The one drink you should always order from a restaurant wine list

If you can say the name of a wine without stuttering, don’t order it.  

Sure, we can all pronounce Sauvignon Blanc, Sancerre, Chablis, Côtes du Rhône and Malbec, but be warned, the ones that roll off the tongue come with the addition of a ‘pronunciation tax’.

And because it’s even easier to say ‘second wine down, please’, those come with an ‘idiot tax’ slapped on, that 80% of diners don’t know they’re paying.

If you want to drink like an insider, there’s one hack to follow, the experts say, that works every time and will ensure you’re sipping the highest quality wine for the least amount of money.

The trick is simply to order the drink you can’t pronounce.

Why it’s a good idea to go for a wine you can’t pronounce

Not many people know this, but there are certain wines on the menu that the sommelier or restaurant owner personally likes.

They squirrel them away, in nooks around the wine list. These are the bottles the staff would actually drink themselves.

These will be wines made from grapes with names that are extremely tricky to pronounce, like Agiorgitiko, Nerello Mascalese or Xinomavro.

See? They’re hard to get your mouth around.

And the best bit? The margins on the unpronounceable wines are significantly lower and provide incredible value for money. They aggressively mark them down in price to keep the stock moving.

You could say, they’re passion project wines, made from more unusual grapes, which sommeliers or restaurant owners put on their list because they make them tick. Many are under-the-radar wines, which they’ve found on a buying trip or a tasting that they simply had to put on the list, despite being a far harder sell.

Maxim Kassir, Head of Wine at The Aubrey at Mandarin Oriental Hotel in London, confirms that the less familiar wines on the list are the better value choice.

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He tells Metro: ‘Naturally, the demand for famous names is higher. Most guests prefer to stay on the beaten path. And as demand increases, so does the price – simple economics.

‘Wines off the beaten path can offer great value for money. They are often the underdogs, but that’s exactly where the opportunity is. 

‘If guests can describe their preferences and are open to trying something different, sommeliers will always have a few cards up their sleeve.’

He continues: ‘Personally, I look for wines made from indigenous grape varieties rather than international ones. Who needs another Chardonnay from Abruzzo? I’d rather go for Pecorino.’

The wines to avoid

The wines that keep the restaurant’s lights on are the likes of Sauvignon Blanc, Prosecco, Merlot, Pinot Grigio, you get the picture.

For example, at the Ivy Brasserie, a bottle of Touriga Nacional from Portugal is £47.85 a bottle, while the Argentinian Malbec starts at £57. Both bottles retail for similar prices in stores.

That’s because the popular wines work on a standard gross profit margin of 75% GP, minimum. Often 85% at swanky London restaurants. This means that a New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc, that cost the restaurant £8 a bottle, can be found on a wine list for £55.

Equally, to encourage people to taste Mencia from Spain or Austrian Zweigelt, restaurants often drop their margins to 50-60%. So, you may end up paying £30 for a bottle that costs the restaurant £15, which doubles the quality in your glass for basically half the price.

Meanwhile, the second ‘cheapest’ on the list is a trap, as it’s often the most profitable wine for the restaurant. It’s no secret that these are prime fodder for people who don’t want to opt for the house wine for fear of appearing tightfisted.  

What to do if you can’t afford the wine you can’t pronounce?

Go for another wine you can’t pronounce, that’s cheaper.

There’s always one that’s cheaper.

And if you don’t want to wade through pages of a wine list, call over the sommelier or waiter and point to the sort of price you’re able to pay and say: ‘Do you have anything really unusual for that price? I like a Pinot Noir in style.’

With that in mind, if you want to dodge the ‘pronunciation tax’ this year, look for these grapes, which are the ones being championed by UK sommeliers and restaurant owners.

And just remember, if you have to point at the wine list because you’re afraid of mangling the name, you’ve made the right choice.

Unique wines to look out for on restaurant menus

Assrytiko (ass-ear-tea-koh)

If you like Chablis (but not the strain on your wallet) and other uber-dry, clean and zesty whites, this is for you. It’s grown in mainland Greece and Santorini, and has a touch of salinity thanks to the volcanic soil.

Grüner Veltliner (groo-na-velt-leena)

For anyone who’s developed Sauvignon Blanc-fatigue and wants to try something similar, but different. Often called Gru-Vee, this is Austria’s flagship white, and gives a naughty lick of white pepper on the finish.

Godello (go-day-yo)

Albariño’s neighbour in northern Spain, but nowhere near as well-known. It’s the sommelier’s secret weapon, zesty in its youth and leaning more towards a richer White Burgundy with a bit of age, and a fraction of the price tag.

Xinomavro (Zeen-oh-mav-roh)

Greece’s signature red grape produces wines not dissimilar in style to Barolo, minus the money drain. It translates as ‘sour and black’, and it’s grown extensively in Macedonia.

Touriga Nacional (tour-eeger-nass-eeon-al)

Portugal’s flagship red grape and the backbone grape of Port. In its non-Port form, the wines are slightly Cabernet-like, with a bergamot note, like it’s been dunked with an Earl Grey teabag. I mean that in a good way.

Frappato (Fra-pat-oh)

Like a bit of Beaujolais? Give Frappato from Sicily a chance. Similar softness, fruitiness and lack of mouth-drying tannins. It’s chillable too, so be sure to show it the fridge for 20 minutes before quaffing.

And Maxim also has a few thoughts on wine to keep an eye out for on the menu.

He adds: ‘People should make a beeline for Slovenian Rebula (complex, savoury, mineral-driven), Feteasca Alba from Moldova (light and fresh with ripe stone fruit flavours), and Saperavi from Georgia (structured, full-bodied wines with lots of black fruit).’

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