President Donald Trump took aim at frequent target Kaitlan Collins during this year’s rescheduled White House Correspondents’ Dinner.

“I want to personally congratulate CNN’s Kaitlan Collins on receiving her award. It was all about me. It’s a fake — she shouldn’t get the award, it was a fake,” Trump, 80, said during the Friday, July 24, event, which was moved to the Waldorf Astoria in Washington, D.C., following the security breach and subsequent shooting at the annual April fundraiser.

Collins, 34, was previously awarded for her coverage of the president’s contentious Oval Office meeting with Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelenskyy — an exchange that sparked fierce criticism of the president and his continued friendship with various dictators, including Russian President Vladimir Putin and North Korea’s Kim Jong Un.

“But I don’t mind, I said, ‘Kaitlan, congratulations.’ But it was fake, there’s no question about it,” the president continued, before turning his attention to Collins’ appearance. “She’s a young, attractive woman. She never smiles. I said, ‘Kaitlan, do you ever smile? Smile. You have a nice position, you’re at CNN fake news, you should be a happy person. So smile, Kaitlan, just smile.”

Related: President Donald Trump Criticizes CNN’s Kaitlan Collins for Not Smiling

President Donald Trump once again criticized CNN’s chief White House correspondent Kaitlan Collins during an Oval Office press conference on Wednesday, June 3. Trump, 79, called CNN “a very corrupt organization” before taking aim at Collins, 34, who was in attendance for the press briefing. Pointing to Collins, he described the journalist as “a corrupt […]

He added of the news anchor’s looks, “I thought Kaitlan had really made it big with a major new sponsorship, but then I informed her that it wasn’t her on the Bud Light can, it was Dylan Mulvaney.”

Trump’s decision to compare Collins to Mulvaney, a trans actress, has been wildly criticized as transphobic, as the president and his administration have repeatedly targeted trans athletes competing in women’s sports and trans youth — as well as trans adults — accessing gender-affirming care.

Us has reached out to the White House for comment.

The president’s speech at the rescheduled dinner, meant to celebrate the freedom of speech and freedom of the press, was not the first instance in which the commander-in-chief has targeted Collins and her looks specifically.

“She’s a young beautiful woman. Never smiles. I never see a smile off her face,” Trump said of the reporter during an Oval Office press conference earlier this month. “I see her standing there with hatred in her eyes, like she has hatred, because we had borders, because we have a strong military, because we cut our taxes, because we do things that everybody wanted, and then we win our election in a massive landslide.”

Related: Donald Trump Storms Out of ‘Meet the Press’ Interview Amid Jan. 6 Questions

President Donald Trump’s seemingly endless war with the media continues after the commander-in-chief abruptly ended an interview on Meet the Press. “Let’s call it quits, because I’ve had enough,” Trump, 79, told Meet the Press moderator Kristen Welker on Sunday, January 7, after the reporter questioned the president about the so-called “weaponization” fund meant to […]

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He continued at the time, “People like you have abused our people so badly. The fake news, like CNN, like The New York Times, and like others, have abused our people, have abused our people so badly.”

Two days after The New York Times published the first of two stories on the security concerns surrounding the president’s new Air Force One jet, gifted to him by Turkey, the Department of Justice (DOJ) filed subpoenas against three reporters in an attempt to force them to reveal their sources.

On Thursday, July 23, the DOJ dropped the subpoenas it filed against the reporters, admitting the administration made “legal errors,” per the Associated Press, after a federal judge criticized the DOJ for potentially violating the First Amendment.

Transformers had a one-of-a-kind premise when the first film was released. Years later, Real Steel brought a similar premise, but this time combined robots with wrestling. Then in 2013, Guillermo del Toro dropped Transformers machinery into a Godzilla-scale monster war. This new film followed two human pilots operating a skyscraper-sized weapon through a shared neural connection. While it didn’t go parabolic relative to Transformers, it still performed decently at the box office. Three years later, its sequel arrived and grossed $290.9 million worldwide against a production budget of $150 million, which was underwhelming when other costs were weighed in. That sequel is now trending in the U.S. on streaming.

It also arrived with a cast full of future stars — John Boyega was coming off the new Star Wars trilogy and Cailee Spaeny later led Priscilla and Alien: Romulus. Scott Eastwood, Rinko Kikuchi, Charlie Day, Jing Tian, and Burn Gorman round out the rest of the cast, some returning from the original like Day. Now eight years after its theatrical release, the sequel is climbing rather than merely appearing in HBO Max’s U.S. catalog. It entered the platform’s movie Top 10 at No. 6 on July 20, rose to No. 4 on July 21, and reached No. 3 on July 22. That’s not all though; the film also sat in the ballpark of Top 20 films in Mongolia and Zimbabwe.

The franchise is Pacific Rim, and we’re talking about Pacific Rim: Uprising, Steven S. DeKnight’s 2018 sequel, with del Toro producing rather than directing. Boyega plays Jake Pentecost, the estranged son of Idris Elba’s Stacker Pentecost, who returns to the Pan-Pacific Defense Corps when a new Kaiju threat emerges. Spaeny’s teenage engineer Amara Namani builds her own Jaeger from scraps, while Kikuchi returns as Mako Mori, and Charlie Day’s Newt Geiszler becomes central to the invasion. The movie holds just a 42% score on Rotten Tomatoes and a 5.6/10 on IMDb, yet it still has managed to find streaming success on HBO Max almost a decade later.

Why ‘Pacific Rim 3’ Didn’t Happen

The first Pacific Rim earned $411 million worldwide against a reported $190 million budget, and scored 72% on Rotten Tomatoes. Those numbers were respectable enough to justify another attempt, especially with $309 million coming from outside North America. Uprising then fell to $290.9 million worldwide on a $150 million budget, while its domestic gross dropped from $101.8 million to $59.9 million. Its critical reception wasn’t good either and, at the time of writing, has collapsed to 42%, with audiences giving it only 36% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Director Steven S. DeKnight later summarized the franchise’s problem directly and said that the films are “really, really expensive.” His proposed third movie would have united Jaegers and liberated Kaiju before opening the franchise into a multiverse. During an interview to Syfy, S. DeKnight also went on to add that he “would personally love to see Guillermo del Toro return and do a third one.” While that hasn’t happened so far, the franchise’s story was later continued with a comics trilogy.

Pacific Rim: Uprising is currently trending on HBO Max in the U.S. Stay tuned to Collider for more updates.

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Release Date

March 23, 2018

Runtime

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111 minutes

Director

Steven S. DeKnight

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Writers

Emily Carmichael, Kira Snyder, Steven S. DeKnight, T.S. Nowlin, Travis Beacham

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Producers

Guillermo del Toro, Jon Jashni, Mary Parent, Cale Boyter, Thomas Tull, Femi Oguns

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Jennifer Lopez doesn’t shy away from making a statement, especially when she’s out and about in Europe. The “Save Me Tonight” singer was spotted walking around Paris wearing an effortlessly chic all-white outfit that simply stunned. However, we couldn’t help but look down at her brown mule pumps style that contrasted beautifully with her neutral getup. Naturally, we rushed to Amazon to find a similar style for just $39.

If you ask Us, the Office Romance actress and producer made her high-end heels the star of the show. Her long dress guided our eyes right down to her $895 mule heels, which also paired so well with her dark chocolate Hermès Kelly Bag and gold cross pendant necklace. And while we don’t have a star-studded budget, we certainly have $39 to spare, which is how much these lookalikes cost on Amazon.

Get the Boegbnw Open-Toe Stilettos for $39 at Amazon! Please note, prices are accurate as of the publishing date but are subject to change.

Unlike the high-end heels Lopez wore, these affordable mules are ones you’ll actually feel comfortable strolling through Paris in or walking to your neighborhood bar. They look almost identical with a sharp, pointed toe, modern transparent strap and thin heel, so you’re basically twinning with J.Lo. The main difference? The comfort factor.

Designed with a cushioned insole and a 3.34-inch heel, these mules are surprisingly easy to wear. They also have an anti-slip bottom for stability while you get from point A to point B. And if you’re worried the transparent strap might rub, guess again. Reviewers swear the shoes have a blister-resistant design, so no rubbing here!

Plus, several shoppers who own the Boegbnw pointed heels confirm that they’re totally walkable. In fact, one reviewer wore the heels for their birthday and said their “feet didn’t hurt at all.” They continued, “I feel like the they are really good and could last a long time.”

To channel Lopez, we recommend going with the brown-toned color but there are so many options to choose from. There are multiple color options as well as strap styles (transparent, opaque and solid). Oh, and the shoes also come in a kitten heel design for those who prefer more of a sandal appearance.

Take J.Lo’s gorgeous Parisian style as a sign to get her designer-inspired heels for much, much less. They’re modern, sleek and perfect for summer and fall. Grab them for just $39 on Amazon now.

Get the Boegbnw Open-Toe Stilettos for $39 at Amazon! Please note, prices are accurate as of the publishing date but are subject to change.

Looking for something else? Explore more summer heels here, and don’t forget to check out all of Amazon’s Daily Deals for more great finds!

2026 has been an epic year for Fallout fans so far — not only did the second season of the hit Prime Video series bleed into the start of the year, but the streamer is already hard at work on Season 3, ensuring that it will return in 2027. News also broke just a few weeks ago that a fifth Fallout game is officially in the works, but with it being prioritized behind The Elder Scrolls 6, it’s unlikely it will be released anytime before 2030. Fallout has become such a popular IP since the first game launched all the way back in the 1990s that fans usually don’t have to wait more than a few months for some new release out of the franchise. Fallout 5 is the release most players are waiting for more details about, and long-time Bethesda boss Todd Howard just delivered an exciting update about the game.

Howard recently sat down for an interview with Windows Central to discuss the future of all Bethesda games, and naturally, one of the new releases to come up was Fallout 5. Howard praised the technical team currently working on Fallout 5, admitting that he was worried the intense demands in the development process would force them to stop and start early in the development stages:

“For the worlds we want to create, and given that we’re going to make Fallout 5, the question was how to do all this work in parallel, without constant stops and restarts. And we are very happy with the result. I can’t stop admiring our technical team — they are just incredible. Our designers ask for a lot of crazy things, and the technical team finds a way to implement it. And I think that’s what defines our games — the feeling that anything is possible.”

While nothing he said alludes to the game being released anytime in the next few years, it does sound like there shouldn’t be any further delays when it comes to getting Fallout 5 into players’ hands. After the success of Fallout 4, the redemption of Fallout 76, and the immense popularity of Prime Video’s Fallout series, it’s safe to say that Fallout 5 will be one of the biggest launches in gaming history.

Who Stars in ‘Fallout’ Season 3?

Fallout Season 3 is returning its trio of core stars — Ella Purnell as Lucy, Walton Goggins as Ghoul, and Aaron Moten as Maximus — but there are some exciting newcomers joining the cast. The first big name attached to star in Fallout Season 3 was Aaron Paul, who is best known for his Emmy-winning role as Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad. Manny Jacinto, who recently stole in the show in the one-season Star Wars Disney Plus series, The Acolyte, has also joined the cast of Fallout in an undisclosed role.

Check out the first two seasons of Fallout on Prime Video, and stay tuned to Collider for more updates and coverage of Fallout 5.

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Release Date

April 10, 2024

Network

Amazon Prime Video

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Showrunner

Lisa Joy, Jonathan Nolan

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Directors

Frederick E. O. Toye, Wayne Che Yip, Stephen Williams, Liz Friedlander, Jonathan Nolan, Daniel Gray Longino, Clare Kilner

Writers

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Lisa Joy, Jonathan Nolan

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Interestingly, Christopher Nolan and Zack Snyder got their major studio breaks at around the same time, and the projects they were working on were both based on Ancient Greek myths. They would eventually go on to establish themselves in the superhero genre, and would even collaborate on the 2013 movie Man of Steel, directed by Snyder and executive-produced by Nolan. But back in the mid-2000s, they were just starting out in the business, having made a name for themselves with the breakout movies Memento (Nolan) and Dawn of the Dead (Snyder). After they caught the attention of studios, both filmmakers began working on major projects inspired by Greek mythology, and that, too, at the same studio, Warner Bros. While Nolan was given the opportunity to direct Troy, Snyder pitched a highly stylized adaptation of a classic Frank Miller comic book.

Nolan eventually stepped away from Troy, which was ultimately directed by Wolfgang Petersen. Nolan returned to the material recently, with his latest blockbuster film The Odyssey. Warner Bros. was apprehensive about investing in two movies — Troy and 300 — that it considered similar, but Snyder put doubts to rest with test footage revealing his unique vision. Troy was released to mixed reviews in 2004, grossing nearly $500 million worldwide against a reported budget of $185 million. 300, on the other hand, grossed around $480 million globally against a reported budget of around $70 million in 2006.

Greek Myths Are Back in Vogue

Starring Gerard Butler, the movie redefined the comic book and action genres, and inspired numerous copycats in the decade following its release. The movie now holds a 61% critics’ score and an excellent 89% audience score on the aggregator website Rotten Tomatoes, where the consensus reads, “A simple-minded but visually exciting experience, full of blood, violence, and ready-made movie quotes.” Like The Odyssey, which has received criticism from certain quarters for its casting and interpretation of Homer‘s epic, 300 was slammed for its perceived racism, with white characters portrayed as heroes and characters of color as villains. That said, 300 remains hugely popular even two decades later, and according to FlixPatrol, it’s currently among the most watched movies on the domestic Vudu chart. A sequel, titled 300: Rise of an Empire, was released in 2014. Stay tuned to Collider for more updates.

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Release Date

March 9, 2007

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Runtime

117 minutes

Director

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Zack Snyder

Writers

Zack Snyder, Kurt Johnstad, Michael B. Gordon

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John Cusack is opening up about why he stepped away from the Hollywood system that made him a star.

Rather than chasing more blockbuster roles, the veteran actor says he reached a point where creative compromises no longer felt worth making, leading him to pursue a very different path.

John Cusack is revealing what ultimately pushed him toward graphic novels and away from traditional filmmaking, offering a candid look at the frustrations that reshaped his decades-long career.

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Cusack says his latest creative project grew out of a desire to tell stories without having to compromise his creative vision. Rather than pursue another major studio film, the veteran actor said he turned to graphic novels because he “didn’t want to negotiate“ how his stories were told. 

Speaking during Variety Studio at San Diego Comic-Con, Cusack explained that large film budgets often come with creative interference, saying that once someone invests millions into a movie, “they want to have an opinion.”

He said that mindset inspired him to create “Momo,” a graphic novel about two fugitives who form an unlikely partnership during a surreal 1970s road trip across America, according to Variety’s interview shared on X.

The comments quickly drew mixed reactions. One fan wrote, “Man, I hope he gets back into making banger films again; he’s such a special talent,” while another bluntly commented, “FACELIFT HORROR SHOW. damn John, you got victimized.

A Graphic Novel Built Without Studio Influence

Rather than trying to revive an old Hollywood formula, Cusack poured his creative energy into “Momo,” an independently produced graphic novel that blends a 1970s road trip, a heist story, and an extraterrestrial mystery into a single narrative.

Speaking about the project, he explained that he and illustrator Ignacio Noé completed the book without studio executives, focus groups, or outside editors shaping the story.

He described it as an “anti-algorithm” project created entirely on their own terms, and Us Weekly noted that the book marks the actor’s first graphic novel and was published through Mad Cave Studios.

The longtime actor also hinted that it may not be a one-time activity, saying that he is working on another book with Noé as he continues to seek out avenues outside the film industry for storytelling.

John Cusack Has Long Criticized Hollywood’s Studio System

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Cusack’s frustrations with Hollywood did not begin with his move into graphic novels. Years before unveiling “Momo,” the actor openly criticized the modern studio system, arguing that it had become increasingly driven by corporate interests rather than creative storytelling.

In an interview with The Guardian, Cusack explained that Hollywood was now a place “where the big guys are in control, and they’re making more films based on franchises.”

Cusack said studios don’t trust filmmakers to make their own movies the way they used to do. He also condemned the lack of respect for older people and the need for commercial success over originality, which he felt were prevalent.

Those long-held views help explain why Cusack has embraced projects that allow him to work outside the traditional studio model, giving him the freedom to tell stories without the compromises he says have become common in Hollywood.

Outspoken Views Often Keep The Actor In The Headlines

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In addition to his acting and publishing endeavors, Cusack has consistently been one of Hollywood’s most vocal political figures, offering his opinions using social media on significant national events and debates.

The Blast previously reported that following the 2024 U.S. presidential election, the actor strongly criticized Donald Trump’s victory, arguing that the country had “destroyed itself” by electing someone he described as a convicted felon.

He has also been a longtime critic of the former president, regularly sharing his views with millions of followers online. From politics to creative freedom, Cusack has never been afraid to speak out on matters of interest, frequently making his voice heard in the news.

John Cusack Continues To Speak His Mind

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Stepping away from traditional filmmaking has not meant stepping away from the spotlight. Outside his creative work, Cusack has continued to draw attention for speaking publicly on issues far beyond the entertainment industry.

During Chicago’s “No Kings” protest, The Blast reported that the actor delivered a blunt message aimed at President Donald Trump while criticizing what he viewed as growing authoritarianism.

The remarks quickly spread across social media, adding to a long history of Cusack using his public platform to weigh in on political issues.

As he continues pursuing projects on his own terms while remaining unafraid to voice his opinions, will John Cusack keep redefining his career in ways that extend far beyond Hollywood?

Netflix has quite a penchant for adapting beloved classic movies and shows into modern remakes. Recently, the streamer delivered a shiny new version of Little House on the Prairie, based on the children’s novels by Laura Ingalls Wilder, which ran as one of the most popular shows of its day between 1974 and 1983. Earning 6.4 million views in just four days and already winning a second season renewal, there’s no doubt that the remake has been a success, even if the show is being review-bombed on aggregator site Rotten Tomatoes.

The series Collider’s Maggie Lovitt called a “masterpiece” in her review is the latest in a long line of successful remakes for Netflix, with the company ready to try its hand at one of the most popular cult classic rom-coms of the noughties. It was confirmed back in March that Netflix is producing a reboot of the 2004 romantic comedy 13 Going on 30, with Emily Bader and Logan Lerman in lead roles.

The movie will reunite Bader with director Brett Haley, after the pair produced rom-com magic with 2026’s The People We Meet on Vacation. “13 Going on 30 is one of those rare, perfect films. Funny, emotional, deeply human, with unforgettable performances from Jennifer Garner, Mark Ruffalo, and Judy Greer,” Haley said in a statement. “I’m a longtime fan, so stepping into this reimagining comes with tremendous responsibility.”

Two Original Stars Look Set to Return

Of the many rom-coms that could get a remake, 13 Going on 30 is a brilliant choice. Not only has enough time passed that the remake can feel fresh in a modern setting, but it is still relevant enough thematically that there won’t need to be too much creative license taken. But the latter of these points will still worry fans who hold the 2004 original close to their hearts.

Well, courtesy of some new leaked set photos, you might not have to worry at all, with it seeming as if original stars Jennifer Garner, who is already on board to executive produce, and Judy Greer will be reprising their roles as Jenna Rink and Lucy “Tom-Tom” Wyman. In the set photos, the pair were spotted in costume alongside Bader, filming a scene at a building in Santa Monica, California. With the logline for the movie under wraps, who knows how involved the duo will be? Fingers crossed, Mark Ruffalo and Andy Serkis also return.

For more updates, stay tuned to Collider.

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Release Date

April 23, 2004

Runtime

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98minutes

Director

Gary Winick

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Writers

Gary Winick

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Pamela Anderson is finally setting the record straight about whether she will be part of the upcoming “Baywatch” reboot, ending months of speculation surrounding her connection to the iconic franchise.

As Hollywood continues reviving beloved television classics, fans have been eager to know whether the actress, whose red swimsuit became one of the defining images of 1990s pop culture, would return in any capacity.

Long before her career resurgence, Pamela Anderson became a global icon as C.J. Parker on “Baywatch,” starring on the hit series from 1992 to 1997. The role defined a generation and remains the performance most closely associated with her name. 

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Anderson made it clear that while she looks back on “Baywatch” with gratitude, she has no intention of revisiting the role that made her a global star.

Speaking while promoting her new film “Rosebush Pruning,” the actress reflected on how the series opened countless doors but stressed that her focus is now on exploring entirely different creative opportunities.

When asked if she would be interested in returning to the upcoming “Baywatch” remake, Anderson said no one had approached her directly for the part. She also wished the new team good luck, saying that she has “no plans” to make a comeback to her namesake franchise, where she kicked off her career.

Anderson also said the original series was a job she really loved because she loved to shoot on the beach daily, Deadline reported. Instead of revisiting familiar territory, Anderson said she wants to keep surprising both audiences and herself by pursuing bold new roles.

Instead, Anderson is focused on taking creative risks. She said she wants to explore characters she has never played before, including the possibility of returning to the stage, rather than revisiting the past.

Her Sons Were Nearly Part Of The New Series

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Although Anderson has ruled out returning to “Baywatch,” she revealed there was once a family connection to the reboot. Producers had discussions with her sons, Brandon Thomas Lee and Dylan Jagger Lee, about joining the project behind the scenes.

Those talks ultimately fell through, but Anderson admitted she might have been more interested if her sons had become involved. The iconic actress said there was never “a meeting of the minds,” though she wished the reboot team nothing but success.

Instead, Anderson is looking ahead, with several films already completed and more opportunities on the horizon; she said she is focused on projects that continue to challenge her creatively.

Pamela Anderson’s Legacy Sparks New Competition On The New ‘Baywatch’ Set

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Anderson’s legacy is reportedly creating competition behind the scenes of the new “Baywatch” reboot. As reported by The Blast, Brooks Nader and Livvy Dunne have both been linked to an unofficial race to become the franchise’s next breakout star, with sources claiming discussions about the “next Pam Anderson” have created tension during production.

Nader is expected to play a much larger role in the series, while Dunne is set to appear in only a few episodes. Although neither actress has publicly addressed the speculation, it was reported that the comparisons reflect the lasting influence of Anderson’s portrayal of C.J. Parker.

While the franchise’s reboot is gearing up to usher in a new generation of lifeguards, Anderson’s legacy in the series can never be forgotten. All these things continue to define what’s expected from women who walk on the beach even decades after her debut.

‘The Last Showgirl’ Star Embraces Risk With New Film

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Anderson is taking another unexpected turn in her career with the dark comedy “Rosebush Pruning,” which premiered in U.S. theaters on July 24. Discussing the film, she said audiences should expect something “shocking in a good way,” stressing that its provocative moments exist to serve the story rather than shock for its own sake.

The actress also explained that she deliberately sought out the project because she wants to keep challenging herself instead of playing it safe. The Blast noted that Anderson described director Karim Aïnouz as a visionary. He said she is committed to working with filmmakers who push both storytelling and her own abilities as a performer.

That approach reflects the path Anderson has embraced in recent years, choosing bold, character-driven roles over familiar territory as she continues to redefine the next chapter of her career.

Pamela Anderson Says Going Makeup-Free Became Her Answer To AI Beauty

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Along with new roles in movies, Anderson has continued to defy the beauty norms of the modern world. The actress has maintained her move to be seen without makeup, believing that it is important to promote authenticity at a time when AI-generated and heavily retouched images are becoming more prevalent.

Speaking about her partnership with Aerie’s anti-AI campaign, Anderson said she refused to retouch or filter her photos because she wanted to highlight what she called “perfectly imperfect” beauty.

Anderson warned that AI-generated imagery has become “very worrisome” and argued that technology is pushing unrealistic expectations even further. She added that stepping away from makeup and digital enhancement has been one of the most freeing decisions of her career.

The actress has chosen to move away from the facade and glamorous lifestyle that defined her career. She has now embraced a more ‘natural’ lifestyle, living a life of simplicity, confidence and self-acceptance.

As her acting career takes a new turn, can Pamela Anderson keep demonstrating that being true to herself is as strong as being reinvented?

One Instagram user @pretty_yai said, “I use to think Keyshia Cole was hard to get next to 😂”

This Instagram user @celeb_brandon joked, “Maybe she need that phone convo with Monica again cause obviously she ain’t listen😑”

And, Instagram user @a.m.p_23_2025 claimed, “Keyshia doesn’t know what she be doing…”

Meanwhile, Instagram user @dominiquechinn commented, “It’s ok to be single for a bit”

While Instagram user @gloomanwalkin4g3 shared, “now she finna do the 67 all day”

Lastly, Instagram user @biggrealmz wrote, “She wants another heart-break to come out with another fire album ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ go girl”

NASCAR legend Kyle Busch’s widow, Samantha Busch, is still figuring out her new normal following her husband’s shocking and sudden death.

“There is so much I want to share about what losing Kyle has really been like. Not just the sadness but the physical pain that grief causes,” Samantha, 40, wrote via Instagram on Friday, July 24, referring to Kyle’s death earlier this spring. “The trauma. The disbelief that still hits me every morning I wake up. The way my heart and mind can’t fully accept that this is our reality.”

News broke in May that Kyle died at age 41 after he was found unresponsive in a racing simulator. (Kyle’s cause of death was later revealed as pneumonia that progressed into sepsis.)

The pro racer is survived by Samantha and their two children, who have since been candid about grieving Kyle’s loss.

“I’ve always been an open book. Sharing the hard parts of my life has always been important to me,” Samantha wrote on Friday of being open with her social media followers. “It’s been how I’ve processed, healed and connected with people walking similar roads. From infertility, hair loss [and] marriage, I’ve shared because I never wanted someone else to feel alone in what they were facing. This feels so different.”

She continued, “Every time I start to write, I stop. I worry people will think it’s too dark. Too much. That I’m grieving the wrong way. That I should be farther along. That I should keep these thoughts to myself, but the truth is staying quiet hasn’t felt like me either and posting just the pretty healing moments feels fake because it doesn’t capture how truly brutal grief is on every level.”

Samantha further noted that she does miss “showing up as [her] authentic self” online, though it is admittedly difficult to do in the wake of her husband’s death.

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“This is my life now. It’s heartbreaking, messy, confusing and incredibly lonely,” she said. “I don’t know exactly what sharing this chapter will look like yet. I just know that pretending I’m OK isn’t honest.”

Less than one week earlier, Samantha publicly celebrated her 11-year-old son Brexton’s first racing victory since Kyle’s death.

“This is his first win since Kyle’s passing. There was a lot of emotions to say the very least,” Samantha wrote via her Instagram Stories earlier this month. “Beyond proud of him not just for winning but all that he’s navigating at a young age, beyond shattered Kyle isn’t here to be a part of this, beyond grateful for all the support and amazing people we have around us.”