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Christopher Lloyd’s R-Rated 90s Heist Comedy Is The Best Scheme You Never Heard Of 

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Christopher Lloyd's R-Rated 90s Heist Comedy Is The Best Scheme You Never Heard Of 

By Robert Scucci
| Published

My favorite heist movies always involve bumbling protagonists who are really smart and good at the one thing they’re good at, but terrible at everything else. Which is why I was beyond thrilled to learn that Christopher Lambert and Christopher Lloyd shared the screen in 1990’s Why Me?, a comedy of errors involving two burglars who accidentally steal a priceless artifact that sends the whole world into a tizzy. What’s most impressive, though, is that both Lloyd and Lambert have done very well for themselves as supporting characters throughout their careers, but they both thrive sharing the lead in Why Me?

They share enough screen time to have their own individual shining moments, but the magic really happens when they’re riffing off each other as two of the dumbest criminals known to man while somehow staying one step ahead of their adversaries, despite remaining totally clueless most of the time.

Two Goofy Dudes Getting Chased By Goons

Why Me? 1990

Why Me? kicks off with a seemingly simple robbery that sets the full conflict in motion. This first robbery involves The Byzantine Fire, an extremely valuable ruby making its rounds through the museum circuit in the United States for the first time ever. As it turns out, a group of religious extremists steal the rock, evade the authorities, and hide it in their safe-deposit box.

Completely unaware of this high-level thievery, low-level jewel thief Gus Cardinale (Christopher Lambert) just so happens to unwittingly break into that same safe-deposit box looking for a big score. In the process, he steals The Byzantine Fire, but he’s mostly interested in the box of diamonds valued at a million dollars. For context, The Byzantine Fire is a priceless, sacred, highly sought-after ruby that can’t even be reasonably appraised because of its rarity.

Why Me? 1990

Knowing that he’s on the lam for stealing the diamonds, Gus doesn’t even think to mention The Byzantine Fire, which he assumes is probably a fancy knockoff that happened to be in the safe-deposit box, when he gets together with his partner Bruno (Christopher Lloyd) to figure out how they can get away with fencing the diamonds in their possession. Sitting there the whole time with a look of equal parts affection and disappointment is Gus’ girlfriend, June (Kim Greist), who wants him to stop working as a thief and find legitimate work.

Luck is not on either Gus or Bruno’s side in Why Me?, resulting in the duo being chased not only by the LAPD, but also Police Chief Francis Mahoney (J.T. Walsh), the Turkish government, and an extremely pissed-off Armenian terrorist named Gatou Vardebedian (Wendel Meldrum). It’s a full-on comedy of errors about two guys who are way in over their heads over an object they don’t even realize they have in their possession for a good two-thirds of the movie.

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The Two Chris’ Commit

Why Me? 1990

One blind spot I had before sitting down with Why Me? was Christopher Lambert’s willingness to do slapstick comedy. While he’s no Jim Carrey on the physical comedy front, he commits to the bit, and his facial expressions do a lot of the comedic heavy lifting. His ability to play somebody so clueless is half the fun because, on paper, he’s the last person you’d want in your corner if you had to make a serious judgment call, despite his good intentions.

One of his best scenes involves helping a little girl unlock her bike without hesitation, only for the real owner to show up seconds later wondering where the hell his Huffy went. Blissfully unaware that he’s now an accessory to theft, Gus just smiles and keeps walking as if the satisfaction of committing a good deed immediately blinds him to what’s actually happening around him.

Why Me? 1990

Christopher Lloyd plays the straight man, if you could call it that, in the sense that Bruno is just as idiotic as Gus, but at the very least seems to think scenarios through before impulsively acting on them. This odd-couple dynamic drives Why Me? exactly where it needs to go by the third act, when every antagonist closes in and they have to figure out how to return the ruby, secure the diamonds they originally intended to steal but lost, and walk away from the entire ordeal without ending up in jail.

Why Me? is pure, goofy fun with two leads who clearly understood the assignment and ran with the premise. Is it the funniest movie ever made? Not by a longshot, but if you want to see both Chrises in their element, sharing the spotlight without ever overstaying their welcome, you can stream the film for free on Tubi as of this writing.

Why Me? 1990


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Bold and Beautiful Early Spoilers May 11-15: Steffy Revolted & Liam Overjoyed!

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Bold and the Beautiful Spoilers: Steffy Forrester (Jacqueline MacInnes Wood) - Liam Spencer (Scott Clifton)

Bold and the Beautiful early weekly spoilers for May 11th through the 15th bring drama as Steffy Forrester (Jacqueline MacInnes Wood) is absolutely disgusted when things take a turn at Forrester Creations. Plus, Liam Spencer (Scott Clifton) is about to be over the moon happy.

We’re also going to talk about Katie Logan‘s (Heather Tom) next move, Miss Dylan’s (Sydney Bullock) struggle, and more bombshells ahead as we hit the last full week of May sweeps. And as we always do on early edition day, we talk about what’s happening the rest of this week and then we get into what is coming the week of May 11th. All right.

Wednesday, May 6th on Bold and the Beautiful: Brooke Tries to Make Peace…But is It Real?

On Wednesday, May 6th, just a quick note, if you live on the West Coast, Bold and the Beautiful is likely preempted in your region on Wednesday. This is the second preemption this week because of soccer. East Coast and Central time zone should not be affected. Mountain zone maybe. Look for it on demand or on Paramount Plus if you are affected.

Katie gets an olive branch from Brooke Logan (Katherine Kelly Lang) on Wednesday. If it goes badly, Katie may go ahead and just push forward with Hope Logan (Annika Noelle). Now, we all saw Katie begging Brooke to please say that she was proud of her and congratulate her, and Brooke refused. And instead, she called Katie a thief of the Logan trademark and Eric Forrester‘s (John McCook) designs that they bought and paid for. And even if Brooke comes over to Logan to see her little sister with the best intentions, I kind of doubt it’s going to be a sincere olive branch. It may be more of a switch that she swats Katie with. We’ll see.

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Plus, Dylan gets an intriguing offer from Daphne Rose Walton (Muriel Hilaire). So, I really hope that she doesn’t walk in and finds Dylan with Remy Pryce (ChristianWeissmann). I know that Daphne knows exactly who Remy is and what he did to Electra Forrester (Laneya Grace) because Daphne was in the showroom with Electra and I think Steffy was also there. A couple of people were there when Deke Sharpe (Harrison Cone) introduced Remy as his boyfriend and Electra and all the others freaked out about it.

Thursday, May 7th on Bold: Hope’s Ultimatum Shakes Things Up

Then on Thursday, May 7th, it looks like Steffy wants to hear what Hope started to say on Tuesday. And if she threatens to go to Logan, even though Ridge Forrester (Thorsten Kaye) doesn’t want to be in the middle of his daughter and stepdaughter hammering at each other, things are going to get blown way up. Hope may tell Steffy that she’ll just go work somewhere else if they don’t want her. And Carter Walton (Lawrence Saint-Victor) has a warning for Steffy and Ridge that they might face consequences from their actions.

I expect Steffy to vent after Hope leaves. And Carter is going to warn Steffy and Ridge to be careful about their decisions because there may be consequences. And I’m sure this is Carter talking to them about Hope for the Future. He’s advocated heavily for it in the past when they were dating. Things are a little different now, but from a COO standpoint, I’m sure he has an opinion. I think Steffy won’t back down and that Hope is about to push back hard.

Bold and the Beautiful Spoilers: Hope Pushes Brooke

After the showdown with Steffy and Ridge is watching them like a tennis match, we’re going to see Hope leave and she heads over to talk to her mom at Brooke’s house. Hope is telling her mother that Brooke needs to fight for what she deserves at Forrester Creations.

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And Hope is telling Brooke that she should be the co-CEO alongside Ridge and it should not be Steffy. And although Brooke looks a little stunned, she finally agrees and tells Hope that she is right. But if Brooke actually pushes for this, it could push Steffy over the edge. She’s already in a big Logan-hating phase, which she does semi-regularly, and Steffy just brought up the coup recently.

To his credit, Ridge kind of said, you know, we’re past that, but Steffy’s not past it clearly. And while she is saying that it’s Eric’s return to explain why they’re shutting down Hope for the Future for now, I think Hope is the one Logan that Steffy can actually punish. She can’t punish Brooke. She can’t punish Katie. So, I feel like Hope’s kind of the whipping girl for all that.

If Brooke presses Eric and Ridge to make her co-CEO, I think Steffy’s head is gonna explode. Especially if it comes out that Hope is the one who suggested that Brooke replace Steffy. I could see Steffy losing it and demanding that Ridge reject giving Brooke any more power. But of course, she may do an end run. You know, Brooke could go to Eric and talk about Steffy’s anti-Logan attitude and try and sway him because in the end, Eric is a total softie where Brooke is concerned.

Friday, May 8th on B&B: Donna Terrified for Her Family

Friday, May 8th, Donna Logan (Jennifer Gareis) is very worried that Katie is going to destroy the Logan sisterhood and family. Donna’s up at the Spencer Tower having lunch with Katie and she tells Donna that Logan needs another fashion icon and says, “You know, somebody like Hope.”

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And Donna totally loses it and says Katie can’t do it because Brooke will go berserk if Hope joins Logan. But Katie may tell her, you know, it’s up to Hope. Steffy gets even more frustrated with Hope pushing about Hope for the Future. I think Steffy may either show Hope the door or Steffy may push her to the point that Hope thinks she has no choice but to walk out.

Week of May 11th-15th on Bold and the Beautiful: Dylan’s Worried About Remy

All right, let’s talk about the week of May 11th through the 15th. Dylan worries about what Remy might do if she doesn’t help him. Dylan may feel like she has no choice but to go to Deke and advocate for Remy, but that’s a hard thing to do and it’s going to be awkward. If Dylan reveals she is Remy’s cousin, I think Deke will be off-put and if Dylan doesn’t reveal it, she’ll land in trouble later. So, she may just start out by feeling Deke out, kind of seeing where his head is at.

Will Spencer (Crew Morrow) might freak out if he sees Remy creeping around Dylan. And of course, Electra will be horrified. This is also the perfect chance for RJ Forrester (Brayan Nicoletti) to play hero because Electra just told him that Will saved her from Remy. So RJ may want to one-up Will and make sure Remy can’t get close to Electra again.

Bold and the Beautiful Spoilers: Steffy Forrester (Jacqueline MacInnes Wood) - Liam Spencer (Scott Clifton)Bold and the Beautiful Spoilers: Steffy Forrester (Jacqueline MacInnes Wood) - Liam Spencer (Scott Clifton)
Bold and the Beautiful Spoilers: Steffy Forrester – Liam Spencer  

Bold and the Beautiful Spoilers: Brooke Rocks the Boat

Brooke may nudge Ridge to put her into a position of greater power. I don’t think he would necessarily mind if that didn’t mean pushing Steffy aside, but Brooke may convince Ridge that Steffy’s judgment is askew. Bottom line, Ridge is caught between a rock and a hard place. In other words, Brooke versus Steffy. I expect Hope is going to decide that Logan is her future.

She may be wishing that Brooke can be co-CEO and revive her line, but since that seems unlikely, Hope may decide she has no choice but to go over and work with Katie, Liam, and Bill Spencer (Don Diamont) because she can’t work under these conditions.

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When Will Deke Get Involved on B&B?

I also wonder at what point somebody is going to go talk to Deke, whether it’s Hope or it’s Liam. You know, if Hope’s still unsure about making the move, Liam may talk to Deke about the opportunity, knowing that he may press Hope to take the job. That way, Deke can come along and get back to his dream of fashion designing. And we know that Hope and Deke loved working together. I expect that Liam is going to convince Hope and he will be thrilled when she formally steps away from Forrester Creations and over to Logan. But of course, that’s going to cause a lot of explosions among the Forresters and the Logans.

And of course, we’re still waiting on Sheila Carter (Kimberlin Brown), Deacon Sharpe (Sean Kanan), and Taylor Hayes (Rebecca Budig) to pop up again, but I’m assuming that they are on the back burner until May sweeps is over, just based on the zero presence they’ve had during sweeps. And that wraps on Wednesday, May 20th, the week after the one we’re discussing. So maybe we’ll circle back around to these other characters then.

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General Hospital Early Spoilers May 11-15: Dante Devastated & Sonny Makes Big Mistake!

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General Hospital Spoilers: Dante Falconeri (Dominic Zamprogna) - Sonny Corinthos (Maurice Benard)

General Hospital early weekly spoilers for May 11th through the 15th have Dante Falconeri (Dominic Zamprogna) reeling from a stunning revelation. While Sonny Corinthos (Maurice Benard) seems to be dead wrong about something and may make a huge mistake soon.

We have got sizzling stuff for Dante, Sonny and also the panic spreading about Josslyn Jacks (Eden McCoy) going missing. And as we always do on early edition day, we start with what happens the rest of this week, then we’ll dive into what is going on the week of May 11th. So, let’s get right to it.

General Hospital Spoilers Wednesday, May 6th

Wednesday, May 6th, we’ve got Britt Westbourne (Kelly Thiebaud) completely stunned by something. So, I’m kind of expecting Cassius Faison (Ryan Paevey) to stop by and tell Britt, “Oh, you know what? I took care of that pesky Josslyn issue and she won’t be a problem anymore.”

I do think that he will tell his sister what he did. And I think that Britt will be horrified to find out that Cassius has kidnapped Joss, locked her up on Spoon Island, and Britt may demand that Cassius let her go. Of course, he won’t.

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At General Hospital, Isaiah Gannon (Sawandi Wilson) asks not-Nathan why he should ignore hospital protocol for him. I do wonder if Cassius is trying to get some info for his own nefarious uses or something from Isaiah to try and help Justine Turner (Nazneen Contractor) get the warrant that they want.

Sonny’s dealing with a dilemma and is telling Justine on Wednesday that this was Ric Lansing’s (Rick Hearst) last shot and he blew it. For what it’s worth, I do not think he is betraying Sonny. I do think it is something else. We’re going to do a standalone video about what’s going on with Ric. It’s too much to talk about with these early spoilers. So, look for that tomorrow.

Ethan Shaken Up on GH

So, Ethan Lovett (Nathan Dean Parsons) is hiding something and I’m sure it’s about Delilah Wilson (Lily Cardone), the mystery lady who we met for 5 seconds and then she died giving birth. Over at the Quartermaine Mansion, Harrison Chase (Josh Swickard) is telling Brook Lynn Quartermaine (Amanda Setton) and Ethan that he just can’t shake the feeling that Delilah had something to hide.

Remember, they looked into everything and there wasn’t a lot of stuff in her purse, but everything was high-end, so it was a little off. And I just wonder if there’s any chance that Ethan is little Phoebe’s father. That would make it a Spencer baby. Now, I tend to not think he is just based on his reaction to the reveal that Delilah is Phoebe’s mom.

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Meanwhile, Dante visits Elizabeth Webber (Rebecca Herbst) at General Hospital. So, Dante approaches Liz at the nurse’s station and says he has a favor to ask. Dante may also be poking around about Isaiah and be asking Liz some questions to get a warrant. Also, Laura Spencer Collins (Genie Francis) protects somebody. Looks like it’s Elizabeth.

So, Laura had just talked to Liz who asked her to check in on Aiden Spencer (Colin Cassidy) because she’s going out of town with Ric. And Laura is very worried about her dating Ric because his past and because he’s working for Sonny on the illegal side of things. But Ric tells Laura if he ends things now, Elizabeth will never give him another chance. So Laura may be pressing Ric to walk away and not put Elizabeth in any danger.

GH Spoilers Thursday, May 7th on General Hospital: Molly Gets Suspicious

Then on Thursday, May 7th, we’ve got Molly Lansing-Davis (Kristin Vaganos) getting suspicious. I wonder if this is about Ric since he is on the front burner right now. We had that secret conversation he had with Ava Jerome (Maura West) at the end of April and we didn’t get to hear hardly any of that.

So, we don’t know what it’s about. And then this week, he made that cryptic phone call. Ric called Ava while he was on the docks. I know Sonny is suspicious, but I tend to think this is something personal for Ric and has zero to do with Sonny or Jenz Sidwell (Carlo Rota) or any of that.

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Plus, we’re going to see Valentin Cassadine (James Patrick Stuart) reaching out to Nina Reeves (Cynthia Watros). So, Valentin may tell Nina that Brennan knows he’s in Port Charles. And I’m super curious if Valentin tells Nina he’s been hiding out with Carly Spencer (Laura Wright). And if he tells her that they are a couple. I bet Jack Brennan (Chris McKenna) is going to tell Nina even if Valentin doesn’t.

General Hospital Spoilers: Carly in a Panic

Plus, Carly gets some alarming information, and I think it’s that Joss is missing. Trina may call to ask if Joss is with Carly because she’s not seen her. I would expect Joss’s mom to immediately suspect that Brennan is either behind this for payback about Valentin or it’s finally come around and the WSB has put her daughter at risk.

Gio Palmieri (Giovanni Mazza) makes a pact with Trina Robinson (Tabyana Ali), maybe about helping find Joss or maybe about them performing at Charlie’s. Willow Corinthos (Katelyn MacMullen) is feeling confident in her plan, and we’ll see if this is about Michael Corinthos (Rory Gibson) or about keeping Drew Cain (Cameron Mathison) under control and locked in and keeping Elizabeth away.

GH Spoilers Friday, May 8th: Cassius Pressures Lulu

Then on Friday, May 8th, we’ve got Cassius amping up the pressure on Lulu Spencer (Alexa Havins Bruening). I think that Cassius may mention again that Lulu should send Rocco Falconeri (Finn Carr) away, but if he does, all he’s going to do is push Lulu away. After the unhinged way that Cassius attacked Joss, like super violently, those were stunt people, by the way, for that fight, and then he’s locked her away.

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I think we are seeing more of who the real Cassius Faison is at this point. Felicia Scorpio (Kristina Wagner) is supportive of Lucas and Carly has an announcement on Friday, so she may head to the PCPD to reveal that Josslyn’s missing. Sonny goes to extremes and this may involve Ric.

Plus, Dante is reeling and it could be from a chat with Liz. So, she stops by his office at the PCPD and Dante tells Liz someone else got their hands on that gun. And Liz says, “I think I know who it was.” Now, this may be about the gun that shot Drew because Elizabeth has been very suspicious about what’s going on with Drew. Or it could be about Ross Cullum (Andrew Hawkes) if Liz got a peek at Rocco’s hand injury and wants to warn his dad since she sees the kid a lot at the hospital.

General Hospital Spoilers: Dante Falconeri (Dominic Zamprogna) - Sonny Corinthos (Maurice Benard)General Hospital Spoilers: Dante Falconeri (Dominic Zamprogna) - Sonny Corinthos (Maurice Benard)
General Hospital Spoilers: Dante Falconeri – Sonny Corinthos 

Week of May 11th-15th on General Hospital

Then the week of May 11th through the 15th, we’ve got Brennan heartbroken and angry and then finding out that Josslyn is missing. He is going to be very concerned and I think he will immediately suspect that Cullum has a role in this because Joss wouldn’t stop poking the bear.

He told her to, but she wouldn’t. Jack may need to go reassure Carly that no matter what else is going on, he will find Josslyn. And he may also tell Carly that he warned Joss to leave things alone, but she kept poking into Cullum. Also, Gio stands by Emma Scorpio-Drake (Brayden Bruner) as she gets more concerned about Anna Devane (Finola Hughes).

Isaiah and Portia Robinson (Brook Kerr) enjoy some romantic time. But of course, Curtis Ashford (Donnell Turner) is about to make a lot of trouble for them. Brook lyn and Chase want to adopt Phoebe, but Ethan could be a problem. If he’s not Phoebe’s father, I’m betting that Ethan knows who is.

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Carly remains frantic because Josslyn is missing. Nobody’s seen her. I wonder if Cassius has Josslyn’s phone and is going to try and send some fake text, you know, saying she decided to leave town. I don’t think it’s something anybody will buy.

General Hospital Spoilers: Ric & Liz Get Away for Some Romance

Ric and Elizabeth head off for a romantic weekend soon and they may finally make love. I also think Ric is hiding something that Liz needs to know, but I just don’t think it is related to Sonny. Plus, we could see Lulu taking a big step back from Cassius, especially if he keeps pressuring her.

I expect that he won’t like it if Lulu taps the brakes because he is addicted to this affection and approval that he’s gotten while pretending to be Nathan. And he may start acting more like Peter August (Wes Ramsey) than Nathan. I mean, Cassius is definitely the bad twin.

Once Dante finds out that Rocco shot Cullum, he’s going to be furious that Lulu hid this from him and really angry at not Nathan, too, because they both lied to his face. Anna’s return is coming up hopefully before the end of May sweeps. we’ll get a glimpse of her. Sweeps wraps on Wednesday, May 20th. So fingers crossed.

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Hayden Panettiere Comes Out as Bisexual, Talks Dating Women

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GettyImages-1471760752-hayden-panettiere
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Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images

Hayden Panettiere is publicly revealing for the first time that she identifies as bisexual.

“The first time it even crossed my mind to touch on this subject was while I was in the process of writing this book,” Panettiere, 36, exclusively tells Us Weekly in this week’s cover story while discussing her memoir, This Is Me: A Reckoning, out May 19. In the book, Panettiere discusses her attraction to women and the moment she finally felt comfortable enough to share that aspect of her identity with the world.

“It took two years to write this book, and I did not know what I was going to feel comfortable touching on … and what stories were naturally going to come up, and the fact that that did come up, I was like, ‘Why not?’” the Nashville alum continues. “I’ve chosen to be completely brutally honest about this, and that’s something about me that I was never able to share with the world, because it was just never the right time.”

Panettiere admits that she avoided revealing her attraction to women in the past because she felt like she was “forced to be perfect at all times” when she was younger.

“I was not encouraged to just be myself,” she tells Us. “No one ever encouraged me to just be myself, and then it came, the period of time, where it felt like people coming out, especially women coming out, and saying that they were bisexual, or liked girls, was a fad.”

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Panettere says she felt “afraid” that if she came out sooner, people would see it as “jumping on the bandwagon.”

“And once again, it was always the fear of not being perfect, and what my team was going to think about it, what the public’s opinion was going to be about it,” she continues. “It was just never the right time, and it was a very difficult topic to articulate properly. I wanted to make sure that I really sat down and chose my words carefully and was able to tell my story in an honest way, that people understood. On one hand, it’s sad that I had to wait till I was 36 years old to share that part of me, but better late than never, right?”

Panettiere adds, “Now that I know that this book is coming out, and that I’ve chosen to share it with the world, I’m comfortable saying I’m bisexual. I’m comfortable to confidently say that, yes, I am bisexual. I said it!”

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Keke Palmer Opens Up About Feeling Confusion Regarding Her Sexuality


Related: Keke Palmer Says She’s Experienced ‘Confusion’ About Her Sexuality

Speaking her truth. Keke Palmer opened up about her personal journey with gender and sexuality while accepting an award at the Los Angeles LGBT Center Gala. “I’ve always been my own person, and sexuality and identity, for me, it’s always been confusion,” the Nope star, 29, said as she received the Vanguard Award — which […]

The Ice Princess star also opens up about her past experience dating women.

“It was always scary, because my life, I mean, there were paparazzi always outside, waiting for me outside, to follow me everywhere,” she recalls. “I had very little privacy, and I mean, I have dated women. It started at a very, very young age.”

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Panettiere says she was “much more into women” than men when growing up.

“But, yeah, I have explored it, but I don’t think I ever had the courage, because I hadn’t shared this with anybody,” she notes. “I didn’t really have the courage to throw myself fully, emotionally into it, because then if I did fall in love, that wasn’t something that I wanted to ever have to hide. I didn’t feel confident enough, and I was too afraid to really let that part of me explore that part of me.”

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Panettiere’s most recent public romance was with ex Brian Hickerson from 2018 to 2020. She was also previously engaged to Wladimir Klitschko, with whom she shares 11-year-old daughter Kaya, from 2013 to 2018.

This Is Me: A Reckoning hits shelves on Tuesday, May 19.

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See Jim Jones Reaction To “Sexy” Swimsuit Pics

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Jim Jones Reaction Chrissy Lampkin Swimsuit Photos Fans Debate Engagement Ring Wedding Marriage

55 WHERE? That’s the common reaction to the latest swimsuit photos Chrissy Lampkin shared on social media. But the one reaction fans are locked in on is Jim Jones‘. He had her comment section poppin’ after he jumped in to compliment his lady, asking for more than a lil’ BAWDY tease.

RELATED: Sheesh! Fans Say Chrissy Lampkin Is “Aging Backward” After Slaying In Curve-Hugging Look (VIDEO)

Chrissy Lampkin Shows Off Her Curves Beachside

Summer is still around the corner, but Chrissy Lampkin is already putting fans on notice about what to expect! On Tuesday (May 5), she dropped her first Instagram feed post since March: two photos and a video. It appears the reality TV star is on vacation after celebrating her 55th birthday on April 27. It’s unclear if Jim Jones joined Lampkin on her getaway!

The first photo shows her posing against a glass balcony wall. Clear ocean water, sand and palm trees are visible in the background. Meanwhile, Chrissy herself is serving body -ody -ody -ody. In that first photo, she’s wearing a black swimsuit with a cutout that reaches across her midsection, exposing her belly button. One side of the swimsuit features a train of what appears to be black beads or braided material. She elevated her beach look with gold hoops, layered gold necklaces and gold bracelets. And the nails and toes? All white! Her second image is a mid-shot, showing her holding a straw hat to her chest while slightly smirking. Her caption reads, “In My Element 🌴☀️🌊.” Also, in the comment section, she wrote, “Thank you for all the birthday love ❤️.” 

Jim Jones Shares Risqué Reaction To Chrissy’s New Photos

Amid 3,700 comments was one from her longtime boo, Jim Jones. He commented, “What under tht hat sexy 👀😎,,” referencing her second image. It doesn’t seem like she’s publicly responded to his compliment. Still, his comment picked up over 500 likes, and 44 replies in 21 hours. While some appeared to be sarcastic responses telling him to look at the first photo, others brought up the never-ending topic of marriage.

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@mommabsoulkitchen replied, “BRUH IM 60 YEARS OLD I THINK ITS TIME TO PUT A RING ON IT SHE THE MOST CLASSIEST LADY ON TV N BEAUTIFUL.”

“@jimjonescapo a ring marry her neowww than invite Me to wedding because I’m do the nails🫣,” @arrogantnailsss added.

“Marriage isn’t for everyone they already common law married anyway if it ain’t broke then don’t fix it,” @kiyasbodyscultping replied amid debates about whether it’s “too late.”

Meanwhile, @bronxraisedme speculated that they might’ve already tied the knot in some way or another. He wrote, “Look like a ring is on her finger 🤷🏾‍♂️.”

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What’s Up With Jim & Chrissy Getting Married? 

The couple started dating in the mid-2000s and later appeared on the show, ‘Love & Hip Hop: New York.’ During the season one finale in 2011, Jim Jones finally proposed after several episodes made the topic of marriage  their storyline. Earlier in that season, she had proposed to him first, a moment fans still highlight! Despite getting a ring in 2011, no public record of a marriage has ever surfaced.

Eight years after the proposal, Chrissy Lampkin shared she had moved on from the idea of marrying Jim Jones. She made the comments during a 2019 guest appearance on ‘The Real.’ Lampkin emphasized that she no longer felt pressured by outsiders to get hitched and that getting married was no longer “a priority.” She added, “We’re good right now.”

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Then in 2022, a circulating clip of the couple on vacation showed them discussing marriage. In it, she says she does not want to marry him. Then, she proceeds to explain that he can be mean, cold and distant while requiring her to be “loving, sexual, crazy, cook..” It’s unclear where they both stand on marriage in 2026. Last year, he opened up about how they met.

RELATED: Jim Jones Reveals How Chrissy Reacted To Ciara Interrupting His Recent Interview To Urge Him To Put A Ring On It (VIDEOS)

What Do You Think Roomies?

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Brendan Fraser Officially Returns to Sci-Fi Ahead of ‘The Mummy 4’

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Brendan Fraser Officially Returns to Sci-Fi Ahead of 'The Mummy 4'

The ever-busy Brendan Fraser is blasting off for his next film. Amidst a successful career revival that saw him win a Best Oscar Academy Award for The Whale, the Mummy star is set to star in a new science fiction adventure. The film is being shopped at the Cannes Film Market this month.

According to reports, Fraser will star in Starman, which is not a remake of the 1984 John Carpenter science fiction romance. Fraser will play Tom Adams, a scientific visionary who’s leading a historic mission to Mars. Along the way, however, something goes wrong, and he finds himself stranded millions of miles from Earth. Soon, he’s on a quest for survival, driven not only by self-preservation but by love. The film is written and directed by Josh Wakely in his feature film debut; Wakely is the creator of the Netflix animated series Beat Bugs and Motown Magic. It is expected to begin production this summer.











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Collider Exclusive · Sci-Fi Survival Quiz
Which Sci-Fi World Would You Survive?
The Matrix · Mad Max · Blade Runner · Dune · Star Wars
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Five universes. Five completely different ways the future went wrong — or sideways, or up in flames. Only one of them is the world your instincts were built for. Eight questions will figure out which dystopia, galaxy, or desert wasteland you’d actually make it out of alive.

💊The Matrix

🔥Mad Max

🌧️Blade Runner

🏜️Dune

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🚀Star Wars

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01

You sense something is deeply wrong with the world around you. What do you do?
The first instinct is often the truest one.





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02

In a world of scarcity, what resource do you guard most fiercely?
What we protect reveals what we believe survival actually requires.





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03

What kind of threat keeps you up at night?
Fear is useful data — if you’re honest about what you’re actually afraid of.





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04

How do you deal with authority you don’t trust?
Every dystopia has a power structure. Your approach to it determines everything.





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05

Which environment could you actually endure long-term?
Survival isn’t just tactical — it’s physical, psychological, and very much about where you are.





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06

Who do you want in your corner when things fall apart?
The company you keep is the clearest signal of who you actually are.





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07

Where do you draw the line — if you draw one at all?
Every survivor eventually faces a moment that tests what they’re actually made of.





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08

What would actually make survival worth it?
Staying alive is one thing. Having a reason to is another.





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Your Fate Has Been Calculated
You’d Survive In…

Your answers point to the world your instincts were built for. This is the universe your temperament, your survival instincts, and your particular brand of stubbornness were made for.

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The Resistance, Zion

The Matrix

You took the red pill a long time ago — probably before anyone offered it to you. You’re a systems thinker who can’t help but notice the seams in things.

  • You’re drawn to understanding how the system works before figuring out how to break it.
  • You’d find the Resistance, or it would find you — your instinct for spotting constructed realities is the machines’ worst nightmare.
  • You function best when you have access to information and the freedom to act on it.
  • The Matrix built an airtight prison. You’d be the one probing the walls for the door.

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The Wasteland

Mad Max

The wasteland doesn’t reward the clever or the well-connected — it rewards those who are hard to kill and harder to break. That’s you.

  • You don’t need comfort, community, or a cause larger than the next horizon.
  • You need a vehicle, a clear threat, and enough fuel to outrun it — and you’re good at all three.
  • You are unsentimental enough to survive that world, and decent enough — just barely — to be something more than another raider.
  • In the wasteland, that distinction is everything.

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Los Angeles, 2049

Blade Runner

You’d survive here because you know how to exist in moral grey areas without losing yourself completely.

  • You read people accurately, keep your circle small, and ask the questions others prefer not to answer.
  • In a city where humanity is a legal designation rather than a feeling, you hold onto something that keeps you functional.
  • You’re not a hero. But you’re not lost, either.
  • In Blade Runner’s world, that distinction is everything.

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Arrakis

Dune

Arrakis is the most hostile environment in the known universe — and you are precisely the kind of person it rewards.

  • Patience, discipline, and political awareness are your core strengths — and on Arrakis, they’re survival tools.
  • You understand that the long game matters more than any single victory.
  • Others come to Dune and are consumed by it. You’d learn its logic and earn its respect.
  • In time, you wouldn’t just survive Arrakis — you’d begin to reshape it.

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A Galaxy Far, Far Away

Star Wars

The galaxy far, far away is vast, loud, and in a constant state of violent political upheaval — and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

  • You find meaning in being part of something larger than yourself — a cause, a crew, a rebellion.
  • You’d gravitate toward the Rebellion, or the fringes, or whatever pocket of the galaxy still believes the Empire’s grip can be broken.
  • You fight — not because you have to, but because standing aside isn’t something you’re capable of.
  • In Star Wars, that willingness is what makes all the difference.
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What Has Brendan Fraser Appeared in Lately?

Last year, Fraser starred in Rental Family, the tale of an American actor in Japan who hires himself out as a stand-in family member. This summer, he’ll star in Pressure, the true story of the most consequential weather forecast in history: Andrew Scott plays James Stagg, the meteorologist who was tasked with predicting whether the elements would cooperate with the D-Day invasion in 1944, while Fraser plays General Dwight D. Eisenhower. This year, he’s also starring alongside Bill Murray, Dustin Hoffman, Vicky Krieps, and Andy Garcia (who also directs) in the crime drama Diamond; it will premiere at the Cannes Film Festival this month. Further in the distance, Fraser will return to one of his most iconic roles in a new sequel to The Mummy; he’ll be joined by Rachel Weisz and John Hannah in a new entry of the classic supernatural adventure series. He has also signed on to star in Barry Levinson‘s Assassination, a mystery thriller centering around the assassination of John F. Kennedy.

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Starman will be produced by Eddie Vaisman of Sight Unseen, who produced Rental Family. Wakely and Rebecca Graham also produce for Grace: A Storytelling Company. Screenwriter David S. Goyer (The Dark Knight) will executive produce along with Tarek Sherif, Ryan Graves, and Sight Unseen’s Julia Lebedev.

Starman will be shopped to buyers at the Cannes Film Festival, and will begin production this summer. Stay tuned to Collider for future updates.

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The Bloodiest And Sexiest Historical Epic Series Is Now On Netflix

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The Bloodiest And Sexiest Historical Epic Series Is Now On Netflix

By Jonathan Klotz
| Published

If your Roman Empire is the Roman Empire, you’ve already seen Spartacus. Not the 1960 film with Kirk Douglas. The bloody, violent, sex-filled Starz series that took the world by storm in 2010 and proved the overlooked cable network was capable of hanging with Showtime and HBO. 

Now that it’s on Netflix, the award-winning, over-the-top pulp hit is going to be your next binge. That is, if you can get past the first three episodes. Even in 2010, they weren’t great, but after that, the series kicks into high gear, and for three seasons, multiple spin-offs, betrayals, murders, and lots of sex, it never lets up.

The Roman Empire Like You’ve Never Seen It Before

Spartacus

Spartacus, like most gladiator stories, starts off with the Romans betraying a man, kidnapping his wife, and forcing him to fight in the Colosseum as a gladiator. The unnamed Thracen (Andy Whitfield) is dubbed Spartacus by his owner Batiatus (The Mummy’s John Hannah), after the legendary Thracen king. With the promise he’ll be reunited with his wife, Spartacus fights in the gladiator pits for Batiatus, entertaining the Roman elite, including Batiatus’ wife, Lucretia (Lucy Lawless). It’s all going great for the Romans until Spartacus’ wife turns up dead, Batiatus is found responsible, and with nothing left to lose, Spartacus decides to “kill them all.” 

It’s a simple story, but it’s effective. The gladiator rebellion leads to some of the most satisfying deaths you’ll ever see on screen, and since it was on Starz, there’s no sugarcoating the bloody violence that hits the streets of ancient Rome. Spartacus: Blood and Sand is only the beginning, but it’s not the beginning, as Starz turned the series into a franchise with a prequel (Spartacus: Gods of the Arena) and more recently, a sequel series exploring an alternate timeline (Spartacus: House of Ashur). 

Behind The Scenes Tragedy Changed Everything

Spartacus

When the star of Spartacus: Blood and Sand, Andy Whitfield, revealed he had lymphoma following the filming of the first season, Starz did what no other studio would do and decided to rework all of their plans to support him. Pivoting to the prequel, Gods of the Arena, featuring Batiatus, Lucretia, and Crixius (Arrow’s Manu Bennett), they wanted to give Whitfield time to beat cancer and come back. Sadly, he passed away 18 months after his diagnosis, leading to Spartacus being recast with Liam McIntyre. 

The show went on for two more seasons, dubbed Vengeance and War of the Damned, both of which include more of what made the first season so great: blood, sex, pulpy action, and ridiculous campy dialogue. This is not a high-brow Shakespearean take on the Roman Empire, which means you’re either going to love it, or hate it. There is no middle ground when it comes to Spartacus

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There’s Nothing Like Spartacus

Spartacus

Spartacus takes a little bit to get going, and in those initial three episodes, you’ll see some of the worst greenscreen effects imaginable. The initial battle between the Thracians and the Getae looks like it takes place on the set of a community theater. But stick with it; the reward is a series that ends up finding its way, and Rome has never looked better than in War of the Damned.

The entire series is currently streaming on Netflix, and yes, it is uncensored, which means all the nudity (both male and female) is uncut. If you binge Spartacus and still need more, House of Ashur recently wrapped up its first season, and there’s more on the way. 


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‘Hocus Pocus 3’ Officially Gets the Scream-Worthy Update Fans Have Been Waiting For

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Kathy Najimy, Bette Midler, and Sarah Jessica Parker wickedly smiling in Hocus Pocus 2

This article covers a developing story. Continue to check back with us as we will be adding more information as it becomes available.

We are so back, witches. It’s been a tumultuous three years since Hocus Pocus 3 was first announced to be in development at Disney, with numerous updates from Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and other members of the cast about another return for the Sanderson Sisters. Although things appeared to be trending in the wrong direction for a moment, a new report confirms that the House of Mouse has officially cast a spell and brought the threequel back into early development. All three of Midler, Parker, and Kathy Najimy are also attached to reprise their witchy roles under Disney Live-Action Studios.

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01617992_poster_w780.jpg

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Release Date

September 27, 2022

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Runtime

107 minutes

Director
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Anne Fletcher

Writers

Mick Garris, Blake Harris, David Kirschner, Jen D’Angelo

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Producers

Lynn Harris, Aldric La’Auli Porter, Steven Haft

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    Sarah Jessica Parker

    Sarah Sanderson

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This article covers a developing story. Continue to check back with us as we will be adding more information as it becomes available.

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Josh Duggar Exposes Family’s ‘Actions’ In Explosive Messages

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The Duggar Family

Josh Duggar is lashing out at his parents from behind bars, accusing them of playing roles that led to his conviction for minor abuse.

In a series of heated messages, the former reality star claimed that his mother and father have failed to take responsibility for the impact of their past decisions on his life. 

These explosive allegations surface as Josh continues to maintain his innocence regarding the criminal charges that led to his lengthy prison sentence.

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The Duggar Family
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In a collection of intense text messages obtained by People Magazine, Josh expressed deep resentment toward his parents, Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar, following his conviction for possessing child sexual abuse materials. 

In texts written a week after receiving a 151-month prison sentence, Josh told his mother that he felt the family’s public relations efforts and attempts to save their television shows were consistently prioritized over actual family bonds.

He criticized his parents for trying to “look good” to the public rather than showing genuine concern for him or the reality of his legal situation. 

“[I] am very disappointed. I feel like you just don’t receive criticism or take admission for your own actions THAT HAVE DIRECTLY AFFECTED (sic) MY LIFE, including in this situation,” Josh wrote.

Josh argued that his parents refuse to accept criticism or admit to actions that he believes directly affected his life, leading to his current troubles.

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Throughout the exchange, Josh continued to proclaim his innocence, insisting that another individual at his car dealership was responsible for downloading the illegal content found on his computer. He told his mother that she did not know the “truth” and accused her of blaming him for a crime he claims he did not commit. 

Josh Duggar Faces Third Sentence Extension

Are Josh And Anna Duggar In A Covenant Marriage?
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The tension between Josh and his parents comes as his time behind bars continues to grow due to repeated disciplinary issues. Although he was originally scheduled for release in August 2032, his stay at FCI Seagoville in Texas has been extended for a third time. 

The Blast previously reported that the Federal Bureau of Prisons added two more months to his sentence, pushing his official release date to February 2, 2033.

This latest setback reportedly follows another “rules violation,” which his cousin, Amy Duggar King, claimed landed the former reality star back in solitary confinement.

Notably, this is not the first time Josh’s conduct has resulted in extra jail time, as he previously received an extension for possessing a contraband cell phone. 

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Josh Duggar Defended His Younger Brother Amid New Arrest

Joseph Duggar booking photo, a married father-of-four and the younger brother of convicted sex offender Josh Duggar was arrested on Wednesday in connection with allegations that he touched a nine-year-old girl on her underwear and genitals.
Washington County Sheriff’s Dept. / MEGA

As Josh’s prison stay lengthens, the eldest Duggar brother is also speaking out about the new legal crisis hitting his immediate family.

While serving his own sentence in Texas, Josh publicly defended his younger brother, Joseph, who is currently facing child molestation charges in Florida. 

Through his legal team, Josh shared his perspective on the allegations, drawing parallels between Joseph’s situation and his own experiences within the criminal justice system. He made it clear that he does not believe the claims brought against Joseph, dismissing the allegations as “sensationalized fiction,” per The Blast.

Speaking through his attorney, the 38-year-old suggested that the charges are the result of targeting a public figure for publicity rather than reflecting the truth. 

Joseph Duggar Wrote Some Emotional Letters from Jail

Joseph and Kendra Duggar
Instagram | Joseph and Kendra Duggar

While Josh remains focused on his own legal defense and the “stigma” of his conviction, Joseph has reportedly adopted a more apologetic tone through personal correspondence. 

From his jail cell, the younger Duggar brother reportedly reached out to several family members in a series of emotional letters. According to an insider, Joseph’s letters are filled with expressions of shame and regret.

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He reportedly admitted to his relatives that he had brought embarrassment upon the entire family and stated clearly that he was “ashamed of himself.” 

The Blast reported that the 31-year-old also acknowledged the growing rift between him and his loved ones, noting that he understands why some family members currently have no desire to speak with him.

Joseph Duggar Demands Evidence In New Court Filing

Joseph Duggar booking photo
Bay County Jail/MEGA

Joseph’s apparent remorse in his personal letters has not stopped his legal team from aggressively challenging the prosecution’s case.

In a new move to clear his name, the former reality star is now demanding full transparency regarding the evidence and the people who handled the investigation. 

According to The Blast, Joseph’s attorneys filed a formal motion in a Florida court, seeking a subpoena to force the disclosure of all data collected during the early stages of the child abuse inquiry.

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Joseph’s defense team is seeking authority to interrogate individuals from multiple agencies, including the Child Protection Team and the Department of Children & Families.

They are also looking to question law enforcement and protective services across state lines in Arkansas to ensure they have access to every detail gathered before Joseph was taken into custody. 

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Unrated, Ultra-Violent Western Squirts And Screams Across The Screen

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Unrated, Ultra-Violent Western Squirts And Screams Across The Screen

By TeeJay Small
| Published

If you’re a fan of violent horror films, you’ve probably seen your fair share of simulated blood and gore. From shootouts, to monster flicks, to brutal car crashes with glass streaming across the dashboard, it can be difficult to shock modern audiences.

Even still, 2015’s Bone Tomahawk is one of the most jaw-droppingly violent movies I’ve ever encountered, offering some truly horrific visual effects, gripping performances, and a terrifying ending that will keep you awake for days.

Squirting And Screaming

Bone Tomahawk 2015

Bone Tomahawk was written and directed by brutalist filmmaker and certified sicko S. Craig Zahler. Despite being his directorial debut, and working with a shoestring budget, Zahler managed to drum up tremendous support for his script, courting the likes of Kurt Russell, Patrick Wilson, Richard Jenkins, and David Arquette in the leading roles. The film centers on a small-town sheriff and his gang of cowboys as they attempt to rescue a group of civilians from a clan of bloodthirsty cannibals.

As the gunslingers venture forth into no-man’s land, they realize that they’re being hunted by the cannibal tribe, known only as the Troglodytes. Against the advice of everyone, from the local anthropologist to members of other local native tribes, the gang attempts to save the hostages, only to be dismantled in increasingly horrific ways. As the narrative of Bone Tomahawk progresses, the main characters are scalped, tortured, and dragged through the desert squirting blood and screaming. Most of the horror unfolds in broad daylight, too, which gives the film a very unique and visually interesting palette compared to other horror slashers.

So Beyond Violent, We Can’t Even Show It Here

Bone Tomahawk 2015

There’s genuinely no way for me to oversell how violent this movie is. It’s more like a snuff film than a traditional western, making it a perfect watch for the horror fan that feels like they’ve seen it all. After Bone Tomahawk released, it quickly gained status as a cult classic, paving the way for S. Craig Zahler to helm additional ultra-violent outings such as Brawl in Cell Block 99 and Dragged Across Concrete.

Personally, I’ve always been a big fan of the Western genre, though many old school Westerns are too corny and straightforward for modern viewing. Bone Tomahawk takes the idea of a Western and turns it on its head, giving you a shocking change of pace that makes the film feel unlike anything else. Today, the film has a near-perfect 91 percent critic score on Rotten Tomatoes, and no official rating from the MPAA. That’s probably for the best, because I don’t even know how you’d begin to rate something like this.

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Bone Tomahawk 2015

If you’re interested in checking out Bone Tomahawk today, and you don’t have a particularly weak stomach, be sure to give this one a spin on Hulu. Afterwards, be sure to watch something less gruesome to wind down, like Kill Bill, or a World War II documentary.

Bone Tomahawk 2015


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How Star Trek Was Destroyed: The Full History Of Its Modern Ruination

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How Star Trek Was Destroyed: The Full History Of Its Modern Ruination

By Joshua Tyler
| Published

Star Trek has never been at a lower point. The franchise’s last batch of shows received almost no ratings, and the brand’s total mismanagement became so bad that it drove away existing Trekkies while failing to attract any new viewers.

With no clear plan to turn it around, Star Trek has been shut down. It’s done. It’s finished. There’s nothing new in production, and there aren’t firm plans to make anything more. Paramount has torn down all its existing sets, and they’re currently auctioning off the Discovery-verse props to the highest bidders, and there aren’t many bidders.

Watch the video version of this article.

Star Trek has been in a place where there’s nothing new coming before; in fact, it’s happened twice previously in the franchise’s history. But this time it’s different. Those previous Star Trek dark periods happened because of either Hollywood underestimating its potential or a cooling fan interest.

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Star Trek enters this new dark age, drowning in hatred and indifference. Trekkies are so burned they’re now happy to see it go, convinced that no Star Trek at all is better than watching their favorite thing ruined over and over and over again. Things got that bad. It means getting out of this mess, if Star Trek ever does, will be harder than ever. 

What happened? What went wrong? More than a year ago, we tried to find the answer, but since then, things have gotten so, so much worse. Our warnings weren’t heeded, and now the end times are here.

To find out how Trek can get out of this darkest of all timelines, we’re going to have to take some risks. Luckily, risk is our business. What follows is the full and complete history of how Star Trek self-destructed.

All Of This Has Happened Before

To find the answers we need, we’ll need to visit the Guardian of Forever and peer deep into Star Trek’s past. The year is 2017. Star Trek had been off television for 12 years. The last Trek release, Star Trek: Beyond, turned out to be a box-office disappointment.

Paramount devised a bold new plan to revitalize Star Trek with a prequel series.

Oh, wait, they’d just done that. The entire 2009 Star Trek movie franchise was a prequel.

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But that was on the big screen; this time, it would be different. This time it wasn’t a movie, it was a television series. 

Oh, wait, they already did that, too. It was called Enterprise, and Paramount pulled the plug on that show after four seasons. 

That very recent past somehow totally forgotten, Paramount moved forward with another prequel, their third attempt in a row at making a Star Trek prequel happen. The focus of the plan was that it serve as a flagship show for their new streaming service, CBS All Access.

Oh, wait, they’d already tried that, too. When Paramount launched its own television network in the 1990s, it created Star Trek: Voyager to serve as its flagship program. The UPN network ceased broadcasting in 2005.

Third, and I guess also second, time was not the charm. These obviously stupid decisions began the worst chapter in Star Trek’s history: The Disco era.

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Star Trek Enters The Disco Era With Brian Fuller

The Disco era of Star Trek did not actually begin in the era of disco, the ‘70s, no matter what Bones’ outfit from The Motion Picture might have you believe. The Disco era began with the debut of Star Trek: Discovery in 2017. It ended, spiritually at least, with the cancellation of Starfleet Academy in 2026, a television show widely agreed to be one of the worst things ever made.

Discovery was created by a man named Brian Fuller. Fuller was a well-known television writer and producer. He’d written for both Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and Star Trek: Voyager in the 90s. Since then, he’d established himself as a much sought-after talent, creating critically acclaimed series like Pushing Daisies and Hannibal.

Fuller had the right resume, and so, Paramount hired him to create a new Star Trek series. His initial pitch was for an anthology series, with “diversity” as a focus, and a dark, gritty tone inspired by Game of Thrones.

That’s right, Brian Fuller wanted to turn Gene Roddenberry’s bright and hopeful view of the future into dark, gritty, and violent Game of Thrones

Fuller worked on the show for 9 months. His tenure was marked by missed deadlines and ever-expanding budgets. Paramount clashed with him over his desire to reboot Star Trek into a gritty Game of Thrones knockoff. The company wanted its brand to stick with the traditions that made Star Trek work, and Fuller wanted to warp it into something entirely different.

Eventually, Paramount grew fed up with Fuller and fired him.

Fuller’s Ghost Pushes Star Trek: Discovery Forward

Aside from the fact that no lessons were learned from their previous failures, Paramount had up til this point made at least some reasonable decisions on this project that, probably never should have happened in the first place. Hiring Fuller didn’t work out, but on paper, it should have. And when Fuller failed, Paramount made another good decision by firing him. Paramount’s good decisions stop here.

They replaced Fuller with Gretchen J. Berg & Aaron Harberts. Berg & Harberts were Fuller’s people. They’d worked with him on past projects and were already helping him make Discovery. The ideas Fuller was implementing, the terrible ideas that got him fired, were also their ideas. So they stayed the course and kept working on their Game of Thrones-ification of Star Trek.

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Eventually, Berg & Harberts were also fired, amidst accusations of abuse towards the show’s writers.

Alex Kurtzman Seizes Control Of Star Trek

Alex Kurtzman was put in Berg & Harbert’s place. Kurtzman was the man most responsible for the worst of the recent Star Trek movies, Star Trek: Into Darkness. He now held the future of the entire franchise in his hands. He would remain in charge not just of Discovery, but of the entire Star Trek franchise, throughout the Disco era.

By then, production on Star Trek: Discovery was pretty far along. Kurtzman made tweaks to satisfy some of Paramount’s concerns, but much of what the show would be was already written in stone. 

Discovery was the most expensive series Star Trek ever produced. Paramount could have trashed it and taken a tax write-off, but that’s tough to do with so much money on the line. So they released it.

Star Trek: Discovery Arrives On Streaming And Gets Quarantined

Star Trek: Discovery was poorly received by fans from the beginning. Critics initially praised it, but critics rarely watch shows beyond the first one or two episodes. They ignore it after that, which makes their reviews meaningless. 

Reports of Discovery’s ratings were vague and unreliable. Most indications were that after an initially strong showing, people began abandoning the show.

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Paramount took note and tried making big changes for season 2. They brought in Anson Mount to play Christopher Pike, and Mount was fantastic. 

Unfortunately, the rest of the show was still the show it was always designed to be. Adding one good character to a terrible show cannot save it. 

Stuck with a show no one liked, Paramount did the only thing they could do besides cancel it: They quarantined the entire series, separating it from the rest of Star Trek. They did that by time-jumping Star Trek: Discovery so far into the future that nothing it did could have any further impact on the franchise.

Strange New Worlds Rights Discovery’s Wrongs

Then, they created a spinoff called Star Trek: Strange New Worlds for Pike to rescue him from Discovery’s sinking ship. Though his new series was technically an extension of the Disco-verse, it quickly went to work differentiating itself from Discovery and the mistakes it had made. Strange New Worlds even fixed the Klingons.

That new direction should have been it for the Disco era. The franchise forked away from it; Paramount was working on other Star Trek shows. Discovery limped onward but was soon canceled after five seasons of disinterest

But as Discovery was canceled, Strange New Worlds soon morphed into something different. 

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Strange New Worlds Becomes A Vaudeville Act For Theater Kids

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds Season 2 was a distinct decline in quality from season one. By season three, the show had become a vaudeville act for theater kids, filled with musical episodes, puppet episodes, and endless silliness, which had nothing to do with Star Trek. 

Paramount finally had enough. With season 3 still airing and two more seasons completed and awaiting airtime, Paramount pulled the plug. The remaining two seasons would eventually be allowed to stream because they’d already been completed, but the sets were torn down and thrown in the trash. 

Michelle Yeoh Wins An Oscar And Changes Everything

Amidst all of this, Alex Kurtzman had been trying to make a Star Trek: Section 31 spinoff since the first season of Discovery. His plan centered on a widely disliked Star Trek: Discovery character, played by actress Michelle Yeoh. 

Fans hated the idea, and no one at Paramount seemed particularly excited about it. They prioritized Strange New Worlds over it, and while a Section 31 series was announced, it never went into full production. Kurtzman’s last update stated clearly that Section 31 was now a very low priority.

And then, in March of 2023, Michelle Yeoh won an Oscar. 

In April of 2023, Star Trek: Section 31 went into full production as a full-length feature film. Oscar-winning tends to have that effect.

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The Worst Star Trek Movie

In January of 2025, Star Trek: Section 31 arrived as a direct-to-streaming movie on Paramount+. It was the first Star Trek movie released in nearly a decade. It’s now the worst-reviewed movie in the entire Star Trek canon, and audiences have given it an appalling 15% fresh score on Rotten Tomatoes. 

Star Trek: Section 31 begins when a spitwad flies across the screen, tracing the shape of the Starfleet logo. Viewers would later learn that Spitwad is actually the movie’s hero ship, but that knowledge doesn’t make it any better. 

The movie revolves around Michelle Yeoh’s Philippa character, a woman responsible for numerous acts of genocide, and she’s not sorry about any of it. The movie quickly confirms her status as a monster with a flashback, in which she exterminates her entire family for a job promotion, where she’ll get to spend decades committing galactic massacres and torturing the man she loves for fun. This murderous abomination is Philippa Georgiou, played by Michelle Yeoh on Star Trek: Discovery.

Star Trek Endorses Genocide And Cannibalism

The movie flashes forward to a present where she runs a floating space bar. We’re reintroduced to her while the soundtrack blasts badass chick rock music to clue the audience in on the notion that we’re supposed to think she’s really, really awesome, despite being an unapologetic slaughterer of innocents. 

Then Georgiou pops a human eyeball into her mouth and savors its taste as the music swells and the camera swirls around her in adoration. Yes, Star Trek: Section 31 is selling the idea of cannibalistic mass murder being super cool, as long as it’s done in high heels. It’s the entire premise of this film. 

Hooray for space Hitler?

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There are other characters in Section 31, but they’re no better. The super cool Section 31 spy team engages in introductions by shouting at each other, making threats, and posing for the camera. Like Georgiou, they’re also mostly serial killers, and they’re all pretty upset they aren’t able to do more killing.

Luckily, this mission to do a thing takes place in the exact same space bar they’re already standing in. Paramount didn’t need to build any other sets for their heist. What a financially fortuitous coincidence. 

There’s a confusing fistfight in front of a bad green screen rendering of a blurry tunnel. A murder mystery that no one cares about. A robot gets incapacitated by being kneed in the crotch. Star Trek: Section 31 ends when Phillipa Georgiou genocides an entire universe on suspicion of possible mischief and then tells her team she’s going to kill them.

If you still have doubts about the quality of Star Trek: Section 31’s writing, please enjoy this actual line of dialogue from the movie: “She died like she lived. By that you know what I mean.” 

Alex Kurtzman Solidifies Star Trek As A Franchise For Criminals With Starfleet Academy

Using Star Trek to glorify atrocities while offering up a light endorsement of cannibalism in a movie everyone hated and no one watched should have ended the career of Alex Kurtzman and prompted a pause for self-reflection. That didn’t happen.

At the same time, he’d been pushing for this terrible Section 31 movie, Alex Kurtzman’s other pet project was a show set at Starfleet Academy. This idea had been kicking around for a long time as a way to get hot, young people on screen posing for the camera. Obviously, it’s a terrible idea; fans never liked it or wanted it. Which is why it never happened. With the failures stacking up, some coke fiend at Paramount said, ‘Why not?’ and Kurtzman made it.

Starfleet Academy begins with a hero character who is a criminal. It’s the second NuTrek series to be led by a criminal, and the third time a Star Trek project has been centered around a lawbreaker.

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A criminal past was Michael Burnham’s introduction, too, on Star Trek: Discovery

The 2009 Star Trek movie begins with a young James T. Kirk being arrested for stealing a car.

In the future, all the best people will be criminals, I guess? No more high-achieving, hardworking professionals. Something to aspire to, kids.

40,000 Viewers Per Episode Ends Star Trek

Star Trek: Starfleet Academy would go on to be the most hated thing in the history of the franchise. You might think otherwise, since Kurtzman did manage to convince critics to give it good reviews by stuffing every episode with woke political propaganda. Critics love that stuff and will praise it any time they see it.

Objective viewers and anyone who likes good writing hated it. The show has some of the lowest audience scores of any series in history.  Some reports have Starfleet Academy’s viewership as low as 40,000 tune-ins per episode. For a Star Trek show. Paramount’s flagship Star Trek show. 

Starfleet Academy was humiliation on an epic scale. Despite the fact that a second season had already been filmed, Paramount quickly waved the white flag and canceled Starfleet Academy, too.

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No Lessons Were Learned

As of this moment, that’s the end. The end of Star Trek. There’s been some vague talk from Paramount that they’re exploring ideas, but for now, they aren’t making it anymore.  It’s also the final legacy of Star Trek’s Disco era. The destruction of everything Star Trek fans loved. The destruction of a franchise 50 years in the making.

Along the way, no lessons were ever learned. Instead, mistakes were repeated over and over and over again.

Did your show about a criminal fail? Make another one. 

Did your prequel fail? Make another one. 

Did your network fail? Make another one.

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Rejecting Good Ideas Along The Way

It didn’t have to be this way. Even after Fuller’s initial Discovery plans failed, Paramount had ways to correct course.

Developing in parallel with the Disco-verse was a Star Trek animated series called Lower Decks, helmed by Rick & Morty alum Mike McMahan. The show he created was a huge success, and it had nothing at all to do with the Disco-verse. Paramount rewarded McMahan’s success by canceling the show after five seasons and firing him. 

There was also Star Trek: Prodigy, an animated series for kids, which was so beloved that fans basically forced Paramount to give it another season with a letter-writing campaign. Paramount gave in and allowed more of the show, but only begrudgingly. They didn’t put it on their streaming app, opting instead to let Netflix have it to defer costs.

Tangential to the Disco-verse was the Picard-verse, a series vanity project developed around Patrick Stewart’s Captain Picard character. The show was a standard Alex Kurtzman disaster for two seasons until the third, when Paramount turned the whole thing over to veteran TV showrunner and legit Star Trek fan, Terry Matalas.

Indications are that Kurtzman wasn’t involved in making the third season, occupied with filming his pet projects, instead. That allowed Matalas to run with it and make Picard season 3 a tribute to the thing he loved most: Actual Star Trek.

Terry jettisoned everything the series had done previously, started over, and, in the process, delivered the best Star Trek season of the modern Trek era. Fans loved it. Audience scores were through the roof.

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Matalas lobbied to be given more work, pitching a spinoff series called Star Trek: Legacy. Fans launched petitions to support him, trying to convince Paramount to hand the entire franchise over.

But Kurtzman was still firmly in charge, and if I had to guess, probably jealous over the response Matalas was getting, in comparison to the way people were deservedly shitting on him. So, he responded to that outpouring of support by firing Matalas. 

Why Star Trek Failed

That’s the current state of Star Trek. It’s dead. There are two more seasons of Strange New Worlds in the can to release, and maybe Paramount will also still release that completed second season of Starfleet Academy, but that’s it, and those last few dribbles are likely to do more harm than good since basically everyone hates all of it.

Ok, sure, the .001% of humans who spent their formative years as theater kids may like it. But is that really a demographic worth pursuing? It’s like five people, and four of them are named Skylar.

I get the impulse. The entertainment industry actually is run by theater types. By actors and drama dorks who actually really were theater kids. But that’s not who their audience is. That’s not who they’re making shows for. 

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Star Trek is supposed to be for people who like Star Trek, and instead of making that, Paramount got a bunch of theater kids together and let them turn Star Trek into something for themselves. It’s next-level narcissism. Rot from the inside. The antithesis of everything that the entertainment industry is supposed to be about.

Your job as a creative is to think outside yourself, to think beyond you to something bigger, greater, and more noble. What you create should be informed by your experiences, not imprisoned by them.

That’s what Star Trek is now: A prison. Let me out!


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