Entertainment
The Only Movie That Put Me To Sleep In A Theater Is Now On Netflix
By Jonathan Klotz
| Published
Everyone loves dinosaurs. Everyone loves Jeff Goldblum. Everyone loves dinosaurs with Jeff Goldblum. It should be a simple formula, and yet 2021’s Jurassic World: Dominion managed to fumble the return of Jurassic Park’s trio with a ludicrous plot, dull set pieces, and managed to avoid addressing the ending of Fallen Kingdom. The cool ending with the dinosaurs starting to repopulate around the world? The one that had you pumped for the next Jurassic World movie? Replaced with a story about genetically modified locusts that’s so exciting I fell asleep in the theater the first time I watched it.
Rise Of The Mutant Locusts
Other films have almost put me to sleep, including, ironically, Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland and the Ryan Reynolds/Denzel Washington film Safe House, but none have knocked me out like Jurassic World: Dominion. I made it to Alan Grant (Sam Neill), Ellie Satler (Laura Dern), and Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) running around a biotech facility and then woke up to the credits. The plot has none of the tension of the first four films, the dinosaurs feel like a minor nuisance, and the two generations of Jurassic characters are kept separated for 90 percent of the film. It takes one hour and 45 minutes for Owen Grady (Chris Pratt) and Alan Grant to finally meet.
After Jurassic World turned the theme park of the original into a reality, and Fallen Kingdom became a haunted house horror for its third act, Dominion’s reliance on a Biosyn facility for the final act was a huge step back. Owen and Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard), sneaking into a black market auction for dinosaurs, would be fun, except again, that was seen in the previous movie. There’s nothing here that the same stars, same director (Colin Trevorrow), and same writer (also Colin Trevorrow) hadn’t done before, but better.
Dinosaurs Are Awesome
I did enjoy Jurassic World: Dominion significantly more the second time around on Netflix. Part of that is my expectations were tempered, and the other is that my cat (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle) never lets me fall asleep on the couch. The streaming experience allowed me to appreciate the old guard slipping into their roles like a well-used pair of pants, and Isabella Sermon, who plays the genetically altered Maisie, more than holds her own alongside the cadre of established stars.
Though Jurassic World: Dominion was filmed during the COVID pandemic, and it has the hallmarks of those productions, namely the complete lack of extras during the third act, the actual story, the weakest part of the film, was solidified long before the pandemic hit. Trevorrow’s original vision, available on the Blu-Ray as an extended cut, includes more dinosaurs and more backstory. That cut isn’t available on Netflix, which is a shame, as the one thing the dinosaur movie needed was more dinosaurs.
Jurassic World: Dominion is the weakest of the franchise, and yet it still earned a billion dollars a the box office. When the worst film of a series sets records and is still a decent film, if you go in with the right expectations, that says something about the overall quality of Jurassic Park. Or it could just be that dinosaurs are awesome. Jurassic World: Dominion, and the rest of the Jurassic World series, including Jurassic World: Rebirth, are now available to stream on Netflix.
