Food additives used to boost flavour in apple juice, yoghurts and red wine could hold the secret to treating lymphoedema – severe swelling in the arms and legs.

Research published in the journal Nature found that the compounds, called cyclodextrins, may be able to reverse the swelling.

The findings, based on animal studies, could potentially improve the lives of up to 450,000 people in the UK who live with the condition, many as a result of treatment for cancer.

For example, about one in five people will develop lymphoedema in their arm following breast cancer treatment, such as surgery to remove lymph nodes or radiotherapy to clear cancer cells. 

Lymph nodes are bean-shaped structures located all around the body that filter waste from lymph fluid, which is formed of liquid and waste produced by tissues.

The nodes clean the fluid carried in the lymphatic vessels before it joins the bloodstream.

But the nodes are also often the first place cancer cells migrate to when they develop in nearby tissues such as those in the breast, head or neck, before travelling on to other vital organs such as the lungs. 

Surgically removing the nodes – to reduce the risk of cancer spreading – or treating them with radiotherapy can damage and cause blockages in the lymph system, leading to a chronic build-up of lymph fluid, causing swelling – sometimes so severe it can make simple tasks such as getting dressed or finding clothes to fit extremely difficult.

Research suggests the impact on quality of life can be considerable.

Treatment options are limited. Patients are initially told to try compression sleeves or stockings on their swollen limbs.

But these must be worn daily and can cause skin irritation and itching which may be uncomfortable and also restrict movement.

Another option is a type of massage, manual lymphatic drainage, which patients can do themselves. This needs to be done regularly to have good results.

Surgery to ‘replumb’ lymphatic vessels so fluid does not build up is available on the NHS, although at around £15,000 the procedure is used sparingly. Likewise, liposuction – where excess fluid and fat is broken up using lasers or high-frequency sound waves, before being sucked out by a machine – may help but is not widely available on the NHS.

The latest study, by scientists at the National University of Singapore, suggests there is a cheaper and more practical solution.

The researchers focused on cyclodextrin, which forms from starch, which for years has been used throughout the food and drink industries to improve the smell and taste of numerous products.

This is because it has a unique cellular structure which means it can ‘trap’ unwanted odours in foods and drinks that might sour the overall flavour and experience.

Professor Kefah Mokbel, a consultant breast surgeon at the London Breast Institute, said the findings open a ‘new therapeutic avenue’

Crucially, cyclodextrin is also widely used to remove cholesterol from dairy products such as cheese and butter to produce low-fat versions. It does this by encapsulating cholesterol crystals inside its hollow interior and then attracting water to flush them away.

This is significant because when the Singapore team analysed skin tissue from women with lymphoedema who were having treatment for breast cancer, they found that reduced lymphatic flow was associated with large amounts of cholesterol accumulating in surrounding tissue.

Lymphatic vessels transport cholesterol from the tissues back to the bloodstream. But this study showed a build-up of cholesterol in the surrounding tissues plays an active part in causing lymphoedema. This cholesterol was found to be causing inflammation and scarring to the vessels which also blocked the normal flow of lymph.

The next step was to see if cyclodextrin’s cholesterol-lowering powers could alleviate this swelling.

The researchers treated mice that had lymphoedema by injecting cyclodextrin into the affected area regularly over eight weeks.

The results showed it significantly reduced the swelling and inflammation – but as a bonus, researchers also found that cyclodextrin appeared to help regenerate the damaged lymphatic vessels, leading to a gradual reversal of the symptoms.

Babak Mehrara, chief of the plastic and reconstructive surgery service at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York, who wrote a review of the recent study for Nature, said: ‘Lymphoedema is a fluid retention problem but fluid accumulation causes inflammation, which inhibits the function of existing lymphatics.

‘That leads to more fluid accumulation and more inflammation. Fat deposits and cholesterol build-up then occurs as a result of the inflammatory changes.’

Professor Kefah Mokbel, a consultant breast surgeon at the London Breast Institute, said the findings open a ‘genuinely new therapeutic avenue’.

He added: ‘This is potentially groundbreaking because lymphoedema remains a chronic condition with no cure.

‘The study identifies excessive cholesterol deposition in affected tissues as a potential target for treatments. But we need carefully designed human trials to establish safety and efficacy.’

He added that cholesterol-lowering drugs such as statins would be unlikely to work as they target cholesterol in the bloodstream, rather than specifically in the lymph nodes.

Many will remember the building as the location where they took their driving theory test

Plans to convert a prominent Peterborough office building once used as a driving theory test centre into flats have taken a step forward.

MJS Construction based in March submitted an application for prior approval in July for plans which would see the five-storey Churchgate building on New Road converted into 90 self-contained apartments.

This was granted by Peterborough City Council in August, meaning the development can begin within the next three years.

The proposal included 48 one-bedroom one-person units, 16 one-bedroom two-person units and 26 two-bedroom three-person units.

“The scheme does not increase the building footprint and represents an efficient re-use of existing built floorspace,” MJS Construction’s planning statement reads.

There are already 95 car parking spaces and the development would provide 58 secure cycle spaces within a dedicated cycle store inside the building.

Granting the application, the council case officer’s report concluded: “Upon assessment of the proposed development and following consultation with relevant bodies, it is considered that the proposed development will not result in unacceptable impact upon the safety of the public highway, contaminated land, increased flood risk elsewhere or be at risk of flooding itself.”

It also stated that the proposal would not result in unacceptable noise disturbance to neighbouring occupants and would provide adequate provision of natural light in all habitable rooms.

The Churchgate office building was reportedly sold to a private investor in 2024 in a deal completed by property agents Eddisons.

RIO DE JANEIRO (AP) — Discord, the popular platform for gamers to communicate online, said on Monday it suspended its livestreams in Brazil after criticism that it failed to protect children and adolescents. The move takes place in the wake of a suicide case.

Brazil’s government under President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva and the country’s Supreme Court have tried to regulate the use of the internet by minors, with mixed results so far, at a moment when countries, including Australia, Canada and Indonesia, are undertaking similar efforts.

The decision comes after Brazil’s national agency of data protection ordered the suspension last week. The U.S.-based company added it is in conversations “to seek a solution that allows us to reestablish those resources for our users in Brazil.”

“We remain committed to working with public policymakers in Brazil to help create an online experience that is safer for all, on Discord and across the internet,” said the platform.

A suicide draws attention to digital protections for minors

In July, an underage girl in the state of Mato Grosso do Sul was allegedly coerced by other users into committing suicide during a livestream on the platform, putting the company under increased scrutiny.

Brazil’s first lady Rosângela Lula da Silva, known as Janja, said on Aug. 6 that the platform should be taken offline, citing the case.

“I can’t accept seeing a 13-year-old girl self-harming live on the internet, on Discord, hanging herself and dying,” said Janja at a ceremony in the capital, Brasilia, during which Lula signed a law that increases the punishment for those who commit sexual violence against children and adolescents.

Five teenagers were arrested in connection with the death, according to an Aug. 4 statement by Brazil’s justice ministry.

“Livestreams have been repeatedly used to facilitate violence, harassment and the incitement of self-harm and suicide,” the country’s data protection agency said in a statement Wednesday.

The agency cited robust evidence that the company had not sufficiently prevented risks of exposure to content that “represent serious violations of the rights of children and adolescents within its service, especially inducement, incitement, instigation, or assistance to violence, self-harm, and suicide,” it said.

Discord has more than 90 million active daily users worldwide, according to its website.

Brazil rolled out a law seeking to boost protection of minors online earlier this year. The law requires that minors under 16 link their social media accounts to a legal guardian to ensure supervision.

Digital services must also implement an effective age verification mechanism that goes beyond self-declaration that the user is over 18 to protect them from accessing inappropriate or prohibited material.

In February, Discord postponed its controversial age verification policy after receiving backlash from users with concerns about their privacy. It later said in a statement that it was nonetheless rolling out age assurance measures to comply with Brazilian law.

The Trump administration has accused Brazil of targeting American social-media companies, and cited the issue among the reasons for imposing tariffs on Brazilian imports.

In 2024, Brazil’s Supreme Court ordered the shutdown of X until the network owned by Elon Musk complied with orders to remove accounts spreading disinformation.

___

Savarese reported from Sao Paulo.

___

Follow AP’s coverage of Latin America and the Caribbean at https://apnews.com/hub/latin-america

Plans to swap four signs at the McArthurGlen Designer Outlet for ones featuring the branding of its new owners Fraser Group PLC have been approved by City of York Council.

The outlet’s application stated the changes came as part of a rebranding exercise taking place after the sale of the site was announced earlier this year.

Council planning officers stated the new signs would not have a negative impact on public amenity or safety.

Submission of the plans in June follows the announcement that the site had been bought by Fraser Group PLC from previous owners Aviva Investors in April.

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The move also saw retail mogul Mike Ashley’s group, which also owns Sports Direct, take over the East Midlands Designer Outlet near Derby and Nottingham.

Plans for the York site, in St Nicholas Avenue, include installing four illuminated signs at the site’s north, south, east and west entrances along with two on totems.

They would bear the outlet’s new owner’s Frasers Plus name and logo.

Council planning officers stated the new signs were based on simple designs and fitted with the scale and position of existing ones.

Plans for new signs at the West Entrance of York’s McArthurGlen Designer Outlet (Image: Fraser Group)

Officers stated: “The proposed totem advertisement will not be any more visually prominent than the existing which in turn will ensure that the visual appearance of the surrounding area is not eroded by additional advertisements.

“This proposal seeks to maintain a consistent signage design across the site.

“The fascia signs are to be located 1.6m above each entrance which accords with the scale of the existing ones and ensures they are positioned appropriately and do not dominate the shopfront.”

Frasers Group chief executive Michael Murray said the strategic acquisitions supported their vision for the group which owns more than one fifths of the UK outlet market.

Paul Tyler, McArthurGlen’s centre manager for York, told The Press in April he did not expect the take over to affect day-to-day operations.

York’s Designer Outlet is home to more than 100 stores along with a number of food and drink outlets.

It covers an area of about 23,000 square metres, or almost 250,000 square feet, and first opened in 1998.

OWINGS MILLS, Md. (AP) — O.J. Brigance, who won a Super Bowl with the Baltimore Ravens before waging an unyielding battle against amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, has died. He was 56.

The Ravens announced Brigance’s death on Monday.

“We are devastated by the awful news that we have lost O.J. Brigance,” Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti said in a statement. “O.J. was a beloved legend, mentor and man to everyone who was fortunate enough to know him. He was a vibrant person who became one of the first Ravens heroes with his passionate play, including the first tackle in the 2000 Super Bowl.”

Brigance was diagnosed with ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease, in 2007. Not long after that, he and his wife, Chanda, formed the Brigance Brigade Foundation, an organization whose mission is to “equip, encourage and empower” those afflicted with ALS.

Despite using a wheelchair and a communication device that translated his messages, Brigance served as senior adviser for player engagement with the Ravens, a job he started in 2004. In addition to assisting players in each phase of their career, Brigance proved a source of motivation within the organization.

“Every day I walk by, not just to tell him how much I love him, but to tell him that he is the one thing that lets me not complain about anything,” Ravens Hall of Fame linebacker Ray Lewis said in 2012, his final pro season. “I played with that guy. His spirit is just awesome.”

Brigance is the only player to win a Canadian Football League title and a Super Bowl championship for a team in the same city, Baltimore.

“While winning CFL and NFL championships are great personal remembrances, I wouldn’t say any of these events define me,” he said. “Rather, they are part of an accumulation of life events which catapulted me to do what God wanted me to accomplish. If you were to remove any of those events, I wouldn’t be the same person or have the position of influence. With that being said, I consider the Brigance Brigade to be the most significant achievement of my life because of my ability to touch the lives of others.”

Brigance said his career as a professional football player — he played linebacker and on special teams — helped prepare him for the fight against ALS.

“Many people think football is all about strength and physical ability,” Brigance said in a 2012 interview with The Associated Press. “While these are integral parts of one’s success, the fortitude, discipline and the desire necessary to play the sport are characteristics that are readily transferrable to everyday life.”

Brigance didn’t set out to be an example of how to live under difficult circumstances, but he had no intention of letting ALS get him down. He and Chanda collaborated to help and encourage others with the disease.

“I have found that when adversity strikes, there is a decision to be made. We chose to respond and continue to live, and also help others living with ALS to respond also,” he said. “We have found that we have been a great encouragement not only to those within the ALS community, but to people in all walks of life.”

Orenthial James Brigance was born Sept. 29, 1969 and played in college at Rice in his hometown of Houston. He began his professional career in 1991 as a linebacker for the British Columbia Lions. He played three seasons with BC, making 20 sacks in 1993, before joining the Baltimore Stallions. In his second season in Baltimore, the team won the 1995 Grey Cup.

In 1996, Brigance was signed by the Miami Dolphins as a free agent. He was twice voted a team captain during his four seasons there and was the Ed Block Courage Award recipient in 1999. He was honored with the NFL Players Association’s “Unsung Hero Award” that same season.

Brigance’s lone season with Baltimore was 2000. He had a team-high 10 tackles on special teams during Baltimore’s playoff run, which ended with a 34-7 win over the New York Giants in the Super Bowl.

Brigance played for the St. Louis Rams in 2001 and 2002, and his final game was with New England in 2002.

“I am devastated and at a loss for words. O.J. was one of the most genuine, sincere people I have ever known,” Ravens executive vice president Ozzie Newsome said. “From the moment he arrived in Baltimore, you could feel his energy. His amazing smile, welcoming nature and infectious personality made everyone around him feel like family.”

And his tenacity would serve him well long after his playing days ended.

___

See AP’s full NFL coverage here

A statement from Greenville police department said: “On August 16, 2026, at approximately 1.51pm, officers from the Greenville police department, accompanied by EMS personnel, responded to a report of an unresponsive female at Judson Mill Lofts, located at 701 Easley Bridge Road.

It was the summer of 2018 and Hayden Panettiere was newly single, recently out of rehab, and hoping to make a fresh start.

Her ex-fiance, Ukrainian boxer Wladimir Klitschko, had obtained in 2018 full custody of their three-year-old daughter Kaya – Panettiere’s postnatal depression and alcoholism made motherhood an impossible struggle.

So Panettiere’s brother Jansen, five years her junior, suggested they go out in West Hollywood and have a good time.

It was then, in the wildly popular gay bar The Abbey, that Panettiere met a man who would change the course of her life – Brian Hickerson.

Hickerson, an aspiring actor and real estate agent from South Carolina, swept Panettiere off her feet ‘at lightning speed’, she writes in her memoir, which was published in May.

Within weeks they were living together at her Los Angeles home – dancing in her living room, redecorating, playing board games and watching ‘practically every Netflix series ever made’.

‘I finally began to feel beautiful again,’ she wrote, praising his smile and sense of humor. ‘I also started to feel safe, loved and cherished. It was like Brian and I were two best friends living together under one roof.’

But for all its blissful beginnings, the relationship was ultimately violent and tempestuous.

Hickerson is seen in his Wyoming mugshot, after his arrest in the early hours of Valentine’s Day in 2020

He was arrested and charged with domestic violence in 2019 and in 2020 – the final incident saw him sentenced to 45 days in jail.

The troubles did not end there: in May 2022 the pair had a wild fight inside the bar of the Sunset Marquis hotel in LA, and Hickerson was photographed being restrained by a bystander, seemingly missing a shoe. Panettiere was reportedly overheard yelling: ‘Brian, jail!’ – a reminder that he was still on probation.

They split, seemingly for good, in July 2022.

She recalled in excruciating detail the beatings in her memoir, and he, on publication, owned his past behavior, calling the book an essential read.

Then they appeared to reconcile.

On Saturday, Panettiere and Hickerson flew from LA to South Carolina.

On Sunday, she was found dead at an apartment in Greenville, after ‘an unidentified acquaintance’ called 911 to report ‘a potential overdose’, according to audio of the call obtained by People.

The Greenville County Coroner’s Office has completed the star’s autopsy, with the coroner telling Page Six that ‘no signs of trauma were discovered that would have contributed to the death.’

The cause and exact manner of her death remain under investigation.

It’s not known whether he was in the apartment at the time. Hickerson, approached by the Daily Mail, is yet to comment.

It’s also not known how the pair resumed their relationship, and indeed whether it was romantic or just friendship. TMZ reported Monday that, per a source, Panettiere and Hickerson were together while she promoted her memoir, only keeping their relationship a secret to protect her career.

But perhaps the airing of all the dirty laundry, in horrific detail, had allowed them to move on. And certainly the book paints an uncomfortable picture.

It’s not clear when exactly the abuse began, between the summer of 2018 and spring of 2019: Panettiere does not give a date.

Instead she describes a horrific scene when, after a bottle of wine each and several vodkas, their evening becomes hellish.

‘I say something I regret,’ she wrote. ‘A chair scrapes against the floor, and Brian stands up, all six feet of him. He leans toward my face and screams: “What is wrong with you?”

‘I flinch, and he keeps screaming.’

She described a terrifying tussle with a paring knife, before a wine glass crashes to the floor and Hickerson hits her for the first time.

‘I hear it before I feel it,’ she wrote. ‘The unmistakable sound of an open-hand slap. Then there’s burning on my cheek, like I’m on fire. There’s ringing in my head. There’s silence.’

Panettiere and Hickerson were both registered as living in this Los Angeles building

Panettiere on one of her last public outings on June 2026. She was in New York City to promote her memoir 

Nothing was ever said about that first slap. But, soon, she wrote, the slaps became punches. She also punched him too, she admitted – joking, with gallows humor, that time spent watching boxing with her ex came in useful.

‘One night he busts up my face so badly I don’t leave the house for weeks,’ she wrote.

‘Another day he screams at me to run as far as I can in five seconds because I’ll need a head start before he throws the remote control at me. This is a man who doesn’t miss, I think.

‘And he doesn’t. The remote control hits my face like it’s been thrown by a minor league pitcher.’

She fought back: ‘All that boxing I watched paid off,’ she wrote.

But she is no match for him.

‘Punches rain down, hard,’ she wrote of a May 2019 incident.

‘My head hits the wall, and he’s straddling me, pinning me down using all his weight.

‘Why did you hit yourself?’ he screams as I struggle under him. ‘You’re all bruised, why did you do that to yourself?’

Terrified, she escapes and runs to the car – where she keeps a bottle of water in the glove compartment ‘for times like this.’

Neighbors called 911 and Hickerson was charged with domestic assault, but pleads not guilty.

Panettiere and Hickerson in happier times in a photo he shared on Instagram before turning his social media dark 

Panettiere and Hickerson are seen in January 2019 in Los Angeles

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Hayden Panettiere seen with bruises on her arms in 2022. She and Hickerson had been involved in a scuffle outside a hotel 

Despite 

‘He argues that I was the one hitting myself – not him – and he’d in fact recorded himself saying: ‘Why did you hit yourself?’ as I fully lost control.’

He was initially ordered to stay 100 yards away from her, but Panettiere accepted his apologies – he claimed to have no memory of the fight – and the charges were dropped in September 2019.

In November 2019, a Hickerson family source told Us Weekly that his family were troubled by their relationship.

‘Brian’s family is extremely concerned for his safety when he is with Hayden,’ the source said. ‘They are terrified that Brian will once again find himself accused of domestic violence. Hayden and Brian are very toxic for each other.’

And so it proved.

The following year, in February 2020, the pair traveled to Jackson, Wyoming, for Valentine’s Day.

After another night of drinking, she wrote that, once more, their ‘playful banter’ turned toxic, and, she claimed, Hickerson pushed her up against a wall.

‘I felt my head snap back and smash into the wall, and a sharp pain shot down into my back. I braced my body to absorb the shock, then I closed my eyes.

‘Clap. Brian slapped me hard, and a familiar sting radiated out from my cheek and across my entire body.’

Again, neighbors called the police and Hickerson was arrested.

She wrote that, in the days immediately following their fight, she was determined to end the relationship, and the ‘toxic waste dump we’d found ourselves swimming in.’

A Wyoming police report from the time noted ‘a fresh scrape and swelling on the top of her left hand which she believed came from Hickerson’s watch during the altercation.’

She tried once more to stay away from him and added, in the memoir: ‘I knew that if Brian laid his hands on me one more time, and I caught him off guard, I might kill him in self-defense… that was a chance I just couldn’t take.’

In July of that year she obtained a restraining order against him, writing on July 17, 2020 that she hoped others would be inspired by her to walk away from abusive partners.

‘I am coming forward with the truth about what happened to me with the hope that my story will empower others in abusive relationships to get the help they need and deserve,’ she wrote on Instagram.

‘I am prepared to do my part to make sure this man never hurts anyone again. I’m grateful for my support system, which helped me find the courage to regain my voice and my life.’

Panettiere in her memoir, years later, wrote that she still loved Hickerson, and the man he was, when he wasn’t ‘raging.’

Hickerson was charged in July 2020 with four domestic assault felonies, one misdemeanor count of battery, two felony counts of assault with a deadly weapon, and one felony count of dissuading a witness from prosecuting a crime.

The charges covered the period from May 2019 to July 2020.

Panettiere, a child star, is pictured in September 2012

In April 2021 he accepted a plea deal, pleading no contest to two felony counts of injuring a spouse or girlfriend.

The remaining six counts were dismissed.

He was sentenced to 45 days in jail and four years’ probation, plus $500 in fines and mandatory domestic violence classes. In May 2021 he surrendered to serve his sentence, spending 19 days behind bars.

Panettiere insisted she only wanted him to be in jail long enough to get scared.

‘I didn’t want to traumatize him in an irreversible way,’ she wrote. ‘So I decided to do what I wish others would do for me. I decided to let go of my resentment and try to forgive Brian.’

Yet time behind bars did not have the desired effect, and soon they were back to their old ways.

By May 2022 they were evidently back together, drinking at the Sunset Marquis when yet another violent altercation ensued – which saw Panettiere warn Hickerson that he was still on probation.

She separated from him once more in July 2022.

Hickerson, in May this year, when the book was published, heaped praise on her and said her account was true.

He even told TMZ he still hoped to marry her.

‘I hope so, [but] she probably doesn’t think the same way,’ the 37-year-old said. ‘I think Hayden is one of most talented people I’ve ever met in my life, and I would be an idiot not to walk away from her and let her flourish in her career.’

Panettiere, asked by TMZ about his wish to marry her, laughed as she walked through an airport and replied: ‘I don’t think that’s going to happen.’

Yet Hickerson was effusive in his praise of her memoir.

‘Hayden’s book’s incredible. I think it’s great,’ he said. ‘I think everyone should read it. I mean, the domestic violence stuff – my chapter – everybody should read it.’

He added: ‘You got to be vulnerable and, you know, I did it. I did it.’

Summer holidays come with an awful lot of expectations. They’re expensive, precious and often represent the one chance to spend uninterrupted time together.

We imagine we’ll reconnect, have meaningful conversations, enjoy great sex and come home feeling closer than ever.

But holidays can also be surprisingly stressful for couples. I often hear from clients who are filled with dread at the prospect of a holiday. Not because they’re worried about flying or packing, but because they don’t want to spend that amount of time with their partner.

If you’re already feeling turned off by them, irritated by them, or simply desperate for space, the thought of being together for ten days or two weeks can feel unbearable.

When you know deep down that your relationship isn’t working, a holiday can make that impossible to ignore. In fact, I see a lot of separations happen either in the weeks leading up to a holiday or immediately afterwards.

That’s because for much of the year, work, routines, children, separate social lives and everyday distractions mask what’s really going on between you. Then suddenly you’re together round the clock. The forced intimacy can leave people re-evaluating their marriage.

And yes, sometimes when couples feel stuck, they might need professional help, but the role of therapy is not to trap people in relationships that aren’t working. If clients really feel averse to spending any time with their partner, they sometimes come to therapy for permission to walk away, and that’s OK.

But if you’re not ready to call time on your relationship – and don’t want to ditch your two weeks in the sun – here are some of the biggest holiday flashpoints I see in the therapy room – and how you can avoid them…

Natasha says spending a little time apart on holiday can be healthy and help couples fulfil their own needs

One wants to trek… one fly and flop

This is one of the most common holiday arguments I encounter.

I see couples place a lot of weight on having the perfect break, but the difficulty is that ‘perfect’ can mean something very different to each partner.

One of you wants adventure, activity and novelty. The other wants a sun lounger, a book and absolutely no obligations.

The mistake couples make is thinking they’re arguing about the destination. What they’re really talking about is how their needs can be met in the relationship.

I see more burnout than ever before. Many clients spend their lives giving, working and coping. The thought of a hike up to a hilltop village feels like yet another task. Others spend all year behind a desk and desperately need stimulation and excitement to unwind.

Solution: No matter how compatible a couple is, we are individuals with our own needs, desires, dislikes and boundaries. We will never match up completely – nor should we. Before you go away, think about what you expect and want from the trip. Think about previous holidays too. What worked? What didn’t? Where did resentment creep in? Then talk honestly.

I encourage clients to avoid criticism and instead focus on communicating their feelings and needs. I also suggest giving themselves permission to spend at least 20 per cent of the time meeting their own needs separately and guilt-free. That might look like a hot-stone massage while their partner enjoys a hike.

They’re glued to their phone

Many couples hope a holiday will finally provide quality time together. Then one partner spends the entire time scrolling, answering emails, disappearing into work or their social media.

When somebody is always on their device, I wonder what function that behaviour serves. It can be a sign of a dysregulated nervous system, where they use their phone to numb or soothe themselves, or to avoid being present.

If somebody continually chooses their phone over being present with you, it can leave you feeling lonely even when you’re together, says Natasha 

Sometimes work becomes an excuse. They tell themselves it’s important – and perhaps some of it genuinely is – but to the partner sitting beside them, it can feel incredibly rejecting. If somebody continually chooses their phone over being present with you, it can leave you feeling lonely even when you’re together.

Solution: I often ask couples: ‘When you get home from your holiday, what would make you say you got exactly what you needed?’ That’s a useful question to prepare for a trip, especially if this issue has come up before.

It’s usually easier to discuss these things before you go, rather than being perceived as ‘nagging’ on holiday. Maybe suggest times you can be phone-free, and other times when you can check in on emails, if that’s truly necessary. 

They don’t pull their weight

One child’s having a tantrum over ice cream, the other needs their armbands blown up. Their father? On a sun lounger, headphones on, buried in a thriller.

I hear this complaint constantly, particularly from women: ‘He did not help me with the kids at all. He was useless.’

Often, they had convinced themselves their partner’s lack of involvement at home was because work was demanding. Then they go away together and realise it isn’t that they’re busy. It’s that they don’t want to share parenting. For some, that realisation becomes the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

He may say he didn’t notice or ‘I thought you were managing fine without me’, but the fact a partner can see you’re struggling and you feel he doesn’t care enough to help can be deeply hurtful.

Solution: Rather than say, ‘You never help with the children’, try, ‘When I’m managing everything with the children on holiday, I feel unseen, overwhelmed and like I’m doing it by myself.’

It’s also important to be specific. Tell your partner exactly what you need from them. Many people resist this because they think, ‘Why should I have to spell it out? I’m not their parent.’ But sometimes that’s exactly what you need to do. You can also discuss booking a kids’ club, or a babysitter if you’d both like a break.

Couples who navigate holidays successfully are usually the ones who can communicate effectively both beforehand and on holiday, and work out ways to ensure both partners feel considered.

You feel lonely in paradise

The air is soft, the night is young, and you’ve been chatting away to your partner. Their response? ‘Sorry, did you say something?’

One of the most painful complaints I hear is from people who feel their partner has very little interest in what they have to say.

They won’t maintain eye contact when talking about feelings and seem uninterested in their partner’s inner world.

It’s natural to hope that with time alone together in a beautiful place, things will be different. But with an avoidant, disconnected partner, that’s not likely.

Even harder is when that same partner suddenly becomes highly engaged when they want sex. For many, that combination is a relationship killer.

Solution: If you come home feeling just as lonely, unseen, rejected or disconnected as when you left, only with a great tan, it’s likely the problem isn’t the holiday at all, but the relationship.

Counselling can help but only if both parties are willing to do the work.

Holiday sex becomes a battleground

For one partner, holiday sex might seem like the perfect way to let go and relax without life’s pressures getting in the way. For the other, it might seem like yet more caretaking – the very thing they are trying to escape.

The expectation of intimacy can act as a wet flannel on desire.

One partner may resentfully give in to duty sex, while the higher-desire partner, who thought sun, sea and sangria would allow sex to flourish, feels deeply rejected. At this point couples start to realise, ‘It’s not our routine, is it? It’s us’ – and this can feel really destabilising.

Solution: One of the most effective things couples can do is remove the expectation entirely.

Touch your partner simply to be close to them. Stroke their hair. Hold their hand. Tell them, ‘This isn’t going anywhere. I just want to be close to you.’

Research tells us that people who have new experiences together have a better sex life.

When somebody no longer feels pressured, they have space to ask themselves what they want. And relaxed, tanned, with a cocktail in their hand, that may well be sex.

Friends and family always come first

There’s nothing wrong with group holidays or wanting family around. The question is whether friends and family are a strategy to avoid spending time alone as a couple. Wanting couple time is healthy, but if the idea of your partner wanting others there makes you feel rejected, or like you aren’t ‘enough’, that may be worth paying attention to.

Solution: There’s plenty of room for compromise here. Discuss how you can both get your needs met, even in small moments. For example, if his family are coming along, can you go for dinner alone one or two nights?

You might suggest booking another break with just the two of you, or a weekend away with friends. However, if only one person consistently gets what they want, the power dynamic isn’t equal. If you find yourself giving in and repressing your feelings, don’t ignore that.

As told to Leah Hardy

Lord Simon Woolley, principal of Homerton College at the University of Cambridge, told the vigil that when he met with Arday last week, the academic told him he felt that critics were “hounding me to death”.

Filmmaker and activist Misan Harriman told the vigil: “The legacy media crossed every line in the treatment of Jason.

“Imagine being so lost in the business of cruelty that you relish hurting another human for sport, with your own poison pen.”

He added: “Jason should still be here today.”

Arday, 41, was found dead at an address in south London, on 14 August, two days after Cambridge said it would investigate the circumstances around his appointment.

He had resigned as a Cambridge professor of sociology of education on 5 August, after the university said it would look into claims about his career.

Arday said his resignation should not “be mistaken for an acceptance of the narratives that have surrounded me”.

Monday’s vigil came as more than 90,000 people signed a Good Law Project petition seeking an inquiry into media coverage of Arday.

Earlier, Cambridge University’s chancellor criticised the “racist feeding frenzy” around Arday in the weeks before his death.

Speaking publicly for the first time on the row, Lord Chris Smith said academic integrity could be upheld while questioning Arday’s treatment.

In a statement, he said: “I do believe it is possible to hold to two principles at the same time: to believe in the importance of academic integrity, and where criticisms of plagiarism arise, about any academic, whoever they are, ensure that they are rigorously investigated.

“And also to refuse to join in a racist feeding frenzy over a particular academic.”