‘My abusive boyfriend promised to change if I married him, less than a year later he raped me’

Kerstin Dunkley had never been in a proper relationship before and said she didn’t initially see his red flags

A young woman stayed with her abusive boyfriend because he promised to change when they got married – he strangled and raped her a year later.

Kerstin Dunkley was in a relationship with Conor Dunkley, from Wales, for four years after she met him at the age of 19 on Tinder while she was in Auckland, New Zealand working on a gap year from university.

After they got into a relationship and returned to the UK, Ms Dunkley was controlled, mentally and verbally abused, pushed, and slapped, by Dunkley who she believed was the ‘love of her life’.

When they got married in 2022 he promised to “change” and she hoped they could start a new life together. However, the abuse continued. Don’t miss a court report by signing up to our crime newsletter here.

Just over 12 months after tying the knot, Dunkley brutally raped her after she refused to have sex with him and he strangled to the point where she almost passed out.

Ms Dunkley, from Germany, shared her story after Dunkley, 31, was jailed for six years at Chester Crown Court. He was convicted of controlling or coercive behaviour, rape, and criminal damage.

Ms Dunkley, 28, has now chosen to waive her anonymity to encourage other women to speak out against domestic abuse.

She said: “He deserves his time in prison as he is a he is a evil and disgusting person. He ruled over my life for four years, and I am glad it is no longer.

“He promised to change so many times but his cruelty was in fact never ending.”

Ms Dunkley recalled how they “hit it off” straightaway over Tinder as she said they had “a lot in common”. However, after they became a couple the first signs of controlling behaviour began.

A few months later the couple left New Zealand and returned to Ms Dunkley’s family home in Frankfurt, Germany. Ms Dunkley said he became increasingly more aggressive and controlling and he began drinking often.

They subsequently moved to Dunkley’s grandparents house in Wales in October 2019. Two months later he proposed to her having just moved into their new home in Chester.

She said: “Being so young and not really being in a proper relationship before, I thought this was what it was supposed to be.

“I didn’t see them as red flags as I was completely wrapped around his finger and I loved him.”

They moved around Wales, Merseyside, and Cheshire, working different jobs on farms and living in free accommodation they were provided. During this time, whenever she got paid Dunkley would take all of her money.

He also cut her off from seeing friends and family, would give her week-long silent treatments and make her “beg for forgiveness”.

In November 2021 the relationship became physical when he pushed her out of the front door of a caravan they were living in and made her sleep in their car, the court heard.

She said: “He made promises that he would be better and look after and support me and I believed him like every time before especially because this time we were making such a commitment.”

By June 2023 Kerstin said she had enough of the relationship and made plans to leave but around the same time Dunkley anally raped and strangled her to the point she “feared for her life”, the court heard.

She said she stayed with him “out of fear” until August 17 when he “threatened to kill her”. The next morning, while Dunkley was asleep, Ms Dunkley packed a suitcase and fled the house.

She subsequently contacted Cheshire Police. In October 2023 an investigation was launched and Dunkley was later arrested and charged.

Dunkley, from Fern Hill, Benllech, Tyn Y Gongl, pleaded guilty to criminal damage. Following a three-day trial, he was subsequently found guilty of controlling or coercive behaviour and rape by a jury in April.

Alongside his prison sentence he was placed on the sex offenders register, ordered to pay a victim surcharge and given a restraining order.

Ms Dunkley said it was like having a “weight lifter off her shoulders” after he was jailed but “wishes” he got a longer sentence.

Following the sentencing DC Ashley Frowe said: “Dunkley’s behaviour towards this woman was vile, unforgivable and callous.”

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