Politics
Top Pollster Burnham Should Seek Election To Beat Farage
Andy Burnham should call a general election by early next year “at the latest” so Labour can defeat Nigel Farage and all-but kill off the Tories, according to a Theresa May’s former pollster.
James Johnson of JL Partners said the prime minister will never have a better opportunity to capitalise on the deep splits on the right of British politics.
He said even Lib Dem and Green “would rally around” Burnham if it was a straight fight for No.10 between him and Farage, which could hand Labour a Commons majority of more than 90 seats.
Writing in The Times, Johnson, who was former Tory PM May’s senior opinion research and strategy adviser, said: “The prime minister has ruled out calling an ‘early election’.
“But I believe a combination of factors mean Andy Burnham should go for a general election this year or, at the latest, early next.”
He said Labour “could quite easily win a sizeable majority” on just 30% of the vote, which would be even less than the 34% the party received at the last general election.
“It is the left uniting behind Burnham that would get him there,” he said. “He has far higher approval ratings than Starmer did among Green and Liberal Democrat voters.
“And there is one man wavering voters on the left fear more than any Tory: Farage.”
Johnson added: “A recent YouGov poll found that while Burnham has a 12-point advantage over Badenoch for who would make the best PM, Burnham is seen as a better PM than Farage by a 26-point margin.
“Among Green voters, Burnham has a 70-point advantage, among Liberal Democrats a 72-point advantage. They would rally around Burnham come a contest for the future of the country.”
Amid speculation that Farage may stand down as Reform leader before 2029, the latest point at which an election must be held, Johnson said Burnham should go to the country now.
He said: “Farage remains Reform’s best asset and if Farage goes, Reform goes with him.
“Rather than fight a resurgent Badenoch with a more united right in such a situation in 2029, Burnham would do better to use his Goldilocks moment.
“Farage is not too strong nor too weak — he is strong enough for Burnham to engineer a two-horse race but can be beaten.”
The pollster said that in such a scenario, Reform would win more than 100 seats – way up on the five MPs they returned in 2024 – but the Tories would slump from 121 seats to fewer than 100.
“Given the circumstances, it would also be a stonking result for Labour and could lead to a majority of more than 90 seats,” he said.
“If he throws the dice nationally, there are good odds he will win a large majority of his own, escape the manifesto trap he faces and scatter his opponents.
“Given the split on the right, he faces a unique set of circumstances. He would have not only his best shot at power but could relegate the Conservatives to a state of near-extinction.
“For a man built on Labour traditions, is there any stronger temptation than that?”
Listen to Commons People, the podcast that makes politics easy. Every week, Kevin Schofield and Kate Nicholson unpack the week’s biggest stories to keep you informed. Join us for straightforward analysis of what’s going on at Westminster.
Politics
The Four Seasons: Film That Inspired Tina Fey Series Comes To Netflix
In the last couple of years, Tina Fey’s heartwarming comedy The Four Seasons has become one of Netflix’s most popular new original series.
The show recently premiered its second run of episodes, once again centring on a year in the lives of a tight-knit group of devoted friends.
Netflix has already confirmed that the series – which stars Tina alongside the likes of Will Forte, Kerri Kenney-Silver and Oscar nominee Colman Domingo – has already been renewed for a third season, in which new addition David Tennant is expected to be boosted to the main cast.
Fans are in for a bit of a wait until then, though, with seasons one and two debuting in May 2025 and May 2026, respectively.
However, there’s been an addition to Netflix this week that could well help tide viewers over.

Emily V. Aragones/Netflix © 2025
What you might not realise is that The Four Seasons is actually a reworking of a popular film from the early 1980s, directed and written by Alan Alda, who also stars as its lead.
Earlier this week, the film The Four Seasons began streaming on Netflix UK, offering many viewers the chance to check out the source material that inspired Tina’s Emmy-nominated series.
Co-creator Lang Fisher previously told Netflix that when she and Tina first began collaborating, the 30 Rock star “kept saying, ‘I want it to be like The Four Seasons’”.
“Finally we were like, ’Should we just watch The Four Seasons?’ We did, and then we were like, ‘Oh, we should just do that movie’,” she recalled.
In fact, Alan even had a small cameo in season one, sharing the screen with Tina and Colman.
Tina enthused at the time: “He’s fantastic. His timing is as incredible as it ever was. He looks so handsome.”
“Over the years I’ve been lucky enough to be able to tell Alan Alda in person how much I love the movie, and also [his Four Seasons co-star] Carol Burnett,” she added. “They both were kind of like, ‘That’s weird because you were 10. This movie wasn’t really intended for you.’
“Alan Alda was very generous in giving us his blessing early on to develop this. I think he was excited that it was coming back to life. It was obviously a project that was near and dear to him.”
Politics
Politics Home | PM “Increasingly Confident” PC Harper’s Killers Will Not Be Released Early

Andy Burnham visits The Hub cafe in Derbyshire as part of his tour of the UK. (Alamy)
2 min read
Prime Minister Andy Burnham has said he is “increasingly confident” that plans to free up prison spaces will not mean the early release of PC Andrew Harper’s killers.
Burnham said on Tuesday that he had asked Justice Secretary Alex Norris to find ways of exempting more of the most serious criminals from the government’s early release scheme.
Speaking in Derbyshire this morning, the PM said: “I don’t want to see a single prisoner released early, and that’s the spirit that I’ve brought to the first three weeks that I’ve served as Prime Minister, and I’ve always worked like that.
“I’m confident that there’s more that can be done, and will be done to address public concern.”
Burnham has said that options on the table to create additional space in the prison system include quicker removal of foreign national offenders, releasing lower-risk prisoners serving indefinite sentences, and making better use of Britain’s prison capacity, including using female prisons for male offenders.
“I have spent recent days considering in depth all of the issues involved and the range of advice I have received. I have been pushing for further progress. I have not accepted that it is impossible to do more,” said Burnham.
Norris is expected to present proposals to Parliament in early September.
The new Labour government is coming under pressure to ensure that Jessie Cole and Albert Bowers are not released early as part of efforts to relieve pressure on prison capacity.
The pair, who were sentenced to 13 years for manslaughter in 2020, were due to be freed in January after serving around half of their sentences.
“I’ve heard the depth of concern felt across the country about the potential release of the killers of PC Andrew Harper. I feel for the family and the anguish that they’re going through,” Burnham has said.
The government has already announced that murderers, rapists and child sex offenders, including grooming gang perpetrators, would be exempt from the scheme.
However, the Harper case has put pressure on ministers to go further, following criticism from his relatives and friends.
At the same time, the government is trying to make sure that prisons in England and Wales do not run out of space amid recent warnings that the estate is close to reaching full capacity.
Politics
The House Opinion Article | How to read the Clacton by-election result

5 min read
For a man who wants to be prime minister, Nigel Farage’s most important audience is the watching country, not the residents of Clacton.
Even as someone who has written about blue and red walls, I have long thought we should think slightly less about geographical divisions when considering the electorate than we sometimes do.
As I’ve said previously, the average Labour voter in Makerfield is substantively demographically the same as the average Labour voter in Hastings. The media’s desire for narrative contrast between different parts of the country is often not the friend of clear-eyed analysis.
Clacton, however, is one of the places where it is safer to make decisive claims. It is one of the most right-leaning seats in the country.
The useful thing in electoral analysis is often not vote share by party, but vote share by bloc: that is, how much of a constituency voted for progressive parties (in England: Labour, Liberal Democrat, Green) and how much for parties of the right (Conservative, Reform, or more latterly, Restore Britain). In our current system, tactical voting and bloc efficiency are the operative question in many races. This is how Labour managed to lose so many seats to Reform at the locals, while losing much more of its vote to the Greens.
The combined right bloc in Clacton at the last election was just under 75 per cent. For comparison, in Makerfield in 2024, the combined Reform and Tory vote was 42.7 per cent, and in Conservative leader Kemi Badenoch’s North West Essex seat, it was 49.7 per cent. There is no way for progressive parties to bloc efficiency their way out of that number in Clacton, as reflected in the fact that while Labour chose to stand a candidate in 2024, the party put in no meaningful resources.
It is just one of the most right-wing seats in the country. That is why Nigel Farage chose to stand there, why he won in 2024, and why he felt confident enough to call the by-election taking place this week. No by-election comes with zero risk – roughly comparable self-triggered by-elections include David Davis’s successful tilt for civil liberties in 2008, and Zac Goldsmith’s unsuccessful 2016 run as an independent in Richmond Park – but the actual risk of Farage losing his seat is negligible. As gambles go, it’s a very controlled one. As such, looking at the victor will tell us fairly little.
Farage needs to be winning Clacton with percentages more familiar in countries with managed democracies, and even if he does, it frankly won’t tell us a huge amount about the party’s ability to appeal beyond its base
However, there are still some things to remember when looking at the tallies.
Reform has underperformed its national polling in by-elections this Parliament. It won in Runcorn, but only by a handful of votes, when national polling would have suggested it should have been on firmer territory. The result in Makerfield was similar: a by-election in a seat 29th on the target list is a must-win for an aspiring party of government. Again, considering that governance ambition – to win at least 326 seats at the next election and preferably more – Farage needs to be winning Clacton with percentages more familiar in countries with managed democracies, and even if he does, it frankly won’t tell us a huge amount about the party’s ability to appeal beyond its base. The only polling out at the time of writing is from Survation, which suggests he will get 73 per cent to Binface’s 20 (in a result influenced by the very large number of candidates, none representing the major parties), on a very low turnout indeed. Failure to perform at this level may suggest an enthusiasm issue for Farage.
That same polling from Survation also suggests that people in the constituency are, generally, aware of what the by-election’s cause is (the £5m is the most popular answer to the question, what is the by-election about). At Persuasion, we test what messages work and don’t work for and against political parties. When it comes to Reform, messages about how it is just like the Tories are among those that fall flat, while the ones that consistently cause damage to the brand are those which focus on self-enrichment, corruption, or more generally a sense that Farage and his party are not on the side of ordinary people. Most relevantly in this instance, voters are more likely to think ill of Reform after being exposed to messages about crypto donations.
While those Farage is hoping will mark their ballots for him in Clacton this week are not swing voters, many likely to see coverage of the contest are. When Davis and Goldsmith made their respective gambles, they were gambling primarily with their constituents.
As the leader of a party, and a man who hopes to be resident in Downing Street before the decade is through, Farage’s bet can’t help but include a wider audience. Our research would suggest that in fighting a contest over crypto donation allegations, the Reform leader has not picked the best ground on which to appeal to the broader audience the by-election brings in.
Steve Akehurst is the director of Persuasion UK
Politics
James Norton Addresses House Of The Dragon Season 3 Finale Scene
This article contains major spoilers for the latest episode of House Of The Dragon.
House Of The Dragon actor James Norton has weighed in on how things played out for his character in the season three finale.
James joined the cast of the Game Of Thrones prequel as Lord Ormund Hightower in its third outing, with the character meeting his end as season three drew to a close, being first stabbed in the bum (ouchie) and then burned to a crisp by a dragon (double ouchie) during an epic battle sequence.
Speaking to Variety in an interview published after the finale aired, James insisted that it was a “lot of fun” to shoot his character’s “big, delicious death”.
“Before I read the script, there was a lot of chatter around how it was going to happen,” he claimed.I” knew it was going to be very different from the books. It happens a lot with this show where they push it to the extreme. When they realise where the boundary is, they pull it back a bit.
“So there was originally a version where Ormund gets impaled like 20 times, and then we’re like, ‘That’s probably a little too much!’.”
James praised the “odd intimacy” in Ormund and Roddy the Ruin dying together and being “preserved”, comparing their fate to “the graves when you find these couples intertwined”.
“These incongruous people end up dying in the same dragon fire and looking the same way in a strangely intimate sort of pose,” he said.
He also admitted it was “bittersweet” to be saying goodbye to House Of The Dragon after having such a “really lovely time” shooting his character’s arc, and praised the fantastic work of his colleagues across all departments.
He also claimed: “In a way, Ormund wouldn’t have been so delicious were he to have survived. I don’t think the show would have allowed me to be as brave and courageous and given me such license to be as playful because that type of character can tire, probably. There’s less places for him to go.
“It was inevitable, I imagine. The way his character was developed and allowed to be big and breathe, taking risks only happened because they knew he was not going to survive. So it was a blessing and a curse. It’ll be weird when they go back to shoot the next season and I won’t be there. But I’m so grateful that I got to come in and have this big showy moment and ludicrous memorable death…”
Besides Ormund, Phia Saban’s Helaena Targaryen also met her end in the latest House Of The Dragon finale, describing her character’s demise as an “honour”.
House Of The Dragon’s fourth and final season is likely to premiere in 2028. Before then, there’s plenty more to look forward to from the Game Of Thrones universe.
Politics
Nigel Farage Slaps Down Zia Yusuf Over Traitor Label
Nigel Farage has slapped down Zia Yusuf after he described a former Tory cabinet minister who served in the Army “a traitor to Britain”.
The Reform UK leader said his home affairs spokesman’s comments about Ben Wallace were “over the top”.
Farage told The Sun: “That is too strong a language. I shall give him a ticking off, don’t worry.
“I’ll speak to him today, but it’s over the top.”
His comments come after a senior Reform figure said Yusuf’s remarks were “inappropriate and counter-productive”.
Tim Montgomerie – a leading political commentator who quit the Tories to join Reform – said Yusuf’s language “isn’t acceptable”.
Yusuf hit out at Ben Wallace after he criticised Reform’s plan to fix the shortage of prison spaces by sending foreign criminals abroad.
Writing on X, he said: “Incredible that this moron was defence secretary.
“Our policy today is in direct response to your government’s failures.
“If their home countries won’t take back, their citizens that are languishing in our jails, we are renting spaces in countries like El Salvador to put them.
“They will serve their full jail terms there, and will be banned from ever coming back to Britain.
“They may well include some of the thousands of Afghans you imported, including those who had not been vetted properly and including Taliban fighters (!).
“You know, the ones you took a super injunction out to keep secret from the British people? That’s why I call you a traitor to Britain. You fit the dictionary definition.”
Yusuf’s tweet remains up on his X feed, as does a poll in which he asks if Wallace should be “prosecuted for treason”.
The row once again highlights the tensions at the top of Reform, which has seen its poll lead over Labour disappear in recent weeks.
Listen to Commons People, the podcast that makes politics easy. Every week, Kevin Schofield and Kate Nicholson unpack the week’s biggest stories to keep you informed. Join us for straightforward analysis of what’s going on at Westminster.
Politics
Best School Stationery And Pencil Cases For Back To School 2026
Despite our best intentions, all the preparation at the school year soon unravels into chaos.
One pen in the bottom of the bag, lost water bottles, and torn backpacks.
But that doesn’t mean there isn’t value in being as prepped as possible at the beginning of the school year.
And there’s nothing better than a fully stocked pencil case to get your little one in the right mindset for the year of learning ahead.
Don’t worry, though, you won’t have to trawl between sold out TG Jones, TX Maxx, and Ryman on the high street this year.
We’ve rounded up the very best pencil cases, pens, stationery sets, and highlighters to save yourself time.
And honestly, it’s a great year for stationery: each year brands continue to top themselves. Stand outs this year include glitter highlighters (I would’ve been all over these at school and, um, now), Maped’s Kidy Learn Concentration set, which contains spinnable and touchable rulers and pens for kids that struggle to focus in class, and erasable coloured pencils.
Of course, there are also some excellent pencil cases in there. But if you want to minimise the chances of having to re-purchase everything on this list, we highly recommend buying yourself a Cricut so you can make personalised stickers and decals to plaster all over your little one’s belongings. You’re welcome!
Politics
Jason Isaacs Addresses The Salt Path Controversy For The First Time
Jason Isaacs has shared his take on the controversy surrounding the source material for his film The Salt Path.
Last year, the White Lotus star shared the screen with Gillian Anderson in the big-screen adaptation of Raynor Winn’s book of the same name.
However, months after its release, The Salt Path faced scrutiny in the media after The Observer published a piece casting doubt on some of the claims in the book, which had been marketed as a memoir.
Last week, Jason was a guest on the podcast Kermode On Film, where he was asked about the movie’s impending US release.
“It’s going to be interesting doing publicity for The Salt Path now that there’s been [renewed scrutiny],” the always-candid British actor claimed.
He went as far as questioning whether the team behind the film’s US release actually wanted him to do any promotion for it, to which they responded: “Absolutely.”
“I went, ‘OK, yeah, fine’,” he claimed, maintaining that The Salt Path is a “beautiful film” and that “much of it is still completely valid”.

“Obviously, some of the things have been questioned,” he added, conceding that promoting it will no doubt be an “interesting experience”.
Just days later, Gillian also spoke about the Salt Path backlash for the first time, calling the debacle “very unfortunate”.
“The film was doing really well in the UK – beyond my expectations,” she told Radio Times. “I think we were about to sign with Sony Classics for the United States the week when the article came out, so it sucked, and continues to suck.”
Like Jason, she claimed that the film is “special in its own right”, insisting: “I hope people are able to experience it as its own entity, separate from what may or may not be true or whatever controversy there is.”
In Raynor Winn’s first Salt Path book, she claimed that she and her husband Moth had walked the 600-mile length of the South West Coast Path after being made homeless.
She also discussed Moth’s struggles with the neurodegenerative disease corticobasal degeneration (CBD), which he was diagnosed with shortly before the couple lost their home, in her writing.
However, The Observer’s piece raised questions about a number of parts in the book, including exactly what led to the couple being made homeless, and specific parts of Moth’s illness.
At the time, the writer’s legal team provided a statement to The Observer, which read: “The Salt Path lays bare the physical and spiritual journey Moth and I shared, an experience that transformed us completely and altered the course of our lives. This is the true story of our journey.”
The Telegraph also published a longer version of this statement, which added: “[The] Observer article is highly misleading. We are taking legal advice and won’t be making any further comment at this time.”
Politics
14 Of The Best (And Worst) Plants In A Heatwave
Parts of the UK are right on the brink of their sixth heatwave, and brown grass carpets much of the south. (Luckily, that doesn’t mean your lawn’s died).
Still, that, alongside hosepipe bans, has had a knock-on effect on gardeners. Writing to Reddit’s r/GardeningUK forum, posters shared their “heatwave casualties” and outright deaths.
But other Redditors were surprised to see that certain species, like lavender, seemed to thrive.
So what should we plant going forward?
We’ve written before at HuffPost UK about how to drought- and heatwave-proof your garden for 2027.
If you’re looking for specific species, however, the Royal Horticultural Society (RHS) conducted an Extreme Heat Survey this July, “painting a clear picture that even established, formerly healthy plants could not cope with the searing temperatures, which reached well above 30°C.”
They received responses from over 8,000 UK gardeners who’d just been battling with weeks of unprecedented dry weather and drought.
Which plants fared the worst in a heatwave?
Per the RHS’ data, the “losers” in extreme heat were:
- Hydrangea
- Acer
- Fuchsia
- Astilbe
- Roses
- Anemone
- Ferns
- Heuchera
- Phlox
- Crocosmia.
However, while crocosmia might show damage early on, that doesn’t mean it’ll be hurt in the long run.
Leigh Hunt, the RHS’ principal horticultural advisor, said: “As temperatures become more extreme don’t replace like for like – if a plant is struggling in your garden you can plant something better suited to the space.”
Right – so what should I consider replacing them with?
The RHS also ran a separate (unexpected) trial in their own Wisley garden.
The area went without rain for almost six weeks, and gardeners took note of what survived.
- Persian roses
- Baptista
- Wild carrots
- Crape myrtles.
Other drought-tolerant plants include lavender, rosemary, and grasses like Festuca arundinacea.
BBC Gardeners’ World said geums, hardy geraniums, bearded irises, nepeta, sea hollies, and sedums can flourish in dry weather too.
Politics
The 11 Best Male Masturbators, Strokers, Blowjob Machines And Vibrators
Whenever you think of vibrators, we’ll hazard a guess that you picture a clit vibrator.
While the sex toy market has, admittedly, for the most part been tailored towards women, there are plenty of exciting sex toys for men and people with penises out there, too.
The most common of them all is the male masturbator. No prizes for having heard of Fleshlights – perhaps the most popular in the category – but there are also tons that rotate, thrust, vibrate, and app-controlled.
Keep reading for our round-up of the best, as well as everything you need to know about male masturbators.
Best male masturbators at a glance:
What is a male masturbator?
If you’re wondering what the fuck we’re on about – you have two hands, after all – allow us to explain.
“A male masturbator is a sex toy designed to stimulate the penis during solo or partnered play,” according to April Maria, sex and relationships coach and Resident expert at Sex tech brand Hot Octopuss.
Just like clit vibrators, penis masturbators don’t come in one form. In fact, there are a ton of different types.
“While many people think of them as simple sleeves, there is actually a wide variety available to suit different preferences,” Maria explains.
“Some have an inner textured sleeve, some have motorised thrusting features, and others can be used flaccid or erect and even hands-free. Some masturbators even offer oscillations or suction-like sensations, and some even mimic specific anatomical forms.”
Best male masturbators to shop now
Now that we’ve got that sorted, HuffPost has rounded up the very best male masturbators, strokers, and blowjob machines on the market. Ready, set, go!
Best app-controlled masturbator
If you want to introduce something fun and interactive to your solo time, this masturbator from Lovense has all the tricks you could ever need.
It’s motion-controlled, so if you move it faster it will vibrate more intensely. Not to mention it can be linked to the Lovense app, which has unlimited and completely customisable vibration modes, which you can programme yourself or ask your long-distance lover if they’re game.
The app also unlocks tons of games and it can be synced to music or erotic content, so there are more ways for you to get off than you ever could have imagined.
+ It’s open, so it can fit any girth
+ The app is really the best of its kind for long-distance play
+ Super easy to clean as it doesn’t come with an internal sleeve
+ Can be synced to other Lovense toys so you can come together
– Battery life isn’t quite as long as other Lovense products, but still nearly two hours
Features: Unlimited vibration modes, app-controlled, motion sensor
Material: Silicone
Power: Rechargeable
Battery length: 110 minutes
Dimensions: 4.17 x 2.13 x 1.3 inches
Waterproof: Yes.
Best for realistic blowjob sensations
Tell us you don’t want realistic blowjob sensations without having to find a partner to give you one. We dare you.
Bellesa has the answer to, well, pretty much everything, which is why we’re not at all surprised it has launched a machine that gets as close to the best head of your life as you could have ever dreamed of.
It uses thrusting and rotating technology, so not an inch will go unnoticed, and you can even use it hands-free for a fully relaxing experience.
+ Comes with a travel lock
+ Rotates around the head, which feels crazy good
+ Quite quiet, as masturbators go
– Not the most discreet looking toy
Features: 4 thrusting and rotating patterns and 4 speeds
Material: Hard plastic
Power: Rechargeable
Battery life: Not stated
Dimensions: 5 x 2 internal inches; 10.8 x 3 external inches
Waterproof: Splashproof.
Best fleshlight
Everyone on earth has heard of Fleshlight, and there’s a reason for that. This one is Lovehoney’s bestselling masturbator, and we suspect it might be something to do with the fact it’s filled with TPE that feels soft and realistic against your dong.
The entire sleeve is covered in bumps, which obviously feel insane as you thrust in and out of it, and can be made otherworldly by twisting the base of the toy to unlock suction power, too.
To make sure your new best bedmate stays clean and safe, the whole thing comes with a travel cap, which also transforms it into a discreet object to leave on your bedside table.
+ The people’s princess of masturbators, truly everyone will like this
+ A pretty accessible price point
+ Love that you can adjust the suction by twisting the base
– Maintenance can be a bit tricky as you’ll need to powder the sleeve to keep it fresh
Features: 6 insertable inches
Material: Soft plastic
Power: None
Battery life: N/A
Dimensions: 8 inches
Waterproof: Submersible.
Best for stamina control
Did you know that around 20-30% of men orgasm within five minutes? It’s nothing to be ashamed of it that’s you, and it’s actually becoming more common.
That’s why LELO has created this vibrating masturbator that doubles as a stamina trainer. Not only is the inside loaded with haptic feedback technology, which means it adjusts the vibrations to your speed and movements, but the LELO app also comes with custom kegel exercises so you can improve the strength of your orgasms, too.
If that sounds like more work than it’s worth, don’t worry, you‘ll not only have a blooming good time in the moment but safeguard yourself against longer, stronger orgasms in future, too.
+ Open-ended so it fits a range of sizes
+ Easy to clean
+ The app unlocks six extra vibration modes
+ AI settings is fun to use
– App connectivity can be unstable
Features: App-controlled, AI mode that helps with stamina training, kegel training. Eight vibration modes plus six more in the app
Material: Silicone, ABS plastic
Power: Rechargeable
Battery length: 2 hours
Dimensions: 1.33 x 1.78 insertable inches; 4.3 inches long externally
Waterproof: Yes.
Most versatile masturbator
Good news for sore wrists, this masturbator doesn’t need to move to have a good time. In fact, Hot Octopuss created the first of its kind male vibrator, with this masturbator that oscillates against your frenulum.
It’s great for those with mobility issues, but if you do want to add something more, it can be used as a stroker as it’s open-ended.
Should you experience erectile dysfunction, this could also be the toy for you, as you can use it while completely flaccid, too.
+ Can be used as a stroker or held in place
+ Super inclusive and easy to use
– Charge only lasts one hour
Features: 8 oscillating speeds and 6 vibration speeds
Material: Silicone, ABS
Power: Rechargeable
Battery life: 1 hour
Dimensions: 4.6 x 2.6 x 2.8 inches
Waterproof: Yes.
Best for multiple sensations
You’re a multifaceted guy, and that should be reflected in your toy. This masturbator is loaded with both vibrations and suction technology, for stimulation that will blow you off your feet – literally.
But it doesn’t stop there – if you want to get even closer to the action, the sides can be pressed down to get closer to your member, for as realistic sensations as you could possibly hope for.
Naturally, that means the sleeve is also lined with bumps and ridges so your shaft feels every movement. Woah.
+ So many modes to play with
+ Easy to hold shape
+ Has a travel lock so you can take it on holiday with you
– Power only lasts 45 minutes
Features: 7 vibration patterns, 3 vibration speeds, 3 suction intensities, squeeze sides, and Boost mode
Material: Silicone, hard plastic, TPE sleeve
Power: Rechargeable
Battery life: 45 minutes
Dimensions: 10 insertable inches, 11.4 externally
Waterproof: No.
Best for realistic sensations
Sometimes when you’re using a sex toy, it simply doesn’t cut it. Our advice is to accept it for what it is: it’s a tool, not a replacement, so it’s not always going to feel exactly like the real thing.
If you are craving the sensation of a real mouth but don’t want to go the extra mile, this masturbator from Blowmotion uses warming technology that means it heats up to 40 degrees.
Of course, it’s also loaded with vibrations, which will feel extra sensitive against your shaft thanks to the heat.
+ Sits on the top of your penis so you don’t have to move it if you don’t want to
+ It’s easy to use
+ Works for different size penises
– Not very long, so not great for all-over stimulation
Features: 6 vibration patterns with 3 intensities
Material: Silicone
Power: Rechargeable
Battery life: 1 hour
Dimensions: 3 internal inches
Waterproof: Splashproof.
Best discreet masturbator
We’re not only including this masturbator because of its name – promise! This toy might be soft and squishy like a marshmallow, but it’s also completely unsuspecting thanks to looking just like a coffee cup.
Thanks to the sides being filled with air, once you’ve inserted your schlong into this toy, you get to decide how firm of a grip you want on it.
But that’s not all – the inside is filled with rows and rows of tiny ridges, so your shaft will get a relaxing massage as you lull your way to orgasm.
+ Great for more gentle stimulation, and if you want to edge yourself
+ Looks and feels very approachable
+ Ideal if you like something tactile while you get off
– No vibrations, so there’s less you can do with it
– Can be fiddly to clean
Features: Travel cap, removable sleeve, squishy sides to customise grip
Material: Elastomer, silicone, PC, ABS, urethane, POM
Power: None
Battery length: N/A
Dimensions: 16.5 × 8.7 × 8.5 cm
Waterproof: Yes.
Best for new sensations
Bored of the same old up and down? Fair. This vibrating masturbator is designed to send its vibrations horizontally, thanks to the squeeze technology that means you can pulse the vibrations against your shaft.
Speaking of vibrations, there are three vibration speeds and six patterns to choose from, so you’ll never get bored.
Plus, good news for you lazy cleaners out there, the sleeve is removable so it’s pretty smooth sailing from beginning to end.
+ Beaded canal for extra texture
+ Charge lasts for 2 hours
+ Great to use with a partner
– Can’t be fully submerged in water
Features: 3 vibration speeds and 6 patterns, squeeze sides
Material: Hard plastic, silicone, soft plastic
Power: Rechargeable
Battery length: 2 hours
Dimensions: 3.5 x 0.7 insertable inches; 4.25 inches externally
Waterproof: Splashproof.
Best self-lubricating stroker
If you’re new to the male masturbator game, this small stroker from Lovehoney could be an approachable intro to the world of wanking.
It might be teardrop-shaped, but it’ll only induce happy tears, as the inside is entirely self-lubricating. So you don’t have to buy your own lubricant, all you have to do is add a few drops of water to the inside of the sleeve to activate its slickness.
Beware, though, after five uses the lube will run out so you’ll need to use your own. We’d recommend this one.
+ Affordable option for beginners
+ Super stretchy so it can fit any size
+ Filled with bumps for added texture
– No vibrations
– Lube runs out after a few uses (but you can just buy more!)
Features: Self-lubricating
Material: TPE
Power: None
Battery life: N/A
Dimensions: 3 x 1 insertable inches; 3.5 inch externally
Waterproof: Yes.
Best rotating masturbator
Who says you can’t have a wank that blow you into a different dimension? Arcwave certainly hasn’t, because it’s created this masturbator that spins a full 360 degrees – now there’s something your partner can’t do.
Not only does it come with four modes that allow you to lie back and have hands-free fun, but you can sync the masturbator with the KooSync app to match the sensations up with your favourite erotic content, or to let your partner take the reins from wherever they happen to be in the world.
+ A sensation that most other toys don’t come with
+ Love that it moves a full 360 degrees, for immersive stimulation without an annoying pause
+ So clever that it syncs with the app
– It’s a little noisy
Features: Rotating stimulation in four modes: manual, speed select, autopilot and intense
Material: Hard plastic, silicone
Power: Rechargeable
Battery life: 1 hour
Dimensions: 4.5 internal inches; 5.2 external
Waterproof: Submersible.
What to look for when buying a male masturbator
If you’re still stumped by that list (ahem) we’ve asked Maria to suggest what features to look out for when shopping:
- Texture: “Different toys offer very different sensations, so it’s helpful to think about whether you enjoy gentle stimulation, vibration, or a more intense stroking motion,” Maria suggests. “Do you want something soft, ribbed or even beaded?”
-
Features: “If you wanted to take it up a notch, some toys offer advanced features like thrusting elements, suction options and even vibrations or warming functions.
-
Maintenance: “Beyond the experience and feel, it’s also important to choose a toy made from body-safe materials to ensure safety and longevity. You also need to consider that some toys will need extra care, cleaning and maintenance after use.”
How do you use a male masturbator?
While we’d like to say you can simply slip your schlong in a hole and call it a day, it’s not always that simple. Here are Maria’s top tips for using a male masturbator:
Lube, lube, and more lube!
“It is one of the simplest ways to make a male masturbator feel more comfortable and pleasurable. Make sure to apply it to both the toy and your penis.”
Take it slow
“Take your time and experiment with different speeds, pressures and movements to help you discover new ways to experience pleasure instead of relying on the same technique every time,” Maria recommends.
Cleanliness is key
“Make sure to maintain your toy after every use,” she adds. “This includes thoroughly cleaning it, drying it, and storing it according to the manufacturer’s instructions. Some toys can be pricey, so proper care helps maintain both hygiene and the product’s lifespan.” Amen to that.
FAQs about male masturbators
We get it, buying a sex toy is a serious venture. To make double double sure you’re making the right purchase, we’ve answered your burning questions.
Can you use a male masturbator with a partner?
“Absolutely, although they’re often marketed for solo pleasure, male masturbators can be a great addition to partnered sex,” Maria explains.
“Couples can incorporate them into foreplay, oral sex or mutual masturbation.
How do you clean a male masturbator?
How you clean a male masturbator depends on the model. If it has a removable sleeve, you’ll want to take that out and flip it inside out, before washing it out with soap and water or sex toy cleaner.
If it doesn’t have a removable sleeve, you’ll need to make sure you thoroughly clean the inner and outer portion of the toy with hot water and soap or sex toy cleaner.
You’ll also want to make sure you towel dry your toy and store it away from dust and light, and in a storage pouch if you’re storing it with other toys.
Some masturbators, like Fleshlights, require maintenance with a powder, so make sure you read the instructions to make your toy last as long as possible.
Politics
Why You Feel Sick When You Wake Up Earlier Than Normal
Have you ever set your alarm early to catch a flight or head to a work event, and been overwhelmed by a sicky feeling? If so, you’re certainly not alone.
People have taken to Reddit’s r/NightOwls forum to try and understand the phenomenon. One person explained how they’d wake up at 7am to shower and get ready and “feel like throwing up”.
“This has been happening for basically my entire life. Up until today it stopped because I had a schedule that had me waking up at like 2pm. No nausea at all,” they explained.
“But suddenly it’s back and now I think it has something to do with waking up in the morning.”
Among the numerous other comments from people agreeing they struggle, too, one person added: “YES!! no matter how much sleep I get or if I eat before bed I still get nauseous waking up early, but not if I wake up at my normal time.”
Why do I feel sick when I wake up early?
Dr Zachary Rubin, a double board-certified paediatrician specialising in allergy and immunology, shared on Instagram that it’s “common” for people to experience nausea if they wake up earlier than usual and there are several reasons why this might be.
He explained: “When you wake up earlier, it can disrupt your digestive system since it has its own body clock – kind of like the circadian rhythm you have with your sleep cycle.
“That, coupled with having an empty stomach, stress hormones, and lack of sleep can make you feel quite queasy.”
According to BASS Medical Group, low blood sugar can contribute to morning nausea and lightheadedness. “If you skipped dinner or didn’t eat enough protein and carbs the night before, your body may be running on empty by morning,” reads the site.
Dehydration and anxiety can also contribute to this sensation, as can taking certain types of medication (iron tablets, antibiotics, etc) and underlying gastrointestinal conditions.
What can you do about it?
To reduce the chance of this happening, Dr Rubin suggested getting to bed earlier if you plan on having an early start.
He also suggested ensuring you have a bright light exposed to you when you first wake up “because that’ll help jump start your day from a circadian rhythm standpoint”.
Eat a bland snack, if you can, and hydrate to help your digestive system. “Avoid fatty foods or alcohol,” he also advised.
If you’re going to be travelling by car somewhere – for example, a taxi to the airport or train station – he advises staying off your phone, sitting in the front seat and having plenty of air circulating to help keep motion sickness at bay.
Lastly, the expert warned, if you suffer nausea every morning (regardless of when you wake up), you’re vomiting, losing weight, having severe abdominal pain, headaches, or it’s possible you’re pregnant, speak to your medical provider about it as an underlying issue may be at play.
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