The Topics That Kids With ADHD And Autism Bring Up Most In Therapy

What Kids Are Carrying is a HuffPost UK series focusing on how the nation’s youngest generation is *really* feeling right now – and how parents and caregivers can support them.

When I reached out to therapists and counsellors about the themes that cropped up most in therapy among kids in 2025, one common thread was the impact of being neurodivergent.

If someone is neurodivergent, their brain “diverges from what is considered typical”, according to SEN psychotherapist Gee Eltringham. This can encompass ADHD, autism, dyslexia, dyspraxia and Tourette’s syndrome.

Belinda Gidman-Rowse, a mental health practitioner and school counsellor in a primary school in Devon, sees around 50 children between the ages of eight and 11 each school term. She notes that a “significant proportion” are navigating either diagnosed or undiagnosed ADHD and/or autism.

Counselling Directory member and therapist Debbie Keenan is also supporting neurodivergent children while they await diagnosis – “this period is often filled with uncertainty, anxiety, and confusion,” she explains.

“Many children already experience challenges such as feeling different, struggling with emotions, or finding school and social situations overwhelming.”

NHS waiting times for diagnosis can vary massively – kids may have to wait months or even years for support from specialist services, forcing parents to find strategies to help their child cope in the meantime, or pay to go private.

In schools, special educational needs (SEN) support can be patchy and hard-won.

Therapists are noticing two key themes in particular when neurodivergent children need mental health support.

While there can be a range of specific issues brought to therapy by neurodivergent children, Counselling Directory member Belinda Gidman-Rowse, has noticed a recurring theme.

“With all the children I see, there is often a pervasive narrative of being either ‘too much’ or ‘not enough’ which really impacts their self-esteem and sense of belonging in the world,” she says, “which is really sad to see.”

Some children will come to her wanting to make sense of their diagnosis – what it means for them, how others see them, and how they fit in to their school and home life.

“There can be a real sensitivity to feeling ‘different’ along with fears of being judged, excluded, or labelled in ways that don’t feel kind or accurate,” she explains.

On top of this, children can get stuck in cycles where their distress is expressed through behaviour, which is then met with punishment or frustration from adults – it’s something Gidman-Rowse notes can deepen the underlying overwhelm rather than resolve it.

“Over time, if these experiences aren’t understood, they can affect self-esteem quite deeply and, in more serious cases, increase vulnerability to things like self-harm as a coping strategy for dealing with overwhelming feelings,” she adds.

Another major element of what brings these children to therapy is the day-to-day impact of being neurodivergent.

Gidman-Rowse says for children with ADHD, this might look like difficulties focusing in class, frustration with learning, or challenges managing big emotions – “particularly anger, which can be heightened when they feel misunderstood or frequently corrected”.

Children might have explosive anger outbursts which caregivers describe as “coming out of nowhere”, and “going from 0-60”, says the counsellor.

“This can be incredibly challenging for families and teachers alike, and for the child themselves, who often feels out of control, and then ashamed or confused afterwards – they are aware that it is damaging their relationships but they feel unable to manage it.”

For children with autism, themes in therapy often centre around friendships and social situations, as there can be challenges in reading social cues and difficulties communicating their feelings and needs to others.

The key advice seems to be: remain present, calm, caring and essentially become your child’s anchor to help them weather the various storms they may encounter.

Curiosity is key. “Approaching a child with curiosity rather than correction – for example, asking, ‘What’s feeling hard right now?’– can open up the conversation,” says Gidman-Rowse, while validating their emotions (for example, saying “that sounds really overwhelming!”) helps a child feel seen.

Gently helping them name what they’re feeling can also support regulation, says the counsellor, though some children might also need visual tools to do this (a feelings chart which you can print out and stick to your fridge might help).

If your child is awaiting a diagnosis, offering support and small changes at home can help steady them in the meantime. These include:

• Reducing demands on your child’s already stretched system by breaking tasks into smaller steps.
• Understanding triggers, such as sensory overload, changes in routine, or social demands, so you can anticipate them and reduce distress.
• Offering consistent, calm guidance in times of transition during the day.
• Giving them time and space to decompress after the school day to help reduce the intensity of meltdowns.
• Engaging in co-operative, two-way communication with your school teachers and SENCo.
• Seeking therapeutic support with a neurodiversity-affirming therapist.

Therapist Debbie Keenan says it’s “important to recognise and celebrate a child’s strengths while also acknowledging their challenges without judgement”.

For kids with ADHD, offering simple instructions followed by praise can help build “I can do it” feelings, instead of negative self-talk. Recognising your child’s efforts, even if things don’t go to plan, and prioritising one-to-one time together can also help boost self-esteem, according to Connect children’s services.

Social rejection, bullying and communication challenges are just some of the factors which can contribute towards low self-esteem in autistic kids, notes Autism Parenting Magazine.

As such, for parents, focusing on a child’s strengths, encouraging special interests, using positive reinforcement and providing opportunities for success can all help improve how they feel about themselves.