By Robert Scucci
| Published 19 seconds ago

1978’s Laserblast is one of those movies that requires you to consult Wikipedia to fully understand what’s going on. Knowing this is important because if you don’t, you may start questioning your own intelligence while trying to make sense of the story it’s attempting to tell. Be kind to yourself, dear reader, because your brain is not broken. This movie is. But don’t let that assessment steer you away from streaming this punisher on Tubi because it’s a perfect B-movie featuring stop-motion aliens, incompetent police officers, and, as its title suggests, a lot of laser blasts.

For every wooden line of dialogue, there’s a pretty neat explosion. For every human interaction that plays like writers Frank Ray Perilli and Franne Schacht were aliens who just learned how humans behave and decided to make a movie about it, there’s some great stop-motion animation. It may be a stretch, but I’m convinced the main character, Billy Duncan (Kim Milford), was a huge fan of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, because his mannerisms when he goes into full rampage mode scream Leatherface.

Billy’s Revenge Arc, Or Whatever You Want To Call It

When Laserblast introduces us to Billy, we bear witness to a momma’s boy who doesn’t like being left alone. He’s in his 20s but still throws a tantrum about living rent free, and unsupervised, in a very nice house. He has a girlfriend named Kathy (Cheryl Smith), who’s also in her 20s and lives with her grandfather, Colonel Farely (Keenan Wynn). This complicates things for Billy because the Colonel doesn’t like him, meaning they have to hang out on the sneak.

One day while wandering through the desert, Billy finds a laser cannon and a strange amulet. Bored and curious, he affixes the cannon to his arm and learns it fires an explosive laser, but only if he wears the accompanying amulet he finds lying on the ground nearby. Once he realizes the scope of his power, he sets out on the war path, vowing to eliminate everybody who has ever wronged him.

If you’re wondering what kind of people have wronged Billy in Laserblast, get a load of this. He’s mad at Deputies Pete Ungar (Dennis Burkley) and Jesse Jeep (Barry Cutler) for giving him a speeding ticket. He was speeding. He’s also mad at some local boys named Chuck (Mike Bobenko) and Froggy (Eddie Deezen) for challenging him to a race he couldn’t participate in because his shaggin’ wagon wouldn’t start on time to compete.

Meanwhile, a group of aliens observe Billy’s actions from afar, speaking in an indecipherable language with no subtitles. The subtext suggests they want their laser back, so let’s just go with that.

You Need A Likeable Protagonist For This To Work

Billy is a total chode in Laserblast, which makes his entire revenge arc hard to sell. Most of the time he’s wandering around moping, and then when somebody breaks his balls he vows to kill them. He’s the kind of person who turns every perceived slight into a personal vendetta. It’s exhausting, and not exactly satisfying when he goes after the people who have allegedly wronged him because it’s just regular everyday stuff that sets him off.

His physical evolution, however, is the most perplexing aspect of Laserblast. The amulet he wears while firing the cannon causes a mysterious growth on his chest, which makes Dr. Mellon (Roddy McDowall) want to investigate further with the help of a government goon named Tony Craig (Gianni Russo). Already in full laserblast mode, it’s implied that Billy becomes more and more like the aliens he stole the device from the more he uses it, resulting in green skin and not much else.

He twists and turns with his laser blaster like Leatherface chasing a damsel in distress, but he lacks the physicality to keep these sequences from becoming unintentionally hilarious. If I sound like an expert on this one, it’s because I read the exhaustive breakdowns on both IMDb and Wikipedia. But if I’m being honest, those writeups give the movie way too much credit. In the movie itself, a bunch of stuff happens that seems vaguely connected, and then there are some rad little alien dudes (David W. Allen’s stop-motion efforts alone make this worth watching) who occasionally chatter , but we never truly know whether they’re good or bad.

As of this writing, Laserblast is streaming for free on Tubi. It’s best not to think too hard about this one and just let it happen to you. It’s amusing, but I’d hardly call it a movie. For what it is, though, it’s definitely entertaining. I thoroughly enjoyed it, but will likely never watch it again. 

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By Chris Sawin
| Published 27 seconds ago

The main appeal of Hoppers was that it was co-written and directed by Daniel Chong. Chong created We Bare Bears for Cartoon Network, which was the last CN show I really obsessed over after the likes of Adventure Time and Regular Show ended. Interestingly enough, Chong spent six years on the entirety of We Bare Bears (four seasons and 140 episodes), and Hoppers (a single 100-minute film) also took six years to create. The spinoff We Baby Bears is currently airing on Cartoon Network, which Chong executive produces.

The animated sci-fi comedy film is written by Daniel Chong and Jesse Andrews (Elio, Luca). Chong has actually been working for Pixar on and off since 2008, as a storyboard artist on Bolt, Cars 2, and Inside Out, and as part of the senior creative team on Turning Red, Lightyear, Elemental, Inside Out 2, Elio, and the upcoming Toy Story 5 and Incredibles 3.

How Hoppers Sets Up Its Fuzzy Story

Hoppers follows Mabel Tanaka (Piper Curda), who struggles with anger and cares for animals. After attempting to free her school’s classroom animals, she is dropped off at her grandmother’s, where she finds a peaceful glade in the forest. Mabel returns to this relaxing, safe spot whenever overwhelmed.

Today, Mabel is 19. The mayor of Beaverton, Jerry Generazzo (Jon Hamm), intends to demolish the glade to finish building a highway that will shave several minutes off Beaverton drivers’ commutes. All the animals have mysteriously left the glade, prompting Mabel to seek help from her college professor, Dr. Samantha Fairfax (Kathy Najimy).

Mabel discovers that Dr. Fairfax has developed a technology called hopping, which allows a human to transfer their consciousness into a robot animal of their choosing. Mabel forces her way into the body of a robot beaver and seeks counsel with King George (Bobby Moynihan), a fellow beaver and king of the land animals. Mabel’s plan is to bring the animals back to the glade in order to keep Mayor Jerry from building the highway, but things are much more complicated than she realizes.

A Stunning Visual Achievement

Hoppers is so gorgeous to look at. The visuals are similar to those of The Angry Birds Movies (two of the funniest animated films of the 2010s, by the way), where beaver fur looks so fluffy that you want to reach out and pet it, human hair is ridiculously detailed, and grass looks far too realistic for its own good. The idea of the eyes changing depending on whether we can understand them is a lot of fun, even if Brother Bear did it better. The subtle Back to the Future references (Mabel calling Dr. Fairfax “Doc” while being in a panic, the van chase on the skateboard, and the camera placement during that sequence) are certainly appreciated, as well.

The way the film highlights the preciousness of a tranquil space is extraordinary. Having somewhere to escape everyday noise that is both quiet and calm, and that just naturally exists, is a rare, wonderful thing. The more adventurous aspects of the storyline are the most entertaining aspects of Hoppers. When the film starts introducing the king council with the other animal kings, the apex predator, and what happens to Jerry in the second half of the film are some of the film’s most amusing moments. The car sequence where Loaf (Eduardo Franco), Mabel, King George, and Tom Lizard (Tom Law) talk to Jerry via text-to-speech on Jerry’s phone is the funniest and most memorable.

Hoppers Pushes The Idea That Animals Have The Same Rights As Humans

Hoppers is written somewhat awkwardly. The film revolves heavily around doing what’s best for the environment and seeks what’s best for animals since their rights are just as important as human rights. If you feel that way towards animals, you probably won’t have an issue with it, but the concept is thrown into a standstill game of tug-of-war between Mabel and Jerry, two extremely selfish and unlikeable human characters.

There’s an argument about the film’s suitability for children. Hoppers treats a gruesome death as comic relief. I think the sequence is great and unexpected, but some might find it problematic. A Pixar film lacking the usual emotional gut punch and a likable main character is also unusual.

Mabel uses the animals, particularly the trust of King George, to get what she wants while hiding the fact that she’s actually human. Jerry is using shady tactics to keep the animals away from the glade to build the highway and maintain his “mayor of the people” reputation, which he hopes to celebrate at a political rally originally scheduled for after the highway’s completion. It’s an eco-friendly message in the hands of two individuals you don’t really have any emotional investment in.

Is This Just Avatar In A Pixar Suit?

The film has drawn many comparisons to Avatar, which Hoppers references in the actual film as soon as the hopping technology is introduced. But Hoppers also has a lot in common with The Wild Robot, which is a far superior animated film. Looking past its lack of emotional connection with its audience and its sci-fi body-swap concept, the main comparisons lie in Mabel’s initial introduction as a beaver, when she suddenly understands animal dialogue, and in the forest’s suffering during the film’s resolution.

Hoppers is fun and is probably Pixar’s best film since Turning Red (I’m not an Inside Out fan, but that’s another article), but it’s also being overhyped by its marketing. It’s cute with some beautiful animation and a few chuckle-worthy moments, but it is not “the funniest Pixar film ever.” Tom Lizard, the character who blew up on TikTok after being featured in the Hoppers teaser trailer attached to Elio, is only in the film for a handful of minutes.

Beautiful Animation And A Clunky Story

Hoppers is fantastically animated, with some impressively high comedic moments, but its clunky story and funky exploration of morality keep it from being one of the Pixar greats.

Hoppers is now playing in theaters. Despite its flaws, it’s still recommended viewing.