As a young guy, wellness coach Jackson Hightower was always in a hurry – even when it came to sex.

Now 42, he’s learned that slowing down and really savoring the experience of getting to know your partner is more than worth it.

“Sex has gotten significantly better with age,” Hightower told HuffPost. “It lasts longer, there’s more time for connection, and more time to give her orgasms and pleasure.”

With 20 years of experience, you learn a lot about how to care for a woman, and that plays a major role in ensuring that you both get off.

“Young men rush to release. Older, more experienced men know how to set the stage for safety and real connection so she can unfurl,” he said.

Because knowledge is power, we recently asked men over 30 like Hightower to share some of their best sex tips gained from experience. Read what they had to say below.

“As a young man, I wish someone had told me that good sex wasn’t all about me and my penis. Just like most men, younger me assumed that sex was just intercourse, and to have good intercourse, your penis had to ‘perform.’ Not only did that put a lot of pressure on me to feel solely responsible for the entire experience, it also led to me singlehandedly dictating the pace of things in bed: the moment I’d start getting hard, I’d rush us on toward intercourse. And the moment I finished, we were done. As a result, I never spent very much time on foreplay (especially foreplay focusing on my partner) for fear of losing an erection.

“Once I realised that it wasn’t all about me – that real sex included any activity that felt good and great sex was something I co-created with my partner – it relieved so much pressure. It opened the door to putting activities back on the menu (like oral) that extend the experience and are far more pleasurable for most women. Now, I feel free to spend as much time as my partner wants on foreplay, and if I get and lose an erection while I focus on her, all I need to do is ask for her to use her hands or mouth on me to get me back in the game. Or, if I find myself getting a bit too excited mid-intercourse, I can slow things down by taking a break and focusing on her. Because ultimately, I find I always have a better time when she’s having a better time.”

― Xander Marin, a 40-year-old content creator

“Oftentimes, the biggest obstacle to a woman achieving an orgasm during sex is her own conscious ‘thinking’ part of her brain, the part of her mind that races with anxiety and insecurity. So, to prevent that, what you can do as a man is help guide the focus of her mind to the present moment you and her are sharing.

“Things like describing the sensations she’s already feeling to amplify them more, praising her – telling her how sexy she looks and feels right now – leading her through the experience by guiding her with commands like ‘bend over,’ ‘come here,’ ‘grab it,’ ‘spread them.’ These comments pull her focus into the present and allow her to enjoy sex rather than be distracted by a million anxious thoughts instead.”

― Stirling Cooper, a 39-year-old sex coach

“I’d say, stop watching porn. It’s killing your ability to truly connect with a partner during the experience. It can also activate erectile dysfunction, performance anxiety and/or premature ejaculation. It teaches all the wrong moves and makes sex performative, which women can sense and dislike.”

“How can you really satisfy a woman? Are you supposed to learn a bunch of cool tricks? I’ve done a lot of things that most people never tried: BDSM, tantric sex, threesomes, orgasm stacking. But as with all skills and disciplines, the most important thing is to master the fundamentals: anticipation and foreplay. Treat the entire process of seduction as foreplay, right from the beginning when you first lock eyes. Tease her. Elicit dopamine responses. Take her on an emotional roller coaster while providing the safety guardrails at the same time. Make her want more. Do this with both your words and your actions.

“You need to understand how important the psychological journey is for her physical pleasure. Embrace the dichotomy of women by applying dichotomous techniques in both foreplay and sex. Give them hard and soft, rough and sweet, dominator and worshipper. Don’t just play one note; master the whole scale. Do this with the fundamentals until you can craft your own art with it.”

― Michael Chief, a 30-something dating coach and author of Never Lonely: The Uncensored Guide on How to Attract and Be Loved by Women.

“Get to know her or them by being curious. Ask them questions about what their preferences are: how they like best to be touched, pressure, speed, lubricant and where they like to be touched. Most importantly, is to touch for your own pleasure. Enjoy what you are doing. Communicate what you are feeling. Ask questions that they can answer yes or no to, like would you like it lower, would you like it more to the left, would you like circles, would you like it lighter? Then respond in increments and ask again until you get it just right.”

― Steve Bodansky, a 71-year-old sex educator and author of “Orgasm Matters”

“In my early years of having sex, I focused most on my pleasure, specifically on doing what it took for me to come. Often it was short, and most times underwhelming for my partner. Now, when I make love, my favourite thing is turning it into a challenge to see how many times I can get her to orgasm, and how long those climaxes can last. Sex has turned into ‘worship sessions’ where I focus on bringing pleasure to as many parts of her body as possible.

“Most guys don’t realise her entire body is covered in erogenous zones just waiting to be explored with touch, kisses and your tongue. We have so many more tools at our disposal than just our cock. Sometimes I will spend over an hour in foreplay before I even enter her. The secret is to build her pleasure so much until she is begging for me to fuck her, and fuck her hard.”

― Gerald Rogers, a 51-year-old author and speaker

“Foreplay starts way before you even touch her body, but sex isn’t over after you’ve orgasmed. Dialled-in aftercare creates a feeling of connection post-sex, which women crave as their hormones are in bonding mode post-orgasm.”

Kemi Badenoch was slammed for her new plan to drop Net Zero altogether during her broadcast rounds this morning.

The Tory leader claimed drilling in the North Sea would help ease the upcoming energy crisis, and dismissed the UK’s legally binding target to bring all greenhouse gas emissions to net zero by 2050 as a “slogan”.

She also claimed the country would go “bankrupt” because of the policy, which was championed by former Tory prime minister Theresa May.

Badenoch has called for the government to approve more oil and gas drilling in the UK in response to the strain the Iran war has put on global energy supplies.

“The first thing [the government] should do is start drilling our own oil and gas in the North Sea,” the Tory leader told Sky News. “It’s important for our energy security, our economic security, our national security, and they’re not doing [it].”

Presenter Trevor Phillips said: “That’s all very helpful, but the point is none of that oil would come on stream for years.”

He added: “I’m asking you what should happen in the next few months when this conflict is on, which is what people are worried about, what will happen between now and the summer, not what will happen next year or the year after.”

Badenoch said: “I’m not even talking about next year. I’m talking about this year.”

“There will be no oil coming out of Rosebank this year, you know that,” he hit back – while the Tory leader insisted gas would be accessible by this winter and that drilling would save British jobs, too.

“Governments are elected to do the right thing right now. That is not to bankrupt the country with a plan that is not working,” she told Sky News. “What we need is cheap, abundant energy – it should be clean, that means doing everything we can, nuclear, renewables, and oil and gas, too.”

Asked about the risks of fuel rationing, Badenoch said: “You’re speaking about a hypothetical. I don’t want to be in a situation where people are panic buying fuel because of speculative discussions.”

And on the BBC, presenter Laura Kuenssberg suggested Badenoch had been “misleading” people with her suggestion that this would make bills cheaper.

But the Tory leader claimed that is not what she was saying.

She said: “No, I’m not saying that once you drill oil and gas in the North Sea, it’s going to go straight on to your bills.

“No one has said that, but it is all related. And pretending that it is not related is very dishonest from a government that has a terrible energy policy.”

Labour’s chair Anna Turley slammed Badenoch’s broadcast performances, saying: “Kemi Badenoch’s energy policy has completely fallen apart. She’s been forced to admit her central energy intervention won’t bring people’s bills down. And she can’t say whether she’d support families who might need help.

“Badenoch wanted to send British troops head first into a war without thinking about the consequences. Now she’s putting forward energy plans that she freely admits won’t help Brits struggling with their bills. She is completely out of her depth and proving once again that she’s unfit for high office.”

Some research suggests that workers with ADHD are 60% more likely to be fired and 30% more likely to report chronic employment issues than those without ADHD.

And according to a new survey conducted by UK ADHD clinic Focused, run in partnership with the ADHD Chatter Podcast, just under half of people asked (47%) said they’ve been fired or lost jobs partly due to their ADHD.

59% of people surveyed with ADHD hadn’t told their employer about it, meanwhile, and 77% said that ADHD had negatively affected their performance at work.

Nurse practitioner and clinical lead at Focused, Danielle Mulligan, explained that though these stats are “sad,” they’re “probably not too surprising for many people with ADHD”.

One in five neurodiverse workers has faced discrimination or harassment related to their disability at work.

“It’s common for symptoms like inattentiveness to make it seem like someone is disengaged in a conversation, which could easily not play well in meetings or in general workplace settings,” Mulligan told us.

Additionally, “Impulsivity and emotional dysregulation could escalate a difference of opinion into a more heated disagreement, which in an extreme case could turn unprofessional. And poor timekeeping might lead to repeated lateness that reaches the point of dismissal.”

When these pile up, they might lead to a negative perception of a worker – particularly, Mulligan said, if their ADHD has not been disclosed and/or reasonable adjustments have not been put into place.

But speaking to HuffPost UK previously, career psychologist Dr George Sik said that many people who delay or avoid telling their employer about their ADHD are doing so to “protect themselves”.

“There’s still a real fear of being judged as less capable or more difficult to manage, even when someone is performing well. For a lot of people, waiting feels safer than risking the label being misunderstood.

“However, when it’s starting to affect your workload or wellbeing, that might be a sign that staying silent is costing more than speaking up”.

For her part, Mulligan said, “While it’s up to the employee to tell their employer about their diagnosis, it’s probable that many employers could do more to make sharing this info easier, and less riddled with feelings of uncertainty.”

Just over 11% of people with ADHD surveyed said that ADHD had no effect on their work, while 12% said it had a positive effect.

“The phrase ‘ADHD is my superpower’ is one that we’re starting to hear more of now that awareness of the condition is increasing and people are beginning to understand it better,” Mulligan shared.

“Due to their different way of thinking, many people with ADHD take an alternative approach to solving problems, thinking ‘outside of the box’ to overcome obstacles in a task.”

It’s also common for people with ADHD to excel at creative tasks, she added.

“Hyperactivity symptoms can provide someone with the bursts of energy they need to be more productive, or bring enthusiasm into a meeting or group activity. And hyperfocus – which many people with ADHD experience – can mean that someone is able to complete a complex, intensive or fiddly task in a swift and methodical manner.”

A senior MP has called out Donald Trump after he again accused Nato of not supporting the US in its time of need.

The US president has lambasted the defence alliance repeatedly as its member states have refused to get involved in his offensive action against Iran.

He has repeated his false claim that Nato has never been there for the US and threatened to pull out of the alliance altogether.

Actually, the only time the mutual defence clause of Article 5 has been activated was following the 9/11 attacks in New York.

Multiple countries, including the UK, sent troops to war in Afghanistan on America’s behalf for nearly 20 years.

So Tory MP Alicia Kearns, who sits as the shadow national security minister, nit out at the president on X.

She wrote: “As a British MP I can tell you what ‘showing up’ looks like.

“It looks like 457 British soldiers who died in Afghanistan.

“Nato has only ever gone to war for one country. Yours.

“The question isn’t whether Nato showed up, it’s whether we forgive you for pretending otherwise.”

Her remarks come after Trump provocatively claimed on Friday: “Nato made a terrible mistake when they wouldn’t send a small amount of military armaments, just even acknowledge what we were doing for the world taking on Iran.”

He continued: “I think a tremendous mistake was when Nato just wasn’t there. They just weren’t there.

“They take a lot of money from the United States.

We spend billions of dollars a year on Nato.

“Hundreds protecting them! We would have always been there for them.

“But, now, based on their actions, I guess we don’t have to be, do we?”

He added: “Why would we be there for them if they’re not there for us?”

Chances are you’ve heard of “the bank of mum and dad,” or adults relying on their parents for anything from house down-payments to holidays.

But the “reverse bank of mum and dad,” which sees adult children spending on their ageing parents, is a growing phenomenon, says James Mulvaney, Head of Digital at Clifton Private Finance.

Already, 55% of UK adults with living parents financially help, or expect to help, them in retirement. Only 45% of adults in midlife (45-54 years old) are optimistic about their parents’ finances, a figure that drops to 2% among 18-24-year-olds.

“Several factors are driving this shift,” Mulvaney said.

“Rising care costs and the wider cost of living crisis have made retirement much more expensive, while many older homeowners are discovering that their pensions may not stretch as far as they once expected.”

Then, investment platform Ageon noted, there’s the fact that people are living longer lives. That means that savings, investments, and pensions may have to go further than expected.

“At the same time, families are recognising that housing decisions can play a major role in supporting older relatives,” Mulvaney added.

While the parents of over-50s may have benefited from lower house prices in their youth, parents of younger adults may have been part of a pricier housing market, which offers less return on investment.

Housing is the biggest source of household wealth in the UK (40%), followed by private pension wealth (35%).

“For many households, helping parents navigate retirement is becoming just as important as helping younger generations onto the property ladder,” said Mulvaney.

“And with housing playing such a central role in family finances, property is likely to remain at the heart of how families support one another for years to come.”

Mulvaney told us communication is key.

“One of the most effective steps you can take to help your older parents is reviewing their retirement finances together,” he shared.

That could involve reviewing their monthly outgoings, planning for care costs, and/or a simple budget.

It might also be worth discussing downsizing, which can “release equity from a larger home while also reducing maintenance costs and household bills”.

Lastly, Mulvaney said, “It’s also worth checking whether parents are claiming all the financial support they are entitled to. Recent DWP figures suggest almost one million pensioner households are missing out on an average of around £2,600 a year in Pension Credit, so checking eligibility can be one of the most valuable steps families take.

“Benefits such as Pension Credit, Housing Benefit, Council Tax Reduction, and Winter Fuel Payments can make a meaningful difference to retirees on lower incomes.”

Bridget Phillipson has claimed questions around the theft of Morgan McSweeney’s phone are drifting into “conspiracy theory territory”.

The cabinet minister was defending Keir Starmer’s former chief of staff as the government is facing further pressure to disclose all of its communications around Peter Mandelson’s appointment as ambassador to Washington.

McSweeney phoned the Metropolitan Police on October 20 last year to say his iPhone had been snatched out of his hand in Westminster.

In a transcript released by the police, McSweeney did not tell them who he was or why the phone contained highly-sensitive information.

He also mistakenly gave the call handler the wrong street name for where the theft took place.

The phone’s disappearance meant it was not possible to access any potential communications between the PM’s former top aide and his close friend Mandelson, who is in disgrace over his association with late paedophile Jeffrey Epstein.

The theft has triggered intense scrutiny across Westminster about the timing of events.

On Sky News, presenter Trevor Phillips asked Phillipson: “Why is Morgan McSweeney the only person in the modern world who doesn’t have his messages automatically backed up to the cloud so we could recover them and see what traffic there was between him and our former ambassador to the United States?”

Phillipson said the “question was a bit of a reach”, adding: “It’s hyperbole and you know it.”

Phillips insisted the question was “perfectly straightforward”, before asking if she backed up her own messages.

“I follow all of the guidance on what is required,” the minister said. “What happened here, which we all know, is that Morgan McSweeney was mugged, reported that to the police, followed all of the processes that was asked of him.

“I do think some of this wider coverage is drifting into conspiracy theory territory here.”

The presenter said he was not questioning any of that, but was “just wondering how it is this particular set of exchanges seems to be the only thing in the 21st Century that isn’t backed up somewhere”.

“Again, that’s hyperbole and you know it,” Phillipson said, visibly irritated. “Come on, to say he’s the ‘only person’ – it’s ridiculous and you know that.”

She said McSweeney is providing any material required, while the government “is complying with the humble address, providing information that isn’t needed, has been asked”.

“All ministers will also be complying with what is asked of us,” she added.