Sometimes, a person’s reaction to criticism or scrutiny can feel wildly disproportionate, escalating quickly from defensiveness to blame shifting and outright rage. The current president often makes headlines for these kinds of reactions, which draw widespread attention as things quickly spiral on a public stage.

In other situations, it might show up in your own life – in a partner, boss, family member or ex who seems unable to tolerate even mild criticism without lashing out or trying to control the narrative. Mental health experts say this reactiveness can be a common trait in narcissists, and the specific phenomenon may reflect something known as “narcissistic collapse.”

“Narcissistic collapse is what happens to a narcissist when they experience an ego-injury that generates feelings of shame or challenges their false sense of self,” Hannah Alderete, a licensed mental health counselor and the author of “Break Free From Narcissistic Mothers,” told HuffPost. “The biggest threat to the narcissist is that their vulnerability is witnessed by others and they can no longer maintain a facade of power or authority.”

Narcissists feed off external validation to maintain a carefully cultivated image that they are superior, special and extraordinary. But beneath that facade is a deep-seated sense of shame and insecurity – proof that they are ordinary, flawed human beings.

As a result, anything that threatens their power, status or image – even something seemingly minor – can trigger narcissistic collapse.

“It’s a collapse of a person’s inflated self-image, sense of control and psychological stability when that image can no longer be maintained,” said Marie-Line Germain, author of “Narcissism at Work: Personality Disorders of Corporate Leaders” and a professor of human resources and leadership at Western Carolina University.

“It happens when the external validation, admiration or identity structures that sustain the individual’s sense of self are threatened or withdrawn – through criticism, rejection, or loss of status,” she explained. “Without those supports, the underlying fragility of the person’s self is exposed.”

When this happens, things can escalate quickly, at least emotionally speaking.

Narcissistic collapse can also manifest in yelling, threatening, engaging in smear campaigns, stonewalling, panicking and even behaving recklessly in ways that could harm oneself or others. There’s emotional instability and an increased need for validation and reassurance.

“Others may respond by turning inward,” Germain noted. “They may withdraw from others, avoid situations that remind them of the perceived failure and show a decline in motivation or engagement.”

Whether the narcissist turns inward or lashes out, their thinking patterns tend to become more rigid as well.

“They may begin to see people and situations in extreme, black-and-white terms, fixate on perceived slights or betrayals and reinterpret events in ways that protect their self-image,” Germain said.

If you find yourself on the receiving end of this kind of behaviour, your response can go a long way in either deescalating the situation or unintentionally fuelling it. Of course, you’re not responsible for the behaviours of a narcissist, but there are ways to handle it without getting pulled into the chaos.

Below, experts break down the best practices for dealing with someone who is experiencing narcissistic collapse.

“It’s important that you are able to label that what is happening is ‘narcissistic collapse’ and to recognise that your next move is about honouring your own boundaries,” Alderete said.

Remind yourself that what they do isn’t really about you.

“Although the behaviour may feel very personal, it is usually driven by the other person’s threatened self-image rather than anything you have done,” Germain said. “Keeping this perspective can help you avoid internalising the attack.”

Developing a strong sense of self and community can help you stay grounded and resist their attempts to distort the truth.

“Don’t be gaslit and let the narcissist make you doubt your reality – for instance, they had to cheat because you were so difficult to live with, or you betrayed them because you didn’t agree to every unreasonable demand they placed on you,” said Virginia Gilbert, a licensed marriage and family therapist specialising in high-conflict divorce and attachment trauma.

She also recommended familiarising yourself with different types of narcissism and related traits.

“Understand the narcissist you’re dealing with,” Gilbert said. “A covert narcissist may be too withdrawn to do more than wallow in self-pity, whereas the grandiose narcissist lacks inhibition and is more likely to seek revenge in dramatic style.”

“If the interaction becomes unproductive or hostile, you should disengage,” Germain said. “It’s reasonable to say that you’re willing to continue the conversation only if it remains respectful and constructive. Limit your exposure to that person and keep interactions short.”

Maintain distance whenever possible.

“I think when you are in the face of someone who is in narcissistic collapse mode or narcissistic injury, it is probably best to step aside,” said therapist and “Disarming the Narcissist” author Wendy Behary.

“Don’t get tangled up in an argument. It’s like trying to argue with someone who is under the influence of alcohol or drugs – the narcissist is in an altered state because they are in survival mode due to the threat they feel to their ego, to their specialness, to that identity that they’ve been attempting to put out there and convince others of.”

When a narcissist is under the influence of a blow to their ego, interacting with them is often just not worth it.

“Responding, defending yourself or trying to reason with someone mid-collapse adds fuel,” Swithin said. “It signals that they’ve successfully destabilised you, which is exactly what they want. Silence is power.”

“Document everything,” Swithin urged. “If you are in any kind of formal relationship with this person, whether co-parenting, legal proceedings, or a workplace, document the outbursts carefully. Narcissistic collapse is often some of the most revealing evidence and can be used to showcase instability or potential danger.”

This can include saving emails, texts and voicemails, taking screenshots of social media posts and keeping contemporaneous notes with dates, times and details of what occurred.

In situations where you have to interact, avoid engaging in the emotional intensity of the moment.

“When responding, it’s best to stay grounded in observable facts and avoid personal or emotional language. This helps prevent the interaction from becoming even more volatile,” Germain said. “Arguing point by point, over-explaining or matching their tone often makes the situation worse. A better approach is to respond briefly and neutrally, keeping the focus on the issue rather than the emotion. While remaining calm, you should set clear boundaries.”

She emphasised that these boundaries should be firm and not emotionally charged. This might sound like: “I’m willing to continue this conversation if it stays respectful,” or “I’m not going to engage with personal attacks, but I’m happy to discuss the logistics.”

“Even though it can feel intensely personal and it is tempting to ‘set the record straight,’ arguing back will just fuel the fire,” Maher said. “Don’t be afraid to set strong boundaries and try to detach emotionally as best as you can.”

Experts often recommend the “grey rock” approach when dealing with narcissists as a way to remain emotionally neutral and unreactive.

“If you are being called out by a narcissist who is in the throes of narcissistic collapse, you want to do your best to disengage and respond minimally to them,” Alderete said. “Do not get caught in a lengthy back-and-forth of explaining yourself or justifying your experiences. Instead use techniques like the grey rock method to limit your engagement with them.”

The concept is simple: Make yourself as boring and nondescript as a gray rock that fades into the background. A narcissist will likely lose interest after endless responses of ‘Yes,’ ‘No,’ ‘That’s interesting,’ or ‘We’ll see.’”

“In my work, I teach both gray rock – emotional disengagement – and yellow rock ― calm, neutral, professional communication,” Swithin said. “Both are applicable here. The goal is to starve the collapse of oxygen without engaging and further fuelling the outburst.”

“One thing I always emphasise to survivors is this: Narcissistic collapse is not the end of the danger. It can be the beginning of a more dangerous phase,” Swithin said. “The loss of control that triggers collapse can also trigger escalation. This is when the individual is least regulated and most reactive.”

She recommended staying safe and grounded, whether you’re dealing with a toxic boss, high-conflict co-parent or other narcissist in your life.

“First and foremost, if you feel threatened, try to get yourself to a safe place,” Maher said. “Remember that you are not responsible for their behaviour and you do not need to ‘fix them.’”

The situation can escalate quickly, so prioritise your well-being if someone targets you during what appears to be narcissistic collapse.

“The goal is not to ‘win’ the interaction, but to protect yourself, de-escalate the situation, and maintain clear boundaries,” Germain said.

“Collapse can escalate,” Swithin said. “If you are in a domestic or co-parenting situation with someone showing these behaviours, consult with an attorney or advocate about protective options. Protect yourself legally and physically if necessary.”

If you have to interact with this person in a high-stakes legal proceeding or professional endeavour, remember to document all of your interactions and find a trusted third party.

“If you have the misfortune to be divorcing a grandiose narcissist, look for an attorney who understands how to protect you from the narcissist in family court, and a therapist who specialises in high-conflict divorce,” Gilbert advised.

Even when there isn’t a legal or professional component, you should still seek support from others ― including trusted loved ones and mental health professionals.

“If the narcissist’s attacks are relentless, consider individual or group therapy with someone specialising in narcissistic abuse,” Gilbert said.