The British obsession with tea often leaves our foreign friends a bit bemused. One Canadian woman who now lives in Wales was left baffled when a friend said one thing when offered a cuppa
When it comes to things we Brits take very seriously indeed, it’s a cup of tea. It’s a simple combination – tea bag, boiling water, milk, and sugar if desired – yet it never fails to hit the spot.
Not feeling well? A brew will perk you up. Looking for something to keep you warm? A steaming mug of tea does the trick perfectly. It’s been a whole hour since your last cuppa? Pop the kettle on, we’re having tea.
People from outside the UK can sometimes find our national passion and all the subtle details that come along with it puzzling. A Canadian woman who now lives in Wales was confused when she came across one common phrase connected to brewing tea which left her utterly confused.
TikTok user ellayyayy, who frequently shares posts about her experiences as a foreigner in God’s Country, recounted the tale in a video on the social media platform. She explained: “I don’t know if this is a Britishism, or an autistic thing, but I was making a cup of tea for my husband’s friend the other day and I asked him how he would like it, and he said ‘oh, as it comes’.
“What does that mean? So I said ‘oh sorry, what do you mean?’ ‘Oh, no, as it comes’. And I’m thinking mate, it comes however I prepare it and give it to you, so how do you want me to do that?”
Commenters shared their interpretations of what the phrase actually meant. One remarked: “It’s a Britishism. It’s a way of saying ‘just make it how you like it because I’m waaaaay too polite to give you orders in your own home and I like all variations of tea anyway’.”
Another commented: “If you say ‘as it comes’ I’m making it medium strength, splash of milk, no sugar.” While someone else noted: “It means they don’t mind if it is strong or weak. And hasn’t specifically said sugar, so no sugar. In UK milk is seen as standard.”
Someone else quipped: “That’s an open invitation to freestyle it, serve it with a tiny umbrella and an olive.”
In a subsequent video, ellayyayy revealed what happened next. She uploaded the clip responding to a comment stating: “I hate when people say that. Just give me instructions.”
She described how she’d asked her husband’s friend to clarify what he meant, and he specified milk without sugar, while also repeating “as it comes”, which just left her more confused. “So, ‘as it comes’ referred basically to the strength,” she explained. “I didn’t know what to do with that so I thought, I’m gonna play it safe.” However, it was at this point that she made a contentious choice, reports the Mirror.
She went on: “I left the tea bag in. Milk, no sugar, left the tea bag in, brought him the cup of tea, milk, no sugar, tea bag in, and a little ramekin and a spoon just in case he wanted to take it out. And Mr ‘as it comes’, as soon as I hand him the mug, goes ‘oh, you left the tea bag in’.” Pulling a bewildered face, she went on: “Now I know. ‘As it comes’ just means ‘do whatever the f*** you want, I’ll drink it’.”
Commenters offered a variety of opinions. One remarked: “No one leaves a teabag in for black tea… Peppermint, fruit infusions etc, maybe, but not black tea…. But I understand that that could be seen as the lowest risk option.”
Another commented: “As it comes normally means ‘I’m not really really fussy about the colour/strength of the tea but it shouldn’t be very strong or very weak’. Pour boiling water over teabag, squeeze bag with back of spoon and remove. Add splash of milk and stir.” A further contributor stated: “As a Brit I’d never leave a plain teabag in, only herbal ones, but you’re right, ‘as it comes’ means ‘just give me a tea’.”
However, others held contrasting perspectives. One declared: “Call me crazy, I leave my teabag in till cup is empty. Yes, even black tea. I just love strong flavour. Same with the tea leaves in the teapot. I don’t remove them. they soak till the end.”

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