Entertainment
A Knight Of The Seven Kingdoms Betrays Its Audience And Turns Back Into A Nihilistic Game Of Thrones Show
By Joshua Tyler
| Updated
A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms spent four episodes building up endless amounts of audience goodwill by being exactly the opposite of every previous Game of Thrones show. It positioned itself as a simple story about genuinely good and kind people doing good things in a beautiful, relaxing, perfectly shot and framed pastoral setting.
And then it threw it all away.
The show’s fifth episode, titled “In The Name Of The Mother,” is what it’s been building up to all along. A battle in which seven good men face off against the worst villainy that Westeros has to offer. The audience was primed for heroic combat, in which the show’s loveable main character, Duncan the Tall, would finally show us what he’s capable of, presumably with some sort of dazzling display of sword skills taught to him by his beloved deceased master, Sir Alfred Pennyworth.
We were ready for a half-hour celebration of heroic jousting, fencing, and flashing chain mail. We were ready to leap out of our seats and pump our fists as Duncan the Tall knocked that psychopath out of his armor and won one for the good and kind, the merciful and just, with superior strength and skill. We were ready for him to surprise everyone, to show the world that good can triumph over evil, and that it can happen in a setting where you can actually see what’s going on.
A Franchise Built On Death And Gore Returns To Its Roots
We got none of that. Oh, Duncan won, sort of, but in a way that might as well have been a loss. What we really got is a reminder that while you may have thought you were watching something refreshingly different, this is still Game of Thrones. The franchise that brought you the Red Wedding. The franchise that murdered all the best Starks. The world set you up for the heroic triumph of Daenerys, only to murder her in cold blood at the last minute for no good reason other than some vague handwaving about fascism.
This is Game of Thrones, the franchise where good people suffer for no reason, where beloved characters lose their heads, where everything is rot and filth and nihilism. That nice, clean show about that lovable knight you’ve been watching up til now? It was all a smokescreen, a bait and switch, so it could drag you right back into that pointless, stinking Game of Thrones hell.
When the trial of seven starts, Ser Duncan is knocked out cold in the first three seconds, allowing the show to avoid the battle and give us a 20-minute flashback (the entire episode is only 34 minutes long) of Duncan’s childhood, in which he lives in garbage and makes money by both murdering and robbing dying soldiers. It culminates in a scene where the camera lingers for nearly a minute, with an almost debauched sense of pleasure, over a little girl who used to be his friend as she very, very slowly bleeds out, spitting and dying and suffering in front of us after having her throat cut.
It’s All A Smokescreen
With that bit of pointless nihilism over, Ser Duncan wakes up in the middle of the battle, lying in a muddy puddle. The trial of the seven is still going on around him, but almost none of it is visible to the audience. Instead, we mostly see a bunch of mud.
Like the Battle of Winterfell that took place in the dark so you couldn’t see any of the actual battle, the trial of seven takes place entirely in a thick fog. The show’s producers claim this was because they don’t have enough money in their coffers to show a joust, but if you’ve seen any of the series The Pendragon Cycle, which operates on a micro-budget compared to the one mustered up by HBO for a Game of Thrones show, you know that’s total crap. The Pendragon Cycle routinely shows big battles, and they don’t hide them behind a smokescreen. This is just what Game of Thrones does. It teases the audience with something awesome, then shoots it in a way that never shows anything awesome.
After missing most of the battle, though, Duncan’s awake and ready to fight. Now, after that flashback, we know that what’s driving him isn’t goodness and decency, but standard Game of Thrones anger and filth.
Fortified with hatred for the world, Duncan gets involved in the fight, mostly by falling down in the muck and getting brutally stabbed out of nowhere a lot. Soon, there’s another knight wading around in the mud with him, and they’re both a mass of blood and gore, but they begin half-heatedly stabbing and hitting each other.
Many more minutes of mud later, Duncan collapses again and lies there staring at a puddle through his one remaining good eye before getting back up and punching his opponent in the face until he gives up. Some brains fall out of a heroic character’s head, everyone looks like hell, and there’s nothing enjoyable or pleasant in any of it. Just mud and gore. You thought you were watching A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, but really it’s still season eight of Game of Thrones, and everything sucks, and there’s no way out.
Game Of Thrones Hates Its Audience, And Always Has
Except this is worse. Because the show’s first four episodes showed that the people making it know exactly what their audience wants and are totally capable of giving it to them. They’re just not going to do it. They’re so obsessed with gore and sick, they’d rather spit in the face of their viewers than give them anything uplifting, beautiful, and heroic. This is a show that hates its audience and wants them to suffer even more than it wants to hurt its characters.
It’s a sickness, and one with only a single cure. Give up and go watch The Pendragon Cycle. There’s nothing worthwhile left in Westeros.
