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Midlife women are busy blowing up their marriages while their mothers’ generation stuck it out. TRACEY COX reveals who is really getting it right – and the relationship advice from your mum you SHOULD follow

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UK sex and relationship expert Tracey Cox (pictured) has debunked old-school sayings about marriage

Our grandparents didn’t get divorced anywhere near as much as we do: divorce rates were low in the 1950s and 60s. But was that because they were happier – or they had no choice?

After all, women couldn’t get mortgages without a husband’s signature, contraception was patchy and the ‘shame’ of a failed marriage would follow you for life.

And yet… I’ve talked to enough couples who’ve been married 40, 50 and 60 years to know they’ve learned a lot about relationships along the way.

Couples aren’t staying together out of fear or convention anymore but something in the old rulebook is still working for them.

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Here’s the old advice I think stands up, what doesn’t and if it can save your own struggling marriage right now.

UK sex and relationship expert Tracey Cox (pictured) has debunked old-school sayings about marriage

DON’T GO TO BED ANGRY

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Verdict: Bin it

I’m a huge fan of the 20-minute argument rule: If you’re still fighting furiously 20 minutes into a row, stop and take a 10 minute ‘calm’ break. (Make a cup of tea or go for a quick walk rather than think what point you’ll make next and you’ll see how effective it is.)

If you’ve been arguing for a long time and find yourself going around in circles, feeling increasingly frustrated, continuing to fight as your bedtime comes and goes is NOT a good idea. The more tired you get, the less patient and focused you will be.

Agreeing to sleep on it and resume talking the next day is by far the best decision to make in these circumstances. If you can say, ‘I love you, we’ll sort this out tomorrow’, even better.

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The original advice does have merit in that you should speak up rather than shut up about things that have bothered you during the day. But refusing to go to bed until things are completely sorted is not a good plan.

DON’T BOTHER YOUR HUSBAND AFTER A LONG DAY AT WORK

Verdict: Bin it

I vividly remember busting to tell my Dad something that happened at school and my Mum saying, ‘Don’t bother him when he’s just come home from work, darling’.

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The main thrust of this advice was that the wife should shoulder all the ‘little’ problems (anything to do with the children, the home, anything that’s bothering you or anyone else you care about) while he gets to deal with the ‘big’ problems (money, the bins and men’s work like the garden). But only after you put his slippers on.

I’M UNHAPPY NOW – WILL ANY OF THIS OLD STUFF HELP ME?

Old school thinking that certainly won’t help is anything with the theme of not speaking up about what’s making you unhappy. 

Bottling up resentment only makes it fester more. If you’re struggling with something your partner is doing, talk to them about it.

‘Standing by your man’ if it means putting up with terrible behaviour also isn’t going to do you any favours. 

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Many women stay because ‘If I leave now, it will mean all those unhappy years weren’t worth it’. 

Here’s the truth: they were never going to be worth it. Get out now so you don’t waste more time on something that’s unfixable and unliveable.

Clarity is something you can take from past wisdom – especially when it comes to what you expect from each other (think a clear plan of how to divide household chores etc). 

Effort is another theme – keeping up appearances is something both of you should do. 

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Treating your relationship like a living thing that needs constant care is another biggie.

As for the ‘shut up and smile’ stuff: anything that asks one person to tolerate mistreatment or stay silent ‘for the sake of the marriage’ is rubbish. 

That was never really advice for a happy marriage. It was telling you to stay in one, happy or not.

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The ‘sort it before your husband comes home’ advice taught generations of women to shoulder the mental load, deal solo with their own grievances, put on a happy face and have dinner on the table before daring to mention anything was wrong.

These days, both men and women work so everyone’s had a long day at work. It’s also recognised that the saying ‘a woman’s work is never done’ is true. 

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Most women still do nearly all the housework, social organising and looking after of the children. It really doesn’t ever end.

It’s one thing to want a calm home but if you feel like you should edit your feelings to keep the peace, something is very wrong.

STAND BY YOUR MAN – NO MATTER WHAT

Verdict: It depends on ‘what’ is

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If your partner is ill, depressed, struggling with work or going through a rough patch generally, of course you should be loyal and supportive.

Standing by your man through repeated cheating, emotional or physical abuse or addiction they refuse to address isn’t loyalty, it’s stupidity or martyrdom.

Our mothers and grandmothers might have been trapped by financial or social reasons but most of those no longer apply.

Therapists now draw a much sharper line under ‘no matter what’. Problems are one thing. But don’t stand by someone who IS the problem.

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A WOMAN’S PLACE IS IN THE HOME

Verdict: Clearly rubbish but there’s something to be learned here

Dig deeper and you see what did work about this arrangement: everyone knew where they were. The roles were clearly defined.

Research on modern dual-income couples consistently shows that confusion over who is responsible for what in the running of the household is a bigger source of resentment than the time spent doing it all. 

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Those who’ve discussed and decided on mutually agreed tasks report much higher relationship satisfaction than those who don’t – even if the workload is still uneven.

The wording is wrong – plenty of women are now the breadwinners of the marriage – but there’s a nugget of wisdom here.

PUT YOUR LIPSTICK ON BEFORE HE GETS HOME

Verdict: True – but it cuts both ways

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Slobbing about together in egg-stained T-shirts and trackpants is one of the pluses of being in a long-term relationship. You can truly relax with each other without being judged.

Always do it and you run a risk. Love is kind but it’s not blind. We’d all love to think it’s what’s happening on the inside that’s important but physical attraction is a huge factor in long-term desire. 

Love responds to intelligence and emotional intelligence; lust is strongly influenced by what we see.

In short, both of you should keep putting your ‘lipstick’ on, figuratively speaking, no matter how long you’ve been together. Effort matters.

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MANAGING MONEY IS HIS DEPARTMENT

Verdict: Terrible, terrible advice

If there’s one piece of vintage wisdom that needs to be buried forever, it’s this one.

Keeping the wife in the dark about household finances wasn’t always done for the ‘don’t worry your pretty head’ reason. 

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A lot of the time it was about controlling her. This also left generations of women financially illiterate and vulnerable when the marriage ended or the husband died.

Money issues are one of the top predictors of divorce. Financial infidelity – hidden debts, secret accounts – is now recognised by therapists as a betrayal on par with an affair.

Men aren’t necessarily better at managing money than women are. Both of you should know where it is, what’s owed, what’s coming in and have a say in how it’s spent and saved.

MARRIAGE TAKES WORK

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Verdict: Quietly brilliant and will never age

If other things on this list are outright rubbish or a bit of a mixed bag, this one has stood the test of time for centuries.

It’s also the piece of advice lots of young couples are unlikely to pay attention to. In our me-centric society, there’s a belief that you shouldn’t have to change or bend to fit your partner. If you find the ‘right’ person, love is effortless.

It’s not.

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Our grandparent’s generation didn’t always have better marriages. But many of them did go in expecting to work at it for life, rather than to feel constantly happy and bail the moment they didn’t.

Decades of Gottman studies (the most trusted institute for relationship findings) prove the couples who last aren’t the ones who never struggle. 

They’re the ones who treat their relationship as a living thing: something that requires active maintenance, reworking and repairing things that don’t work. 

Staying curious about a partner who changes constantly is the true key to lasting happiness.

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People ask, ‘How do you stay in love with the same person the whole of your life?’. The answer is you don’t.

Each of you change into different people throughout your life and each time it happens, it’s a choice of whether to fall in love again or jump ship.

Knowing this is the single biggest thing worth borrowing from past wisdom.

Relate.org.uk offer relationship counselling for all incomes. You’ll find Tracey’s latest book, ‘Great Sex Starts at 50’ at all good booksellers. Follow her @traceycoxsexauthor.

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Terminally ill West Lothian man hits out as plans for countryside family home refused

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Daily Record

Gordon Bow suffers from a terminal illness and said he needs the accommodation for his son and family members to help him.

A Broxburn man is considering an appeal to the Scottish Government after the council rejected plans for a new family home at his smallholding.

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Gordon Bow suffers from a terminal illness and said he needs the accommodation for his son and family members to help him.

And local councillor Angela Doran-Timson highlighted how few councillors were at the meeting which made the decision.

She echoed Mr Bow when she told the Local Democracy Reporting Service “I don’t think Gordon got a fair hearing.”

Speaking at last week’s meeting of the Development Management Committee (DMC) in Livingston, planners said the proposals for a five-bed two-storey home on site, adjoining a disused tractor shed would contravene strict rules about housebuilding in the countryside and recommended refusal.

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In all 11 policies against development in the countryside would be contravened. Planners said the development would encroach 60sqm into the countryside to the west of the smallholding at 11 Holmes Holdings.

Mr Bow told the LDRS: “I’ve got 12 acres of spring barley growing. The 60 sq meters is insignificant. It won’t encroach on the barley whatsoever.

“I just don’t see what the problem is. People might think I have a big house but it is only three bedrooms. There’s not enough space for my son.”

He added: “I have a terminal illness and I need my family near me to help.”

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Mr Bow said he was considering an appeal to the Scottish Government’s Division of Planning and Environmental Appeals, adding: “ I just don’t think we had a fair hearing.”

Only three councillors were at the Development Management Committee meeting last week. A fourth joined remotely.

Another two were on holiday and a third is undergoing training to sit on the committee.

Conservative group leader Damian Doran-Timson had spoken up for Mr Bow at the meeting, suggesting that some leeway be given to the proposals, but he had no-one to back up an amendment against the Labour motion to support planners.

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One of Mr Bow’s local councillors is fellow Conservative, Broxburn’s Angela Doran-Timson. She told the LDRS: “ I don’t think Gordon got a fair hearing because there were so few councillors at the meeting.”

The councillor referred to an application for a solar farm near Kirknewton. Damian Doran-Timson had to withdraw from the meeting because he had voiced an opinion. His inability to take part rendered the meeting inquorate, meaning there were not enough councillors to make a decision.

That hearing has now been delayed until September when it will be debated by the full council. It is thought to be the first time the DMC has had to refer a matter to full council for that reason.

A spokesperson for the council told the LDRS: “Except where required for regulatory committees, the main school holiday periods are avoided when scheduling meetings.

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“The Development Management committee does not go into recess during the summer period as we have a legal obligation to process planning applications in a timely manner.

“The council’s Standing Orders sets out the minimum number of elected members that must be present to ensure that meetings are quorate and that business can be transacted. The Development Management committee was quorate with three members present when this decision was made.”

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Southern Water former chief executive faces up to 10 years in jail as he is charged with fraud conspiracy over ‘plan to manipulate water quality tests’

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Matthew Wright has been charged alongside three other former employees at the firm, the Environment Agency said

The former chief executive of Southern Water faces up to ten years in prison after being charged with conspiracy to defraud over an alleged plot to manipulate water quality tests to avoid millions of pounds in penalties.

Matthew Wright, who was the CEO of Southern Water from 2011 until the end of 2016, has been charged alongside three other former employees at the firm, the Environment Agency said.

It is alleged that between January 1, 2012 and December 31, 2017 the men conspired to defraud the Environment Agency and Ofwat, the water regulator, by manipulating water quality compliance testing. 

This involved ensuring there was not adequate water flow through sites for sampling when bosses believed water quality tests would be failed.

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The Environment Agency previously asked a judge to issue a summons against Wright, as well as Philip Barker, Clive Massey and Mark Gregory, who also worked at the company.

The summons was issued last year but Wright then launched a legal challenge over the move, with his lawyers telling the High Court in June that the Agency did not have the power to issue it and that it should be thrown out as a ‘nullity’.

On Wednesday, two senior judges dismissed Wright’s claim, and ruled that restrictions previously preventing reporting of the legal challenge should be lifted.

The offence of conspiracy to defraud carries a maximum jail term of ten years in prison.

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Lawyers for Wright said he ‘denies all wrongdoing and has cooperated fully with the Environment Agency’s investigation’. 

Matthew Wright has been charged alongside three other former employees at the firm, the Environment Agency said

It is alleged that between January 1, 2012 and December 31, 2017 the men conspired to defraud the Environment Agency and Ofwat, the water regulator, by manipulating water quality compliance testing (Pictured: Margate waste water site)

It is alleged that between January 1, 2012 and December 31, 2017 the men conspired to defraud the Environment Agency and Ofwat, the water regulator, by manipulating water quality compliance testing (Pictured: Margate waste water site)

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Separate court listings show that the case against 61-year-old Wright, of Haslemere, Surrey, Barker, 58, of Chiltington, West Sussex, 65-year-old Massey, of Brandhill, Shropshire, and 64-year-old Gregory, of Southampton, were scheduled to be heard at Medway Magistrates’ Court on July 14.

The four are accused of conspiring to ‘defraud persons performing public duties in respect of environmental and financial regulation’ of Southern Water, including the EA and Ofwat, by ‘the implementation of artificial no-flow events at waste water treatment works’.

Southern Water has separately been charged with dozens of offences of failing to comply with or contravening an environmental permit condition between 2013 and 2017 at multiple wastewater treatment works.

Three further people will also face charges linked to failure to comply with or contravening environmental permit conditions.

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Terry Stephens, 68, of Waterlooville, Hampshire, is charged with one count, alleged to have taken place in 2015.

David James, 60, of Worthing, West Sussex, is also charged with one count, alleged to have taken place in 2016.

Mark Butler, 47, of Hassocks, West Sussex, is charged with eight counts, alleged to have taken place between 2015 and 2024.

Wastewater treatment works can only be run with an environmental permit issued by the EA.

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Treated effluent discharge from the works is tested under an ‘operator self-monitoring’ (OSM) scheme introduced in 2009, which sees discharges tested annually in unannounced visits.

The tests are carried out by sampling teams, which operate separately from teams that run the works.

The results of the tests are shared with the EA and water regulator Ofwat, and can lead to penalties if the works do not comply with the terms of their permits.

If the discharge flow at the time of the test is insufficient to take a sample, this is not regarded as a fail, and no samples are taken for the rest of the testing period.

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Rules around OSM have been tightened in the past year, including that samples must be rescheduled in the event that the flow is insufficient, with the current Labour government pledging to end the practice.

In his ruling issuing the summons against the four men last year, District Judge Stephen Leake said: ‘The agency alleges, in the present case, that there was a deliberate plan by officers of the company to manipulate the OSM regime by contriving operational circumstances so that there was no flow through the relevant site at times when it was believed that the site would, or might, fail the OSM test, in order to avoid the consequences of the true OSM result being provided to the agency and Ofwat.’

But lawyers for Wright told the High Court that the EA only has the power to bring private prosecutions for environmental offences, not those such as fraud or conspiracy.

Barristers for the EA said that the body had a general power to bring private prosecutions, and alternatively that allegations of conspiracy to defraud were connected to its functions.

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Massey, Gregory and Barker did not appear at the hearing in London and were not represented.

Lord Justice Popplewell, sitting with Mr Justice Hilliard, ruled on Wednesday that the EA only being able to prosecute environmental offences would ‘produce unreasonable and anomalous results’.

He continued that the law ‘enables the EA to prosecute for any offence of any nature in circumstances in which such a prosecution is capable of being calculated to facilitate, or conducive or incidental to, the carrying out of any of its functions’.

In the 48-page judgment, the senior judge continued that the charge against Wright involves ‘very serious allegations of criminal misconduct’.

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He said: ‘What is alleged … involves carefully planned and extensive fraud and dishonesty at a high level within the company and on a large scale, including, for example, arranging for wastewater to be removed from facilities by tankers in order to create no flow results, with a view to covering up pollution and deceiving those whose function is to protect the public from such harm.

‘The EA says that by the company’s own assessment, it avoided penalties of the order of £45 million, and on the EA’s assessment the figure is higher.’

Following the judgment, an EA spokesperson said: ‘We can confirm that we are taking criminal proceedings against Southern Water Services Limited and a number of former employees.

‘We take our responsibility to protect the environment very seriously and will always pursue and prosecute those alleged to have committed serious offending against the environment. We welcome this important judgment.’

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An Environment Agency spokesperson said: ‘We can confirm that we are taking criminal proceedings against Southern Water Services Limited and a number of former employees.

‘We take our responsibility to protect the environment very seriously and will always pursue and prosecute those alleged to have committed serious offending against the environment. We welcome this important judgment.’

Environment Secretary Angela Eagle said: ‘The public are rightly sick of environmental pollution – and attempting to cover it up is outrageous. Anyone found guilty of this crime will face the full force of the law. 

‘This government will always back tough enforcement action to protect our rivers, lakes and seas.

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‘We have already committed to ending the practice of operator self-monitoring to ensure this cannot happen again in the future.’

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Public urination reported among anti-social behaviour in Cambridgeshire city

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Cambridgeshire Live

The local council is looking into ways to crack down on anti-social behaviour after reports from locals

A council wants to crack down on anti-social behaviour after locals reported public intoxication and urination among other issues. Huntingdonshire District Council (HDC) is looking to put in place a Public Spaces Protection Order (PSPO) within the inner ring road of Huntingdon.

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A spokesperson for the council said: “Behaviours that have been concerning people local to the area include public intoxication, urination/defecation and intimidating behaviour such as, abusive and upsetting language, verbal abuse to visitor, businesses and residents and acting in a manner that causes alarm and distress.”

PSPOs aim to stop individuals and groups from committing anti-social behaviour in public. A PSPO would allow Huntingdonshire District Council to put restrictions and requirements in place, and any breaches of these are a criminal offence. Offenders could face fixed penalty notices (currently set at £100), or prosecution in criminal court.

A spokesperson for HDC said: “This proposed PSPO has been designed as a partnership response to the anti-social behaviour which has had a detrimental effect on the quality of life of those in the locality. The effect or likely effect of this anti-social behaviour is, or is likely to be, persistent or continuing in nature, is or is likely to be, unreasonable and justifies the proposed restrictions and requirements being imposed as part of a PSPO.

“The proposed restrictions and requirements are proportionate and necessary to prevent the anti-social behaviour from continuing, occurring or recurring. If the consultation is successful, the PSPO will be jointly enforced by Huntingdonshire District Council and Cambridgeshire Constabulary (Police).”

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It is proposed the PSPO would be in place for three years, with a review each year.

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Middleton incident LIVE as emergency services swarm town centre

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Manchester Evening News

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Jade Thirlwall hinted at split from boyfriend Jordan Stephens by sharing she’s ‘going through something privately’ weeks before it emerged the couple ‘ended their relationship’

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Jade Thirlwall appeared to hint at her split from boyfriend Jordan Stephens in a recent interview, weeks before it emerged their relationship was over

Jade Thirlwall appeared to hint at her split from boyfriend Jordan Stephens in a recent interview, weeks before it emerged that their relationship was over.

The former couple lived together and split their time between properties in London and Margate in Kent, but are said to have separated earlier this year.

Jordan, 34, has since wiped all trace of Jade, 33, from his Instagram and she has also removed all images of the singer from her own page.

Jade appeared to allude to her relationship woes in an interview last month, as she shared she was ‘going through something privately’.

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Speaking about writing her upcoming second album, the hitmaker said she was channelling anything that had happened in her life into her new music.

She said: ‘Right now, I don’t even know where it’s heading. I’m just writing stuff. Whatever I’m going through at the minute, like privately, I’m sort of putting pen to paper.’

Jade Thirlwall appeared to hint at her split from boyfriend Jordan Stephens in a recent interview, weeks before it emerged their relationship was over

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Jade told The Fader: ‘I think this is the exciting phase or the experimental phase, where you don’t know what it’s going to be yet. 

‘For me, that’s sometimes the most magical part as an artist when you’re writing music. Come and ask me in a few months’ time and we’ll see where we’re at.’

According to The Sun, Jade and Jordan remain close and friends are hoping for a reconciliation. They still follow each other on Instagram at the moment.

Sharing details on the alleged split, an insider told the publication: ‘Jade and Jordan had a very serious and loving relationship but recently they have had some frank discussions about their future and have decided to separate.

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‘It’s not been an easy time but they’ve both been throwing themselves into work.

‘Their friends adore them as a couple and are really hoping they get back together but it’s still very raw at the moment.’

The Daily Mail has approached Jade and Jordan for comment.

They notably failed to honour their sixth anniversary with a social media post, which they had previously done in the past.

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The singer, pictured with Jordan, appeared to allude to her relationship woes in an interview last month, as she shared she was 'going through something privately'

The singer, pictured with Jordan, appeared to allude to her relationship woes in an interview last month, as she shared she was ‘going through something privately’

Their last joint appearance was at the Brit Awards in February, but they have not been seen together since. 

Hinting at potential heartbreak while discussing working on her new album, Jade told Fader in June: ‘I’m just writing stuff. Whatever I’m going through at the minute, like privately, I’m sort of putting pen to paper.

‘I think this is the exciting phase or the experimental phase, where you don’t know what it’s going to be yet.’

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Jade, who attended bandmate Perrie Edwards’ wedding without Jordan this summer, shared photographs from a trip to Sri Lanka at the start of the year.

They met during lockdown through a series of Zoom dates.

She previously claimed finding love with Jordan during the pandemic was a ‘strange’ experience.

Jade said she hadn’t been ‘looking for anyone’ at the time as she was relishing her independence.

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Speaking in Metro’s Guilty Pleasures column at the time, she explained: ‘I ended up meeting someone in lockdown which is strange… I quite enjoyed doing it that way.

‘We had real dates and really got to know each other. I wouldn’t say I was looking for anyone at the time.

‘I was happy to be in lockdown because I am independent. I think you can still strive in your singleness in lockdown.’

Jade, who split from her ex Jed Elliott after three years together the July prior, said it was ‘really important’ to her to be with someone who supported her and felt she was a ‘good match’ with Jordan.

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Jordan is one half of pop act Rizzle Kicks, who first launched in 2008 until 2016, before breaking for a hiatus until 2024. 

Jordan also worked on Jade’s debut album That’s Showbiz Baby! which was released last year.

Jade said at the time: ‘I actually really didn’t want to date a musician. I’d done it previously; it never works out well. But it’s amazing now. We write together.

‘He’s on my album; I’m on his. Jordan’s on the backing vocals for Headache.’

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Readers blame council but also seek better shopping in York

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Readers blame council but also seek better shopping in York

The slump was worse than the national average and whilst provisional June figures tend to have York performing better than the national average, even if sales and footfall remain well down.

However, there is much support for the view that other factors are at play, such as the wider economy, a shift to online sales, and the city centre needing to improve its retail offer.

Both York BID and Cllr Pete Kilbane, executive member for economy at City of York Council have both cited these factors as they grapple with problems seeking solutions.

However, one reader pointed out that in his statement to the Press, Cllr Kilbane saying “there are significant factors beyond parking charges” it was “an admission that parking charges are a factor.” It was also “a factor the council can control” with it able to pull a lever “to at least help the situation somewhat.”

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Another reader told the Press: “I don’t shop or visit York because of parking charges even though it’s the town I was born in and lived in for thirty years.”

The May figures from York BID, which sparked the debate. The provisional figures are better. (Image: Pic supplied)

One said he used to go to the city centre on Saturdays for coffee and a shop when parking was cheaper, but they haven’t been since July, costing retailers £200 a month from themselves alone.

Another said: “If parking was cheaper more people would go into town and they’d have more money to spend in local businesses.”

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With one adding: “The incompetence of these people (councillors) is beyond belief, not seeing the reality of their decisions shows their arrogance and lack of understanding.”

However, the council had support from one reader for discouraging car use and encouraging more use of bikes and public transport.

They said: “This has made the city centre a much more pleasant place to be and is broadly similar to many historic cities in the UK and across continental Europe.”

Another said: “Car parking uses prime city centre land. I’m not sure why people who choose to park in the centre shouldn’t pay an appropriate rate. As well, it seems to me that the car parks are approximately as busy as ever.”

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Cllr Pete Kilbane says other factors are also causing a drop in sales and footfall. (Image: Pic supplied)

One reader called on retailers to look at the quality of the goods and services they were selling.

They said: “It’s tough to compete with the ever-increasing trend for online shopping but blaming car parking charges doesn’t cut the mustard.”

One reader, who lives on the edge of the city, said they used to go to the city centre every Friday to buy clothes and records, which was their highlight of the week.

They said: “But most of those shops have disappeared and haven’t been replaced. Instead, the city centre has seen a huge influx of coffee shops, cafés, bars, and restaurants.”

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Whilst there are plans to redevelop Coney Street and the Riverside area soon, its current appearance may be a deterrent.

Andrew Lowson, executive director of York BID, addressing the parking issue at the business group’s AGM last week. (Image: Darren Greenwood)

One reader said: “Walking up Coney St, and trying to spend a decent amount of money, particularly in clothes retail, is almost impossible.

“The street is full of tat and pop-up venues. Look upwards at the buildings, apparently grade 2. A shabbier street would be hard to find.”

Coney Street is set for a revamp soon, which our readers say is much needed. (Image: Pic supplied)

Either way, York BID has offered to help the city council come up with a solution, with executive director Andrew Lowson suggesting lower charges in quieter periods. Our readers suggest similar.

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One said: “Trial giving York residents a few hours free parking on quiet days – problem solved.”

Another agreed: “Give York residents an incentive to come in – free 4 hour parking on Monday mornings, free first hour other weekdays – I’d use it.”

And a word with the new occupants of Downing Street might also be needed.

One reader added: “High Parking charges always put people off but over the last 2 years the Labour government have taxed people so much they don’t have as much free cash to spend.”

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Chef Explains The Difference Between Chicken Strips and Tenders

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Chef Explains The Difference Between Chicken Strips and Tenders

Just when I think I have a half-decent grip on reality, it seems a social media post comes along to prove me wrong.

There was the Reddit post which taught me that bricked-up windows not only appear on some new-builds, but are meant to create a manufactured charm which is sometimes council-mandated.

Then came the X which led me to ask: wait, what do the non-fluffy parts of towels even do?

(An expert told us they’re called “dobby borders,” and help the towel’s structural integrity, give hotels space for branding, and make them easier to stack).

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And now, a post shared by Redditor u/NotBruceJustWayne to r/AskUK has led me down another rabbit hole.

“Is there a definitive difference between chicken strips and tenders?” they asked.

Chicken tenders and chicken strips are not the same

A top-voted comment under the post read: “Chicken tender is the pectoralis minor, the muscle part of the chicken breast. Chicken strips can be made up of meat from any part of the chicken.”

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Of course, that’s just a commenter’s opinion – but it seems they’re right.

The New York Times explains that chefs in the 1970s weren’t sure what to do with the pectoralis minor, which is “not used for walking or flapping the wings, so it is a very tender piece of meat.”

The weaker section of the breast sometimes fell apart from the rest of the section when it was butchered, the publication adds, which was annoying when frying or otherwise cooking chicken.

They claim chef Charlie Pappas was the first to fry the previously inconvenient part of the chicken breast on its own, calling the resulting food “chicken tenders.”

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Meanwhile, chicken strips are typically made from breast meat, but don’t have to be.

Sometimes, chicken strips are made from chicken tenderloin, but chicken tenders are never made from any other part of the breast.

People were pretty surprised by the news

If you’re surprised by the revelation, you’re not alone.

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“This is news to me,” u/NotBruceJustWayne commented under the original Reddit post.

“I always assumed it was just two names for the same thing,” u/AveryValiant added.

Some thought the confusion was heightened by American terms, though.

″‘Chicken tenders’ is the American term for what we’d call mini fillets,” u/SoggyWotsits opined.

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Still, I didn’t know those were different either (what does anything mean?!).

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Dylan McCrossan denies murdering dad-of-two Stephen Holmes

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Due to the outstanding issues including medical reports, Madam Justice McBride said it made no sense to set a date today for the trial to commence

A Strabane man appeared in court today where he denied murdering father-of-two Stephen Holmes.

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Mr Holmes, 31, passed away in hospital last February following an assault in a house in the Beechmount Village area of Strabane.

The man accused of his murder appeared in the dock of Belfast Crown Court today where he was flanked by two prison officers.

From Beechmount Village, Dylan McCrossan – whose brother is West Tyrone SDLP MLA Daniel McCrossan – confirmed his identity to a court clerk.

The 33-year old was then charged with murdering Stephen Holmes on February 8, 2025 and when asked how he pleaded, McCrossan replied “not guilty.”

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After his client was arraigned, a defence barrister told Madam Justice McBride a medic has been engaged to carry out an assessment and report on McCrossan.

The barrister revealed the doctor and McCrossan have met twice and that the “only matter” now delaying the report was that the medic “wants to explore the previous criminal record” of the accused.

He added that the doctor has “indicated to us that he will have the report with us within a matter of weeks once he receives that.”

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McCrossan’s barrister also told Madam Justice McBride that once the medical report is received, it may have a “potential knock-on effect in terms of the defence statement.”

In response, a Crown barrister told the Judge that the prosecution “may need” to instruct its own medical expert once the defence report has been received.

When Madam Justice McBride enquired about how long the trial is estimated to last, she was informed it will take between two to three weeks.

Due to the outstanding issues including medical reports, Madam Justice McBride said it made no sense to set a date today for the trial to commence.

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Instead, the senior judge said she would review the case on September 18 when there was a “possibility” of moving towards setting a date for the murder trial.

She also granted a defence request for McCrossan to appear via videolink for the review and following his arraignment, he was remanded back into custody.

No details concerning the fatal incident were aired today – but during a previous court hearing it emerged that Mr Holmes sustained what the PSNI described as “significant injuries” on February 3, 2025.

The Strabane man was initially taken to Altnagelvin Hospital in Derry before being transferred to the Royal Victoria Hospital in Belfast where he passed away on February 8.

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Trump sparks fear as he hands powerful nuclear technology to foreign power as Iran war spirals

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Donald Trump will allow Saudi Arabia to develop its own civilian nuclear program under a sweeping new deal as the Iran war spirals into the Red Sea

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Donald Trump will allow Saudi Arabia to develop its own civilian nuclear program under a sweeping new deal as the Iran war spirals into the Red Sea and oil races toward $100 a barrel.

The agreement is reported to be worth tens of billions of dollars and structured to give US companies a central role in building the kingdom’s uranium enrichment facilities on Saudi soil. 

Saudi leaders are said to have agreed only to limited international inspections of the sites. Those arrangements are intended to stop enriched fuel being diverted towards weapons. 

Some US lawmakers and Israeli officials have opposed the plan, fearing the Saudis could use a civilian program as a stepping stone to nuclear weapons. Trump has dropped the previous condition that any such deal be tied to Saudi recognition of Israel.

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Trump’s deal is expected to last 30 years and now heads to Congress, where opponents would need a veto-proof supermajority to block it.

The agreement is controversial in part because the US went to war with Iran to stop Tehran from enriching uranium for its own nuclear program.

It comes as the war widened this week, with Iranian-backed Houthi militants declaring a naval blockade of Saudi Arabia. The move threatens the Red Sea route through which the kingdom has been diverting millions of barrels of oil a day around the effectively closed Strait of Hormuz

Closing Bab al-Mandab as well could cut off a quarter of the world’s oil and gas supply. Heightened tensions in the Gulf pushed Brent crude to $95 a barrel by Wednesday morning, according to the New York Times.

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Donald Trump will allow Saudi Arabia to develop its own civilian nuclear program under a sweeping new deal as the Iran war spirals into the Red Sea

Iranian-backed Houthi militants declared a naval blockade of Saudi Arabia this week

Iranian-backed Houthi militants declared a naval blockade of Saudi Arabia this week

Trump's agreement is controversial in part because the US went to war with Iran to stop Tehran from enriching uranium for its own nuclear program

Trump’s agreement is controversial in part because the US went to war with Iran to stop Tehran from enriching uranium for its own nuclear program

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Under the terms of the pact, Riyadh would be barred from enriching uranium on its own, or with any other foreign partner, for a decade if Washington objects once a joint study is completed.

Saudi Arabia’s crown prince, Mohammed bin Salman, has previously vowed that his country would ‘without a doubt’ build nuclear weapons if Iran developed them.

The kingdom has faced mounting drone and missile attacks by Iran on its military and civilian infrastructure since Tehran’s war with the US resumed earlier this month. 

Saudi officials insist the program is strictly civilian and will allow the kingdom to power its homes with nuclear energy, freeing up more crude for export.

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The announcement landed as US forces completed an 11th consecutive night of strikes on Iran, with secretary of state Marco Rubio warning that Tehran was not taking peace talks seriously. 

Fighting reignited two weeks ago after ceasefire talks between the US and Iran broke down that triggered ten consecutive nights of strikes on regime targets.

The US is trying to cripple Tehran’s ability to menace commercial shipping through the Strait of Hormuz, a waterway that carries one-fifth of all global oil.

America accused Iran a few weeks ago of violating the Memorandum of Understanding by attacking oil tankers passing through the Persian Gulf.

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The US Navy has also hit back at Iranian aggression, reimposing a blockade on all of the regime’s ports and seizing several of its ships.

Iran, meanwhile, has responded by launching missile and drone attacks at Gulf nation water and power plants.

American troop deaths in the war have risen to 17 as nearly 100 US troops have been injured in Iranian strikes on bases across the Middle East over the past two weeks. 

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Plane passenger livid after traveller’s ‘annoying’ act ruins flight

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A passenger sparked fury on an early morning flight after refusing to comply with the rest of the people on the plane, and it made others wish they had the window seat

One traveller was left seething on an early morning flight when someone refused to comply with the rest of the cabin, leaving uncomfortable and wondering why they hadn’t booked the window seat for themselves.

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Many passengers know there’s an unwritten rule that if you’re on a morning or late-night flight, the cabin will be dimmed, and most people would like it kept that way. It’s good because people will be quiet, and you can get some sleep before you arrive at your destination. But recently, one flyer who sorted themselves with an aisle seat while travelling and was ready for a kip found their plans thwarted by an inconsiderate neighbour.

TikTok user @traveltaps questioned: “The negative of having an aisle seat is that I don’t control the window shades… and that sun is bright this morning! Ugh. Has this happened to you?”

Overlaying the footage, which depicted the aircraft cabin shrouded in darkness, they captioned: “When the entire plane created a calm, dark, sleepy atmosphere for this early morning flight.”

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Early Morning Flight Disrupted by Open Window Blind

They then revealed their particular row, adding: “Except my row.”

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The individual by the window wasn’t even engaged in activities requiring illumination, such as reading. They were simply disregarding the ambience maintained throughout the rest of the aircraft.

Numerous commenters suggested they ought to have packed a sleep mask if rest was their priority, and told them to “mind their own business”.

Social Media Debates Unwritten Airplane Etiquette Rules

One commenter posted: “If it’s the morning, the shade is up. Travel at night if you want a sleepy flight. It’s not every day I’m 30 thousand feet in the air, so I’m looking out the window.”

Another wrote: “I don’t get the window seat so I can look at a window shade for five hours.”

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Nevertheless, one viewer remarked: “People in the comments are annoyed, but you’re right. If you fly regularly, you know there’s an unspoken rule that on an early morning flight, windows should be down when the cabin lights are dimmed before breakfast or beverage service.

“If you don’t fly regularly, maybe look around and ask yourself why you’re the only one with the window open.”

Someone else concurred: “No this is so rude to me. As someone who flies often and on long hauls. Read the room. If no one else is smoking, then don’t pull a cig out. If everyone is taking their shoes off at the door, then take yours off too! Don’t be rude.”

What would you do in this situation? Let us know in the comments…

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