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Politics

5 Signs You’re ‘Emotionally Over-Functioning’

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5 Signs You're 'Emotionally Over-Functioning'

Do you sometimes feel like your feelings need to stay on the back burner while you attend to everyone else’s, or find yourself saying “Don’t worry about me!” far too often?

This, BACP member therapist Joanne Strong said, could be a sign of “emotional over-functioning”.

Emotional over-functioning is “is where one person takes on responsibility for
another person’s feelings, emotional processing and regulation,” she explained.

“This is usually a habit rooted in childhood and isn’t usually a conscious decision, more a way of being that the individual has learnt to inhabit.”

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Here, HuffPost UK asked Strong how to spot the signs of emotional over-functioning, as well as how it can affect your relationship and what to do if you notice it.

What are the signs of emotional over-functioning?

“If one person is emotionally over-functioning in a relationship, they will be attempting to process the feelings of the other person, or to keep the other person emotionally regulated,” the therapist said.

That can take a lot of different forms, she added.

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But some common manifestations may include:

  1. Minimising, and feeling somewhat out of touch with, your own feelings,
  2. Feeling that the experiences, emotions, and needs of the ‘recipient’ of the emotional over-functioning take up more space or ‘air time’,
  3. Avoiding, redirecting, and/or shutting down some emotions, like anger,
  4. Resentment on both sides “and a reduction in intimacy, as the dynamic can interfere with the natural flow of feelings and communication between partners,”
  5. An emerging parent-child dynamic as responsibilities feel unequally shared.

How can emotional over-functioning affect relationships?

Strong said the dynamic often creates distance and resentment between couples.

“For the person who is emotionally over-functioning, they might start to feel they are ‘doing all of the work’, that their feelings ‘don’t matter.’”

Loneliness may creep in for this person, who could be left to feel that they’re dealing with their emotions alone.

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“For the recipient, there is often frustration, a feeling of being unheard, as their feelings are expressed or soothed by their partner without them getting the chance to explore and express what is going on in their internal world themselves,” she added.

“The parent-child dynamic inherent in this pattern can lead to a power imbalance which will often show up in other ways.”

What should I do if I think I’m emotionally over-functioning?

Strong pointed out that many people who emotionally over-function learned the bahaviour as a child, when they may have felt the pressure to regulate others’ emotions to help control their environment.

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“It is a pattern of looking after what is ‘on the outside’, so that what is
‘on the inside’ can feel some safety and security. What gets left out is the internal world of the child, and this persists into adulthood,” she said.

To address this, the therapist added, we need to turn our attention inwards – “To tend to, explore, express and regulate the feelings that belong to self rather than other.

“Anything that fosters internal awareness and connection can help: meditation, journaling, creativity, yoga, self-expression. Therapy can be incredibly helpful because the focus is on cultivating this self-contact and care,” she ended.

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Espresso Bombs: TikTok’s Trending Drink, Explained

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Espresso Bombs: TikTok's Trending Drink, Explained

Depending on how you spent your young adulthood and/or your powers of judgement, you may have heard of Jägerbombs.

These involve a pint glass filled with an energy drink, into which you must plop a shot glass of German liqueur Jägermeister. The pair are drunk together in ill-advised gulps of sloppy hedonism.

In these more sober times, though, the most recent iteration of the drinking style involves zero booze at all.

Enter: the espresso bomb.

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What is an espresso bomb and how are they made?

It’s a bit like its Jägerbomb cousin, but instead of an energy drink, you use sparkling water or tonic water as the “big glass liquid”.

And in place of a liqueur shot, TikTokers, like coffee enthusiast Dr Coffist, use a single or double espresso.

Espresso bombs have an added step, though.

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To create a more dramatic fizz, rub the exposed side of a sliced lemon on the bottom of the espresso glass before dipping it into some salt and then plopping it in the larger cup.

Coffee company Golden Brown Coffee described the combination as “the ultimate cure for your weekend hangover”.

They’re not the only ones to recommend that particular application of the drink.

@join_jules

Had a little too much wine last night? Try this hangover hack: ESPRESSO BOMB 💣 I found the tonic water gives you a little sugar bump you need to help curve your hangover

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♬ RALLY FUNKED – VYNXCIUZ

Are espresso bombs safe?

Performance nutrition specialist and health and wellbeing consultant, Dan Osman from meal prep delivery service Prep Kitchen, said: “While the ‘espresso bomb’ trend isn’t necessarily unhealthy in itself, the biggest issue is the dose.

“People often underestimate how much caffeine they’re actually consuming, especially when double espresso shots are involved.”

He noted that a double espresso can contain anywhere from 120-150 mg of caffeine. Most adults are advised to stay under 400mg a day.

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So, while the drink itself might not make you jittery, you risk a caffeine overdose if you’ve already had coffee that day.

Timing matters too, Osman said.

“Caffeine has a half-life of around 8-10 hours, which means it can remain active in your system long after consumption. That’s where we start to see potential issues with disrupted sleep, increased anxiety, and elevated heart rate if intake isn’t managed carefully.”

For that reason, he says, we should try not to consume “espresso bombs” after about 1-2pm.

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As for those hangover claims, the expert said: “The addition of a salty or citrus rim may contribute trace electrolytes, but should not be viewed as a meaningful replacement for proper hydration or a nutritional benefit in itself”.

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Everything A Shopping Writer Tested In June That’s Worth Your Money

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Everything A Shopping Writer Tested In June That's Worth Your Money

We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, HuffPost UK may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

As you can imagine, it’s rare that a day goes by where I’m not testing at least one new product. If you think you have change fatigue, I challenge you to a duel.

Of course, I love it really, and I often find myself asking people for recommendations of their favourite products so I can try even more – I can’t get enough.

And, look, you work hard for your money, so you deserve to know what to spend it on.

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If you’ve been wondering whether that electric toothbrush on your Instagram is worth your money, or if you should spend a grand on a robot vacuum or LED blanket, I got you – I’ve probably tested it already.

To keep you on the straight and narrow with your spending, I’ve rounded up everything I tested in June that I think is worth your money. It is pay day, after all.

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Is a fan march better than a Super Bowl parade?

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Is a fan march better than a Super Bowl parade?

Kansas City Mayor Quinton Lucas has participated in three Super Bowl parades and one World Series parade celebrating his hometown Chiefs and Royals.

None compared to when Netherlands fans marched through downtown Kansas City, Missouri, ahead of their team’s June 25 game at Arrowhead Stadium.

“It is special and different,” Lucas said, with a politician’s reluctance to get on the wrong side of a beloved hometown team.

Kansas City will host its knockout round game Friday: a match between Colombia and Ghana. Lucas was instrumental in making it happen, a key player in Kansas City’s bid to bring the World Cup to Missouri. Now he is basking in the moment — dancing to “Links Recht” with the Dutch, waving around an Ecuadorian flag and dancing with Mexican fans.

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Like nearly every host city, Kansas City faced criticism ahead of the games over the challenging logistics of herding thousands of fans to a stadium that’s used to tailgaters instead of international tourists, the sky-high price of tickets and underwhelming hotel bookings.

Those concerns appear to have dissipated with the arrival of thousands of fans, which brought forth a cultural exchange that inspired the University of Kansas marching band to memorize the Algerian national anthem; caused Boston cops to stand by as Scotsmen decorated the city’s statues with traffic cones; and left Frenchmen puzzled as to why “Go Birds” comes at the end of interactions in Philly.

“I think it’s a huge win for us,” Lucas said. “I know there’s some discourse and scuttlebutt on the wisdom or not of some American cities, and not applying to be World Cup host countries. I have never regretted it, and I certainly don’t regret it right now.”

Kansas City is the only Midwestern city to host games, after Chicago passed on making a bid. Lucas said the experience of serving as the representative for the middle of the country has allowed Kansas City to be “central diplomats” for the United States, welcoming in foreign fans with barbecue and block parties.

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“Say what you will about what happens in corridors in Washington, Brussels or beyond,” Lucas said. “We’ve had the chance to share the best of America. And I think the best of America is its welcoming environment.”

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Yellowstone Creator Addresses Kevin Costner’s Exit From The Show

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Taylor Sheridan and Kevin Costner pictured together in 2018

The man behind Landman, Lioness and 1883 recently appeared on The Bill Simmons Podcast, where he opened up about Kevin’s involvement in his critically-acclaimed western TV show.

Kevin appeared on Yellowstone as ranch owner John Dutton from its 2018 premiere until he quit in 2023.

His character was shockingly killed off in the last ever episode, which aired in 2024.

During his interview with Bill Simmons, Taylor claimed that Kevin was actually “only supposed to be in the first three seasons” of Yellowstone.

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“That was in his contract,” he explained. “In my mind, that’s when his youngest son takes over [on the show].”

He then suggested that the “network was so scared of not having Kevin be a part” of Yellowstone, “even though Kevin was ready” to leave, that his character ended up staying around a lot longer than intended.

Taylor Sheridan and Kevin Costner pictured together in 2018
Taylor Sheridan and Kevin Costner pictured together in 2018

The TV showrunner added that Kevin had wanted to go and work on other projects, but continued for another two seasons because Yellowstone ended up becoming “such a behemoth”.

“It was such a huge hit,” he added. “The notion of giving up a hit before it had run out of juice to squeeze is very foreign to a network.”

But, Taylor told the podcast, eventually the Oscar-winning star decided he needed to “go do [his] own thing”.

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His exit from the drama prompted Taylor to end Yellowstone prematurely, and continue the story as the recently-released spin-off Dutton Ranch, revolving around Kevin’s character’s daughter, Beth.

Taylor had previously shot down rumours of a backstage falling out between him and Kevin at the time.

“[Kevin leaving] truncates the closure of his character. It doesn’t alter it, but it truncates it,” he told the Hollywood Reporter in May 2023.

“My last conversation with Kevin was that he had this passion project he wanted to direct. He and the network were arguing about when he could be done with Yellowstone. I said, ‘We can certainly work a schedule toward [his preferred exit date],’ which we did.”

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Despite this speculation about behind-the-scenes tension, the Oscar-nominated Hell Or High Water writer praised Kevin’s work on the show.

“His creation of John Dutton is symbolic and powerful [and] I’ve never had an issue with Kevin that he and I couldn’t work out on the phone,” he insisted.

Kevin Costner was only supposed to stay a short while in Yellowstone – but stayed because the show became a "behemoth" beyond anyone's expectations
Kevin Costner was only supposed to stay a short while in Yellowstone – but stayed because the show became a “behemoth” beyond anyone’s expectations

Paramount/Kobal/Shutterstock

Kevin shed light on his decision to leave Yellowstone during his September 2023 divorce hearing.

While on the stand, the Waterworld actor shared that a “long, hard-fought negotiation” about splitting season five into two parts was behind his decision to leave.

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He explained that he needed to focus on his own Western epic, the four-part movie series Horizon: An American Saga, which would have been impossible to do alongside Yellowstone’s filming schedule.

Kevin testified during the divorce court hearing that he wanted to return for the sixth season of Yellowstone, but negotiations fell apart.

“They offered me less money than previous seasons, there were issues with the creative,” he alleged.

Yellowstone and Dutton Ranch are both available to stream on Paramount+.

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Empire State Intruders Engaged?

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Empire State Intruders Engaged?

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It Turns Out Eliana Is A Pretty Popular Baby Name In 2026

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It Turns Out Eliana Is A Pretty Popular Baby Name In 2026

Olivia’s been knocked off the top spot as the most popular baby name for girls in 2026, according to BabyCentre, with Eliana claiming the top spot.

Considered a modern alternative to the name Eleanor, Eliana has two meanings. In Hebrew, it translates to “my God has answered” while the name is also thought to derive from the Greek word for “sun” (ílios).

According to The Bump, Eliana ranks 29th in popularity in the US (according to birth data). Common nicknames derived from it include: Ellie, Elle, Liana and Ana.

BabyCentre’s naming expert SJ Strum said: “It’s no surprise to see Eliana reach the top of the charts. Parents are increasingly looking for names that feel special and memorable, that will also grow effortlessly with their child.”

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She added that Eliana is “elegant, meaningful and timeless”.

The name made a big jump in popularity, up four places this year. Isabella also climbed into the top 10, rising eight places to rank fifth.

Muhammad is the most popular boy’s name on BabyCentre, closely followed by Noah.

Muhammad is derived from Arabic and means “the praised one” or “worthy of praise” – some Muslim families will give their boys this name as a way to honor the Prophet Muhammad.

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The latest Office for National Statistics (ONS) data on popular baby names in England and Wales (from 2024) suggested Olivia, Amelia and Lily were the most popular girls’ names, and Muhammad, Noah and Oliver were the most popular boy’s names.

Interestingly, Eliana didn’t feature in the top 100 names at all.

When asked how they determined Eliana was now the most popular girls’ name, BabyCentre told me the rankings are compiled using data provided directly by users when they join the site – as part of this process, parents share what they called their baby.

Without further ado, here are their top girls’ and boys’ names for this year so far (as per BabyCentre’s user data)…

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Top girls’ names

Top boys’ names

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How To Respond To Kids Who Complain And Whine All The Time

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How To Respond To Kids Who Complain And Whine All The Time

There comes a point in every parent’s life when their sprogs discover the art of whining – and boy, can it grate.

While the odd whine is fine (who doesn’t need a good moan now and then?), when whining becomes the default, or children seem to constantly complain, it can be exhausting – especially when you’re trying to work, look after them, juggle endless amounts of life admin (yours and theirs), and everything else in between.

Such is the case for one parent of two young girls aged six and nine, who shared that their children’s complaints are “constant” – and it’s starting to really get to them.

“I reached the point that when I am working alone from home and I hear the main door opening (meaning they are back) I pre-stress and I start to have palpitations,” said the parent on Reddit’s r/Parenting forum. “It should not be like this.”

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Why do kids whine?

Abigail Finnegan, a psychotherapist and member of Counselling Directory, said: “For many of us who have worked in the field of child development we know only too well that if a child feels that they can’t get the attention they need through being delightful, they will instead resort to less ‘delightful’ ways to be noticed – because, after all, any attention is better than no attention at all!”

Plenty of parents are increasingly stretched to capacity (a survey from this year found nine in 10 mums have experienced burnout) and unless you’ve got a village nearby, or have a lot of money to throw at childcare, you’re very much on your own.

Add this to the fact we’re increasingly living in fast-paced environments where, as Finnegan says, parents have to meet the competing demands of employers, schools, other children, ageing parents and then kids are coming home from school “past the point of exhaustion”.

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Mix it all up and you’ve got a recipe for whiny behaviour.

When we’re stressed and bustling about like headless chickens (which I’ll be the first to admit is my default setting) it’s easy to forget that underneath all that whining and complaining is a need to communicate something.

Psychotherapist Pei-I Yang, also a Counselling Directory member, said: “Children often don’t have the words to say ‘I feel overwhelmed’ or ‘nobody’s really listening to me’, so it can leak out as moaning instead.

“The whining isn’t the problem. It’s a communication for parents from their children telling them that something underneath needs attention.”

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The worst way to respond to whining

When your kid whines, your instinct is probably to say something along the lines of: “stop complaining”, “try to be more positive” or “some kids would love what you’ve got”.

However Yang highlights that more often than not, this can leave children feeling “brushed off”. And a child who feels brushed off “tends to complain more, not less”. Eek.

The best way to respond to whining

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If whining is your child’s way of communicating something, therapists suggest the best way to nip it in the bud is to get to the bottom of why they’re whining. Or at least try to.

“It’s important to verbally acknowledge to both yourself and your child that there is obviously something making them unhappy – otherwise they wouldn’t be whining!” said Finnegan. “The questions is: what to do about it?”

Her advice for parents is to slow down and check no one is hungry or thirsty. (“Healthy snacks in a bag can make a huge difference to mood at the end of a long day,” she added.)

“As hard as it can be when you’re tired as a parent, maybe ask yourself when the last time was that you were able to slow down enough to play or talk with your child without distractions?” added the therapist. “Is it possible to create some time, on a regular basis, just to be with your child?”

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If they get plenty of time with you but still complain a lot, sometimes it can help to simply validate their emotions. Yang noted that even a simple “that does sound annoying” can take the heat out of the moment, because they feel heard.

If your teenager has taken to complaining a lot of late, instead of trying to fix or lecture, Yang encourages parents to be curious. You could ask something along the lines of: “You’ve seemed really fed up lately, what’s going on?”

“Often the small complaints are hiding something bigger, and it’s the space to talk, without you rushing to solve it, that helps them open up,” she explained.

“Whatever their age, it comes down to the same thing: connection and being curious before correction. A child who feels genuinely heard rarely needs to complain to be noticed.”

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Trump Chief Says There Are ‘Guys Living In Caves’ Responsible For Strait Of Hormuz Debacle

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Trump Chief Says There Are ‘Guys Living In Caves’ Responsible For Strait Of Hormuz Debacle

National Economic Council Director Kevin Hassett gave an eyebrow-raising explanation for the ongoing issues with the Strait of Hormuz while speaking Wednesday with Fox Business’ Maria Bartiromo.

The conversation kicked off after Bartiromo asked Hassett for an update on the strait after oil prices recently dropped since the conflict with Iran began in February. The war caused the closure of the strait, a crucial shipping chokepoint for global oil.

“Today’s national average gasoline [is] now at $3.84 a gallon, that’s down from $4.32 a month ago, Kevin. Is there anything you could tell us in terms of the update in the strait this morning?” Bartiromo questioned in a clip obtained by Mediaite.

“Right. Well, the president gets an update on the movement every day and a lot of that update is classified so one has to speak carefully and gently about it. The bottom line is the traffic went way up basically after the deal was made ― way, way up, heading up close to what you would expect,” Hassett began.

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Noting “there were a couple of hiccup days,” he then blamed “guys living in caves” for the debacle.

“One of the ways to think about the straits is that there are a bunch of guys living in caves that live in the straits that may or may not be in steady communication with the people that we’re negotiating with who have stuff, you know, like, little better than a rubber band that they can shoot at a boat.”

Hassett continued, “Whether there will be a few more of those or not is something that nobody knows, but the bottom line is, there are very good faith negotiations going on with leaders. … We expect very much that this is going to be something that cruises to normalcy sometime really, really soon.”

Hassett’s remarks came after mixed messaging over the last few weeks from the Trump administration and Iran about the state of the Strait of Hormuz, including nuclear inspections and shipping.

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Listen to Commons People, the podcast that makes politics easy. Every week, Kevin Schofield and Kate Nicholson unpack the week’s biggest stories to keep you informed. Join us for straightforward analysis of what’s going on at Westminster.

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Hillary Clinton: Trump, Republican Party Know They ‘Can’t Win A Fair Fight’

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Hillary Clinton: Trump, Republican Party Know They 'Can’t Win A Fair Fight'

Hillary Clinton thinks it’s obvious why President Donald Trump and the Republican Party are so eager to make it harder for Americans to vote.

In an interview with Democracy Docket released on Wednesday, the former presidential candidate applauded the Supreme Court’s decision to uphold a Mississippi law granting a grace period for late arriving mail-in ballots, and told host Marc Elias that the Republican Party knows curbing ballot access is “the only way they can win.”

“They can’t win a fair fight, which is why Trump is so obsessed with stealing voter rolls and purging voters and making up ridiculous claims about people not eligible as citizens for voting,” she said, calling his claims about rampant election fraud “so vanishingly non-existent, it’s laughable.”

Clinton continued, “But that’s his game because he can’t win a fair fight, and his Republican Party, which has become a cult answering only to him, can’t win a fair fight.”

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While the Trump administration’s attack on mail-in voting was snuffed out by the Supreme Court, the president and his party are still working on other ways to upend the election process.

In early 2025, Texas Republican Representative Chip Roy introduced a bill for the Safeguard American Voter Eligibility Act, also known as the SAVE Act.

The highly contentious legislation would require people to provide in-person proof of citizenship to register to vote, largely eliminating online and mail-in registration, in addition to imposing photo ID requirements at the polls.

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Though the SAVE Act got House approval, it stalled out in the Senate, forcing Trump to get creative about how to pressure lawmakers into voting for his pet project.

Late last month, he announced he was refusing to sign a bipartisan-backed housing affordability bill until the SAVE Act got passed.

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New York girds for a weekend of Taylor Swift, salutes and soccer

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New York girds for a weekend of Taylor Swift, salutes and soccer

NEW YORK — New York City has begun one of the busiest weekends in its history — Taylor Swift’s wedding celebration at Madison Square Garden today, a series of air, land and water celebrations for America’s 250th birthday tomorrow and a World Cup match in northern New Jersey on Sunday.

Mayor Zohran Mamdani, NYPD Commissioner Jessica Tisch and a top Coast Guard official outlined their weekend plans Tuesday by sharing heat advisories, noise warnings, road closures and security precautions for land, air and sea.

“We have a comprehensive security plan in place for each of these events to ensure that everyone can enjoy the festivities safely,” Mamdani said.

Mamdani and Tisch, standing side by side, said that there are no specific or credible threats against the city but that they’re operating in a “heightened threat environment.” The comments came shortly before a couple scaled the top of the Empire State Building and unfurled a banner.

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Police will be out in force and on 12-hour shifts. They’ll be deploying bomb-sniffing dogs, conducting security screenings at designated viewing areas and continuing to use anti-drone technology, which has so far intercepted nearly 100 drones that have flown into restricted air space since the World Cup’s outset.

The NYPD expects to spend about $92 million in overtime and other expenses for major events this summer. During the press conference at police headquarters, Mamdani ducked a question about whether Swift should be picking up the security tab for her wedding. Tisch described it as “an event that we are tracking” and said the “NYPD will, of course, have a detail in place.” Swift canceled a series of concerts in Austria in 2024 because of a terrorist plot.

It will be unusually noisy. A naval review Saturday morning, which Vice President JD Vance is expected to attend, will include a series of warships that will each conduct a 21-gun salute. The Macy’s fireworks show will be the biggest ever, with 85,000 fireworks shells, Tisch said.

It will also be hot. Mamdani has separately announced a plan to help cope with record temperatures expected to hit the city in coming days — officials have warned it may feel as hot as 112 degrees. The city plans to open cooling shelters across the five boroughs, along with a first-ever fleet of vans to help people get to them.

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The weekend will be capped by Sunday’s knockout match between Brazil and Norway at MetLife Stadium, although the attendant celebrations by the winning team’s fans will probably cross the Hudson River. Some may even try to row.

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