You’re no doubt familiar with the phrase: Defense never rusts.

So while the Jayson Tatum fan club uses his long absence as an excuse for the rim-chipping step-backs, the crowd-pleasing passes into the audience and the dribble out of bounds off his bloated ankle, there’ll be nothing but the naked truth about his defense within seconds of when he steps back onto the court.

Tatum is the most overhyped player in the history of the NBA. Don’t believe me? I have a stat to prove it.

Three NBA All-Stars suffered Achilles tears last year. All are plotting a comeback.

Since the injury, Tyrese Haliburton has gotten – by my unofficial count – 96 updates posted on social media.

Damian Lillard, who made himself available to the media masses at the All-Star Game and then, incredibly, went out and won the 3-Point Shootout, has warranted 126 updates.

Tatum has had 158 … yesterday alone. His total (this changes by the minute): 7,966.

And I’m not counting the five-part documentary on the incredible story of an athlete making a miraculous comeback from an Achilles injury. Apparently it’s never been done before.

As Tatum’s return to game action gets closer, the saga gets even more ridiculous.

You gotta know the NBA, which has driven the Tatum hype machine from Day 1, wants their Golden Boy to return next Tuesday against the Spurs. Why? Because it’s a nationally televised game on NBC, the league’s cash cow.

But Tatum went to Duke, remember? He’s not dumb enough to take that path.

He’d rather make a triumphant return in a game in which, well, a triumph is more likely … like Friday night against the hapless Mavericks. It’s his kind of stat-padding opponent.

Plus, it’s at home, which makes sense, and comes at the perfect time … Two days after the Celtics were drubbed by the Hornets, demonstrating – despite the shiny record – that the club desperately needs him back.

It would make the perfect theater. Likely accompanied by a green carpet.

That first dribble between the legs. Wow. Waited 10 months for this. Worth every minute.

That 11th dribble between the legs on the same possession. Incredible. He’s still got it.

That assist to Jaylen Brown. Classic teammate. Forget for a moment that Payton Pritchard has done this 70 times already this season.

And that 3-pointer. He’s back! It came on his fifth ill-advised 24-footer of the night, but the broadcasters have already cautioned seven times that he’s rusty.

We’ll give him that. But whenever he returns, a well-rested Tatum should be on top of his game defensively. He’s made this perfectly clear in the twice-a-day videos he’s directed.

And this is a potential problem.

You see, while Tatum has fooled people into thinking he’s more than an Olympic Team 12th man by putting up impressive numbers in points, rebounds and assists, you can do that by shooting a lot, standing next to the basket on defense and committing a lot of turnovers.

But there’s no defending his defense.

It’s remarkable how often Tatum is cited as an outstanding defender. Heck, over the course of his career, he’s gotten almost as many All-Defensive Team votes as Brown.

That speaks to the myth of Jayson Tatum as much as anything.

Watch Brown play defense. Complete lock-down guy at multiple positions. Look at what he did to Luka Doncic in the 2024 Finals.

The Celtics won that title on the defensive end of the court. Fortunately, seven of the 11 voters for Finals MVP saw that and went with Brown.

Tatum got the other four votes … surely not for shooting 26% on 3-pointers as he almost single-handedly kept the Mavericks in the series.

As the broadcasters reminded us multiple times: It was his blanket defense on Mavericks big men Daniel Gafford and Dereck Lively II that won the series for the Celtics, failing to note that two stiffs with a combined shooting range of 18 inches went 28-for-39 in the five games.

You want to learn a little something about Tatum that’s not covered in his documentary? Focus on his defense in his return.

First, note who he’s guarding. He routinely gets assigned to the other team’s weakest forward or center while Brown actually guards a guy with a heartbeat.

Is that what you do with an elite defender?

Because his guy is no threat, he gets an opportunity to hang around the hoop while Brown and his hard-working mates induce bad shot after bad shot. Tatum has 4,293 career rebounds; his cumulative jump for those boards has totaled 4,292 inches.

And then watch as an opponent attacks the rim. Ole’. After all, he can’t afford to get in foul trouble.

The master plan: This allows him to grab the ball out of the net and inbound it to someone sure to pass it back immediately, so Tatum can begin his dribbling act.

You can stop watching at that point. He will be, after all, rusty offensively.

But on defense, he won’t be rusty at all. Just – as usual – exposed.