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As a Friday the 13th Fan, Here’s How I’d Rank All the Movies

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Jason Voorhees in 1993's Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

In 1978, John Carpenter changed horror forever with his slasher movie Halloween. What followed was a wave of copycats, with the most popular by far being Friday the 13th. When Sean S. Cunningham and Victor Miller collaborated on that first film in 1980, its success led to a 12-film franchise which arguably became more popular than all of the Halloween sequels.

Thanks to a frustrating lawsuit, there hasn’t been a Friday the 13th movie since 2009. With an A24 and Peacock series, Crystal Lake, coming soon, here’s hoping that Friday the 13th Part 13 happens sooner rather than later. Until then, here’s how I, a lifelong fan of all things Jason Voorhees, rank one of horror’s most bizarre franchises.

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12

‘Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday’ (1993)

Jason Voorhees in 1993's Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
Jason Voorhees in 1993’s Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
Image via New Line Cinema

It was not the final Friday. In fact, this first sequel made by New Line Cinema instead of Paramount, doesn’t even feel like a Friday the 13th movie. Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday ignores the fact that Jason Voorhees was turned to goo at the end of Jason Takes Manhattan. He’s a bloated mess at the beginning of this one, only to be blown up by a SWAT team in the first act! How in the world can he possibly come back ? By revealing that he’s a demon worm that can live in other bodies, of course.

It’s understandable that New Line would want to do something different with a once hot IP. This ain’t it though. Friday the 13th works because it’s a simple slasher with a masked man hacking up teenagers at a lake. Jason Goes to Hell jumps head first into the supernatural, and with an absolutely awful score backing it up. Not even the shocking ending of Freddy’s glove pulling Jason’s mask into Hell can save it.

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11

‘Jason X’ (2002)

Kane Hodder as Uber Jason in Jason X.
Kane Hodder as Uber Jason in Jason X.
Image via New Line Cinema

With the slasher era dead, so was Friday the 13th. If there was a time for the hockey mask-wearing killer to return, it was during the Scream fad. Instead, New Line waited until 2002, and having not learned their lesson nine years previously, decided to full-on jump the shark and send its villain to outer space in Jason X. That might work for silly franchises like Critters and Leprechaun, but not Friday the 13th.

This would sadly be the last time Kane Hodder played Jason Voorhees. It’s a silly, over-the-top film, with Jason losing his hockey mask and becoming a rebuilt, futuristic Uber Jason, complete with silver mask. Is Jason X a good movie? Heck no. Still, it’s at least watchable because it accepts what it is and has fun with it. It’s a dumb sequel, no doubt, yet one you can enjoy if you’re in enough of an altered state.

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10

‘Freddy vs. Jason’ (2003)

freddy-vs-jason-robert-englund-ken-Kirzinger
Robert Englund as Freddy Krueger and Ken Kirzinger as Jason Voorhees in Freddy vs. Jason
Image Via New Line Cinema

For nearly two decades, horror fans were begging for the dream match of Jason Voorhees taking on Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund). It finally happened in 2003 with Freddy vs. Jason, 10 years after a lot of people stopped caring. Kane Hodder isn’t under the mask, but at least Jason looks scary as hell, albeit a little too big with Ken Kirzinger in the role. The plot could have gone off the rails. Thankfully, it doesn’t get too crazy, with the story revolving around Freddy invading Jason’s dreams and using him to kill the kids he can no longer reach.

Outside of a cameo in an episode for The Goldbergs, this is Englund’s final time donning Freddy’s razor-blade glove. He gives it all. If only the script did too. Freddy vs. Jason is more of an action movie than anything remotely scary. There is no reason at all to care about the human protagonists, who are underwritten fodder in the way of what everyone wants to see. It’s not horrendous, but a scene of Jason shown being scared of water makes no sense at all given how often he’s been in Crystal Lake.

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9

‘Friday the 13th: A New Beginning’ (1985)

"Jason Voorhees" (actually Roy) in Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)
“Jason Voorhees” (actually Roy) in Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)
Image via Paramount Pictures

For many, Friday the 13th: A New Beginning is the most hated sequel. Jason Voorhees is dead (no, for real), so the choice was made to have a copycat killer take up his mask. This time, the action moves away from Camp Crystal Lake and plants itself at a halfway house for troubled teens where poor Tommy Jarvis (John Shepherd) is traumatized by the events of the last movie. Now he’ll have to face down the new murderer, unless it’s Tommy who’s the killer, that is.

If you can get past the fact that the killer in the hockey mask isn’t Jason, this isn’t all that bad of a sequel. It’s a run-of-the-mill slasher with some cool kills and creepy atmosphere. The nudity is a little too gratuitous, and final girl Pam Roberts (Melanie Kinnaman) adds nothing, making her the worst of the franchise. Fun fact: a dream sequence with Jason means that actor Tom Morga is the only actor to play Voorhees, Michael Myers, and Leatherface on screen.

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8

‘Friday the 13th’ (2009)

Jason Voorhees with a chain wrapped around his neck in 'Friday the 13th' (2009)
Jason Voorhees with a chain wrapped around his neck in ‘Friday the 13th’ (2009)
Image via New Line Cinema

The last of the bunch, but fingers crossed it doesn’t stay that way. In the 2000s, horror classic reboots were all the rage. It worked for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Halloween, so why not Jason too? Friday the 13th (directed by The Texas Chainsaw Massacre‘s Marcus Nipsel) works by not being a reboot per se. After a fun opening act that shows the death of Mrs. Voorhees and Jason wearing a sack on his head, the hockey mask appears, and it’s Jason on a rampage against a new group of young’uns who dare invade his space.

Friday the 13th is a fun time. The issue is that it doesn’t feel much like a Friday the 13th movie. Derek Mears is much too tall and muscular, as if the idea is that Jason is scarier the taller he is. That’s not the case. He also doesn’t feel like Jason because the plot has him abducting a girl and keeping him in an underground prison because she reminds him of mommy. That’s not something he’d do. Still, the movie looks good, and has plenty of clever kill scenes, and the final boy and final girl combo of Clay (Jared Padalecki) and Jenna (Danielle Panabaker) are better than most in the franchise.

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7

‘Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan’ (1989)

Jason stands in a dark Manhattan harbour at night in Jason Takes Manhattan
Jason stands in a dark Manhattan harbour at night in Jason Takes Manhattan
Image via Paramount Pictures

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan is the last of the Paramount movies and is the sequel where most fans saw the franchise really losing its way. The plot revolves around Jason saying goodbye to Crystal Lake as he becomes a stowaway on a ship headed to New York City. Along the way, he hacks up the passengers, before a showdown occurs in the sewers of Manhattan.

Kane Hodder is awesome as always as Jason. The idea itself isn’t all that bad if you let yourself forget that Crystal Lake is land-locked, so there’s no way this boat could sail the Atlantic Ocean! It’s the execution that’s so frustrating. Jason barely takes Manhattan. The Big Apple doesn’t show up until the third act, with Vancouver as a stand-in except of a scene filmed in Times Square. And what’s with those images of Jason as a boy at the end? It’s still fun, but the wheels are coming off.

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6

‘Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood’ (1988)

Jason Voorhees swings an axe downward in 'Friday the 13th: The New Blood'
Jason Voorhees swings an axe downward in ‘Friday the 13th: The New Blood’
Image via Paramount

What if Jason Voorhees fought Carrie? That’s the premise of Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood. When the telekinetic Tina (the late Lar Park Lincoln) accidentally brings Jason up from his watery grave, it’s superpowers versus a zombie in a battle that’s much more engaging than Freddy vs. Jason.

It’s a hokey plot, yet it succeeds because of how likable Tina is, combined with Kane Hodder’s first creepy performance as a rotting Jason. The New Blood could have been better if most of its gore hadn’t been censored. Despite that, this is the last sequel that feels like a real Friday the 13th movie with Crystal Lake as the setting and plenty of horny teenagers to slice and dice.

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5

‘Friday the 13th’ (1980)

Pamela Voorhees (Betsy Palmer) in 'Friday the 13th'
Pamela Voorhees (Betsy Palmer) in ‘Friday the 13th’
Image via Paramount Pictures

The one that started it all. If you’re waiting for Jason Voorhees, you’ll be disappointed. The initial film never shows the killer’s face until the third act, instead treating the story as a murder mystery, where unsuspecting camp counselors are being knocked off one by one for an unknown reason.

Harry Manfredini’s chilling and iconic score helps put this one high on the list. It’s a pretty routine slasher, with mostly forgettable performances, albeit one comes from a very young Kevin Bacon! A slasher with the reveal of an older woman being the killer could have been a disaster. It’s not, due to the crazed performance of Betsy Palmer as Pamela Voorhees. And a chef’s kiss to one of horror’s best jump scares at the end.

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4

‘Friday the 13th Part 3’ (1982)

Jason Voorhees (Richard Brooker) with an axe in his mask in 'Friday the 13th Part III'
Jason Voorhees (Richard Brooker) with an axe in his head in ‘Friday the 13th Part III’
Image via Paramount Pictures

Friday the 13th Part 3 is most notable for being the one where Jason gets his mask for the first time. Before that, he’s seen in the shadows or from the neck down. When he walks out onto the dock donning the hockey mask though, an icon was born. The plot itself is bare bones. There are counselors at a camp. Jason shows up. A final girl takes him down. The end. But it takes what fans expect and does it well.

This one is admittedly a little bit silly because it was initially made for 3D. Instead of cool 3D kills, however, it’s shot after shot of in-your-face laundry poles and yo-yos. Whoa! How scary! What is scary is Richard Brooker as a lumbering Jason and a pulse-pounding third act that doesn’t let up.

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3

‘Friday the 13th Part II’ (1981)

Jason Voorhees raises a knife in 'Friday the 13th Part 2'
Jason Voorhees raises a knife in ‘Friday the 13th Part 2’
Image via Paramount Pictures

In Friday the 13th Part II, Jason is the star for the first time. There’s no hockey mask yet. Instead, he’s a hillbilly in coveralls with a sack over his head, making him look more like the killer from The Town That Dreaded Sundown than anything else. The opening scene is a shocker, as Jason dispatches of the first movie’s final girl, Alice (Adrienne King), before going back to get his revenge on a new group of killable teens.

Steve Miner, who later directed Halloween H20, helms this one. He keeps the action moving, and Manfredini’s anxiety-inducing score is a character unto itself. The first sequel also has the best final girl. Rather than being another dull trope, Amy Steel’s Ginny Field is studying to be a child psychologist. Initially, she feels sorry for Jason. Soon enough, she’ll fear him. We gotta take points away for her attack game though. Why would you think you killed Jason with a machete blow to the shoulder and walk away?!

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Kendra Duggar tells Joseph she no longer has their kids in multiple phone calls to jail

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Kendra previously told Joseph on March 20 that she and the children were somewhere “very private.”

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The Extremely Graphic, R-Rated Sci-Fi That The 1990s Forgot

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The Extremely Graphic, R-Rated Sci-Fi That The 1990s Forgot

By Robert Scucci
| Updated

If you have memories of watching 1992’s Fortress, can’t remember the name, and try describing it to your friends, they’ll probably assume you imagined the whole thing during a fever dream while home sick from school on a random Tuesday. Fortunately, you’re not insane, and what you’re remembering is a real B-movie blockbuster starring Christopher Lambert, Loryn Locklin, Kurtwood Smith, and a whole slew of colorful inmates that look and act the part. It’s a gritty cyberpunk prison break, chock-full of explosions, government surveillance drones, intense staredowns, and intestinators. More on those later. 

Fortress was a financial success, earning $65 million against its reported $15 million production budget. It was enough to spawn an equally ill-fated sequel in 2000, but that’s chump change compared to The Fugitive, which pulled in nearly six times the box office during the same month. Financials aside, Fortress wasn’t exactly a critical darling upon release, and still sits in the trenches with a punishing 38 percent on Rotten Tomatoes.

While Fortress is very much a real movie that exists and is readily available for streaming, its reputation may deter you from hitting play, which is a shame. It’s one of the strangest movies of the 90s to try and capture a mainstream audience, and for that reason alone makes it worth your time.

A Retro-Futuristic Jailbreak Plot

Set in the year 2017, Fortress introduces us to our hero, John Henry Brennick (Christopher Lambert), and his wife, Karen (Loryn Locklin). While attempting to cross the US border into Canada, the couple is apprehended when it’s revealed that Karen is pregnant, something that’s strictly forbidden in this dystopian hellscape. Under no circumstances is a couple allowed to have a second baby, even if their first one dies, which is exactly the situation John and Karen find themselves in. They’re not technically contributing to the overpopulation problem when you look at the numbers, but the law is the law, and they’re living in a tyrannical police state that doesn’t mess around.

Fortress 1992

In the future, according to 1992 logic, prisons are run by the Men-Tel corporation, and inmates are subjected to slave labor to keep the prison-industrial complex alive and well. John is thrown into one such facility, known as the Fortress, where he’s introduced to a ragtag group of inmates, including by-the-books longtimer Abraham (Lincoln Kilpatrick), disgraced technical wizard D-Day, young cutup Nino Gomez (Clifton Collins Jr.), resident bully Maddox (Vernon Wells), and his mean-mugging right-hand man Stiggs (Tom Towles).

Each inmate in the Fortress is fitted with a stomach-annihilating implant known as an intestinator, which will blow out their insides if they step out of line. Literally. Controlling the entire operation behind closed doors is Poe, the forever scowling and morally bankrupt prison director portrayed by Kurtwood Smith.

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Fortress 1992

Unbeknownst to John, though he won’t stay in the dark for long, Poe also has Karen in custody in another section of the prison, with plans to incinerate her unborn child once it’s brought to term. He’d terminate the pregnancy sooner, but in this future abortion is illegal, and child murder is the workaround. Determined to reunite with his wife and become a father again, John Henry Brennick rounds up the troops and starts plotting his escape, despite pushback from Abraham, who is a little close to parole for comfort.

There are brawls, mind-wiping gyrospheres, laser cages, and moving platforms in the Fortress, all monitored and controlled through the Zed-10 computer system. Poe, who has disturbing intentions toward Karen, stands as the immovable link between salvation and certain death, and John Henry Brennick is up for the challenge, consequences be damned.

Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die

Fortress always felt destined to be a forgotten relic, but it might have had a different fate with more star power attached. The script was reportedly written with a more traditionally jacked action star in mind, like Arnold Schwarzenegger, but director Stuart Gordon wanted an everyman, which brought Christopher Lambert into the equation. And when it comes to a singular lead role, there can be only one!

While a megastar like Schwarzenegger might have put more asses in seats, it’s hard to imagine Fortress with anyone else leading the charge. Lambert’s intense gaze doesn’t just look into your soul, it looks through it. For what is essentially a B-movie with a disproportionately large budget, it feels right just the way it is. 

Fortress 1992

Fortress is dystopian, campy, and incredibly violent, striking a strange balance between too weird for mainstream audiences and not weird enough to fully cement itself as a cult classic. It also embodies all of the tried-and-true action tropes that critics had by 1992 grown tired of, becoming just one of hundreds of action thrillers making their rounds, all trying to do the same thing. 

Still, it deserves a second look because its ambition outweighs its reputation, and it’s a solid popcorn flick whether you remember it or not. As of this writing, Fortress is streaming for free on Tubi.


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The Buffy Episode That Secretly Embraced Trashy Romance Novels

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buffy cordelia

By Chris Snellgrove
| Published

buffy cordelia

Like all good Millennial nerds, I rewatch Buffy the Vampire Slayer often enough that every single silly catchphrase and witty bon mot lives rent-free in my head. It’s more than just nostalgia that fuels my late-night binge sessions, though. Buffy is just one of those shows that is worth constantly returning to because there is always something new to discover. For example, when I rewatched the solid Season 3 episode “Beauty and the Beasts,” I realized that it has a core message that is effectively contradicted by the rest of the show.

This episode features a character who, Dr. Jekyll-style, takes a potion to become the kind of man his girlfriend wants him to be. Sadly, he turns into an abusive boyfriend and, inevitably, into an actual monster that is eventually put down by Angel. “Beauty and the Beasts” puts a supernatural spin on a tale about the dangers of domestic abuse. However, the messaging is somewhat contradicted by Buffy herself always falling for murderous bad boys. That message is even further contradicted by the Buffy the Vampire Slayer fandom, many of whom grew up to be avid fans of smutty novels romanticizing the kinds of toxic men they’d hate in real life.

Of Monsters And Men

“Beauty and the Beasts” isn’t a very subtle Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode. It mostly uses The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde as inspiration to tell a story about domestic abuse. Along the way, it fairly explicitly tackles the role that toxic masculinity plays in such abuse. Our villain, Pete, is someone who begins making and taking weird potions to, as he tells girlfriend Debbie, “be the man you wanted.” He prioritizes becoming a stronger man rather than a stronger boyfriend, becoming a violent, controlling jerk who ultimately murders the woman he supposedly loves.  

In “Beauty and the Beasts,” Pete is contrasted by other men who present a more healthy masculinity, including Oz, who, when not in werewolf form, is the gentlest of the Scoobies. Giles is, of course, the natty embodiment of everything prim and proper. Xander, meanwhile, is our adorably schmucky beta who’s always there with a quick quip or word of encouragement. Even temporary Buffy boyfriend Scott is (before he is later retconned as a jerk) presented as a very healthy masculine alternative to Pete’s rageholic ways.

Bad Boys Do It Better

As a self-contained episode, “Beauty and the Beasts” works well, contrasting toxic masculinity with positive masculinity and showing why the latter is always better. When you look at the entire show, however, Buffy seems to be the one character who never understands this important lesson. After all, the first great love of her life is Angel, the vampire with a soul who wants to atone for past misdeeds. Their doomed romance may seem cute, but make no mistake. Buffy falls in love with a mass murderer hundreds of years older than herself, one who turns into one of the most dangerous people on the planet when his soul is removed.

If Buffy’s relationship with Angel was bad, her relationship with Spike was even worse. While he was mentally neutered by a government chip, he was still very much a soulless demon when Buffy began having sex with him. The fact that Spike had killed two Slayers and countless other people didn’t deter Buffy. In fact, they went on to have sex so intense it literally tore a house down. Later, the show emphasized Spike’s demonic nature by having him try to assault Buffy. Despite this, she later forgives him and even confesses her love to him before he died (don’t worry, he got better). 

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Buffy’s Outsize Influence On Modern Smut

Buffy, as a show, constantly transmits the message that toxic masculinity is bad and that it should be rejected in all of its forms. But Buffy as a character sends a very different message: that sex with bad boys is really, really hot, and relationships with such men are infinitely more fulfilling than relationships with safer suitors like Riley. Granted, Riley had the personality of wet cardboard, but he still symbolized the kind of average Joe that our Slayer consistently rejects in favor of someone more dangerous.

While Buffy the Vampire Slayer obviously didn’t invent the “bad boys are hot” trope, it arguably popularized it for multiple generations of fans. Those fans would grow up to become the core demographic for romantic novels, especially those which are affectionately labeled “smut.” While there are many different flavors of smutty novels, some of the most popular ones feature Buffy’s favorite kind of guy: dark, brooding, and oh so dangerous. Fifty Shades of Grey (a foundational text to modern smut), for example, features a rich man who is heavily into BDSM. In this way, he’s the archetypal bad boy protagonist; someone with desires so dangerous that they make him that much more attractive.

Devil of Dublin, meanwhile, features a mafioso whose willingness to hurt and kill on behalf of the female main character is presented as an unabashed plus. Lights Out is a novel where the male main character wins over his lady love by killing the man who assaults her and then covering up his death. While that novel’s motto is “the couple who slays together, stays together,” Butcher & Blackbird takes that idea to the next level by featuring male and female serial killers who bond over their desire to (Dexter style) kill bad people.

The Naked Truth

Now, I’m not here to kinkshame these books or anyone who enjoys their bondage-filled exploits. Everyone’s freak flag should be flown as loudly and proudly as they want to fly it. But it is notable that the romantic book genre is filled with the kinds of men that the vast majority of women would reject in real life. Nobody really wants to date a violent, murderous thug. But it’s fun to fantasize about, especially in between watching the kind of masked man thirst traps the Lights Out male main character specializes in. 

Those fantasies might not be nearly so much fun to these readers, however, if they hadn’t grown up watching Buffy have amazing sex with a pair of sexy, brooding mass murderers. Buffy the Vampire Slayer effectively contradicts the message of “Beauty and the Beasts” by constantly showcasing how fun it is to fool around with dangerous men who are bad for her. In this way, Buffy accidentally proves that episode’s villain right. Nobody wants someone who will hurt or kill them, of course, but countless people (in the show and in the world) really do want bad boys with a monster hidden inside them. 

If men could take a potion to become that archetypal bad boy that women want, most would do so in a heartbeat. In that way, “Beauty and the Beasts” takes on a kind of retrospective importance, underscoring the divide (often a large one) between our public desires and our private fantasies. It’s a tale that underscores the hubris of Dr. Jekyll while also making his downfall that much more sympathetic.

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J. Smith-Cameron Used Anna Wintour as Elsbeth Inspiration

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J. Smith-Cameron‘s killer character on Elsbeth might look a little familiar — at least to viewers who are fans of former Vogue editor in chief Anna Wintour.

“It was my idea,” Smith-Cameron exclusively told Us Weekly. “I was like, ‘What if I’m not trying to be Anna Wintour but this woman is trying to be like Anna Wintour?’ That’s her hero and she’s going to try to emulate her.”

Smith-Cameron broke down the vision for the character, adding, “She is hiding behind a mask. I thought that might be fun. I just went online and bought an inexpensive wig that was pageboy bob–style, and it looked OK in my head. So I used that. And I didn’t try to be English exactly. I wanted to sound like someone who’s trying to sound a bit English.”

Before using Wintour as inspiration, Smith-Cameron had a real-life run-in with the fashion icon.

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Sam Smith Cameo on And Just Like That


Related: Most Surprising TV Show Cameos Ever: Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift and More

While many TV shows have made household names out of their star players, occasionally showrunners have been able to corral some of Hollywood’s biggest names to drop in for a surprising cameo during a complete episode or a single scene. Perhaps one of the most polarizing cameos belonged to Ed Sheeran on HBO’s Game of […]

“I met Anna Wintour once as I went to a fashion show, and she ended up being seated right next to me. She had her sunglasses on, and her reputation precedes her,” she recalled. “But she was very personable. She was lovely. This isn’t my impression of her. It is just someone who’s obsessed with her, which I could relate to. Everyone I know is somewhat fascinated by Anna Wintour because she’s a very, very fascinating person.”

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Elsbeth, which premiered in 2024, follows Carrie Preston‘s Elsbeth Tascioni, who becomes a de facto detective aiding the NYPD in their investigations. The titular character’s unconventional methods lead her to make unique observations that help solve crimes.

In addition to Preston, the show stars Wendell Pierce and has allowed for cameo appearances from Nathan Lane, Laurie Metcalf, Pamela Adlon, Vanessa Williams, Matthew Broderick, Michael Emerson, Keegan-Michael Key, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Retta, Blair Underwood, Linda Lavin and more.

In the Thursday, April 3, episode of the hit CBS series, Smith-Cameron is introduced as a case follows a powerful patriarch who “is stabbed with a sword at New York’s most exclusive debutante ball,” according to the synopsis. The description teases how Elsbeth “must engage in hand-in-glove combat with the imperious ball director (Smith-Cameron).”

“This is the kind of show where you do get some backstory. It’s a funny show because it’s a murder mystery show in a way. But it’s a fun and lighthearted take on it,” she continued. “I just had fun with that. The characters on Elsbeth are going through very extreme times. You can relate to them and the way it’s written and handled.”

Elsbeth airs on CBS Thursdays at 10 p.m. ET. New episodes stream the next day on Paramount+.

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The Raunchy 80s Rom Com That’s Extreme Lust Gone Wrong

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Nice Girls Don't Explode 1987

By Robert Scucci
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Nice Girls Don't Explode 1987

Overprotective parents are tough nuts to crack. On one hand, can you really blame a mom or dad for trying to shelter their children from the horrors of the world, no matter how misguided their attempts may be? On the other hand, sometimes you’ve just got to push the baby bird out of the nest and see if they can fly on their own. In more extreme cases, you might have to fool your daughter into thinking that whenever she’s aroused, she’ll burst into flames, like in 1987’s Nice Girls Don’t Explode.

Nice Girls Don’t Explode is a rom-com that hinges on this single joke, and then runs it into the ground. It’s one of those fascinating situations where the joke wears out its welcome in the first act, you check the seeker bar in the second act to see how much more you have to endure, and then somehow it brings things back around by the third. It’s like when you say a single word over and over again until it loses all meaning, but only before the exercise makes you realize everything is meaningless, and you and the word become one in an almost zen-like state. 

At least that’s what I felt at my core while watching Nice Girls Don’t Explode.

Don’t Forget Your Fire Extinguisher! 

Nice Girls Don't Explode 1987

Every source I can find clocks Nice Girls Don’t Explode at 92 minutes, but the version streaming on Tubi runs only 82. This could mean one of two things: the sources are wrong, or there’s a longer cut floating around somewhere. I’m hoping it’s the former, because since the entire movie is built around one joke repeating itself ad nauseam, any extended version would likely be more of the same. Worse, if that footage was cut for pacing, it probably wasn’t doing the movie any favors.

Speaking of the joke, here’s what it is. April Flowers (Michelle Meyrink) has a rare disorder where her surroundings burst into flames whenever she’s sexually aroused. Or so she thinks. In reality, her overprotective mother (Barbara Harris) rigs plastic explosives and detonates them remotely to scare off potential suitors. She follows April on dates and gets trigger-happy with her detonator, sending her daughter home dejected after every disaster.

Nice Girls Don't Explode 1987

When her old neighbor and romantic interest Andy (William O’Leary) returns to town before securing his ping pong scholarship in China, the two hit it off. It doesn’t take long for Mother to fall back into her old habits. She continues to gaslight April with staged explosions, even going as far as lighting the cat on fire, but Andy starts to catch on when he realizes these incidents never happen when Mom isn’t around.

The rest of the movie follows that same pattern. Andy gets closer to exposing Mother, she retaliates, and he ends up humiliated in the process. He’s caught with his pants down more than once, but it’s never what it looks like. Andy is just clumsy, and April’s manipulative mother uses that to her advantage. Determined to live life on their own terms, April and Andy decide to do the unthinkable by having sex to prove Mother wrong, assuming she doesn’t sabotage them first.

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A One-Note Joke Done To Death

Nice Girls Don't Explode 1987

Nice Girls Don’t Explode is more fun than I’d care to admit, but I’d be lying if I said it was a good movie. Barbara Harris, Michelle Meyrink, and William O’Leary clearly understood the assignment, and their chemistry carries the film even when it’s just beating a dead horse. It’s a mindless, low-stakes romp that never really crosses the line into being offensive, but it is surprisingly risqué for something rated PG.

It’s not going to change your life, and some of the gags, like the first-act restaurant scene, actually land. This isn’t an intelligent movie. There’s no subtext or ambiguity hiding beneath the surface. And sometimes that’s exactly what you need after burning through your mental energy all day. 

Most importantly, Nice Girls Don’t Explode is streaming for free on Tubi, so it won’t cost you anything but your time.


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Vince Vaughn’s Ambitious Performance in This 90% RT Prison Thriller Made Him an Unlikely Action Star

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This past weekend brought the release of Hulu’s surprisingly entertaining Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice. While the movie is full of fun and quirky bits — ranging from a lively opening title sequence that’s headed by Ben Schwartz to an enthralling discussion about Gilmore Girls — its biggest perk has got to be Vince Vaughn‘s double-lead action performance, which crescendos with a satisfying climactic action set piece.

What’s more surprising than seeing him mow down a house full of faceless henchmen like he’s the protagonist of a Derek Kolstad-scripted action movie is how naturally he slides into the role. While this may be a shock to those who know Vaughn primarily for his comedic roles, it won’t be a complete surprise to those who have seen his collaborations with writer/director S. Craig Zahler. Specifically, his performance in Brawl in Cell Block 99, which demonstrated Vaughn’s ability to play against type from his usual comedic fare and his capacity to dominate the screen when the role requires him to throw down in an action scene.

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Zahler’s Descension From Crime Film to Exploitation

Brawl in Cell Block 99 follows a drug mule named Bradley Thomas (Vaughn) who gets busted on a job and is sent to prison. While there, he’s informed that his pregnant wife (Jennifer Carpenter) has been abducted by the associates of a drug kingpin (Dion Mucciacito) that he failed during the drug bust. His only course of action is to act as a hit man and find and kill a fellow inmate in order to free his wife.

Structurally, Brawl in Cell Block 99 works much in the same way as did Zahler’s debut film, Bone Tomahawk, which is a classy western that devolves into a horrific cannibal horror film in its third act. Similarly, Cell Block 99 evolves from a straight-ahead crime drama to a seedy prison exploitation film, with Vaughn leading the charge. Aside from being unrecognizable with his shaved head and Southern drawl, the actor also has to capably portray a tough-as-nails, hardened badass, which he does remarkably well. This is thanks primarily to the execution of a decent number of choreographed fight scenes.

Vaughn has a background in wrestling, boxing, and jiu-jitsu, and he allegedly undertook three months of training and gained 15 pounds of muscle before filming to get into the physicality required for the role. You can see his training on the screen because, while this isn’t an “action” movie per se, it does require him to perform multiple, long-take, highly-choreographed fight scenes, often against multiple opponents at once.

Since it’s an S. Craig Zahler film, several of these are done in flat master shots, which you would think would make the action bland and dull-looking but actually give the fight scenes a clear sense of geography. You can always tell where everyone is in relation to one another, and it makes the hits more blunt and the takedowns more satisfying. The violence manages to feel authentic in its brutality, while still maintaining a sense of heightened realism in how Vaughn is portrayed like an unstoppable force rather than an ordinary man. Even in the film’s non-fight scenes, Vaughn is shot to look big and imposing, not to mention the fact that he takes a shot to the back with a barbell and barely flinches. If you liked the street fights in Blood & Bone or the long-take fight scene in Spike Lee‘s remake of Oldboy, the battles in Brawl in Cell Block 99 will be right up your alley.

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‘Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice’ Review: Gangsters + Time Travel + Vince Vaughn x 2 = a Great Comedic Thriller

BenDavid Grabinski’s wild adventure is overloaded with pop culture references, genre explorations, and fun characters.

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Vaughn’s Comedic Capabilities in a Non-Comedic Role

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Despite not playing a comedic character in the film, it’s worth noting that Vaughn still manages to give a very funny performance. Bizarrely, this may be one of his funnier performances, since his dry delivery paired with Zahler’s trademark snarky dialogue merge remarkably well. It’s not quippy in a way that deflates the tension or drama of a scene. If anything, it’s more like the character is mainly out to amuse himself.

The best example of this is the interrogation scene that leads to his incarceration. What could’ve been a throwaway scene before he gets sentenced to prison ends up being a good showcase for his sense of loyalty to those whom he’s close to, which obviously will become relevant later. In this case, he refuses to give up the name of his boss (who’s also his friend) and still manages to show insubordination by having fun with his interrogator, since he knows there’s no way out of his predicament. His verbal sparring with the detective to blatantly avoid naming names is one of the highlights of the film, showing off both the quality of the dialogue and Vaughn’s comedic timing.

Brawl in Cell Block 99, which is currently streaming on Tubi and Hulu, is an epic demonstration of Vaughn’s range as an actor and his physical capabilities as a stunt performer. So, if you’ve watched Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice and want to see more of Vince Vaughn killing guys in equally ludicrous (albeit stylistically different) ways, Zahler’s prison thriller is just a click away.

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Release Date

September 23, 2017

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Runtime

132 Minutes

Director
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S. Craig Zahler

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‘The Boys’ Returns in Less Than a Week With Explosive New Episodes

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It’s been a long wait since The Boys left viewers with the world in total chaos, but the end is finally in sight. Prime Video’s most brutal and wildly unpredictable series is about to return for its fifth and final season, and the setup sounds exactly as ugly as fans would want. Homelander’s got more power than ever, the country’s tipping further into nightmare territory, and Butcher is still out there ready to make everything even worse. In other words, this show isn’t easing into the finish line.

The Boys returns to Prime Video on April 8, 2026, which means the final season premieres in less than one week. Prime Video has confirmed that the season will launch with two episodes, followed by one new episode each week, with the series finale set for May 20, 2026. Amazon’s official synopsis for Season 5 makes it clear that things are in terrible shape heading into the final run.

“In the fifth and final season of The Boys, it’s Homelander’s world, completely subjected to his erratic, egomaniacal whims. Hughie, Mother’s Milk, and Frenchie are imprisoned in a ‘Freedom Camp.’ Annie struggles to mount a resistance against the overwhelming Supe force. Kimiko is nowhere to be found. But when Butcher reappears, ready and willing to use a virus that will wipe all Supes off the map, he sets in motion a chain of events that will forever change the world and everyone in it.”

That sounds pretty fitting for a show that was always heading toward total collapse. Creator Eric Kripke recently confirmed that Season 5 is fully finished and described the series as “the best professional experience of my life,” making it clear this really is the end of the road for the main show. At the same time, cast members have also been preparing fans for a rough ending, with Jack Quaid warning that this won’t be “a fairytale ending in any regard.”

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Can You Hold Your Own on the B-Ball Court? It’s Today’s Collider TV Quiz!

It’s the last day of March, and the Madness is almost behind us. Huddle up and see what you know about these depictions of basketball on television.

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Who Stars in ‘The Boys’?

The full main cast of The Boys includes Karl Urban as Billy Butcher, Jack Quaid as Hughie Campbell, Antony Starr​​​​​​​ as Homelander, Erin Moriarty as Starlight/Annie January, Laz Alonso as Mother’s Milk, Tomer Capone as Frenchie, Karen Fukuhara as Kimiko, Chace Crawford as The Deep, Jessie T. Usher as A-Train, Colby Minifie as Ashley Barrett, and Jensen Ackles as Soldier Boy.

The Boys returns to Prime Video on April 8, 2026.


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Release Date

2019 – 2026-00-00

Showrunner
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Eric Kripke

Writers

Eric Kripke

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Franchise(s)

The Boys

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Mimi Faust Sets Beauty Boundaries As Eva Pushes For Lashes

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Rihanna Seemingly Addresses Baby Rumors, Talks "Little Pouch"

Things got real in Mimi Faust and her daughter Eva Giselle Jordan’s latest Instagram clip—well, “real” in that classic mother-daughter debate kind of way. At first glance, it seemed like a simple beauty chat, but fans quickly realized this conversation was about way more than just lashes. Mimi and Eva went back and forth, with playful digs, gentle warnings, and that signature “Mimi energy” we all know.

RELATED: Social Media Is Sharing Mixed Opinions After Eva Showed Off The Dress Mimi Faust Made Her Wear To Her 8th-Grade Dance

Mimi Sets Boundaries, Eva Pushes Back

In the clip shared to Mimi’s Instagram page on Tuesday, Eva’s makeup session was underway when the person filming—possibly Mimi’s makeup artist—mentioned putting “clusters” on her eyes. Eva immediately chimed in, saying her mom still treats her like she’s 10. Not missing a beat, Mimi popped into frame, shouting, “CLUSTERS!” Eva argued that everyone her age was wearing them, even younger girls, but Mimi quickly asked her age. When Eva said “16,” Mimi reminded her that in two more years, she can do whatever she wants. The conversation took a more serious turn when Eva mentioned that Mimi had never visited her school, to which Mimi responded that she had. Faust added a motherly warning that she doesn’t want her daughter to become a “thotbot.”

Comment Section Buzzes Over Lash Showdown

Fans didn’t waste a second before flooding Mimi’s Instagram comment section with their two cents. Some agreed with Mimi, saying she’s right to set boundaries, while others argued Eva should at least be allowed a little mascara. Of course, plenty of folks weighed in on the age-old debate, noting that so many teens look way older than they are and should enjoy looking like a kid for as long as possible.

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One Instagram user @evamarcille said, “I am Mimi Fouse as a mom all day every day.

This Instagram user @jyh_gotemboppin added, “She is so beautiful 😍😍she don’t need them – get some mascara

And, Instagram user @kutsbykoko commented, “Be a little girl as long as you can because when you’re grown it’s no going back

Meanwhile, Instagram user @im_khynah_hoe shared, “And said that wit a straight face with lashes on your face.

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While Instagram user @briandbeautiful said, “Oh I’m on Mimi side! Sorry Eva! 😩🤣”

Lastly, Instagram user @thickeryeleanor wrote, “OMG look at herrrrr! Nugget is a whole diamond now Chile😍”

Mimi And Eva Clash Over School Dance Outfit

But the lashes debate wasn’t the only topic Mimi Faust and Eva Giselle Jordan were seemingly navigating that week. A few weeks ago, Mimi had shared a clip with her followers, showing her daughter Eva and friend Ty reflecting on a past school event—a sneaker ball she attended in eighth grade. As Eva revealed that her mom still treated her like a kid, the trio got into a lively discussion about what she had worn, with Mimi defending the outfit as “cute,” while Eva and Ty pushed back, debating whether it was age-appropriate. The conversation ultimately circled back to Mimi’s concerns about her daughter not wanting to look like a “thot,” highlighting that even beyond lashes, mother-daughter boundaries were still very much in play.

RELATED: Mommy & Me! 5 Sweet Mimi Faust And Eva Giselle Moments We Can’t Stop Watching (VIDEOS)

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Brittney Taylor Goes Off After Bianca Bonnie’s Latest Performance

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Return Of The Beef! Brittney Taylor Calls Out Bianca Bonnie After She Performs Her Record On The ‘Boys 4 Life’ Tour (VIDEOS)

Looks like Brittney Taylor and Bianca Bonnie, also known as “Young B,” are at odds yet again. The tension stems from their longtime beef, dating back to the early 2000s, when they released iconic New York dance records. The two even clashed over the same issues during their time on’Love & Hip Hop’ in 2017. Now, Brittney is back and says she’s tired of biting her tongue.

RELATED: Pretty Ricky’s Baby Blue Flexes Weight Loss Amid Reactions To His Appearance At ‘Boys 4 Life’ Tour (VIDEOS)

Brittney Taylor Expresses Her Frustration Following Bianca Bonnie’s Latest Performance

Following the ‘Boys 4 Life’ tour stop in Brooklyn, New York, Brittney Taylor was upset after seeing Bianca Bonnie take the stage. During her performance, Bianca performed her 2005 hit ‘Chicken Noodle Soup’ with DJ Webstar and also danced to ‘5000’ by DJ Webstar, Brittney Taylor, and the Swag Kids. Brittney was also in attendance.

In a post, Brittney expressed frustration that Bianca has been performing her record for years without credit and said she’s no longer staying quiet. She also shared that she tried to tell her side on ‘Love & Hip Hop,’ but felt like she was painted as the one copying Bianca. Brittney added that despite everything, Bianca is still performing her record. She said the situation has been traumatizing and now feels like Bianca is taunting her.

She wrote,ENOUGH IS ENOUGH For YEARS I watched this girl do a whole WORLD tour performing MY song (& Swag Kids)… and I stayed quiet.NOT ANYMORE.

Do you know what it feels like to be backstage at a Bow Wow concert… hearing YOUR voice… but YOU’RE not the one on stage?

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I put in blood, sweat, talent, and tears for YEARS… just to watch someone who doesn’t even like me perform MY work across multiple platforms and stayed quiet.

She performed this at Cardi B’s daughter’s party, Kai Cenat’s stream, and more… while claiming something she didn’t write, produce, or record.

I even tried to tell my story on Love & Hip Hop… and somehow got painted out to be the one who copied her and tried to be like her.

Meanwhile… she’s still performing MY record.

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I’m a mother of two. I do this on my own. And this situation is honestly traumatizing.

And now it feels like she’s taunting me… intentionally performing something that isn’t hers.

I can’t stay quiet anymore.

I need EVERYONE to tag, share, and apply pressure.

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Spam her comments and demand she STOP performing MY song and perform HER song “Chicken Noodle Soup.”

S/o to @knockaynto for helping bring light to this situation and everyone who’s been supporting. Because Enough is enough.

Love y’all

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE”

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Bianca Bonnie Seemingly Responds With A Message 

While Brittney took shots, Bianca Bonnie was over on her Instagram sharing a message. The rapper celebrated 20 years since the release of ‘Chicken Noodle Soup’ and made it clear she’s not paying attention to anything else.

She wrote,“#20yearsofChickennoodlesoup yall should be saying thank you instead of hating for a living @damagedgoodscompany…”

Adding in another post, Young B stands for Young BluePrint now everybody say thank you.” In another set of posts, she made it known that she’s “Ms. do what I want.” Bianca Bonnie bragged about her success, celebrating ‘Chicken Noodle Soup’ going viral along with a message for the haters.

She wrote, “I am on Hot 97 & Power 105.1 in NYC right now present day my new single #Outside #StreamIt. It is the 20th year anniversary of my hit single ‘Chicken Noodle Soup’ that I created & my uncle Drizzle made the beat for. Mind you it’s going viral again right now on TikTok, the teenage kids are going crazy to it & I love that for me. I’m extremely proud of myself. So if y’all don’t like me I feel very sorry cause y’all really gonna stress yourselves out trying to keep up with me this year. If you are a hater just hang tight, strap on your seat belt because it’s only going to be another long decade. 20 year anniversary concert loading…

Social Media Weighs In

Folks gathered as they reacted to the ongoing beef between Brittney Taylor and Bianca Bonnie. While some felt Brittney should let it go, arguing that Bianca’s record is more well-known, others clapped back, saying that regardless, Bianca shouldn’t be performing Brittney’s song.

Instagram user wrote @suburban_shaylaa wrote, “Omg she still hating on ms chicken noodle soup?!? Girl get a hit”

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Instagram user @datbitchbrazy wrote, “If It Was That Serious, She Should’ve Took Bianca To Court And SUED HER!.! I’m Not One To Judge But I Just Don’t Understand Why She’s Still On This Topic LMFAOOO. It’s Almost Been 17 YEARS..! No Shade But I Only Know Bianca’s Version Anyways!!!!”

While Instagram user @joshaemariee wrote, “I thought yall left this beef on Love & HipHop 2017??”

Instagram user wrote @noflutesallowed wrote, “Whether no one knows the song or not it’s O weird AF to perform a song that doesn’t belong to you.. she’s not wrong”

Instagram user @certified_jewelz wrote,”The way I would’ve ran out on that stage with a mic and did my fukkin song”

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While Instagram user @babigigi765 wrote, “this like a T.l. Vs. TIP thing because they look and sound exactly the same”

Instagram user @coco_bunnyyy_wrote, “They literally look alike. Like sisters”

Instagram user @taylzmitch added, “This is REAL New York…how shorty performing YOUR song and have beef with you?? Girl whet”

While Instagram user @ladylondon wrote, “Unrelated to the video…. But Both these songs was so fire growing up. Beef aside-just wanna say— Yal both made history wit these. Nfs. What a time to be alive & outsideee”

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RELATED: Shai Moss Has The Internet Crackin’ UP With Her Voiceover Of Teyana Taylor’s “Byron” Rant From ‘Madea’s Big Happy Family’ (WATCH)

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11 Petite-Friendly Lightweight Spring Jackets to Add to Your Closet

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11 Petite-Friendly Lightweight Spring Jackets to Add to Your Closet

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At 5’3”, it’s difficult to find clothing that I’m not swimming in, especially when it comes to jackets. However, more fashion companies have been rolling out petite-friendly designs, crafting outerwear that doesn’t look five sizes too big. Over the years, I’ve found that cropped silhouettes always work best on a smaller frame, and this spring, there are plenty of lightweight options that feel extra fashionable and sleek.

From classic raincoats and trench coats to breezy denim picks, these are the lightweight, petite-friendly jackets that have completely transformed my wardrobe and made me a springtime layering expert. Grab one — or three! — to add to your rotation now.

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 11 Petite-Friendly Lightweight Jackets to Shop for Spring

1. Updated Classic: Trench coats are a closet staple, but this petite-friendly cropped style gives the silhouette a much-needed upgrade that feels fresh and youthful.

2. Subtle Pattern: Florals might not be for everyone, but anyone will fall in love with the subtle flower embroidery on this jacket. It’s appropriate for spring without feeling over the top.

3. So Pristine: Jean jackets can feel pretty casual — unless you opt for a white denim alternative. The crisp color quickly elevates any outfit.

4. Coachella Every Day: If you aren’t able to attend the iconic music festival, you can still evoke the carefree vibes with this twill fringe jacket. The textured tonal fringe adds a subtle dimension to the silhouette.

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5. Not Your Average Blazer: This denim blazer takes business casual to a whole new level. The sharp lapels keep the garment structured, while the large front pockets blend a bit of femininity and masculinity.

6. New Age Bomber: Most bomber jackets we’ve seen are made of leather and better for fall. Free People’s sporty design challenges the norm and will become a spring staple thanks to its breathable cotton material.

7. From Spring to Summer: Linen is naturally airy, and this relaxed Quince jacket is ideal for those balmy days that melt into chillier spring and summer evenings.

8. Fashionable and Functional: The pockets on this cool and casual cargo jacket aren’t just for show. The deep flap options offer plenty of space to store necessities like keys, lip gloss and even your phone.

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9. Leather for Spring? Groundbreaking! The earthy green tone softens the overall look of this high-fashion trucker jacket.

10. Rain, Rain Go Away: Springtime drizzles won’t be so dreary when you’re wrapped in this rain jacket. Bring the sunshine by opting for one of the bright color options.

11. Pure Innovation: A stretchy chore jacket? Yep, Quince made one, and it’s comfier than your favorite pajamas.

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