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Politics

Reform launch campaign to keep Starmer in office

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Nigel Farage and Keir Starmer

Nigel Farage and Keir Starmer

Reform UK has spent a considerable amount of time arguing that we need to get Keir Starmer out of office. Now, there’s a very real chance this could happen – specifically via the challenge from Andy Burnham. Because politics is a strange game, however, Reform is now doing everything it can to stop Burnham from winning – hence the party’s new campaign:

In other words, Reform is campaigning to keep Starmer in power.

Starmer in!

The first thing to note about the above is that Burnham and the suitcase seem to be on different horizontal planes. This is a nitpick, we know, but it does suggest Reform has hired a particularly lazy graphic designer (that or all the good ones refused to work with the party).

Getting to the important stuff, you’ll notice the suitcase lists all the places in which Burnham was rumoured to be running – specifically:

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  • Norwich South.
  • Rusholme.
  • Makerfield.

We know Burnham was rumoured to run in these constituencies because we closely follow politics; your average voter, however, will have zero idea what this is referencing. There’s also an easy comeback, because the following is the list of the constituencies where Farage ran to be an MP:

  • Eastleigh (1994).
  • Salisbury (1997).
  • Bexhill and Battle (2001).
  • South Thanet (2005).
  • Bromley and Chislehurst (2006).
  • Buckingham (2010)
  • South Thanet again (2015).
  • Clacton (2024).

And Farage really doesn’t like it when you point out that he lost in seven of these areas:

It’s ‘did you know Burnham was rumoured to run in Rusholme‘ versus ‘Farage has lost in more constituencies than a stinkbug has legs‘.

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Given this, you might say Farage is the worst person in the world to be making this argument. And the same is true of Reform’s other campaign ad, which is that Burnham will run ‘anywhere’:

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Funnily enough, there are eight segments on that wheel, which means you could literally assign one to each of the races Farage ran in.

Weak sauce

This all seems like fairly timid stuff from Reform. Early rumours suggested the party would focus on Burnham having previously voiced support for rejoining the EU. This would make sense, because the Makerfield constituency voted overwhelmingly to leave. The fact that Reform hasn’t jumped two-feet in on this suggests the party no longer thinks Brexit is the make-or-break issue it once was:

There are good reasons to criticise Burnham that Reform is ignoring. He’s already said Labour shouldn’t pursue proportional representation in this parliament, and there’s reason to suspect he wouldn’t pursue full re-nationalisation. Reform won’t pull him up here, however, because Farage & co. are all Thatcherite privatisation fetishists who want the scam to continue.

Featured image via Getty Images (Dan Kitwood) / Getty Images (WPA Pool)

By Willem Moore

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US and UK hollow out commitment to preventing civilian war casualties

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war casualties

war casualties

The US and UK have gradually hollowed out any commitment to preventing or recording civilian casualties in their wars. In the latest sign of imperial decay, the Pentagon has quietly shut down a program meant to prevent civilian deaths. The UK, as ever, are following suit.

The Guardian reported on 15 May:

A report released by the department’s inspector general concluded the US military no longer has the people, tools or infrastructure needed to comply with two federal statutes requiring it to maintain a functioning civilian casualty policy, and operate a Civilian Protection Center of Excellence (CP CoE).

The full report can be read in full here.

A similar process has been underway in the UK. As the Canary reported on 6 May:

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The UK military has no way of detecting civilian casualties in war, a new study shows. And even processes developed during the failed occupation in Iraq and Afghanistan have now been virtually abandoned.

War casualties further abandoned

The NGO Ceasefire said the UK military’s own internal review:

reveals that adequate systems to track, investigate and respond to civilian harm either do not currently exist in the UK, have fallen into disuse, are not built for modern warfare, and/or are not scalable for future wars.

This revelation comes shortly after it was announced that the UK’s Conflict and Security Monitoring Project for tracking civilian casualties in Gaza had been shuttered.

Hard-right US war secretary Pete Hegseth has made it clear he thinks the laws of war and rules of engagement are ‘woke’.

As Human Rights Watch (HRW) reported:

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[Hegseth] commented at a news conference on March 2, 2026, about “stupid rules of engagement,” suggesting that they may interfere with “fight[ing] to win.”

Drift into open barbarism

The Intercept’s Nick Turse has reported that in Iran, Yemen, Africa, and the Caribbean there have already been serious issues with casualty reporting. This appears to be due to severe cuts to the Pentagon’s Civilian Harm Mitigation and Response Action Plan, or CHMR‑AP.

As the Pentagon has starved the CHMR enterprise, the U.S. has killed more than 2,000 civilians across the world — from Latin America to Africa to the Middle East — during Trump’s second term.

UK NGO Action on Armed Violence (AOAV) said on 16 May:

For years, Britain and America have claimed that their militaries wage war ethically and with accuracy. Words like precision weapons, legal oversight and sophisticated targeting procedures were bandied around and, to be frank, they were done so with a sense of exceptionalism.

Adding:

They were meant to be the waging of ‘civilised war’ and they distinguished Western democracies from the indiscriminate violence they condemn in others. But two recent developments suggest that such a moral high-ground – for all of its fragility and questionable claim – is no longer being so brazenly claimed.

Needless to say ‘civilised war’ has still proven to have plenty of scope for massive violence and large-scale civilian deaths. The US and UK way of war – and the ‘liberal’ pretensions which ride with it – is shifting. From the war on terror, through Gaza, and now in Iran and elsewhere, accelerating imperial decay has pulled the humanitarian mask off – likely for good.

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Featured image via Getty Images/Tim Boyle

By Joe Glenton

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Should it be a crime to mock the burqa?

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Should it be a crime to mock the burqa?

The post Should it be a crime to mock the burqa? appeared first on spiked.

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Gaza-bound flotilla vessels seized by Israel, SOS calls go unanswered

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Israel seizes Gaza-bound flotilla vessels

Israel seizes Gaza-bound flotilla vessels

Israel’s genocidal military has seized multiple humanitarian vessels that were en route to Gaza as part of the Global Sumud Flotilla.

The first reports came in this morning, 18 May 2026. At the time of writing, the Global Sumud Flotilla’s social media account has posted one notification after another with footage of Israel’s illegal attacks and details of the volunteer crews. Each post comes with a maritime distress message, “SOS.”

Marus

Hunin

Al Khalasa

Ajjur

Tabariyya

Qazaza

Yazur

Dayr Tarif

Shatila

Kyriakos X, Tenaz

Al Qastal

And footage from various boardings was compiled into a single post:

Israel is a terror state. The UK and other western governments have citizens among the humanitarian volunteer crews, yet continue to remain silent. Including Keir Starmer, who has found time to post on X about golf, but not about Israel’s crimes against international and maritime law:

Featured image via the Canary

By Skwawkbox

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Israel attacks Global Sumud Flotilla yet again

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Global Sumud Flotilla boats sailing at twilight

Global Sumud Flotilla boats sailing at twilight

For the second time since the Global Sumud Flotilla launched last month, it has been illegally intercepted and boarded in international waters by Israeli forces. Of the 14 UK delegates, eight, at the time of publication, are confirmed as having been abducted. Their whereabouts and wellbeing are currently unknown.

At 8am BST on Monday 18 May, the Flotilla was 250 nautical miles from Gaza and roughly 75 nautical miles southwest of Cyprus when reports of interception began to come in.

Interceptions began with ribs (small military speedboats) approaching Flotilla vessels, followed by heavily armed Israeli soldiers forcing their way aboard. Communications were then invariably lost as Israeli soldiers smashed cameras and participants tossed their phones into the water.

This comes after a similar attack on Wednesday 29 April, less than three weeks ago, where 180 peaceful delegates were abducted and tortured. Two, Saif Abukeshek and Thiago Avila, were taken to Israel and subjected to brutal and inhumane treatment.

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After the extreme brutality of the previous attack we are deeply concerned for all Flotilla participants and demand the UK government and governments worldwide defend their citizens and condemn the Israeli regime’s illegal and shameful actions.

The Global Sumud Flotilla is a peaceful, non-violent response to the illegal Israeli siege on Gaza. The boats are carrying life-saving aid, including food, medicine, and children’s toys. The UK government must demand the release of abducted participants and facilitate the safe arrival of the Flotilla in Gaza.

A Flotilla spokesperson said:

The Israeli regime thinks it can intimidate us into giving up on our Palestinian cousins. But the resilience of the Palestinian people will never be broken, therefore our determination to reach them will never be broken.

We will break the siege, we will end the genocide, we will free Palestine.

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ICJP speaks out for Global Sumud Flotilla

The International Centre of Justice for Palestinians (ICJP) also condemned the interception. It called the action:

Yet another egregious violation of international law and a total disregard for the law of the sea.

The interception and unlawful detention of non-violent humanitarian activists, which included armed Israeli commandos climbing on to several boats, is an act of illegal piracy intended to maintain Israel’s genocidal and unlawful siege on Gaza.

The normalisation of the occupation and Israel’s total disregard for international law is a threat to everyone. At least eight UK citizens have reportedly been intercepted, including:

  • Esme Nickerson.
  • Hasnain Jafer.
  • Peter William Henderson.
  • Richard Johan Anderson.
  • Hugh Stuart Stirling.
  • Cerie Bullivant.
  • Dáša Raimanová.
  • Veronica Otero Guillen.

Israel’s recent detention of the flotilla’s leaders, Spanish national Saif Abu Keshek and Brazilian national Thiago Ávila, who were allegedly tortured and abused in Israeli detention, was yet another example in the long list of Israel’s acts of impunity that deliberately maintain its genocide in Gaza and brutal apartheid across occupied Palestine.

The Global Sumud Flotilla’s humanitarian missions have become a necessary act in the face of deliberate Israeli restrictions on the import of aid, critical spare parts, back-up generators and other equipment to Gaza. The UN says such missions are being continually undermined by Israel’s policies.

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Whilst Israel has intercepted the flotilla multiple times, some of the ships remain on their mission to deliver aid.

Órlaith Roe, ICJP’s public affairs and communications officer, said:

How many times must we say it – Israel’s interception and detention of humanitarian aid flotillas and their activists headed to Gaza is a total unlawful, illegal, and egregious violation of international laws.

The lack of any kind of meaningful response from international governments, whose citizens are continually detained and abused by Israeli forces who illegally board the boats in international waters, is astounding.

It is hard not to ignore the blatantly obvious double standards when it comes to humanitarian missions intended for Palestinians suffering under Israeli occupation, and those of other conflicts.

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Featured image via the Global Sumud Flotilla

By The Canary

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Restore Britain set sights on splitting Reform’s vote in Makerfield

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Nigel Farage and Rupert Lowe with a VS symbol between them

Nigel Farage and Rupert Lowe with a VS symbol between them

Restore Britain is a Reform UK breakaway party that targets voters to the right of Nigel Farage. While the party is yet to make a dent on national polling, it has taken numerous councillors from Reform. Now, it’s hoping to take a dent out of Reform’s polling in the crucial Makerfield by-election:

As we’ve reported, Restore has already prevented Reform from winning by opposing them – specifically in the Norfolk local elections.

Reform vs Restore

Restore was founded by Rupert Lowe following a falling out with Nigel Farage. As we reported:

The timeline of Lowe leaving Reform is messy. The TLDR is:

  • Lowe began criticising Farage (seemingly in coordination with Elon Musk).
  • Farage suggested Lowe wouldn’t be anywhere near office without Nigel’s cult of personality (a.k.a. Reform).
  • Reform suspended Lowe and reported him to the police for ‘verbal threats’ and “serious bullying” of female staffers.
  • Lowe described the accusations as “vexatious”.
  • Several months of back and forth ensued.

Lowe got Elon Musk in the divorce, with the South African billionaire posting favourably of Lowe:

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He’s posted less favourably of Farage:

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Notably, Musk and Farage entered into a war of words on 14 May:

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Lowe would start tweeting about running in Makerfield the same day:

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It’s likely that Lowe would have run in Makerfield regardless, because he hates Farage. Still, we’re sure it can’t hurt to be on the same side as a ruthless billionaire with his own social media network.

Let them fight

Lowe is seemingly convinced that his mostly-unknown party can win in Makerfield:

We’re not so sure, and we suspect most of their votes will come from people who get ‘Reform UK’ and ‘Restore Britain’ mixed up.

At the same time, if Restore do start to do well, we’re not sure Lowe will like that. For a start, it will mean the wider electorate get to learn that he once had his groundskeeper shoot his pet dog in the back of the head.

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Featured image via Getty Images (Dan Kitwood)

By Willem Moore

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Campaigners challenge Trump’s NHS drug price rip-off

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Trump raises champagne glass in China NHS drug price deal

Trump raises champagne glass in China NHS drug price deal

Patient-led campaign group Just Treatment and social justice organisation Global Justice Now have written to the UK government setting out why they believe it has acted unlawfully in pushing through changes to NHS drug price control frameworks. It’s the first stage of a legal challenge to a central pillar of the US-UK trade deal on pharmaceuticals.

A statutory instrument, which passed into law in April, gives ministers direct control over the key cost effectiveness threshold NICE uses to determine which medicines are routinely available on the NHS.

Trade deal impacts NHS drug price structure

The government needed this change to deliver on the promises it made to Donald Trump under the December 2025 trade deal on pharmaceuticals. It’s part of a package of changes that commits the UK to increasing NHS spending dramatically on patented medicines over the next 10 years.

But the letter (available here) sets out why the changes are unlawful. And it asks the government to revoke the legislation or face a court battle on the changes.

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The claimants believe that the changes effectively end NICE’s independence from political interference, leaving medicine prices subject to political lobbying by Big Pharma corporations and the US government.

They say this poses an existential risk to the UK’s careful framework of safeguards designed to protect patients and the NHS from the excessive pricing demands of the industry. Changes the government has committed to under the Trump deal are estimated to cost the NHS billions of pounds a year by 2035, and have been widely criticised by health experts.

Diarmaid McDonald, director of Just Treatment, said:

The government caved in to threats from Donald Trump and the pharmaceutical industry and signed a deal that experts say could cost the lives of over 300,000 NHS patients. That’s more excess deaths than COVID.

Worse still, they’ve refused to publish their own assessments of the damage the deal will do to the NHS, and they’ve used a parliamentary process designed to make it extremely difficult for MPs to properly scrutinise what they are up to.

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But we believe the process they have followed is unlawful, and we are ready to take them to court to defend NHS patients and our democracy.

Nick Dearden, Director of Global Justice Now said:

The government has tried to claim this is about improving outcomes for patients and accelerating access to medicines, but everyone knows this is a move forced on the government by Donald Trump and Big Pharma.

This is a government gambling with NHS patients’ lives in a geo-political game with Donald Trump. They risk sabotaging our carefully worked out mechanism for keeping a lid on Big Pharma’s overinflated prices, and they have done so without so much as a debate in parliament.

Rowan Smith, lawyer at Leigh Day, said:

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Our clients are deeply concerned about the impact the UK’s pharmaceuticals trade deal with the US could have on the price and availability of drugs and medicines.

They argue that new powers giving the health secretary direction over NICE in matters regarding cost effectiveness risk undermining an important and globally recognised health body, and could materially impact what drugs and medicines are available on the NHS.

In submitting this legal letter, our client hopes that the health secretary will consider revoking the new regulations enforcing this change.

Politicians across the board raising concerns

Parliamentarians have been trying to force a public debate on these changes, but the mechanism the government used to enact them, known as a negative statutory instrument, makes that kind of independent scrutiny almost impossible.

Nonetheless MPs and peers from Labour, Conservatives, SNP, Lib Dems, Greens, and Plaid Cymru, as well as two cross-party committees, have raised concerns.

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NICE should be independent of ministerial control, but the deal the UK signed with Trump included commitments to increase the cost-effectiveness thresholds it uses to determine if medicines are good value for money and so available for use on the NHS.

That required the government to legislate to give itself the power to force that change on NICE, and it has already used it to adjust the thresholds. But the letter asserts that the intention of the changes directly contradicts the primary legislation being amended and therefore should only be made using a new primary legislative process.

John McDonnell MP has been leading parliamentary efforts to secure scrutiny of the US-UK trade deal, and started a motion opposing the legislation enacting changes in NICE. He said:

The government has ridden roughshod over the democratic process, the views of MPs and Peers, and the lives of NHS patients to force through a deal with Trump that they claim is in the interests of the UK.

But they won’t publish anything to evidence their claims, and they won’t enable time for proper parliamentary debate on this. It is an extremely dangerous precedent and I hope the government backs down or the courts re-establish the democratic principles our parliament relies upon.

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The campaigners have set up a crowdfunder to cover the legal costs of the case, which needs to go to court within three months of the legislation coming before parliament.

Featured image via Alex Wong / Getty Images

By The Canary

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Teenage girl sexually harassed by adult ‘influencer’ at Unite the Kingdom rally

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EDobbin, shirtless with tattos along both arms (left) in his car speaking. He harrassed a teenage girl, 15, at a recent rally. Meanwhile, the second image shows Tommy Robinson (right) walking, wearing a suit

EDobbin, shirtless with tattos along both arms (left) in his car speaking. He harrassed a teenage girl, 15, at a recent rally. Meanwhile, the second image shows Tommy Robinson (right) walking, wearing a suit

A disturbing video from Tommy Robinson’s Unite the Kingdom rally in London has shown a grown man sexually harassing a teenage girl in front of her mother.

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The video above was filmed at the Unite the Kingdom rally last weekend. As the Canary reported, the rally was a hotbed of racism. On a positive note, however, it attracted fewer than half as many people as the 2025 event did. Let’s get that down to zero in 2027.

Teenage girl ogled by grown men

At the start of the video, ‘influencer’ EDobbin greets a trio of men in Union Jack suits before putting his arm around a passing child and describing her as “my little girlfriend”. After asking what her name is, the teenage girl’s mother said:

She ain’t no child bride.

When asked how old the girl is, the mother clearly answered “15”. Whoever captioned the video wrote “16”, which is the legal age of consent in the UK.

Suggesting that EDobbin definitely heard “15”, he responded:

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Fucking hell. How old are you really? Please, I’m going to go to jail in a minute.

After the mother and daughter walked away, EDobbin followed behind, shouting at the teenage girl:

Excuse me, my love. Can I get your details and see you?

The mother responded:

Absolutely not.

EDobbin wasn’t deterred and disgustingly replied:

Oh, mum. Mum, look at that.

By “that”, he meant the child he was sexually harassing — something he made clear by gesturing towards the teenage girl with his hand.

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He then said:

Fucking hell. You need a warning sign on you.

The girl’s mother responded again:

She’s got a mother, that’s enough.

EDobbin yelled back:

No, you’re too happy to be a barking one. Woof.

The mother and child were still walking away as this happened, clearly showing they wanted nothing to do with the freak.

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Who is EDobbin?

The loathsome harasser in the video is EDobbin, a man from Rochdale who displays the following information on his Instagram page:

🕵🏻‍♂️ – Truth seeker
🐲 – Mud Fossil student
🌎 – Flat Earth, Psalms 19:1
🧭 – Mindset Architect
🏘 – Property Landlord
🦾– Level 3 PT

‘Mud Fossil students’ are people who believe that mountains are the fossilised remains of dragons. This is odd, certainly, but not as bad as him being a landlord.

For one reason or another, he’s had multiple social media accounts banned:

@edobbin_real_one♬ original sound – EDobbin_Real_One

He’s currently touring gyms around the UK because he was banned from the JD Sports in Rochdale because it’s “the Year of the Horse”.

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@e_dobbin.live E dobbin KICKED OUT OF JD GYM #edobbin #gym #clip #fyp #meta ♬ original sound – E Dobbin Clips 🌍

As laughable as he is, what he’s doing in the video is a million miles away from funny. Being somewhat peculiar is no justification for behaving like an out-and-out paedophile, which is precisely what he did at the rally.

Predictable behaviour from Robinson allies

Of course, this sort of behaviour shouldn’t come as a surprise from an attendee of the Unite the Kingdom rally. Tommy Robinson and his lackeys like to present themselves as defenders of women, but the reality is a million miles away.

For instance, Robinson (real name Stephen Yaxley-Lennon) is friends with the alleged trafficker and rapist, Andrew Tate. He also ran defence for Tate when right-wing commentator Lauren Southern accused him of raping her.

As Hope not Hate reported:

Lennon has consistently ignored or even defended occurrences of [sexual exploitation] in his own ranks, proving that he is more concerned with attacking Muslims than actually combatting CSE or challenging sexual violence.

Notoriously, in June 2010 Lennon’s close friend and ally Richard Price was convicted of making four indecent images of children, and possessing cocaine and crack cocaine. The vile images were found on his computer by police after he was arrested for disturbances at an EDL demonstration.

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Far from condemning Price’s crimes, the EDL launched a campaign for his release. Lennon himself wholeheartedly supported Price, claiming he had been “stitched up” and that “Price has no idea how they were on his computer.” When Lennon’s claims became untenable, he switched positions and finally condemned him.

In other words, EDobbin is exactly the sort of degenerate you’d expect to find among these people.

Featured image via social media/ Leon Neal/ Getty Images

By Willem Moore

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Look Mum No Computer Speaks Out About Getting Zero Points From Eurovision Viewers

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Look Mum No Computer Speaks Out About Getting Zero Points From Eurovision Viewers

The UK’s Eurovision 2026 entrant has shared his take after failing to secure any votes from viewers at this year’s contest.

On Saturday night, Look Mum No Computer – the stage name of musician and YouTube personality Sam Battle – represented the UK at the contest in Vienna, Austria with his song Eins, Zwei, Drei.

In the end, the UK landed at the bottom of the leaderboard and, for the third year in a row, didn’t earn any points from viewers in the televote, meaning no competing countries had us in their top 10 acts.

Fortunately, Look Mum No Computer was spared the dreaded “nul points” as he secured one single point in the jury vote from Ukraine.

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During the announcement over the weekend, the UK’s act seemed to take the blow in his stride and laughed it off, and later posted about the result on Instagram on Sunday.

After celebrating that the “deserved winner” had ended up lifting the Eurovision trophy on the night, Look Mum No Computer said he’d “met a lot of amazing folk” during his experience at the contest, adding: “The most important thing is we all tried our hardest. Regardless of what is against us. Whatever it may be.

“Gotta keep trying your hardest regardless of the foooookennnn outcome!!!”

This year’s Eurovision was once again blighted with controversy due to Israel’s continued participation, despite the ongoing conflict in the Middle East, with five participating nations withdrawing from the 2026 contest in solidarity with Palestine.

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For the second year in a row, Israel’s participant finished in the runner up position during the live final, but it was Bulgaria’s Dara who came out on top by more than 170 points with her musical offering Bangaranga.

Bulgaria returned to Eurovision after a five-year absence in 2026, with Dara’s victory representing the country’s first ever win.

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Eurovision Ratings Drop In The UK Amid Boycott Calls Over Israel

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Eurovision Ratings Drop In The UK Amid Boycott Calls Over Israel

On Sunday morning, it was widely reported that the BBC’s broadcast of the Eurovision final had dropped around one and a half million viewers year-on-year, with 5.2 million Brits tuning in to watch live compared to 2025’s 6.7 million.

In fact, it was the lowest-watched final in more than 15 years, since 2010, according to the fansite Eurovoix.

HuffPost UK has contacted the BBC for comment.

Among these were Ireland, who holds the joint record for most wins at Eurovision, and Spain, who’d previously been part of the “Big Five” countries who contribute the most financially to the contest each year, and therefore don’t need to compete in the semi-final stages.

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This marked Bulgaria’s return to the contest after a five-year absence, and the first ever win for the country, as well as the first time the Eurovision jury and televote had chosen the same winner since 2017.

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Cannes Film Festival: Why Are There Standing Ovations And Why People Clap For So Long?

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Alexander Skarsgard in Cannes 2025

According to The Guardian, the applause following Pillion’s screening at last year’s Cannes Film Festival “lasted several minutes, with the inevitable awkwardness of seeming dutiful”.

The Alexander Skarsgård film is the norm, not the exception.

In 2024, Francis Ford Coppola’s Megalopolis reportedly got seven callous-inducing minutes of standing ovation. Guillermo Del Toro’s Pan’s Labyrinth managed to elicit a record-breaking 22 mins in 2006.

And Joachim Trier’s 2025 follow-up to The Worst Person In The World rivalled that, with the ovation for his latest film clocking in at almost 20 minutes.

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GQ has said in the past that, when it comes to applause at Cannes, “anything five minutes or less is a tepid – or worse – appraisal”.

But how did this palm prison get built, and what is its purpose?

Alexander Skarsgard in Cannes 2025
Alexander Skarsgard in Cannes 2025

Cannes’ standing ovations are part of an exhausting-sounding hierarchy

According to The Atlantic (who, like The Guardian, call the custom “awkward”), clapping at Cannes is part of the spectacle.

At the French festival in particular, the length and enthusiasm of the clapping is seen as a sign of who thinks which film will be the next “hit”.

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But the “pageantry” of standing ovations is fallible at best and unfairly, performatively biased at worst – for what it’s worth, Megalopolis was both critically panned and a box office flop.

Speaking to The Atlantic, professor Scott Page, who’s studied clapping as a form of social behaviour, said: “There is a real asymmetry to who has influence”.

You might be more inclined to partake in a quarter-hour of palm-smashing if someone you really respect and admire is doing so beside you, he suggested.

He added that “if you’re not sure” about a film, and “you think the other people [around you] are smarter than you, then you are going to stand… I imagine Cannes to be a place [where if I ask myself,] ‘How confident am I, sitting near movie stars and directors?’”

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The answer, he says, is likely to be “not very”.

Also, I can’t imagine the panic of being the first person to stop applauding, say, a Del Toro film in front of the man himself – peer pressure and etiquette pile up.

The applause length is a marketing tool, too

Speaking to Screen Daily, Barry Hertz, film editor and critic for Canadian national newspaper The Globe and Mail, says that the length of applause a film got at Cannes can sometimes be seen as an interim star rating system until its release.

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“Instead of a film getting four stars, it got a ’10-minute standing ovation,’” he says.

But though an anonymous film PR told the publication that “nobody is taking it seriously,” Kent Sanderson, president of indie film distributor Bleecker Street, doesn’t think Cannes’ applause sessions are going anywhere fast.

“It’s a self-perpetuating machine between the festival, the trades and the audiences,” they commented.

The more the Cannes audience claps, the more it’s noted that they clap, the more expected long clapping sessions become; so, it becomes both a sign of disdain and proof of not being “in on” the festival’s culture not to do so.

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I’d call it a vicious cycle, but it’s literally already a shoulder-aching, barbed, endless round…

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