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Why I Married The Same Man 5 Times

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Why I Married The Same Man 5 Times

Before my husband and I were even a couple, he once asked me what I’d do if I ever really liked someone. I wasn’t known for liking people very much, but I’d thought about it enough to answer.

“I’d get married,” I texted.

“That’s pretty traditional for a nontraditional girl,” he wrote back.

“Well,” I replied, “I don’t believe in sitting on the fence. And I definitely don’t need a boyfriend. Plus, I’d marry the person over and over.”

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I hit send – then spent the next 15 minutes explaining what I meant. I didn’t want one massive wedding with one massive price tag and the pressure of making everything perfect in a single day. If I ever married, I wanted the freedom to do it again and again because the 10th time would feel different than the first.

At the time, it sounded like a quirky theory. Twelve years later, it’s become the way I understand marriage.

So far, I’ve married my husband five times. Though we’ve only done it once legally, each time we exchange vows I learn something new about myself and our relationship.

The first time was at a courthouse. I cried the entire way through.

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After we moved in together, my husband proposed in the middle of sex and then took me to Ikea, which, honestly, feels like the most accurate version of modern romance.

We started planning a wedding, but then one night he said, “I really just wish we were already married.”

A few days later, we stood in front of a judge in the York County Courthouse. I cried – loudly, uncontrollably – through the entire ceremony. I cried so much, I’m convinced the judge thought I was a victim of human trafficking. He looked genuinely alarmed by the idea that this man made me sob my way into matrimony.

It was ridiculous. It was memorable. It was real. It was totally raw.

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And if that had been my only wedding – my only chance to mark the moment – I’m not sure I’d feel as tender about it now.

Courtesy of Lis Anna-Langston

The author and her husband getting married for the second time at Angel’s Watch Inn Ceremony in Connecticut.

The second time was the wedding I’d always imagined.

We later married at a small inn in Connecticut – bouquet, gluten-free cake, handwritten vows, photographs – the works. I still cried, but less this time. I had vows to read out loud and mascara to protect. It was the stuff of fairy tales, and the innkeepers knew exactly how to make it memorable.

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It was dreamy. It was intentional. It felt like a celebration instead of a confession.

The third time was across from a strip club.

We were in Vegas for work and decided it was as good a time as any to say “I do” again. After sushi and DefCon talks, an ex–Iraqi Freedom fighter drove us across town in his taxi to a small chapel where a minister named Cotton live-streamed our ceremony.

He read from the Book of Ruth – my very Southern grandmother’s favourite book.

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She’d been gone for decades, but standing there, I felt like she had reached across time to whisper: Where you go, I will go. And your people will be my people. I cried again – on livestream.

At that point, I accepted that this is simply who I am: the woman who cries at weddings she keeps having with the same man.

The author and her husband in Las Vegas, where they were married for the third time.

Courtesy of Lis Anna-Langston

The author and her husband in Las Vegas, where they were married for the third time.

The fourth time was in a cave.

For Valentine’s Day, we descended into an underground lake in Tennessee to renew our vows. A local radio DJ officiated the ceremony. There were neon hearts. A boat ride across dark water. The DJ’s tone of voice made everything feel like we were about to take a commercial break. It was like the Egyptian underworld with better lighting and no one to weigh my heart against a feather.

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Fearsome creatures aside, I fully admit, when they turned the lights off to show just how deep and dark the cave went, I cried again.

The underground cave in Tennessee where the author was married for the fourth time.

Courtesy of Lis Anna-Langston

The underground cave in Tennessee where the author was married for the fourth time.

The fifth time was in France.

At Le Mont-Saint-Michel, a Catholic abbey rising from the sea, we renewed our vows once more. The priest was flustered as he hunted for the correct liturgy. My grandmother was a devoted Baptist. Her people spoke in tongues and made up entire sermons on the fly. They let the voice of God catapult them to the next words. The Catholics operate with more precision. As I watched the priest shuffle his papers, I realised something I hadn’t expected: how deeply comforting ritual can be.

The priest finally found his words. I breathed deep and willed myself not to cry – not because I wasn’t full of emotion, but because I felt like tears would confuse the already flustered clergyman.

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I thought back at that moment in York County 12 years prior, and the look on the judge’s face during my incessant weeping. Then I brought myself back into the now. The soft lilt of the priest’s French accent as he read in English, the afternoon light, and the magnificence of saying “I domade me feel centered and grounded.

The liturgy was quick. We were blessed with holy water and then sent out into the main room where an enormous statue of Michel defeating the dragon sat. On the way out, I gave a nod to Joan of Arc.

It was about as far from that Vegas strip club as I could get.

Repeating words spoken for hundreds of years. Standing in a space that held centuries of devotion. Letting the weight of history remind me that love is something you choose – not just once, but again and again – made my eyes water, but there was no ugly crying.

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That time I stayed present. I listened. I felt the moment land exactly where it was supposed to. Standing in a fortress on the sea, I experienced a metaphor for how powerful love can be.

The author and her husband at Le Mont St. Michel in France where they were married for the fifth time.

Courtesy of Lis Anna-Langston

The author and her husband at Le Mont St. Michel in France where they were married for the fifth time.

Not everyone understands why we do this

Once, in a group conversation, someone scoffed, “It’s not like your vows expire.”

She wasn’t wrong. But she also wasn’t listening. Because for me, remarriage isn’t about expiration dates. It’s about attention.

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As an ordained Buddhist, I believe one of the most powerful acts we have is presence – really showing up in a moment instead of replaying old versions of ourselves. Every time we marry again, I’m forced to ask:

How do I feel now?
Who are we today?
What does love look like in this season of our lives?

And most important: Who am I?

Maybe many of us would need less couples therapy if we asked those questions more often – intentionally and out loud.

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Weddings don’t have to be one-time performances.

I once worked with a woman who had been planning her dream wedding since high school. She didn’t even have a boyfriend yet, but she had the dress picked out. When I asked why, she said simply, “Because I want the pretty dress.”

Marriage is deeply personal. For some people, it’s about the spectacle. For others, it’s about tradition. For me, it’s about renewal, transformation and love.

Love doesn’t show up once. The success of any great partnership is that love shows up again and again.

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It’s about standing in front of the same person and saying: I choose you.

Again and again and again.

I’ve also learned that it is about choosing yourself – showing up for your needs, being present and staying centred. In a world that wants to pull you in a thousand different directions at once, this is a well-earned life skill.

We don’t know yet where the sixth “I do” will happen, but I do know this: love doesn’t have to be marked only once and you don’t need a ballroom or a budget or a perfectly timed life milestone.

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Sometimes all you need is a courthouse.
Sometimes a cave.
Sometimes a priest who can’t find his script.
Sometimes a taxi driver with a war story.

If you’ve ever wished you could go back to your wedding day, maybe you can.

If you’ve ever felt like your relationship deserved a fresh beginning, maybe it does.

You don’t have to marry your partner five times.

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But you can choose them again today. You can show up for love and let it wow you in a new, unexpected way.

Lis Anna-Langston is a author, storyteller, and cultural observer whose work explores love, devotion, and the emotional architecture of everyday life. Her essays and stories examine how people navigate identity, memory, borders and social systems that have outlived their moral justification in a rapidly changing world.

Do you have a compelling personal story you’d like to see published on HuffPost? Find out what we’re looking for here and send us a pitch at pitch@huffpost.com.

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Morgan Gibbs-White: Is he the leading contender to be England’s number 10 at the World Cup?

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Morgan Gibbs-White celebrates scoring a hat-trick against Burnley

England’s final World Cup squad must be submitted by Saturday, 30 May.

However, the Three Lions have no friendlies lined up before then, so Gibbs-White has the remainder of the season at club level to prove his worth to Tuchel.

Forest have Premier League games against Newcastle, Manchester United and Bournemouth remaining, and at least one more fixture in the Europa League as they take on Aston Villa in the semi-finals of the Europa League on Thursday.

If Gibbs-White can play a key role in Forest winning a European trophy, then that will surely boost his international hopes.

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However, he was taken off 20 minutes after coming on against Chelsea following a clash of heads with Blues goalkeeper Robert Sanchez that left him with a nasty wound which required stitches.

He now faces a race against time to be fit for the semi-final second leg against Villa – with Forest leading 1-0 on aggregate.

“I don’t know if it is a bit late for him to get a call-up now but in my eyes he deserves it,” Perch added.

“All he can do is perform for his club – and that is what he is doing – and Tuchel can’t ignore him for too much longer.”

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Russia and Ukraine announce rival ceasefires as deadly strikes continue

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Russia and Ukraine announce rival ceasefires as deadly strikes continue

Ahead of its own midnight ceasefire on Wednesday (Tuesday 22:00 GMT), Ukraine also launched a series of aerial attacks on Russia, hitting an industrial area in Kirishi in the Leningrad region and a factory that produces military components in Cheboksary, in the Chuvash Republic.

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New 5G masts to be installed on Scarborough building’s rooftop

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New 5G masts to be installed on Scarborough building's rooftop

The installation of a new 5G electronic communications base station on the rooftop of the Scarborough Telephone Exchange building has been given the go-ahead by North Yorkshire Council.

A 3.75m extension will be added to the existing rooftop mast to accommodate nine replacement antennas and other radio equipment.

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Cellnex UK, which applied for permission to upgrade the equipment, operates part of the site for Virgin Media O2.

The building currently accommodates an existing five-metre rooftop stub mast. The proposed works involve an extension to this structure to hold the new and upgraded equipment, resulting in an increase in overall height.

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“Unlike earlier generations of mobile connectivity, 5G has more significant technical and operational requirements, and this has implications on the amount, height, position and design of the new base station apparatus on the rooftop of the building,” according to submitted plans.

Scarborough Current Mast And Proposed 5g Mast. Cellnex.

Cellnex described the telephone exchange as a utilitarian, three-storey building with a flat roof, which currently accommodates a telecommunications base station including the established stub mast and associated telecommunications apparatus.

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It said: “In visual terms, the change will be perceived in the context of the existing rooftop installation, where the design of the headframe remains as existing.

“The upgrade does not give rise to any unacceptable additional visual impact.”

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The company added that the number of antennas and dishes and their size had been kept “to the minimum necessary” to provide 4G and 5G coverage and to link the site back into the operator’s network.

The application was approved by North Yorkshire Council on Friday, May 1, subject to conditions.

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Rochdale pre-school denies ‘children can’t access drinking water’ after damning Ofsted report

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Manchester Evening News

“Water is kept up on a ledge where some children cannot reach”

A Rochdale pre-school has denied its children don’t all have access to drinking water, following a damning Ofsted report.

Little Stars Pre-school has been told they need to make urgent improvements in all categories by the education watchdog. Bosses at the pre-school said they have implemented an improvement plan to address the issues raised by Ofsted.

During a visit to the Fieldhouse Industrial Estate facility at the end of January, the inspector noted how a lack of positive culture around safeguarding left ‘children at significant risk of harm’.

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The recently published report read: “Children do not have their own water cups and instead pour water into universal cups which others then use. Water is kept up on a ledge where some children cannot reach. Therefore, those children who do not speak are unable to request a drink. Leaders do not make certain that staff follow good hygiene procedures.

“For instance, staff do not consistently intervene to wipe children’s extremely runny noses. On the occasions that staff do intervene, they do not wash their own or children’s hands afterwards.

“This does not help to teach children about their own health and wellbeing and puts them at risk of illness.”

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Management at Little Stars denied this claim, saying all children have access to drinking water. The pre-school also pointed out they had been closed to children for the first few weeks of January due to disruption caused by burst pipes and flooding.

They had only just reopened when the inspection took place and feel the inspection report doesn’t accurately reflect the running of the nursery.

The report went on to criticise the pre-school’s curriculum; leadership; and support for those with special educational needs and disabilities. Not all staff can recognise the signs and symptoms of abuse and neglect and don’t know the procedures to follow if they do have concerns about a child, according to the report. Concerns over welfare were also raised by inspector Kayte Farrell.

In response, a spokesperson for Little Stars said: “We are extremely disappointed with the outcome of the recent Ofsted inspection, and we have formally challenged aspects of the report. Following this, I also held a conversation with an inspector in March to raise concerns that the findings do not fully reflect the day-to-day reality of our setting.

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“Little Stars Pre-School is a nurturing environment where children make strong progress and where we have consistently received positive feedback from families. We are proud of the relationships we have built with our children and parents, this remains at the heart of our practice.

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“In relation to the point raised about access to drinking water, children do have access to water in both rooms. It is provided on trays at an appropriate height within reach, staff actively encourage and support all children, including quieter or non-verbal children, to drink regularly.

“Nevertheless, we have reviewed this further strengthened our approach to ensure accessibility is consistently clear and visible at all times. We take all feedback seriously and have already implemented a detailed improvement plan, including enhanced staff support, strengthened monitoring, and a renewed focus on consistency across practice.

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“We are also working closely with the local authority and other external support networks to ensure sustained and measurable improvement.

“Our priority remains the safety, wellbeing and development of every child in our care, as well as continuing to support local working families through our nursery, after-school and holiday provision.

“We remain fully committed to ongoing improvement and would welcome the opportunity to demonstrate the progress made.”

Ofsted have issued the pre-school a Welfare Requirements Notice – requiring the provider to take specific actions in order to improve.

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Traveller site expansion approved amid pitch ‘shortfall’ despite local concerns

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Cambridgeshire Live

The parish council said the village has already made a ‘substantial contribution’ but council officers noted that there was a ‘shortfall’ of available pitches in the district

Plans to enlarge a Traveller site near Wimblington have been approved despite fears they could ‘dominate’ nearby settled communities. The application sought to double the number of permitted caravans at an existing site off Horsemoor Road.

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Three static and three touring caravans were previously allowed but with the latest proposal accepted this is now six of each. A stable block can also be turned into a day room, though Fenland District Council officers said “at least part” was already being used in this way before the application was decided.

Wimblington Parish Council objected to the proposal, as they said the village has already made “a substantial contribution” in terms of Traveller sites. The council noted three established sites along Hook Road and Horsemoor Road.

It also said transporting large static caravans has “severely damaged the narrow rural lanes” and left “deep ruts that damage vehicles”. They said expanding the site “would cause significant and unacceptable impacts on the local environment, infrastructure and community”.

The council officer’s report said that, if approved, the plans would mean Traveller development would exceed the number of conventional homes in the area. Though at odds with planning policy that such sites “should not dominate nearby settled communities”, officers said the benefits outweighed the harm.

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They said a “shortfall of available pitches”, the “personal circumstances of the applicant”, and “additional benefits provided in the form of social inclusion, housing provision and reduced inequality” makes the plans acceptable.

They were put before Fenland District Council’s planning committee last Wednesday (April 29) for a final decision. A confidential document was also considered by the committee who chose not to debate it.

Cllr Ian Benney said the application is “policy compliant” and that “travellers all need somewhere to live”. He said: “Travellers live their life and we should be supporting it – I see nothing wrong with this application and I will be supporting it”.

The committee unanimously approved the plans.

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NASA scientist ‘died three times’ and saw the exact same thing after every experience

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Daily Record

NASA scientist Ingrid Honkala, 55, claims to have had three near-death experiences throughout her life and says each time she encountered the exact same afterlife vision

A NASA scientist who claims to have died three times says she witnessed the exact same afterlife on each occasion. Ingrid Honkala, 55, says she has experienced three near-death episodes at the ages of two, 25, and 52.

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The first near-death experience occurred when she tumbled into a tank of icy water at home, the second during a motorcycle accident, and the third when her blood pressure plummeted while undergoing surgery.

Yet for Ingrid, who went on to earn a PhD in Marine Science and work for both NASA and the US Navy, it was that very first experience at just two years old that left the most profound mark on her. She recalled how, as she fell into the water, rather than panic setting in, an extraordinary sense of calm washed over her.

Ingrid, originally from Bogotá, explained: “Instead of fear, a deep calm came over me. The panic disappeared and was replaced by an overwhelming sense of peace and stillness. It felt as if my awareness separated from my body. My next memories are not of the physical world, but of an expanded state of awareness.

“I remember seeing my small body floating lifeless in the water. At that moment, I no longer felt like a child in a body but like pure consciousness, a field of awareness and light.

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“There was no sense of time, no fear, and no thoughts. Instead, there was a deep knowing that everything was interconnected. I felt completely unified with life itself, as if the boundaries that normally define who we are had dissolved. It felt like being immersed in a vast intelligence filled with love, clarity, and peace.”

Ingrid went on to reveal that during this moment she also sensed she was somehow able to reach her mother several blocks away, something which prompted her mum to turn back.

She recalled: “Even though I was only two years old, that experience left a profound imprint on my consciousness. During the experience, my awareness seemed to move beyond my body. I remember seeing my mother several blocks away from our home as she was walking to her first day at a new job.

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“I remember recognising her and thinking ‘that’s my mum’. At that moment there seemed to be a form of communication between us, not through spoken words, but through awareness.”

Ingrid later revealed that when she brought up the incident with her mother years afterwards, their recollections aligned. She said: “When she arrived, she found my body in the water tank where I had drowned.

“The maid who was supposed to be watching us was in another room listening to the radio and had no idea what had happened.”

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Remarkably, Ingrid insists she has had two further near-death experiences since — one during a motorcycle accident at 25 and another when her blood pressure plummeted unexpectedly during an operation aged 52. On each occasion, she maintains, she found herself back in that same tranquil state.

A profound consequence of Ingrid’s experiences has been the loss of any fear surrounding death, which she now sees not as something separate from life, but as a different realm of understanding. As the years passed, she began having encounters with what she described as “Beings of Light” who communicated with her, though not through conventional speech.

She said: “From that moment forward, I no longer feared death. The experience showed me that what we call the afterlife did not feel like a distant place at all. Instead, it felt like entering a deeper layer of reality that exists beyond our physical senses. In that state, consciousness felt vast, intelligent, and interconnected.

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“To me, the experience suggested that consciousness may not be produced solely by the brain — it may be something more fundamental. As I grew older, I continued to have unusual spiritual experiences, including encounters with what I later described as Beings of Light, luminous presences that communicated through awareness rather than spoken language.”

Ingrid has partly credited these encounters with steering her towards a career in science. She said: “In many ways, my experiences also led me toward science. I wanted to understand the nature of reality through observation and research.

“For many years I focused almost entirely on my scientific career and rarely spoke publicly about my spiritual experiences. Over time, however, I came to see that science and spirituality may not necessarily be in conflict — they may simply be exploring the same mystery from different perspectives.”

While some sceptics have suggested Ingrid’s encounters might have been triggered by her body enduring extreme stress, she insisted what she went through ran much deeper.

She said: “These experiences transformed my understanding of life itself. Instead of seeing ourselves as isolated individuals struggling to survive, I began to understand that we may be expressions of consciousness experiencing life through a physical form.

“From that perspective, death does not feel like the end of existence, it feels more like a transition in the continuum of consciousness. Through these experiences I also came to feel that, at the deepest level, life never truly ends, consciousness continues.”

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Election decision for Whitby residents

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Election decision for Whitby residents

​A Whitby town councillor has resigned from the authority, leaving a seat vacant in the parish council’s West Cliff Ward.

​The seat was held by Sarah Blackwell, who recently resigned.

​If ten residents write to North Yorkshire Council by the set deadline, an election will be held to fill the vacancy.

​If an election is called, it will take place not later than Thursday, July 23.

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​Otherwise, a town councillor will be appointed through a process known as co-option.

Whitby Town Council. Courtesy Numminen/LDRS

​Residents who wish to see an election held should contact North Yorkshire Council by Wednesday, May 20.

​Requests for an election to fill the vacancy should be made in writing to the Proper Officer at North Yorkshire Council’s Civic Centre, St Lukes Avenue, Harrogate, HG1 2AE.

​They can also be contacted via email at elections@northyorks.gov.uk.

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The costs associated with a potential election would be borne by Whitby Town Council.

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Shed Seven announce date in Blackburn – how to get tickets

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Shed Seven announce date in Blackburn - how to get tickets

The band have added a Blackburn date to their Shedcember X tour with tickets going on sale at 10am tomorrow.

Shed Seven (Image: SJM)

The annual winter tour, which this year celebrates its 10th year, has become a celebration for fans of the band who will be marking the 30th anniversary of their acclaimed album A Maximum High.

Lead singer Rick Witter said: “We can’t wait to get out there up and down the UK and soak up what is a unique atmosphere at a Shed Seven gig…”

Shed Seven have enjoyed a remarkable resurgence in recent years. In 2024, they made chart history by achieving their first ever Number 1 album with A Matter Of Time, followed just ten months later by a second Number 1 with Liquid Gold.

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They are currently working on their seventh studio album.

Shed Seven will play Blackburn on Monday, November 18. On sale 10am tomorrow (Wednesday, May 6) from www.bwdvenues.com.

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Brits lost for words turn to AI-generated sympathy messages and condolences

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Daily Mirror

Brits are turning to AI for help as many are guilty of not sending messages to struggling friends or family because they were stuck for words

Four in 10 Brits have turned to AI to compose messages to friends and family for life’s most delicate moments – including love letters, apologies, and condolences. A survey of 1,500 adults exposed the scale of the nation’s writer’s block when it comes to demonstrating they care, with 50% having skipped reaching out to a struggling friend or relative because they couldn’t find the right words.

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This anxiety about saying the wrong thing has also led to 22% never receiving a card during a challenging period in their life. Nevertheless, 64% said even a brief message can be “deeply meaningful”, particularly when experiencing a difficult day.

To stop the trend of saying ‘nothing at all’, 43% are now using artificial intelligence to help generate messages of support or sympathy.

Georgie Smallwood, chief product and technology officer at Moonpig , which commissioned the research, said: “It’s clear even the briefest message or token can mean so much, so we are encouraging people to be braver in those situations when it’s difficult to know exactly what to say.

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“While AI tools obviously can’t replace the human touch in these moments, they can be very helpful in scenarios when you really can’t seem to express yourself – there to push you in the right direction and get the words flowing, rather than write them all for you.

“It’s always better to say something than nothing, so take the help where you can get it for life’s difficult moments.”

The study revealed 45% find themselves completely lost for words during difficult periods, confessing they recognise they have feelings to convey but find it challenging to commit them to paper.

The fear of causing offence or distress is the main reason behind this reluctance, with 46% saying they are held back by the fear of saying the wrong thing. What’s more, 44% said crafting a message to mark any significant life moments, let alone delicate ones, feels stressful.

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A stark contrast has also been highlighted between different generations, as 25–34-year-olds are struggling the most – 61% of this group admitted to delaying messages and 55% to obsessively deleting and rewriting them before sending. In comparison, only 37% of over 55s reported the same hesitations.

Interestingly, 49% of women admit that translating their thoughts into words is a challenge, compared to 41% of men. However, despite finding the writing process a challenge, women still find the written word easier than expressing their feelings in person.

They are significantly more likely than men to express deep emotions in a card or note rather than face-to-face (47% versus 40%).

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Men, meanwhile, have embraced AI more readily to draft messages, being more likely than women to use tools for romantic notes (28% vs 22%) or to find the right words for an apology (26% vs 22%).

Georgie Smallwood, for Moonpig, added: “Every day, customers use our creative tools to help them write messages that really matter, expressing their care, support, sadness, or just to check in and let someone know they’re loved.

“One in two cards sent we send are created using our personalisation tools, making them completely unique.

“It really feels special that we are helping people to stay in touch and say the right thing at the right time.”

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Attempted stabbing in Cambridgeshire town as police hope to speak to man in CCTV

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Cambridgeshire Live

A man reportedly had an altercation with a member of the public and then threatened to stab him.

An attempted stabbing in Ramsey has seen police release CCTV images of a man they would like to speak to in connection with the incident. On Friday, January 12, a man go out of a cream coloured Suzuki in The Avenue in Ramsey at around 5.35pm.

A man reportedly had an altercation with a member of the pubic. He then threatened to stab him.

The victim was not injured and the man involved left the area shortly afterwards. The police are now asking for anyone who recognises the man or has information about the incident to come forward.

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You can report anything to Cambridgeshire Police via its website or by calling 101 quoting incident reference 35/4311/26. You can report anything anonymously to Crimestoppers by calling 0800555111.

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