How Women Are More Impacted By Death Admin In The UK

The loss of a loved one is a heavy weight and one that all of us will experience throughout our lives. The emotional toll alone can make day to day life incredibly difficult to cope with.

This is before we even consider the practical and financial elements of loss which, according to the loss experts at Empathy, fall disproportionately on women in the UK.

HuffPost UK spoke exclusively with Clare Dodd, UK General Manager at Empathy who shared: “When we talk about bereavement, the first thing people think of is the emotional devastation – how awful it must be to not have that person in your life anymore.

“But what often gets overlooked, and can be equally painful to deal with, is the practical avalanche that follows a death. And in the UK, that burden disproportionately falls on women.”

This is partially because Census data reveals women are significantly more likely to be widowed than men, and around three quarters of bereavement benefit claimants are female according to DWP data.

Dodd adds: “Beyond the statistics, we see a clear pattern amongst the people we work with: women are often the ones left navigating the administrative tasks of loss, while handling their own grief.

“And the to-do list can be lengthy – planning a funeral, contacting pension providers, closing bank accounts, organising the funeral, dealing with probate, all while holding the family together emotionally.”

Of course, this leads to a lot of stress on women. According to Empathy’s research, women are almost 40% more likely than men to suffer physical symptoms of stress, and 60% more likely to experience psychological symptoms post-loss.

Dodd adds: “We’re also seeing the ramifications of traditional gender stereotypes around finances play out in grief. Empathy’s research found that women are more likely to report being uninvolved in long-term household financial planning, such as managing advisers, pensions and insurance.”

This aligns with UK data showing 70% of people who manage household finances alone are men. Additionally, research from Canada Life also found nearly half of couples don’t know where their partner’s will is kept, highlighting how financial visibility gaps are widespread.

“So when a partner dies, some women are not just grieving; they’re also suddenly trying to understand pensions, investments or debts they may never have been fully included in, find the details for a financial adviser they’ve never met or figure out which insurer to contact,” says Dodd.

“That cognitive load is huge. Grief already affects memory, concentration and decision-making. Layer complex bureaucracy on top of that and it can become very difficult to cope.”

We wrote last year about how death admin becomes a secondary trauma for grieving people, and Dodd agrees, saying: ” Every bank, insurer and utility provider has its own process. People have to repeat the same painful information again and again, which makes it incredibly difficult to begin the healing journey.

“The way bereavement works from a policy perspective doesn’t make this any easier, which is a real shame. Outside of child bereavement, there is no guaranteed statutory paid leave for losing a spouse or partner in the UK.

“Many people get just a couple of compassionate days off work, and then they’re expected to return while still navigating funeral arrangements and legal processes, as well as the emotional implications of a loss that they may not have fully processed yet. A few days off simply doesn’t reflect the magnitude of what bereavement involves.”

I asked Dodd what we could do to support women when they’re dealing with this avalanche of admin. She said: “The people we work with often tell us they feel isolated but don’t know why, since a lot of family and friends might be checking in, bringing food or saying things like ‘let me know if you need anything.’

“For most people though, it feels too daunting to make a specific ask – and sometimes they don’t even know what to ask for. So the best support you can give to anyone navigating the admin of loss, regardless of gender, is to offer practical, bite-size support.

“Little things like researching the process for cancelling their loved one’s driver’s licence or sourcing the number for the right department at the bank can be hugely helpful”

She adds that while your loved one may be capable of managing all of this, they may not have the bandwidth to, saying: “Remember this is not about capability. It’s about capacity. Someone might be perfectly competent or independent, but grief shrinks your bandwidth. Reducing decision fatigue is a real form of care.”

It’s not a comfortable topic to address but Dodd says: “The single most protective thing couples can do is talk openly about money and logistics before anything happens. Both partners should know where key documents are kept, understand what accounts exist, and feel confident accessing them. Passwords and important contacts should be documented somewhere secure but accessible.

“It’s never nice to think about death, but keeping your will up to date is so crucial. Remember big life changes like getting married, divorced or having a child can invalidate previous wills or signal changes to intestacy if someone dies without a will.

“If there are big changes to your assets, for example purchasing a new or additional property, it’s also a great time to review both your will and your insurance cover.”

• Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
• Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI – this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
• CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
• The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
• Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.