Politics

Starmer makes pathetic excuses for McSweeney

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Keir Starmer is busy trotting out another set of excuses for yet another political scandal. Morgan McSweeney is the ex-Downing Street chief of staff who resigned in disgrace in February this year. McSweeney resigned to take the fall for the hiring of Peter Mandelson – a man that Starmer knew was a close associate of the international paedophile Jeffrey Epstein. Now, it’s emerged that McSweeney conveniently had his phone stolen not long after Mandelson got the boot.

Given the timeline, many have accused McSweeney of faking the incident to destroy any messages between himself and Mandelson. Given what we know about the ‘theft’, this is arguably more plausible than the official narrative, and yet Starmer has responded as follows:

Is it really any more “far fetched” than what we know for certain – i.e. that Starmer hired Mandelson in the first place despite everything he knew about the man?

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Starmer losing control

At this point, we know McSweeney reported his phone stolen in October 2025 – the month after Mandelson got shitcanned from his position as ambassador to the US. In what the BBC described as an “unusual step”, the police have released a full transcript of the call between McSweeney and the police:

Call handler: Police, what’s your emergency?

Caller: Oh, hello, someone just robbed my phone.

Call handler: Did they actually take it from you just now?

Caller: Yeah

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Call handler: How did they get away?

Caller: So he’s on a bike. He’s come onto the pavement to grab my phone and cycled off on a bike.

Call handler: And where did this happen?

Caller: It happened in Belgrave Street* in Westminster.

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*We now know that the incident took place in Belgrave Road, Westminster. The call handler inputs Belgrave Street and it provides a matching road name in Tower Hamlets, which is what is recorded in error. There are further references to locations near to Belgrave Street in Tower Hamlets later in the call, which compounds the issue.

Call handler: And whose phone are you using now?

Caller: I’ve got two phones. I’m using my personal one. That was my work one.

Call handler: Can I take the phone number for this phone you’re calling on?

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Caller: Yeah, 07XXXXXXXXX.

Call handler: Thank you. And you said Belgrave Street, yeah?

Caller: Yeah, just kind of going back to the location.

Call handler: Don’t put yourself at any risk. It’s not worth it over a phone. I appreciate it’s frustrating.

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Call handler: And which way did they go towards, this suspect on a bike?

Caller: He went. He travels north. I saw him for a few blocks.

Call handler: So where were you when you last saw him? Have you got any idea?

Caller: Yeah, so.

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Call handler: Did you get up to Stepney?

Caller: Let me tell you where I got to. I’m just going back to where I can.

Caller: So he turned right. Sorry, he turned left. There’s a park on top of the road and he turned left there.

Call handler: Stepney Green Park, ok.

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Caller: Yeah. He turned left there.

Call handler: Can you remember anything about his appearance?

Caller: Yeah, he was young. He was a black guy. He was on a bike.

Call handler: About how young?

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Call handler: Just a guess.

Caller: Teens. Late teens.

Call handler: Was he skinny, tall, any idea?

Caller: Yeah. He was slim. He was about average height.

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Call handler: Was it an e bike or pedal bike?

Caller: Pedal bike.

Call handler: Have you got a tracker on the phone at all?

Caller: I do. It’s a government phone.

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Call handler: And it’s your work phone. What kind of phone is it?

Caller: It’s an iPhone.

Call handler: Do you know what model?

Caller: I don’t.

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[PAUSE]

Call handler: Right, just bear with me a second.

Call handler: We would normally deploy to see you but at the moment, we are having extreme demand on police officers. So, I don’t know if you would prefer to make your way home and make a crime report over the phone or online tomorrow. I mean, I can complete one with you now. I can pass this down, you can wait, but I honestly do not know how long you’ll be waiting,

Caller: If I could complete it now that would be good.

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Call handler: Ok.

Call handler: What’s your name, please?

Caller: My name is XXXXXXXXXX.

Call handler: XXXXXXXXXX? (repeats name back)

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Caller: Yeah.

Call handler: And your date of birth, please?

Caller: It’s XXXXXX

Call handler: Is XXXXXXXXX (surname) all one word?

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Caller: Yeah, (spells surname).

Call handler: And what’s your home address?

Caller: (Provides non-London address)

Call handler: So you live in XXXXXX?

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Caller: Yeah.

Call handler: Are you staying anywhere while you’re in London?

Caller: Yeah.

Call handler: Sorry, it just takes a little bit longer to deal with an address outside of the Met. I do apologise.

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Caller: It’s ok.

Call handler: And may I take an email for you please (name)?

Caller: Yeah, it’s [email protected] (personal email address)

Call handler: You’ll get a copy of the preliminary crime report through to that email.

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Call handler: How would you like to be contacted by an investigating officer? By email or phone?

Caller: Phone, please. Or either, I’m not fussed.

Call handler: Have you got any finance apps on the phone?

Caller: No.

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Call handler: You’ll need to change any passwords for any logins you do have on the phone.

Caller: Yeah, okay.

Call handler: You’re not vulnerable in any way. Are you?

Caller: No I’m not.

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Call handler: Do you believe there was any CCTV near where the incident happened?

Caller: Might be. [Inaudible] away from location.

Call handler: Don’t worry. Don’t return. No, I’ll just put at the moment unknown. And obviously, if we find out more, we find out more.

Call handler: Are you willing to make a statement to support the investigation?

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Caller: Definitely.

Call handler: So what time did he actually snatch the phone?

Caller: About two minutes before I rung you and I chased, and then I rang my office to get the phone tracked and then I rang you.

Call handler: Okay, cool. It would have been about 25 past that you were robbed.

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Caller: A little before, about 23 minutes past, I think.

Call handler: 23? Little bit before? Okay.

[PAUSE]

Call handler: Just bear with me, I’m just trying to get this system to accept the address. Sorry about this. I won’t keep you much longer.

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Call handler: If you do get any tracking updates, what you do is you give us call back if the phone is stationary.

Caller: Yeah.

Call handler: And we can review attending then. We can’t guarantee attending a moving phone at all, but if it’s been stationary for a few…

Call handler: It’s not accepting your address.

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Caller: I can give you my London address?

Call handler: It’s alright. I’ve nearly got this to work.

Caller: Okay

Call handler: How long you staying in London?

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Caller: So I come to London every week. I work in London.

Call handler: Oh, I see. Okay, that makes sense.

Caller: So I’ll be here till Thursday.

Call handler: Okay.

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[PAUSE]

Call handler: As I was trying to say, I’ve got this sorted now, so I’ll be texting you a crime reference number in the next few moments. Along with the crime reference number will be a CHS reference number. If you need to give us a call back, you can call back giving that reference number from any device, and then we’ll be able to link it straight away to your crime report and review deploying. We will need to know a bit more details about the phone itself, so when you’re contacted by the investigating officer, or if you do get tracking details, you can call us back with the IMEI number, and the type of phone that it is that would be super helpful.

Caller: All right, thank you.

Call handler: All right, I’m just about to text you through the crime reference number now.

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Caller: Thank you so much. You’ve been really helpful.

Call handler: No worries. All right, (name). You take care now, okay? Bye.

Caller: Bye bye.

If you’re confused as to why the Downing Street chief of staff called the police and not MI6, you’re far from alone. As Sky News reported, McSweeney:

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was the prime minister’s chief of staff, so the PM’s most senior political advisor. His phone contained the contact details for and messages with Sir Keir Starmer, the cabinet, and the most senior British officials.

This is information that the foreign intelligence services of adversaries like Russia, China and Iran would be very interested in obtaining.

Why are we keeping James Bond on the payroll if not for instances like this?

It gets worse, too, because McSweeney also left out crucial information in his call to the police.

Starmer steps in

In the video above, Starmer says:

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The phone was stolen. It was reported to the police. There’s a transcript of the call in which Morgan McSweeney gives his name, his date of birth, the details of the phone and the police confirm that it was reported.

Unfortunately, there are thefts like this. It was stolen. It was reported at the time, the police have acknowledged and confirmed that … and the idea that somehow everybody could have seen that some time in the future there’d be a request over the phone is, to my mind, a little bit far-fetched.

Starmer leaves out key details here, though:

McSweeney also failed to inform the police that he was one of the most important people in the country from a security perspective, and that the loss of his phone could result in an international incident. But yes, as Starmer said, he did at least give his date of birth – so well done for getting that right, Mr McSweeney.

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This wasn’t the only way in which shifty Starmer gave a false impression:

As Saul Staniforth highlighted, it’s hard to fathom that McSweeney should have left this to the Metropolitan Police:

Others have noted that protocols around this sort of thing are much higher than the government is expecting us to believe:

It’s looking so bad for the government that even Labour MPs are calling bullshit:

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Defending the indefensible

Some are defending the government’s limp defence; among them is Huff Post editor Kevin Schofield. Schofield’s defence was so bad that it was quickly torn apart by GB News founder and human whoopee cushion Andrew Neil:

Others have highlighted there may be other ways to access the WhatsApp messages between McSweeney and Mandelson, meaning there was no reason for the ex chief of staff to destroy his phone:

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There is a logic to this if all the WhatsApps materialise, but there’s something else to consider; who else was McSweeney communicating with, and what apps did he use to contact them?

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Because his phone was ‘stolen’, we may never know.

And let’s be real; this whole affair stinks to high heaven.

Featured image via Sky News

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