A woman who swapped her home in Buckden, Cambridgeshire for a new life in the south of France has admitted that the life of an expat can be a lonely one
Quite a few of us fantasise about upping sticks and moving to a picturesque part of Europe to enjoy the sunshine and the benefits of the Mediterranean diet. But alongside the complexities of European bureaucracy – and the sheer expense – there is one other drawback that many people overlook.
Debbie Dawtrey, who moved from Buckden in Cambridgeshire to south-western France in 2023, says that one of the most significant problems she’s encountered is social isolation.
Debbie, 64, opened a small hotel in the Charente, based in the picturesque village of Confolens, and says while she’s kept very busy during the holiday season, the winter months can be a very lonely time.
She told The Times: “I didn’t know anyone in the area and while the summers are busy with guests, contacts are transient and the winters are especially hard as people hunker down and close the shutters.”
Debbie, who is single, says that she’s found a way of rebuilding her social life by organising a regular supper club for other expats: “Every month we’d take turns in hosting a dinner and had lots of fun,” she says, “it helped broaden our social circle.”
Debbie adds that it’s all too easy to become isolated when you move far away from family and friends, and advises “you have to really make an effort to put yourself out there”.
Even if you’ve made an effort to pick up the local language, the ability to strike up a casual conversation can be much more difficult compared to meeting people in the UK.
While some people might hang out in a local bar, or even join a health club, they’re easier to find in larger towns and cities. Starting a new life in the French countryside – or even in a rural community in the UK, can represent quite a challenge.
Even if they are operating on quite a large budget, expats can find themselves longing for the life they left behind. Earlier this year, Kate Ferdinand opened up about her homesickness after she and her football star husband Rio relocated to Dubai.
Speaking on her ‘Blended’ podcast in February, Kate broke down in tears and admitted she was missing her loved ones back home. Kate and Rio moved to the UAE last August and while her husband is “loving” his new life out there, things aren’t quite as rosy for Kate.
“I am enjoying it, but I miss home quite a lot,” she admitted. “I can’t talk about it because I get upset. I feel like we’ve opened our eyes to a different world. But I love London. I do feel happy in Dubai, but I’m just missing a part of me.”
A friend of the couple told The Mirror that the move to Dubai hasn’t worked out the way Kate had hoped, and she finds the glittering Middle-eastern city itself “soulless.” They revealed: “She’s struggling. She’s really missing home. She’s not enjoying it. And even though she’s got the kids and she’s got Rio there, she’s homesick. She can’t stop it and it’s very difficult. It’s just not home.”
Kate is also missing her stepchildren. While Rio’s daughter Tia, 14, made the move to the UAE with them, his eldest sons Lorenz, 19, Tate, 17, remained in the UK to focus on their budding football careers – a move which has caused further anguish for Kate.
Speaking on her podcast, she confessed, “I miss the big boys a lot and I’m struggling with that. I know this decision is right for my younger children and as a family we are settled there, but the boys are following their football careers. So they’re doing what they want to do, otherwise they’d be with us.”
She added: “But it’s very hard because we’ve been through so much as a family and we’ve always been together and that’s a huge adjustment.”
You must be logged in to post a comment Login