Actor Emily Blunt was recently asked for advice for young women who hate their jobs. Her response – to quit and pursue what you want or love to do, even if it earns no money – generated polarised reactions.
Many people bristled at the financial impossibility of following this advice. Others rightly pointed out that this question is too complex to be answered in a brief interview reply.
At any stage of your career, it can be challenging to know why, when and how to quit. These decisions are especially tough when considering leaving your first “real” job. You’ve never made the leap, and the stakes can be high.
Thankfully, there are signposts that can help. These come in the form of jolts: events that cause us to stop and rethink our relationship with work. As an organisational psychologist, I’ve spent the past 15 years studying how people quit their jobs, including the jolts that lead them to look for the exit door.
No one’s 20s and 30s look the same. You might be saving for a mortgage or just struggling to pay rent. You could be swiping dating apps, or trying to understand childcare. No matter your current challenges, our Quarter Life series has articles to share in the group chat, or just to remind you that you’re not alone.
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Jolts are typically (but not always) negative events. They may happen directly to us at work, but can also come from events in the lives of those around us – for example, a major work failure, a small slight from your boss, or the departure of a well-liked coworker.
While they can happen any time, they are especially common in the first year of a new role, in moments where you realise that the reality of a job doesn’t line up with your expectations. Outside of work, good or bad news in your personal life can also jolt you into reevaluating the time and energy you’re investing in work.
The key question is: when is a jolt an insignificant moment of doubt, and when does it signal a real problem that needs addressing?
Determining the answer requires perspective that comes from separating yourself from the emotional aftermath of jolts. So, when they happen, it’s typically best not to respond right away, but instead have a plan to revisit them at a later time.
By scheduling a recurring check-in on your relationship with work, perhaps every three to six months, you’ll free yourself from the pressure of having to think through every jolt immediately – which can be a recipe for discontentment and burnout. In “batching” your jolts, you’ll find that many fade away over time, allowing you to see the ones that signal a real problem in your relationship with work.
To determine whether a jolt points to a real problem, it helps to mentally zoom in and out of your relationship with work. Is the cause of the jolt an everyday drain on your positive energy? Has it revealed that your job is no longer fulfilling its purpose in the broader scheme of your career?
Finally, think about all of the positive aspects of your job, and ask yourself: does this problem outweigh them? If the answer is yes to one or more of these questions, then it’s worth taking action.
Stick or twist
So, what do you do when you realise a jolt is a real problem?
The first step is to speak up to see if the problem can be resolved. Too often, especially early in their careers, people don’t ask for changes at work because they assume the answer will be no, or that complaining will harm their reputation.
Bringing up problems to your boss can indeed be a career-limiting move. Research has found that managers tend to rate employees who raise problems lower than those who don’t speak up, or who only speak up with positive suggestions for improvement.
However, speaking up is less likely to backfire when workers offer a realistic solution that benefits not only themselves but also the organisation.
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Speaking up is sometimes all it takes to get your relationship with work back on track. And even if it fails, it is still valuable. You can move on to considering quitting with the knowledge that the cause of your departure was unresolvable, which will reduce future feelings of regret over “what could have been”.
The next step is to weigh up your alternative career options. It’s critical not to rush this process. Spending weeks, months or even years on a career plateau, looking for the right next move, is common. During this time, beware of the tendency to withdraw a bit at work and give other behavioural “tells” to observant colleagues that you’re eyeing the exit door.
However, once you locate and secure what’s on the other side of that door, it’s time to resign.
The best way to resign
In almost all cases, it’s best to deliver your resignation in a face-to-face (or video) meeting with your boss, during which you share why you’re leaving and give a reasonable notice period. What constitutes reasonable notice differs by country, industry, profession and company. Check your contract and do some research to determine what is right for your situation.
Resigning via email or other messaging platforms is tempting, but it elicits more negative responses than communicating face-to-face. During the resignation, there is little value in disparaging the company or those in it. It’s best to focus on the opportunity ahead rather than problems in your current job.
The way you leave your first job can have lasting implications for your career. The goal should be to avoid burning bridges while leaving in a way that minimises disruption to your team. That means remaining fully engaged during your notice period, and providing the best possible handover of your tasks and projects.
You may even consider giving more notice than necessary and expressing gratitude as you leave. Doing so will not only make for a more enjoyable notice period and a smoother transition, it could also set you up for a future job move that is becoming increasingly common: boomeranging back to your former employer.
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