Christopher Lloyd’s R-Rated 90s Heist Comedy Is The Best Scheme You Never Heard Of 

By Robert Scucci
| Published 4 seconds ago

My favorite heist movies always involve bumbling protagonists who are really smart and good at the one thing they’re good at, but terrible at everything else. Which is why I was beyond thrilled to learn that Christopher Lambert and Christopher Lloyd shared the screen in 1990’s Why Me?, a comedy of errors involving two burglars who accidentally steal a priceless artifact that sends the whole world into a tizzy. What’s most impressive, though, is that both Lloyd and Lambert have done very well for themselves as supporting characters throughout their careers, but they both thrive sharing the lead in Why Me?

They share enough screen time to have their own individual shining moments, but the magic really happens when they’re riffing off each other as two of the dumbest criminals known to man while somehow staying one step ahead of their adversaries, despite remaining totally clueless most of the time.

Two Goofy Dudes Getting Chased By Goons

Why Me? kicks off with a seemingly simple robbery that sets the full conflict in motion. This first robbery involves The Byzantine Fire, an extremely valuable ruby making its rounds through the museum circuit in the United States for the first time ever. As it turns out, a group of religious extremists steal the rock, evade the authorities, and hide it in their safe-deposit box.

Completely unaware of this high-level thievery, low-level jewel thief Gus Cardinale (Christopher Lambert) just so happens to unwittingly break into that same safe-deposit box looking for a big score. In the process, he steals The Byzantine Fire, but he’s mostly interested in the box of diamonds valued at a million dollars. For context, The Byzantine Fire is a priceless, sacred, highly sought-after ruby that can’t even be reasonably appraised because of its rarity.

Knowing that he’s on the lam for stealing the diamonds, Gus doesn’t even think to mention The Byzantine Fire, which he assumes is probably a fancy knockoff that happened to be in the safe-deposit box, when he gets together with his partner Bruno (Christopher Lloyd) to figure out how they can get away with fencing the diamonds in their possession. Sitting there the whole time with a look of equal parts affection and disappointment is Gus’ girlfriend, June (Kim Greist), who wants him to stop working as a thief and find legitimate work.

Luck is not on either Gus or Bruno’s side in Why Me?, resulting in the duo being chased not only by the LAPD, but also Police Chief Francis Mahoney (J.T. Walsh), the Turkish government, and an extremely pissed-off Armenian terrorist named Gatou Vardebedian (Wendel Meldrum). It’s a full-on comedy of errors about two guys who are way in over their heads over an object they don’t even realize they have in their possession for a good two-thirds of the movie.

The Two Chris’ Commit

One blind spot I had before sitting down with Why Me? was Christopher Lambert’s willingness to do slapstick comedy. While he’s no Jim Carrey on the physical comedy front, he commits to the bit, and his facial expressions do a lot of the comedic heavy lifting. His ability to play somebody so clueless is half the fun because, on paper, he’s the last person you’d want in your corner if you had to make a serious judgment call, despite his good intentions.

One of his best scenes involves helping a little girl unlock her bike without hesitation, only for the real owner to show up seconds later wondering where the hell his Huffy went. Blissfully unaware that he’s now an accessory to theft, Gus just smiles and keeps walking as if the satisfaction of committing a good deed immediately blinds him to what’s actually happening around him.

Christopher Lloyd plays the straight man, if you could call it that, in the sense that Bruno is just as idiotic as Gus, but at the very least seems to think scenarios through before impulsively acting on them. This odd-couple dynamic drives Why Me? exactly where it needs to go by the third act, when every antagonist closes in and they have to figure out how to return the ruby, secure the diamonds they originally intended to steal but lost, and walk away from the entire ordeal without ending up in jail.

Why Me? is pure, goofy fun with two leads who clearly understood the assignment and ran with the premise. Is it the funniest movie ever made? Not by a longshot, but if you want to see both Chrises in their element, sharing the spotlight without ever overstaying their welcome, you can stream the film for free on Tubi as of this writing.