Rishi Sunak‘s D-Day blunder, Sir Keir Starmer‘s free suits, Andy Burnham using the emergency alerts system for barbecuing advice: voters must often think, ‘What an idiot the prime minister is – I could do better’. 

Now they have a chance. A new computer game gives players an opportunity to face various prime ministerial dilemmas and to be scored accordingly.

Imagine, for instance, that London‘s Tube has been halted by a strike. Do you cave in to the unions, back the bosses or appoint an independent mediator (‘mostly so that no one rings you again about the Circle Line’)?

Here is another problem. Within days of taking the highest office in the land you learn that the Treasury has run out of fiscal headroom and one of your manifesto commitments must be disowned to stop a run on the pound.

Do you: drop weekly bin collections; scrap a new hospitals programme and instead talk dishonestly about upgrades to existing hospitals; abort a promised tax freeze and insist that ‘economic circumstances have changed’ since the Election a week ago; or do you cancel a much-vaunted transport investment programme?

When some minister is caught in a scandal, do you, as boss, prop up party morale by defending the erring wretch? Or swing the axe before considering the facts of the matter? 

There is the middle option of referring the allegations to a standards committee but that might simply appall both your supporters and your enemies.

It is not unknown for prime ministers to cause diplomatic incidents. If, say, you upset the French president (easily done, after all), do you personally telephone the Elysee Palace to apologise?

Do you issue a public announcement insisting that your so-called insult was misunderstood and was in fact a sign of your deep affection for cher Emmanuel?

Or do you opt for the third option of sticking to your guns and saying the French deserve anything that’s coming to them? Which option is wisest? 

On that one, I must confess, I had little hesitation, but then I do not have to spend G7 meetings in the same room as President Macron.

Ladies and gentlemen, I gave No 10: Full Confidence a couple of goes. As a parliamentary sketch writer I might be supposed to have a nose for what journalists want from a PM. 

Well, that plainly is not true. In both games I was bundled out of office by… the media. How merciless and unpredictable they were.

As the game proceeds, your levels of support change with backbench MPs, Cabinet ministers, the media and the public. Once you hit zero per cent on any one of those four, you are out of office.

In my first attempt I survived in office for two years, ten months, worse than Neville Chamberlain, roughly on a par with Gordon Brown.

On the second go I lasted one year and nine months which was worse than Sir Keir, better than Mr Sunak and about the same as poor Sir Anthony Eden.

The game, whose inventor Benjamin Brewis was inspired by Downing Street’s recent rapid turnover of prime ministers, has been such a success that it has shot to the top of Apple’s computer-game charts.

Mr Brewis has pointed to such real-life political storylines such as the Conservative Chief Whip, Gavin Williamson, who used to keep a pet tarantula on his desk, and the time that Boris Johnson was seeking to avoid some live TV cameras and contrived to stride into a walk-in fridge. 

Then there are the natural disasters that loom as if from nowhere, at present the drought afflicting so much of England and Wales.

In another of the game’s storylines, suburban London’s parakeet population gets out of control. 

Should the prime minister: do nothing; set up a rehoming scheme for parakeets; or order an immediate extermination of the little pests?

Not being particularly attached to parrots, and as someone who likes politicians to be decisive, I pressed the option for the parakeet extermination. 

Let rip the Purdey shotguns like the artillery’s opening salvo at the battle of the Somme, said I as prime minister.

Even as I was taking this decision, my advisers told me that the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds was issuing a statement. Uh oh.

Mr Brewis’s game, for which one pays £2.99, is quite fun for half an hour or so. Some of his scenarios betray a nicely sceptical air. 

After a by-election loss, should a prime minister blame the local candidate, announce a ‘listening’ visit to the constituency in something like six weeks’ time, or give an interview insisting (while avoiding eye contact with the camera) that the swing in the vote was small enough for this, in fact, to represent ‘a great win’ for the government? 

Don’t give them ideas, Mr Brewis.

One thing the game gets right, I suspect, is the time pressure. You only have a few seconds to read questions and possible solutions, and soon the sheer pace of traffic starts to make you panic. 

The letters dance in front of your eyes. How easy it becomes to press the wrong button. This may be equally true in the real No10.

Where the game is at present less satisfactory is in – cough – attributing such power to the media. 

In my two spells of office with No10: Full Confidence, I was toppled because I scored 0 per cent approval with the media, even though I had 100 per cent support from my backbenchers and the Cabinet.

Boris and Keir will tell you that the parliamentarians are far more dangerous than the Fourth Estate.

The Duke of Sussex has returned to the UK ‘just as angry’ as he was when he left six years ago, friends claim.

Harry, 41 – who flew into Birmingham last week with wife Meghan, 45, and their two children for a new life back in England – is said to be ‘spitting blood’ at certain members of the Royal Family and ‘expects an apology’.

The couple quit as working royals in 2020 and moved to the US in what has become known as ‘Megxit’.

Relations were further strained between the Sussexes and senior royals by a series of bombshell revelations in Harry’s memoir, Spare, and in several TV interviews, including one with Oprah Winfrey.

Earlier this month, in a shock announcement, the couple revealed they would be returning to a private, non-royal home, believed to be in the Cotswolds. It is understood that their children, Archie, seven, and Lilibet, five, have been enrolled to start at a local prep school this week. But a source told The Mail on Sunday: ‘Friends who caught up with Harry were expecting to hear noises of contrition and humility.

‘Instead, there will be no imminent mea culpa from Harry by the sounds of things. Far from it, in fact. He is still in that Oprah mindset.

‘They were agog to hear he still feels angry with members of the Royal Family, is still frustrated by the ‘men in grey suits’ who surround his father, and still expects an apology.’

Harry has repeatedly accused aides of trying to sabotage his reconciliation with King Charles, echoing the same language used by his mother, Princess Diana, about royal courtiers who, she believed, were trying to undermine her.

The source said: ‘Friends who have spoken to him since he returned to the UK were surprised to discover that the record has not changed one bit since 2020 and Megxit. It’s shocking and quite sad.’ It echoes what Harry said in an interview in 2023 when he said: ‘What I’d really like is some accountability. And an apology to my wife.’

The source added: ‘He certainly won’t be issuing a public apology for his actions and he’s whipped himself up all over again and Diana’s legacy is a factor in this.’

Next August will mark 30 years since Princess Diana died in a car crash in Paris. Last month, during a visit to the UK, the Sussexes visited Diana’s grave at her childhood home, Althorp. Meghan later shared photos on social media of her two children carrying bunches of flowers through the estate’s grounds.

Last week, for their return to the UK, the Sussexes flew in on a private jet, believed to have been chartered from Planet Nine Private Air, a California-based operator, which costs about $12,000 (£9,000) per hour of flight time.

Yesterday, it was reported in the New York Post’s Page Six that the couple have enlisted the help of hedge-fund billionaire Ian Wace for their move back to Britain. The celebrity column claimed that Mr Wace – the founding partner of Marshall Wace LLP, one of the largest hedge funds in the world – was helping to finance the move as a long-term friend of the Sussexes.

The couple stayed on Mr Wace’s private Scottish island, Tanera Mor, during their recent holiday.

It is understood the Sussexes are waiting on a new assessment of their security needs after losing their automatic right to armed police protection when they stepped down as working royals.

In the meantime, Harry’s security adviser, David Langdown, is believed to have established a team of British security staff. The couple, who were approached for comment, will retain their homes in Montecito and Portugal.

Will Meghan be at Harry’s side for Diana Award?

The Duchess of Sussex could join Prince Harry at a high-profile fundraiser for The Diana Award now she has returned to Britain, The Mail on Sunday understands.

Attending the event would mark a symbolic moment for Meghan by linking her to the legacy of Harry’s mother, Princess Diana.

Harry is expected to attend the glitzy dinner and awards ceremony on September 18, say sources – and Meghan is considering joining him.

The Diana Award – which celebrates young people who make a difference to the lives of others – remains one of the last formal charitable links between Harry and his brother William.

The Prince of Wales made an appearance on behalf of the charity, which was set up in his mother’s honour, earlier this summer.

‘Harry is expected to take the lead at this event,’ said the source. ‘The brothers tend to take it in turns.

‘You won’t see the two men attending an event together any time soon – especially if Meghan is there.’

It is understood the ceremony will be staged at Raffles London at The OWO, a hotel located in the Old War Office in Whitehall.

Harry is expected to attend the glitzy dinner and awards ceremony on September 18, say sources – and Meghan is considering joining him

‘The Diana Award started looking for wealthy individuals to buy tables this summer,’ the source said. ‘You got the impression that Meghan’s attendance was not nailed-on yet, but it will be just the right sort of high-profile and glitzy occasion for her London debut.’

Another source suggested, however, that any appearance by the duchess is likely to cause tension.

‘It will make a lot of people at Kensington Palace uneasy if she is in attendance,’ they said.

‘Instead of returning to Britain solely as Harry’s wife and the mother of his children, she would be appearing alongside him at an event tied directly to the memory of Diana.

‘Save-the-date cards were sent two weeks ago.’

A spokesman for the charity said: ‘The Diana Award is at the early stages of considering how it may mark the 30th anniversary of Princess Diana’s death next year.

‘No plans have been agreed, no event has been confirmed, and no decisions have been made regarding attendance or participation.’

A spokesman for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex made no comment.

The disorder that burst onto the streets of Middlesbrough last weekend continues. On Thursday night, three cars were senselessly set alight in a field.

What began as a gathering to mourn the passing of Michael Cahill, 23 – one of five occupants killed when their car shot down the A66 in the wrong direction – quickly descended into a banger race, terrifying residents nearby.

The burning vehicles have become a picture of lawlessness that shames a corner of England of which I’m otherwise immensely proud.

As Tees Valley mayor, I represent the people of this region, and I can tell you that most are utterly repulsed by what they have witnessed these past few days. 

They are decent, hard-working people who want nothing more than to get to work, walk their children to school and enjoy their own town centre without fear of crime.

The problem has never been the people of Middlesbrough, but a drugs trade that has sunk its claws into the town, and wannabe gangsters who settle their petty scores in broad daylight with no thought for anyone else.

No amount of polite language should be allowed to disguise what is driving this. These are not misunderstood young men who took a wrong turn. 

They are criminals, plain and simple, chasing money and status through drugs and intimidation.

Cars were set alight in Middlesbrough for one of the occupants of the VW Passat involved in the fat A66 crash

The burnt remains of three cars sit in a scorched field billowing smoke into the sky 

Advertisement

They have been allowed to flourish because for years the people who hold the levers of policing and criminal justice have been soft where they ought to have been hard.

This is not just a Middlesbrough problem, but symptomatic of Underclass Britain. This is the world where worklessness, drugs and benefits have become a way of life. 

This would rot any community, but what really kills it is the loss of respect for authority and personal responsibility.

There are now whole sections of this country that simply do not fear consequences, for the very good reason that there have not been any. 

They have grown up learning that a police officer can be sworn at without a second thought, that a teacher can be defied, that a court order is a piece of paper to be ignored.

Hand in hand with that goes the slow death of personal responsibility, because in this world everything is always somebody else’s fault. 

The drugs, the violence, the intimidation, the stolen cars driven at lethal speed through streets where children play, all of it gets explained away as the inevitable product of circumstance – ignoring the millions who grew up in exactly the same tough towns and chose instead to work, raise their families properly and keep to the law.

Clips of the cars skidding around the field were captioned ‘Rest in peace Micky’ in reference to Michael Cahill, one of the A66 fatalities

Advertisement

Scores of blue balloons spelling out ‘Michael’ were released into the sky

It is a national failure that just happened to be on show in the North East last week.

I do not want to hear local politicians talking piously about ‘all the victims’, because on the A66 that night there were two victims and their names were PC Matthew Blades and PC Tom Clough.

Nor do I want to see books of tribute opened for those who lose their lives committing crime, as though recklessness that puts everyone else in danger is a tragedy to be romanticised.

Over the coming weeks and months, the Home Office needs to get a grip by backing the police to flood these areas with officers and then keeping them there for as long as the job takes.

Forces such as Cleveland should be given the fairer share of funding they have been denied for years, so that officers can get back on the streets. 

And courts must lock up the people who wreck lives instead of handing them yet another chance they will only throw back in our faces.

None of this is easy and it can’t be fixed overnight, but the alternative is exactly what the country has just watched, which is families grieving, communities frightened and a political class that keeps quietly telling itself that all of this is happening to somebody else.

Philippa Cresswell, customer experience director at EMR, said: “We recognise how frustrating this disruption will be for customers, particularly following the three Saturdays affected by RMT strike action earlier this month, and we are very sorry for the impact this will have on August bank holiday plans.

The youngster has suffered serious injuries in the attack, with two teenage boys arrested on suspicion of assault and possession of a bladed article

A 13-year-old boy has been stabbed at a Taco Bell in Rochdale town centre this evening, leaving the youngster with serious injuries following the shocking assault.

Two teenagers have been arrested following the incident, Greater Manchester Police said.

A large police presence remains in the town’s Riverside Walk. While the Manchester Evening News reports that crime scene investigation officers are also in the area.

The fast-food restaurant has been cordoned off by the police. Photos show a number of officers around the restaurant while the air ambulance landed nearby, reports

A spokesperson for Greater Manchester Police said: “We were called to reports of a stabbing at 6.09pm on Riverside Walk. Boy, 13, taken to hospital with serious injuries.

“Two teenage boys have been arrested on suspicion of assault and possession of a bladed article. Enquiries are ongoing.”

Ensure our latest stories always appear at the top of your Google Search by making us a Preferred Source. Click here to activate or add us as your Preferred Source in your Google search settings.

“I’ll fight with him, I’ll box him – whatever way he wants, so we’ll see what happens on the night. I’m really looking forward to it. Belfast around Christmas
time is going to be jumping.”

Belfast boxer Anthony Cacace will defend his WBA super featherweight world title in his hometown this December, it has been confirmed.

The 37-year-old achieved his dream of becoming a world champion in Dublin in March, beating James ‘Jazza’ Dickens on a unanimous decision at the 3Arena.

Cacace spoke of wanting to put the title on the line again in his hometown and Frank Warren’s Queensberry Promotions have confirmed that will happen on December 19 at the O2.

His opponent is Liverpool fighter Nick Ball, who boasts a record of 25-1 – his defeat coming in his last fight as he lost his WBA featherweight title to Brandon Figueroa by TKO.

The English fighter is stepping up in weight to face Cacace in December and he sees this as a ‘massive opportunity’.

“He’s a solid champion, it’s going to be a good fight,” said Ball. “It’s a massive opportunity at a new weight.”

Advertisement

Cacace hasn’t fought in Belfast since May 2023 and he is expecting ‘a good scrap’.

“Nick’s a great fighter, ex-world champion, so I expect a good scrap. He’s a hard man, so let’s do it,” Cacace told DAZN.

“I’ll fight with him, I’ll box him – whatever way he wants, so we’ll see what happens on the night. I’m really looking forward to it.

“Belfast around Christmas time is going to be jumping, so I’m looking forward to it.”

The Belfast fight night is expected to be broadcast on DAZN.

Click here to sign up to our sport newsletter, bringing you the latest sports news, headlines and top stories

The final properties at Abbey View, a Barratt Homes site in the coastal town, are Kingsville-style houses priced from £259,995.

They offer three-storey living with four bedrooms, and are marketed as suitable for families and young professionals.

Steven Ball, sales director at Barratt Homes North East, said: “The final homes at Abbey View present a fantastic opportunity for a prospective buyer to find their ideal home in the vibrant community of Whitby.

“We urge anyone looking to secure a home at Abbey View, or buy property in North Yorkshire, to speak with our dedicated sales team about available homes, deals and schemes.”

Located between the North Yorkshire Moors and the coast, Abbey View residents can enjoy coastal walks, restaurants, and Whitby’s historic harbour.

The Kingsville homes feature a ground-floor kitchen and family area, a first-floor lounge and en suite bedroom, and two further bedrooms and a family bathroom on the top floor.

Barratt Homes is offering schemes to help buyers move, including Deposit Boost, where the developer may contribute up to 5 per cent of the purchase price towards a deposit.

For more information about the development, visit the website at Abbey View.

Police cordoned off Taco Bell in Rochdale after the attack with a major investigation underway

A 13-year-old boy has been left with serious injuries after being stabbed in Taco Bell in Rochdale. Officers from Greater Manchester Police were called to reports of the serious incident at around 6pm on Saturday, August 19, at the restaurant on Riverside Walk.

A boy, aged 13, was taken to hospital with serious injuries. Two teenage boys have since been arrested on suspicion of assault and possession of a bladed article. Enquiries are ongoing, GMP say.

A man and his family, who were dining at the restaurant, witnessed the incident. Speaking to the Manchester Evening News, David Lane told of the ‘horrific moment’ and how his actions helped save the boy.

Click here to get the biggest stories straight to your inbox in our Daily Newsletter

“We sat down and ordered our food at around 5.50pm, then a load of kids came in and started fighting,” he said. “I got up and went to one of the crew members at Taco Bell and asked them to kick them out because my family were there.

“I told them to lock the door, and they never did. About ten minutes later, the crew member who was guarding the door was pushed by one of them, then around 20 to 25 youths ran in, some with knives.”

Mr Lane said that at the time his son was in the toilet, and left shortly before the group made their way to the bathroom.

“I heard a load of crying and screaming. That’s when the lad got stabbed,” he continued. “I grabbed a load of napkins and put pressure on the wound. It looked like he lost a lot of blood. It was a hectic scene.”

Emergency services quickly arrived on the scene. Pictures show an ambulance and a number of police cars stationed outside Taco Bell.

“My wife was looking after our children at the time. It was horrific. If it wasn’t for my actions, I think he would have died,” Mr Lane said. “My children shouldn’t have to see that.

“He got taken away in an ambulance. The place then got closed down by the police.”

The restaurant was evacuated and remains closed as enquires are ongoing.

A spokesperson for Greater Manchester Police said: “We were called to reports of a stabbing at 6.09pm on Riverside Walk. Boy, 13, taken to hospital with serious injuries.

“Two teenage boys have been arrested on suspicion of assault and possession of a bladed article. Enquiries are ongoing.”

Moses Itauma was stretchered out of the ring as his world title dream was crushed by Filip Hrgovic in London.

The 21-year-old sensation was taken to hospital immediately after his ninth round stoppage in an extraordinary contest at the O2 Arena.

His promoter Frank Warren also suggested he had suffered a leg injury after punching himself out to the point of exhaustion.

Itauma was aiming to become the second youngest heavyweight world champion in history up against the experienced Croatian with the vacant IBF title on the line.

Itauma blasted Hrgovic with brutal shots throughout the first half of the fight, winning every round in a dominant display.

Hrgovic’s iron chin absorbed the biggest and baddest shots Itauma threw, however.

The Chatham fighter had won all 14 of his previous bouts, 12 of those via knockout, but there were questions how he might cope when taken into deep waters against an experienced and durable operator like his opponent.

The youngster had never fought beyond the sixth round before tonight with his tank quickly emptying in the eighth round where Hrgovic smelt blood.

Itauma was suddenly spent in the ninth, barely able to stand up with the fight swinging dramatically in Hrgovic’s favour. Itauma continued to swing, but was no longer finding the target as he staggered wildly around the ring.

Hrgovic saw his opportunity with only the ropes holding Itauma upright as heavy blows came in.

With nothing left in his utterly exhausted fighter, Itauma’s trainer Ben Davison mercifully threw in the towel just as referee Howard Foster stepped in to stop the fight.

Itauma was immediately attended to by the ringside doctor and paramedics and was carried backstage on a stretcher to be taken to hospital.

Itauma’s promoter Frank Warren later revealed his fighter was struggling with a leg injury during the contest.

‘This was an unbelievable fight tonight. The champ prevailed and did what he had to do. Moses [Itauma] gave everything, he has a leg injury. He has to go back to the drawing board and he can come again,’ Warren said.

‘Towards the end, Moses wasn’t trying to hold or anything he was throwing punches and he got clipped. He started off well and what happened, happened. That’s boxing. It was a great fight.’

Warren added in the post-fight press conference: ‘Moses has gone to hospital. He has done something to his leg.

‘Obviously he has to be checked over, it was a brutal fight.

‘He did something to his leg and he was knackered as well. It was a very fast-paced fight.’

MORE: Moses Itauma slapped by Filip Hrgovic after pushing opponent off stage at chaotic weigh-in