scoop podcast in 2022, Madison called it ‘surprising’.

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‘I’m never gonna say that I don’t believe anybody’s story because I wasn’t there and anything can happen, but it’s surprising,’ she said.

Like many of the young women who found themselves falling into sex work, the Shannon twins had a difficult upbringing.

With an unstable upbringing, they were raised by their grandmother and lived in a trailer park for several years, dropping out of school to get jobs at a Hooters-style restaurant at just 15.

When they were 17, a photographer suggested that they take nude photos to send to Playboy — and by 18, they were flown to Miami for a test shoot, which was cut short halfway through when Hefner called to say he liked the images.

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Karissa has now quit Hollywood for a quiet life in Michigan, claiming that she needed to get away from the spotlight and her old circle of friends; pictured 2015 with Blac Chyna

Karissa has now quit Hollywood for a quiet life in Michigan, claiming that she needed to get away from the spotlight and her old circle of friends; pictured 2015 with Blac Chyna

The twins appeared on an episode of Botched in 2015

The twins appeared on an episode of Botched in 2015

They’d soon be named the July and August 2009 Playmates and were invited to live in the Playboy Mansion and to star on Girls Next Door.

The twins admitted their naiveté in accepting this offer, saying that they thought the invitation to become Hefner’s girlfriends really just meant they were being asked to be on the show. 

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They claimed on Secrets of Playboy that they believed Hefner’s image was fake and that he wasn’t actually having sex with any of the models in the mansion.

‘Hell no, you don’t think an 80-year-old man is sleeping with three of these women,’ Karissa said.

They eventually started having sex with him after turning 19, and while they claim that they hated the experience, even comparing it to ‘rape’, they didn’t want to leave the mansion and risk losing career opportunities.

‘Coming from [abuse] and our biological mom leaving, we really felt like we had to take care of our grandmother who raised us. And we didn’t want him to take away all of the success we had built. We thought he’d revoke our centerfold,’ they said.

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The twins parted ways with Hefner after E! canceled The Girls Next Door in 2010.

They remained in the spotlight for a few years after that, most notably starring on Celebrity Big Brother in the UK in 2012.

They later moved into doing hardcore pornography, shooting X-rated scenes with adult studios including Brazzers.

While Karissa has left adult entertainment behind her, her sister Kristina recently launched her own AI-generated chatbot, which is based on her likeness. 

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Kristina also has her own OnlyFans page and is based in Miami, where she continues to work as a model.  

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York McArthurGlen Designer Outlet Fraser Group change backed

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York Designer Outlet bought by Mike Ashley's Fraser Group

Plans to swap four signs at the McArthurGlen Designer Outlet for ones featuring the branding of its new owners Fraser Group PLC have been approved by City of York Council.

The outlet’s application stated the changes came as part of a rebranding exercise taking place after the sale of the site was announced earlier this year.

Council planning officers stated the new signs would not have a negative impact on public amenity or safety.

Submission of the plans in June follows the announcement that the site had been bought by Fraser Group PLC from previous owners Aviva Investors in April.

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The move also saw retail mogul Mike Ashley’s group, which also owns Sports Direct, take over the East Midlands Designer Outlet near Derby and Nottingham.

Plans for the York site, in St Nicholas Avenue, include installing four illuminated signs at the site’s north, south, east and west entrances along with two on totems.

They would bear the outlet’s new owner’s Frasers Plus name and logo.

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Council planning officers stated the new signs were based on simple designs and fitted with the scale and position of existing ones.

Plans for new signs at the West Entrance of York’s McArthurGlen Designer Outlet (Image: Fraser Group)

Officers stated: “The proposed totem advertisement will not be any more visually prominent than the existing which in turn will ensure that the visual appearance of the surrounding area is not eroded by additional advertisements.

“This proposal seeks to maintain a consistent signage design across the site.

“The fascia signs are to be located 1.6m above each entrance which accords with the scale of the existing ones and ensures they are positioned appropriately and do not dominate the shopfront.”

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Frasers Group chief executive Michael Murray said the strategic acquisitions supported their vision for the group which owns more than one fifths of the UK outlet market.

Paul Tyler, McArthurGlen’s centre manager for York, told The Press in April he did not expect the take over to affect day-to-day operations.

York’s Designer Outlet is home to more than 100 stores along with a number of food and drink outlets.

It covers an area of about 23,000 square metres, or almost 250,000 square feet, and first opened in 1998.

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O.J. Brigance, Super Bowl winner with the Ravens before battling ALS, dies at 56

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O.J. Brigance, Super Bowl winner with the Ravens before battling ALS, dies at 56

OWINGS MILLS, Md. (AP) — O.J. Brigance, who won a Super Bowl with the Baltimore Ravens before waging an unyielding battle against amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, has died. He was 56.

The Ravens announced Brigance’s death on Monday.

“We are devastated by the awful news that we have lost O.J. Brigance,” Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti said in a statement. “O.J. was a beloved legend, mentor and man to everyone who was fortunate enough to know him. He was a vibrant person who became one of the first Ravens heroes with his passionate play, including the first tackle in the 2000 Super Bowl.”

Brigance was diagnosed with ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease, in 2007. Not long after that, he and his wife, Chanda, formed the Brigance Brigade Foundation, an organization whose mission is to “equip, encourage and empower” those afflicted with ALS.

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Despite using a wheelchair and a communication device that translated his messages, Brigance served as senior adviser for player engagement with the Ravens, a job he started in 2004. In addition to assisting players in each phase of their career, Brigance proved a source of motivation within the organization.

“Every day I walk by, not just to tell him how much I love him, but to tell him that he is the one thing that lets me not complain about anything,” Ravens Hall of Fame linebacker Ray Lewis said in 2012, his final pro season. “I played with that guy. His spirit is just awesome.”

Brigance is the only player to win a Canadian Football League title and a Super Bowl championship for a team in the same city, Baltimore.

“While winning CFL and NFL championships are great personal remembrances, I wouldn’t say any of these events define me,” he said. “Rather, they are part of an accumulation of life events which catapulted me to do what God wanted me to accomplish. If you were to remove any of those events, I wouldn’t be the same person or have the position of influence. With that being said, I consider the Brigance Brigade to be the most significant achievement of my life because of my ability to touch the lives of others.”

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Brigance said his career as a professional football player — he played linebacker and on special teams — helped prepare him for the fight against ALS.

“Many people think football is all about strength and physical ability,” Brigance said in a 2012 interview with The Associated Press. “While these are integral parts of one’s success, the fortitude, discipline and the desire necessary to play the sport are characteristics that are readily transferrable to everyday life.”

Brigance didn’t set out to be an example of how to live under difficult circumstances, but he had no intention of letting ALS get him down. He and Chanda collaborated to help and encourage others with the disease.

“I have found that when adversity strikes, there is a decision to be made. We chose to respond and continue to live, and also help others living with ALS to respond also,” he said. “We have found that we have been a great encouragement not only to those within the ALS community, but to people in all walks of life.”

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Orenthial James Brigance was born Sept. 29, 1969 and played in college at Rice in his hometown of Houston. He began his professional career in 1991 as a linebacker for the British Columbia Lions. He played three seasons with BC, making 20 sacks in 1993, before joining the Baltimore Stallions. In his second season in Baltimore, the team won the 1995 Grey Cup.

In 1996, Brigance was signed by the Miami Dolphins as a free agent. He was twice voted a team captain during his four seasons there and was the Ed Block Courage Award recipient in 1999. He was honored with the NFL Players Association’s “Unsung Hero Award” that same season.

Brigance’s lone season with Baltimore was 2000. He had a team-high 10 tackles on special teams during Baltimore’s playoff run, which ended with a 34-7 win over the New York Giants in the Super Bowl.

Brigance played for the St. Louis Rams in 2001 and 2002, and his final game was with New England in 2002.

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“I am devastated and at a loss for words. O.J. was one of the most genuine, sincere people I have ever known,” Ravens executive vice president Ozzie Newsome said. “From the moment he arrived in Baltimore, you could feel his energy. His amazing smile, welcoming nature and infectious personality made everyone around him feel like family.”

And his tenacity would serve him well long after his playing days ended.

___

See AP’s full NFL coverage here

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‘No signs of foul play’ relating to Hayden Panettiere’s death, police say

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‘No signs of foul play’ relating to Hayden Panettiere’s death, police say

A statement from Greenville police department said: “On August 16, 2026, at approximately 1.51pm, officers from the Greenville police department, accompanied by EMS personnel, responded to a report of an unresponsive female at Judson Mill Lofts, located at 701 Easley Bridge Road.

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Inside Hayden Panettiere’s toxic romance with Brian Hickerson: Her haunting words about the bloody beatings… and why she kept going back before fateful last trip with him

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Hayden Panettiere and Brian Hickerson are pictured together in December 2018, within months of beginning their relationship. She was found dead on Sunday in his home state of South Carolina

It was the summer of 2018 and Hayden Panettiere was newly single, recently out of rehab, and hoping to make a fresh start.

Her ex-fiance, Ukrainian boxer Wladimir Klitschko, had obtained in 2018 full custody of their three-year-old daughter Kaya – Panettiere’s postnatal depression and alcoholism made motherhood an impossible struggle.

So Panettiere’s brother Jansen, five years her junior, suggested they go out in West Hollywood and have a good time.

It was then, in the wildly popular gay bar The Abbey, that Panettiere met a man who would change the course of her life – Brian Hickerson.

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Hickerson, an aspiring actor and real estate agent from South Carolina, swept Panettiere off her feet ‘at lightning speed’, she writes in her memoir, which was published in May.

Within weeks they were living together at her Los Angeles home – dancing in her living room, redecorating, playing board games and watching ‘practically every Netflix series ever made’.

‘I finally began to feel beautiful again,’ she wrote, praising his smile and sense of humor. ‘I also started to feel safe, loved and cherished. It was like Brian and I were two best friends living together under one roof.’

But for all its blissful beginnings, the relationship was ultimately violent and tempestuous.

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Hayden Panettiere and Brian Hickerson are pictured together in December 2018, within months of beginning their relationship. She was found dead on Sunday in his home state of South Carolina

Hickerson is seen in his Wyoming mugshot, after his arrest in the early hours of Valentine's Day in 2020

Hickerson is seen in his Wyoming mugshot, after his arrest in the early hours of Valentine’s Day in 2020

He was arrested and charged with domestic violence in 2019 and in 2020 – the final incident saw him sentenced to 45 days in jail.

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The troubles did not end there: in May 2022 the pair had a wild fight inside the bar of the Sunset Marquis hotel in LA, and Hickerson was photographed being restrained by a bystander, seemingly missing a shoe. Panettiere was reportedly overheard yelling: ‘Brian, jail!’ – a reminder that he was still on probation.

They split, seemingly for good, in July 2022.

She recalled in excruciating detail the beatings in her memoir, and he, on publication, owned his past behavior, calling the book an essential read.

Then they appeared to reconcile.

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On Saturday, Panettiere and Hickerson flew from LA to South Carolina.

On Sunday, she was found dead at an apartment in Greenville, after ‘an unidentified acquaintance’ called 911 to report ‘a potential overdose’, according to audio of the call obtained by People.

The Greenville County Coroner’s Office has completed the star’s autopsy, with the coroner telling Page Six that ‘no signs of trauma were discovered that would have contributed to the death.’

The cause and exact manner of her death remain under investigation.

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It’s not known whether he was in the apartment at the time. Hickerson, approached by the Daily Mail, is yet to comment.

It’s also not known how the pair resumed their relationship, and indeed whether it was romantic or just friendship. TMZ reported Monday that, per a source, Panettiere and Hickerson were together while she promoted her memoir, only keeping their relationship a secret to protect her career.

But perhaps the airing of all the dirty laundry, in horrific detail, had allowed them to move on. And certainly the book paints an uncomfortable picture.

It’s not clear when exactly the abuse began, between the summer of 2018 and spring of 2019: Panettiere does not give a date.

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Instead she describes a horrific scene when, after a bottle of wine each and several vodkas, their evening becomes hellish.

‘I say something I regret,’ she wrote. ‘A chair scrapes against the floor, and Brian stands up, all six feet of him. He leans toward my face and screams: “What is wrong with you?”

‘I flinch, and he keeps screaming.’

She described a terrifying tussle with a paring knife, before a wine glass crashes to the floor and Hickerson hits her for the first time.

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‘I hear it before I feel it,’ she wrote. ‘The unmistakable sound of an open-hand slap. Then there’s burning on my cheek, like I’m on fire. There’s ringing in my head. There’s silence.’

Panettiere and Hickerson were both registered as living in this Los Angeles building

Panettiere and Hickerson were both registered as living in this Los Angeles building

Panettiere on one of her last public outings on June 2026. She was in New York City to promote her memoir

Panettiere on one of her last public outings on June 2026. She was in New York City to promote her memoir 

Nothing was ever said about that first slap. But, soon, she wrote, the slaps became punches. She also punched him too, she admitted – joking, with gallows humor, that time spent watching boxing with her ex came in useful.

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‘One night he busts up my face so badly I don’t leave the house for weeks,’ she wrote.

‘Another day he screams at me to run as far as I can in five seconds because I’ll need a head start before he throws the remote control at me. This is a man who doesn’t miss, I think.

‘And he doesn’t. The remote control hits my face like it’s been thrown by a minor league pitcher.’

She fought back: ‘All that boxing I watched paid off,’ she wrote.

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But she is no match for him.

‘Punches rain down, hard,’ she wrote of a May 2019 incident.

‘My head hits the wall, and he’s straddling me, pinning me down using all his weight.

‘Why did you hit yourself?’ he screams as I struggle under him. ‘You’re all bruised, why did you do that to yourself?’

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Terrified, she escapes and runs to the car – where she keeps a bottle of water in the glove compartment ‘for times like this.’

Neighbors called 911 and Hickerson was charged with domestic assault, but pleads not guilty.

Panettiere and Hickerson in happier times in a photo he shared on Instagram before turning his social media dark

Panettiere and Hickerson in happier times in a photo he shared on Instagram before turning his social media dark 

Panettiere and Hickerson are seen in January 2019 in Los Angeles

Panettiere and Hickerson are seen in January 2019 in Los Angeles

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Hayden Panettiere seen with bruises on her arms in 2022. She and Hickerson had been involved in a scuffle outside a hotel

Hayden Panettiere seen with bruises on her arms in 2022. She and Hickerson had been involved in a scuffle outside a hotel 

Despite

Despite 

‘He argues that I was the one hitting myself – not him – and he’d in fact recorded himself saying: ‘Why did you hit yourself?’ as I fully lost control.’

He was initially ordered to stay 100 yards away from her, but Panettiere accepted his apologies – he claimed to have no memory of the fight – and the charges were dropped in September 2019.

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In November 2019, a Hickerson family source told Us Weekly that his family were troubled by their relationship.

‘Brian’s family is extremely concerned for his safety when he is with Hayden,’ the source said. ‘They are terrified that Brian will once again find himself accused of domestic violence. Hayden and Brian are very toxic for each other.’

And so it proved.

The following year, in February 2020, the pair traveled to Jackson, Wyoming, for Valentine’s Day.

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After another night of drinking, she wrote that, once more, their ‘playful banter’ turned toxic, and, she claimed, Hickerson pushed her up against a wall.

‘I felt my head snap back and smash into the wall, and a sharp pain shot down into my back. I braced my body to absorb the shock, then I closed my eyes.

‘Clap. Brian slapped me hard, and a familiar sting radiated out from my cheek and across my entire body.’

Again, neighbors called the police and Hickerson was arrested.

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She wrote that, in the days immediately following their fight, she was determined to end the relationship, and the ‘toxic waste dump we’d found ourselves swimming in.’

A Wyoming police report from the time noted ‘a fresh scrape and swelling on the top of her left hand which she believed came from Hickerson’s watch during the altercation.’

She tried once more to stay away from him and added, in the memoir: ‘I knew that if Brian laid his hands on me one more time, and I caught him off guard, I might kill him in self-defense… that was a chance I just couldn’t take.’

In July of that year she obtained a restraining order against him, writing on July 17, 2020 that she hoped others would be inspired by her to walk away from abusive partners.

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‘I am coming forward with the truth about what happened to me with the hope that my story will empower others in abusive relationships to get the help they need and deserve,’ she wrote on Instagram.

‘I am prepared to do my part to make sure this man never hurts anyone again. I’m grateful for my support system, which helped me find the courage to regain my voice and my life.’

Panettiere in her memoir, years later, wrote that she still loved Hickerson, and the man he was, when he wasn’t ‘raging.’

Hickerson was charged in July 2020 with four domestic assault felonies, one misdemeanor count of battery, two felony counts of assault with a deadly weapon, and one felony count of dissuading a witness from prosecuting a crime.

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The charges covered the period from May 2019 to July 2020.

Panettiere, a child star, is pictured in September 2012

Panettiere, a child star, is pictured in September 2012

In April 2021 he accepted a plea deal, pleading no contest to two felony counts of injuring a spouse or girlfriend.

The remaining six counts were dismissed.

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He was sentenced to 45 days in jail and four years’ probation, plus $500 in fines and mandatory domestic violence classes. In May 2021 he surrendered to serve his sentence, spending 19 days behind bars.

Panettiere insisted she only wanted him to be in jail long enough to get scared.

‘I didn’t want to traumatize him in an irreversible way,’ she wrote. ‘So I decided to do what I wish others would do for me. I decided to let go of my resentment and try to forgive Brian.’

Yet time behind bars did not have the desired effect, and soon they were back to their old ways.

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By May 2022 they were evidently back together, drinking at the Sunset Marquis when yet another violent altercation ensued – which saw Panettiere warn Hickerson that he was still on probation.

She separated from him once more in July 2022.

Hickerson, in May this year, when the book was published, heaped praise on her and said her account was true.

He even told TMZ he still hoped to marry her.

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‘I hope so, [but] she probably doesn’t think the same way,’ the 37-year-old said. ‘I think Hayden is one of most talented people I’ve ever met in my life, and I would be an idiot not to walk away from her and let her flourish in her career.’

Panettiere, asked by TMZ about his wish to marry her, laughed as she walked through an airport and replied: ‘I don’t think that’s going to happen.’

Yet Hickerson was effusive in his praise of her memoir.

‘Hayden’s book’s incredible. I think it’s great,’ he said. ‘I think everyone should read it. I mean, the domestic violence stuff – my chapter – everybody should read it.’

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He added: ‘You got to be vulnerable and, you know, I did it. I did it.’

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How to divorce-proof your getaway: The six holiday red flags that could signal the end of your marriage and what you MUST say before you go that could save it, by sex and relationship therapist NATASHA SILVERMAN

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Sex and relationship therapist Natasha Silverman says she often speaks with clients who dread going on holiday with their partner

Summer holidays come with an awful lot of expectations. They’re expensive, precious and often represent the one chance to spend uninterrupted time together.

We imagine we’ll reconnect, have meaningful conversations, enjoy great sex and come home feeling closer than ever.

But holidays can also be surprisingly stressful for couples. I often hear from clients who are filled with dread at the prospect of a holiday. Not because they’re worried about flying or packing, but because they don’t want to spend that amount of time with their partner.

If you’re already feeling turned off by them, irritated by them, or simply desperate for space, the thought of being together for ten days or two weeks can feel unbearable.

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When you know deep down that your relationship isn’t working, a holiday can make that impossible to ignore. In fact, I see a lot of separations happen either in the weeks leading up to a holiday or immediately afterwards.

That’s because for much of the year, work, routines, children, separate social lives and everyday distractions mask what’s really going on between you. Then suddenly you’re together round the clock. The forced intimacy can leave people re-evaluating their marriage.

And yes, sometimes when couples feel stuck, they might need professional help, but the role of therapy is not to trap people in relationships that aren’t working. If clients really feel averse to spending any time with their partner, they sometimes come to therapy for permission to walk away, and that’s OK.

But if you’re not ready to call time on your relationship – and don’t want to ditch your two weeks in the sun – here are some of the biggest holiday flashpoints I see in the therapy room – and how you can avoid them…

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Sex and relationship therapist Natasha Silverman says she often speaks with clients who dread going on holiday with their partner

Natasha says spending a little time apart on holiday can be healthy and help couples fulfil their own needs

Natasha says spending a little time apart on holiday can be healthy and help couples fulfil their own needs

One wants to trek… one fly and flop

This is one of the most common holiday arguments I encounter.

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I see couples place a lot of weight on having the perfect break, but the difficulty is that ‘perfect’ can mean something very different to each partner.

One of you wants adventure, activity and novelty. The other wants a sun lounger, a book and absolutely no obligations.

The mistake couples make is thinking they’re arguing about the destination. What they’re really talking about is how their needs can be met in the relationship.

I see more burnout than ever before. Many clients spend their lives giving, working and coping. The thought of a hike up to a hilltop village feels like yet another task. Others spend all year behind a desk and desperately need stimulation and excitement to unwind.

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Solution: No matter how compatible a couple is, we are individuals with our own needs, desires, dislikes and boundaries. We will never match up completely – nor should we. Before you go away, think about what you expect and want from the trip. Think about previous holidays too. What worked? What didn’t? Where did resentment creep in? Then talk honestly.

I encourage clients to avoid criticism and instead focus on communicating their feelings and needs. I also suggest giving themselves permission to spend at least 20 per cent of the time meeting their own needs separately and guilt-free. That might look like a hot-stone massage while their partner enjoys a hike.

They’re glued to their phone

Many couples hope a holiday will finally provide quality time together. Then one partner spends the entire time scrolling, answering emails, disappearing into work or their social media.

When somebody is always on their device, I wonder what function that behaviour serves. It can be a sign of a dysregulated nervous system, where they use their phone to numb or soothe themselves, or to avoid being present.

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If somebody continually chooses their phone over being present with you, it can leave you feeling lonely even when you¿re together, says Natasha

If somebody continually chooses their phone over being present with you, it can leave you feeling lonely even when you’re together, says Natasha 

Sometimes work becomes an excuse. They tell themselves it’s important – and perhaps some of it genuinely is – but to the partner sitting beside them, it can feel incredibly rejecting. If somebody continually chooses their phone over being present with you, it can leave you feeling lonely even when you’re together.

Solution: I often ask couples: ‘When you get home from your holiday, what would make you say you got exactly what you needed?’ That’s a useful question to prepare for a trip, especially if this issue has come up before.

It’s usually easier to discuss these things before you go, rather than being perceived as ‘nagging’ on holiday. Maybe suggest times you can be phone-free, and other times when you can check in on emails, if that’s truly necessary. 

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They don’t pull their weight

One child’s having a tantrum over ice cream, the other needs their armbands blown up. Their father? On a sun lounger, headphones on, buried in a thriller.

I hear this complaint constantly, particularly from women: ‘He did not help me with the kids at all. He was useless.’

Often, they had convinced themselves their partner’s lack of involvement at home was because work was demanding. Then they go away together and realise it isn’t that they’re busy. It’s that they don’t want to share parenting. For some, that realisation becomes the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

He may say he didn’t notice or ‘I thought you were managing fine without me’, but the fact a partner can see you’re struggling and you feel he doesn’t care enough to help can be deeply hurtful.

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Solution: Rather than say, ‘You never help with the children’, try, ‘When I’m managing everything with the children on holiday, I feel unseen, overwhelmed and like I’m doing it by myself.’

It’s also important to be specific. Tell your partner exactly what you need from them. Many people resist this because they think, ‘Why should I have to spell it out? I’m not their parent.’ But sometimes that’s exactly what you need to do. You can also discuss booking a kids’ club, or a babysitter if you’d both like a break.

Couples who navigate holidays successfully are usually the ones who can communicate effectively both beforehand and on holiday, and work out ways to ensure both partners feel considered.

You feel lonely in paradise

The air is soft, the night is young, and you’ve been chatting away to your partner. Their response? ‘Sorry, did you say something?’

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One of the most painful complaints I hear is from people who feel their partner has very little interest in what they have to say.

They won’t maintain eye contact when talking about feelings and seem uninterested in their partner’s inner world.

It’s natural to hope that with time alone together in a beautiful place, things will be different. But with an avoidant, disconnected partner, that’s not likely.

Even harder is when that same partner suddenly becomes highly engaged when they want sex. For many, that combination is a relationship killer.

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Solution: If you come home feeling just as lonely, unseen, rejected or disconnected as when you left, only with a great tan, it’s likely the problem isn’t the holiday at all, but the relationship.

Counselling can help but only if both parties are willing to do the work.

Holiday sex becomes a battleground

For one partner, holiday sex might seem like the perfect way to let go and relax without life’s pressures getting in the way. For the other, it might seem like yet more caretaking – the very thing they are trying to escape.

The expectation of intimacy can act as a wet flannel on desire.

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One partner may resentfully give in to duty sex, while the higher-desire partner, who thought sun, sea and sangria would allow sex to flourish, feels deeply rejected. At this point couples start to realise, ‘It’s not our routine, is it? It’s us’ – and this can feel really destabilising.

Solution: One of the most effective things couples can do is remove the expectation entirely.

Touch your partner simply to be close to them. Stroke their hair. Hold their hand. Tell them, ‘This isn’t going anywhere. I just want to be close to you.’

Research tells us that people who have new experiences together have a better sex life.

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When somebody no longer feels pressured, they have space to ask themselves what they want. And relaxed, tanned, with a cocktail in their hand, that may well be sex.

Friends and family always come first

There’s nothing wrong with group holidays or wanting family around. The question is whether friends and family are a strategy to avoid spending time alone as a couple. Wanting couple time is healthy, but if the idea of your partner wanting others there makes you feel rejected, or like you aren’t ‘enough’, that may be worth paying attention to.

Solution: There’s plenty of room for compromise here. Discuss how you can both get your needs met, even in small moments. For example, if his family are coming along, can you go for dinner alone one or two nights?

You might suggest booking another break with just the two of you, or a weekend away with friends. However, if only one person consistently gets what they want, the power dynamic isn’t equal. If you find yourself giving in and repressing your feelings, don’t ignore that.

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As told to Leah Hardy

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Best hair masks 2026 for dry, damaged locks, tried and tested

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Best hair masks 2026 for dry, damaged locks, tried and tested

What we love: The delightful signature Monday scent, incredible value for money, and good for hair that tends to get knotty and tangled

Take note: Contains keratin, so don’t overuse the hair treatment – especially if you have sensitive locks

The affordable haircare brand has gone viral for delivering results without costing the earth, and the deep moisture mask really impressed me. I was pleased with how soft and supple my hair felt thanks to the keratin formula and noticed that the back of my locks, which tend to tangle by the end of the day, stayed virtually smooth and knot-free.

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There’s a reason the brand counts Gracie Abrams and Addison Rae among its fans: it’s very satisfying to be able to get solid, good results from a high street product. Don’t let the budget-friendly vibe fool you, though; its clean formulas are dermatologically tested, pH balanced, contain ethically sourced natural extracts and are not tested on animals.

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Jason Arday’s family ‘still coming to terms’ with his death as supporters attend vigil

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A crowd of people gather in Trafalgar Square as part of a vigil for Jason Arday. Some of them are holding placards.

Lord Simon Woolley, principal of Homerton College at the University of Cambridge, told the vigil that when he met with Arday last week, the academic told him he felt that critics were “hounding me to death”.

Filmmaker and activist Misan Harriman told the vigil: “The legacy media crossed every line in the treatment of Jason.

“Imagine being so lost in the business of cruelty that you relish hurting another human for sport, with your own poison pen.”

He added: “Jason should still be here today.”

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Arday, 41, was found dead at an address in south London, on 14 August, two days after Cambridge said it would investigate the circumstances around his appointment.

He had resigned as a Cambridge professor of sociology of education on 5 August, after the university said it would look into claims about his career.

Arday said his resignation should not “be mistaken for an acceptance of the narratives that have surrounded me”.

Monday’s vigil came as more than 90,000 people signed a Good Law Project petition seeking an inquiry into media coverage of Arday.

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Earlier, Cambridge University’s chancellor criticised the “racist feeding frenzy” around Arday in the weeks before his death.

Speaking publicly for the first time on the row, Lord Chris Smith said academic integrity could be upheld while questioning Arday’s treatment.

In a statement, he said: “I do believe it is possible to hold to two principles at the same time: to believe in the importance of academic integrity, and where criticisms of plagiarism arise, about any academic, whoever they are, ensure that they are rigorously investigated.

“And also to refuse to join in a racist feeding frenzy over a particular academic.”

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Barry-Murphy goes wild and jumps into crowd as Cardiff City boss given new name

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Wales Online

Cardiff’s manager couldn’t contain himself after the equaliser went in in the 1-1 draw with Wrexham

Cardiff City manager Brian Barry-Murphy couldn’t hide his delight following Rubin Colwill’s injury-time equaliser against Wrexham – jumping into the crowd to celebrate.

In the Bluebirds’ first game back in the Championship, they trailed to the north Walians with the clock in the red. Phil Parkinson’s men had taken a very early lead through Kieffer Moore on the night and looked the more composed team during the first 45 minutes.

But the hosts grew into the game, and the introduction of Rubin and his brother Joel seemed to change the match, with the Red Dragons the ones holding on as the clocked ticked down.

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And when the younger Colwill was brought down on the edge of the box with 96 minutes gone, Cardiff had one last opportunity to level matters.

Up stepped Rubin Colwill, who struck a free-kick into the top corner.

That prompted bedlam, with the Cardiff players jumping into the stands and Barry-Murphy striding down the touchline and joining his charges in the crowd. Join the Cardiff City breaking news and top stories WhatsApp community.

That prompted Sky Sports commentators Gary Weaver to call the Irishman “Brian Barry-Mourinho”, in reference to Jose Mourinho’s famous celebration at Old Trafford while Porto manager.

Asked post-match about the chaotic scenes, the head coach confirmed he had been booked for leaving his technical area and played the celebration down.

“No, no, no. I don’t want to be paying any fines. I was a bit embarrassed,” he said.

On Rubin, Barry-Murphy told Sky Sports: “We’re pretty stretched at the moment and Rubin’s not fully fit, he’s only had two days of training.

“He’s a very skilful player and a very unpredictable player.

“When you talk about formations or structure, he’s a little bit unstructured which is a good thing from our point of view, because he makes the games difficult for the opponents to predict.”

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How easy it is to hack a plane: Attackers could take over a Boeing 737 in less than a minute – using a device the size of a 10p coin, study warns

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The idea of someone hacking a plane in less than a minute might sound like the plot from an unrealistic Hollywood blockbuster. But a terrifying new study has revealed how this could be achieved, using a device the size of a 10p coin

The idea of someone hacking a plane in less than a minute might sound like the plot from an unrealistic Hollywood blockbuster. 

But a terrifying new study has revealed how this could be achieved, using a device the size of a 10p coin. 

Scientists from the University of California San Diego have developed a custom hardware device that can take over the communications between two key onboard computers. 

One computer is the flight management computer, while the other is the computer that displays this flight path information in the cockpit.

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To take over these crucial systems, all hackers would need to do is plug the device into a port inside the plane’s belly. 

According to the researchers, an attack of this sort would take less than 60 seconds to carry out on a Boeing 737 either parked at a gate or in an airport hangar.

‘We believe we have made a strong case that time–limited physical access (e.g., 60 seconds) represents a realistic goal for a motivated attacker,’ the researchers said.

‘The consequences of even such short access can be significant (and hence worthy of attention).’

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The idea of someone hacking a plane in less than a minute might sound like the plot from an unrealistic Hollywood blockbuster. But a terrifying new study has revealed how this could be achieved, using a device the size of a 10p coin

Typically, physical access to an aircraft is not considered a major cybersecurity risk. 

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However, in their new study, the team set out to understand whether or not an attacker with physical access to a plane could exploit its systems.

‘Our goal with this research is to alert the aviation community to this class of risks, so they may be appropriately mitigated well before they become dangerous,’ said Aaron Schulman, one of the senior authors of the work.

While studying a Boeing 737, the team discovered an unused maintenance port in the plane’s Electonics and Equipment (E&E) bay, which houses key electronic systems. 

The bay can be found under the plane’s nose – and crucially, it can be reached from the ground, and isn’t locked. 

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‘What we found in our work, is that there’s a plug that is deep in the E&E bay, that if you open the door, and get inside, you can then touch from the ground,’ Mr Schulman explained.

‘And if you attach something to that plug, it actually gives you full control over the entire flight management computer.’

This port contains two ‘buses’ – communications systems that carry information and instructions between the flight management computer and the computer displaying the flight path information.

Scientists from the University of California, San Diego, have developed a custom hardware device that can take over the communications between two key onboard computers. One computer is the flight management computer, while the other is the computer that displays this flight path information in the cockpit

Scientists from the University of California, San Diego, have developed a custom hardware device that can take over the communications between two key onboard computers. One computer is the flight management computer, while the other is the computer that displays this flight path information in the cockpit

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While studying a Boeing 737, the team discovered an unused maintenance port in the plane's Electonics and Equipment (E&E) bay, which houses key electronic systems. The bay can be found under the plane's nose ¿ and crucially, it can be reached from the ground, and isn't locked

While studying a Boeing 737, the team discovered an unused maintenance port in the plane’s Electonics and Equipment (E&E) bay, which houses key electronic systems. The bay can be found under the plane’s nose – and crucially, it can be reached from the ground, and isn’t locked

These buses, called ARINC 429, operate on decades–old systems – and lack any modern security features.

For that reason, it was fairly simple for the researchers to design and build a small hardware device to take over the buses.

In simple terms, the device sends out a strong signal that can overpower genuine transmissions.

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This allows it to secretly send new instructions to the plane’s computers while hiding the fact that anything has been changed.

During a demonstration, the team showed that the implant could reroute a plane in flight, or modify key data about weight, balance and temperature – which could lead to an unsafe takeoff.

‘The pilot doesn’t have any knowledge that something is going on,’ Mr Schulman said.

‘So it’s a very covert and inconspicuous type of control that you can have with this kind of attack.’

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The researchers decided to focus on the Boeing 737, as it is one of the most used aircraft in the world.

However, before you panic about your next holiday, the researchers reassure that their hacking device is staying under lock and key.

Mr Schulman added: ‘All of the authors of this paper routinely travel on Boeing 737 aircraft and expect to continue doing so.’

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Sisters and boy, seven, were on their way to Dublin Airport for wedding in Britain when BMW carrying ‘masked teens’ ploughed into them head on – killing all five

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Three sisters and a seven-year-old boy had been travelling to Dublin Airport ahead of a family wedding in the UK when they were seriously injured in a head-on collision with a BMA

Three sisters and a seven-year-old boy were on their way to Dublin Airport ahead of a family wedding in Britain when they were seriously injured in a head-on collision. 

Alma and Niamh Kinsella, in their 30s, their younger sister Ella Hendricken, in her 20s, and her nephew were travelling in a Hyundai on the M9 in County Kildare when the horrific crash occurred on Sunday morning. 

Their vehicle collided head-on with a high-powered BMW, which was allegedly stolen, driving southbound on the northbound carriageway shortly after 3am. 

All five of the teenage boys – reportedly aged between 15 and 17 – travelling in the BMW died and were today identified on social media as Kamil Pustkowski, Joe Carthy, Jeremy O’Brien, Alex McCarthy and Jack Kennedy.

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The four family members riding in the other vehicle all remain in hospital. Alma and Niamh are said to be in a critical condition, while their younger sister and nephew are receiving treatment for serious injuries. 

Alma and Niamh are thought to have been sat in the car’s two front seats when the crash occurred, with Ella sat beside her nephew in the back. 

All four of the family are from the Carlow area of south-east Ireland and had been making their way to the airport to attend a wedding in England. 

Father Tom Little, from a parish in Carlow, said today that the family of those who suffered injuries are ‘bereft with sadness’.

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Three sisters and a seven-year-old boy had been travelling to Dublin Airport ahead of a family wedding in the UK when they were seriously injured in a head-on collision with a BMA 

Alex McCarthy was one of the five boys who died in the collision in County Kildare on Sunday morning

Alex McCarthy was one of the five boys who died in the collision in County Kildare on Sunday morning

Joey Carthy also died in the crash on the M9 motorway

Joey Carthy also died in the crash on the M9 motorway

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Jeremy O'Brien was one of five teenagers to lose his life in the collision

Jeremy O’Brien was one of five teenagers to lose his life in the collision 

Kamil Pustowski was one of five teenagers to die in the collision

Kamil Pustowski was one of five teenagers to die in the collision

Jack Kennedy was the fifth teenage boy to lose his life in the crash yesterday

Jack Kennedy was the fifth teenage boy to lose his life in the crash yesterday 

He told the Irish Times: ‘It is a terrible, sad event. It’s very hard to comprehend what’s happened. Everybody is hoping that those that are injured will make a full recovery.’ 

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It emerged earlier on Monday that the five youngsters who passed away may have stolen the BMW which later crashed.

The vehicle had been spotted in several areas near Kildare and County Carlow before the smash happened – and police are trying to verify whether the boys are part of the ‘Lucky Dip’ burglary and car theft gang in Dublin.

It is also being probed whether they were part of a number of attempted robberies of cars in the same region over the course of the night. All five of the dead were masked when the gardaí came upon the grisly scene. 

Post-mortem examinations will soon be carried out to establish a cause of death.  

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The Garda Representative Association (GRA) said its members were ‘all in shock’ after the ‘horrific incident’.

GRA vice-president John Joe O’Connell said: ‘This involved a stolen BMW that drove – trying to evade gardaí – the wrong way down the M9 and then a head-on collision occurred with this car of a family heading to Dublin Airport on holiday for a few days.’

Mr O’Connell explained the BMW had earlier failed to stop for gardaí and that it was his understanding that an instruction was given not to pursue the vehicle as it travelled the wrong way down the M9.

Asked if this was normal, he told RTÉ’s Morning Ireland radio programme: ‘It would be standard practice, and the command and control centre would be dictating what happens in a live environment – but the members in the cars have to make a split-second decision.’

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Mr O’Connell said there were ‘numerous gangs’ of boys and young men ‘trying to outdo each other’ in social media videos depicting interactions with Gardaí, pursuits and wrong-way driving.

‘Our members are not going to follow down that route – we’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t, that way,’ he said.

The Kildare-based representative said the GRA did not ‘know what the exact answer is’ to address the problem, but added: ‘There’s not one member of An Garda Síochána [the national police] trained in pursuit – never mind in dealing with cars going down the wrong way.’

Mr O’Connell said gardaí also face internal sanctions, discipline and possible criminal offences when they decide to chase in pursuits. He said gardaí cars have also been rammed by stolen vehicles. 

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Mr O’Connell said there was a need to ‘look at the sentences’ when these cases come before the courts, as he criticised those partaking in wrong-way driving as ‘playing Russian roulette with their lives and everyone else’s lives’.

He urged parents to talk to their sons about the potential consequences of getting into a stolen car ‘for the craic and the clicks’.

Friends and family took to social media in the aftermath of the crash to pay tribute to the teenagers who lost their lives. 

The scene on the M9 after a BMW smashed into the Hyundai on the M9 motorway

The scene on the M9 after a BMW smashed into the Hyundai on the M9 motorway

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In a social media post, a cousin of Joe Carthy and Alex McCarthy said: ‘Rest in peace to my two cousins Alex and Joey.

‘May you get a best bed in heaven, watch over your mother and father and brothers and sisters at this hard time. Left away to soon.’

In a separate post, she added: ‘God give your family the strength to get through this difficult time.’

Sharing pictures of Carthy wearing a balaclava, another cousin said: ‘Never in a million years would I ever (have) thought it would come to this Joe.

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‘The thought of us never seeing you again. No matter where you were, you always put a smile on anyone’s face. Forever 15, my cousin.’

Meanwhile, a family friend said of Carthy: ‘Only a baby with his whole life ahead of him, most mannered little boy you were Joey.

‘Too good for this big cruel world, watch over my James he’s heartbroken over you. Your poor father and mother, Joey.

‘Please God give them this strength to get through this. Rest easy champ.’

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A friend of Kamil Pustowski wrote: ‘My heart is broken, you’re gonna be missed so much by everyone. Rest in paradise, God is going to give you the best bed up there.’

A cousin of Jeremy O’Brien said: ‘RIP to my cousin. (He) was like a brother. (May) God give you the bed in heaven, you’ll be missed.’

Garda Commissioner Justin Kelly has described the head-on collision between junctions three and four as ‘horrific’ and warned that ‘in some cases’ vehicles are being driven on the wrong side of motorways for social media likes.

The previous weekend, nine people were injured in a head-on collision on the M50 in Dublin with a car travelling in the wrong direction on the motorway.

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